burntbreadcrumbsinurtoaster

[burntbreadcrumbsinurtoaster]

keep me weak keep me dependent on you

keep me meek keep me needing you

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life imitates art 🫡

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i will love you till the end of time <3

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i love giving 2015 tumblr <3

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[burntbreadcrumbsinurtoaster]

🧎‍♀️‍➡️🧎‍♀️‍➡️🧎‍♀️‍➡️

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attention seeker🫡

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gouge out my eyes and keep them in a jar on your shelf <3

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₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

i hope there are roads left in my shoes

every day i wake up further from my body,

my organs have wandered off,

folded into drawers, pressed between walls,

scattered like coins in the couch cushions of the world.

maybe that’s why my heart beats from the ceiling,

from the hallway,

from somewhere behind the fridge.

it’s an earthquake with no epicentre

just a hum that begs me to sleep through the collapse.

but i dont .

i’ll get up.

i’ll drag my breath behind me like a long coat.

i’ll walk and walk,

through the meat fog,

through the wrong mirrors,

i will look for plans

a purpose

i’ll find my vessel

and when i do,

i’ll stitch the skin shut with wire and heat

pull it so tight the wind won’t dare slip in.

i’ll have a blueprint.

i’ll have coordinates.

i’ll have a body that answers when i call it.

so i’ll close my eyes,

full of hope like milk about to spoil,

and just as much fear

that when i open them again i’ll be so far away,

this time i won’t find my way back.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

the wretched weirdo heart anxiety thing is back and idk how to get rid of it help i can’t go back there i’ll die

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───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

wear protective gear idk

i am the embodiment of Dallol pools

acid veins running through salt-scabbed skin

i will scorch

burn

and taste bitter like metal on the mouth of the earth

nothing survives in my vicinity

and it will be my fault

the fault of my biological makeup

hot-blooded with sulfur and spite

my breath is fume

my touch, corrosion

i pulse with beauty too hostile for you to be able to hold

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

i really wanna visit them but a 17 mile camel journey oh my goodness gracious me😦

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━─━────༺༻────━─━

genetic destiny

i broke the news to my friend the other day ,that i had, once again, altered the appearance of the hair atop my head.

she questioned it,

“did you not say u were trying not to dye it for a while?”

i responded by telling her it was out of my control

that i had no choice in the matter,

and it was something beyond me.

she said she did not understand what i meant .

it’s may the first, 2025

and i have changed my hair 12 times

and each of those 12 time i have truly tried not to,

in hopes of growing it longer,

allowing it to become healthy,

and letting it thicken.

but theres an affliction that creeps in as the roots do

a mirror that whispers my genetic destiny to me

my failure to change.

today i went to wash the build up of deep burgundy off my two hands

what washed off looked like i had just killed somebody or something

the diluted dye never ended

no matter how long i scrubbed

it continued to bleed

like it was trying, so desperately, to hide a secret but there was too much of it to disappear

and how shameful yet euphoric it felt

in that moment

as i believed i had actually managed the task,

the slow undoing of myself

just to glimpse a version that doesn't flinch at being alive.

shedding my skin

ending me

and how hopeless this act is,

so futile .

the colour will keep shifting,

though the part of me that can’t hold a life steady stays untouched.

i’ll keep dyзing,

repainting the ruin

till the ritual becomes enough,

or i have the guts to disappear within it

to no longer have to try, any of it.

━─━────༺༻────━─━

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

i cba to punctuate properly go away

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╭──────────.★..─╮

‪‪❤︎‬ i can’t write but i do haemorrhage words ‪‪❤︎‬

╰─..★.──────────╯

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[burntbreadcrumbsinurtoaster]