burnwme

[burnwme]

Shifting- from an old, yet new, shifter

I think I just want to write something to talk about certain revelations I've had over the past few days. I was once a shifter, and deep down I always have been. I have been since I was 14, four years ago. The idea that it was fake or not real never came to me. I always believed in it but for the past two years I was no longer in that phase of my life. I believe that it's finding me again and for a reason. I have a story and some advice for all shifters.

I was 14 in October 2020 when shifting was gifted to me by the universe. The next week I very (not) coincidentally came across a book series called "The Veil Diaries" but the characters were 18. I had a lot debate about whether shifting to be older but inevitably went with it. I tried for two years and even minishifted. I was ready to give up and had been very very lazy with it for the past year and just refused to give up because I needed proof that I wasn't crazy and hadn't wasted all this time on something that wasn't real. Then I minishifted. I saw my DR bedroom and sat up a little and then felt myself literally phase out. I don't know how to explain it other then that. I felt myself literally leave that body and universe enter my CR body into the poisiton I think woke up in. It was almost like laying back down in a cliche slow-mo trip kind of way. I woke up in an entirely different position than I'd just been in in my DR and kinda shrugged and went "I just shifted" out loud and then rolled over and went back to sleep. For two days after that I didn't quite process what I had just experienced. I was in that weird ungrounded state I get in after shifting. (If anyone is reading this, let me know if you experience this too.) I knew had shifted but hadn't quite grasped how much of an accomplishment for me this was. But after that experience I gave up.

I guess, not to much gave up but moved on. My life no longer suited shifting. Before I was looking for an escape and had in that process given up on my life all together. The constant energy drain and ungroundedness from shifting combined with my already mental health issues and no motivation to get better because I "wasn't going to be in this universe anymore" made for a horrible combination. I mean I had at one point pushed myself so hard energy wise manifesting + shifting that I woke up the next day mysteriously vomiting. I wasn't taking care of myself. When people say to take care of yourself when shifting they don't just mean drink water or get some sun they mean don't give on you, as in YOU now in this universe. This life has to be enjoyable too. That's how you build energy to use. Don't give up on this universe. I promise there's something in it for you. I'm talking to respawners too, no reason your time left here has to be bad. Shifting teaches us that affirmation makes our realities. It's quite literally the same principles as manifesting. Just like how you script when you manifest. All of these spiritual ideas are connected. WE make our realities, which means you make this one too.

Anyways, I found myself so focused on shifting that everything faded out. I would cancel plans to instead shift, only to half ass shifting since at this point I was so depressed I was lazy about absolutely everything including shifting. I half assed my way through school, friendships and everything else in this life. That was genuinely my biggest mistake shifting. I can see that now. Minishifting, allowed me to prove myself that shifting wasn't real and that allowed me to move on from a phase in my life that was hurting me.

Once I moved on I never left spirituality behind. Instead I found a new interest, witchcraft. I had already been doing doing oracle divination for years and despite being ready to move past shifting I wasn't going to leave the rest behind. I've spent two years doing witchcraft. I bettered my life. I attracted new friends, opportunities and a better life for myself. Do you know how? Witchcraft to put it plainly is advanced manifesting and manifesting is the same idea as shifting. Witchcraft, manifesting, scripting are all just energy manipulation of some kind applied in different ways. This idea holds a level of dramatic irony to me since I've put it together from the start of my witchcraft journey yet only just now realized the other day why my first spells were so impactful despite seeing other "baby" witches struggling with such things. I had been practicing energy control and building my prowess for years, I had just been applying it differently.

After two years away from shifting I found myself feeling that escape feeling I felt so wholly when I first found it. I don't think this is a coincidence. Let me lead you down the rabbit hole of signs that have been put across years for me.

The main thing I can think of is February 2020, I was communicating with my spirits guides. (Something I somehow struggle to do these days) Out of all the times I communicated with them this conversation has stuck out the most. I was asking her if I should break up with my then boyfriend, my first boyfriend. We'll call him Owen. Being young and not even 15 yet this was a big deal to me. She wasn't very helpful but she did TOUCH me. It was so odd. I felt her caress my cheek and when she did her motherly presence became entirely overwhelming and as she did she said to me "We will be here throughout all of this." At the time I though she was just referring to him, but hindsight and destiny have a funny way of working.

Fast forward to the past year. I had a bestfriend I met in sophomore year (2021), coincidentally around the same time as the one year anniversary of me finding out about shifting and about the same tie is when I began to gave up on it. Besides the point though, lets call her Izzy. Izzy and I were as close as girls could be. She was my platonic soulmate. She understood me more than I even knew myself and vice versa. She never believed in most of the things I do, but she never cast judgement. Looking back, she wasn't a very good friend at times but she was always there for me and understood me in ways no one else could. I think at the time that's what I needed. February of last year, Izzy was trying to get me back with Owen. You see me and Owen kinda had an on and off thing through high school but had stayed broken up. It was during one these times she tried to get us back together. That didn't happen since I actually met someone and had a short but rather intense relationship and cut things off with Owen. Now only 3 months after that Izzy and Owen get together, after Izzy explicitly promised me she wouldn't. I swear this all relates back just keep up with me. I stop stop speaking to her for 8 months. Until, after loosing to more friends after moving and being lonely I reached back out. But it wasn't just loneliness, I was seeing crows. Her favorite animal, amongst other signs. I was being pushed to reach back out.

So I did. The first time we hung back out we went to a Barnes N' Nobles. We were in the clearance section when I went top pick up a book and it got snagged on another book. A book that I hadn't even seen next to it, behind it or in any ways attached to it. The book it got snagged on fell literally on top of me. I picked it up and it was a shifting book. I'm not even kidding you when

a SHIFTING book fell literally on top of my head!

That was the first sign of all that's lining up for me. Recently, Izzy cut if off with me. (After an ward-name honesty spell protecting me lol) Our friendship was never the same. It was mutual and a conversation I'd been meaning to have with her anyways. After the next few days I'd had a HECTIC week of trying to figure out college and inevitably push it back due to monetary and commitment issues lol. I was at work doing dishes and shifting came into my brain. I think about it sometimes, but this time was different. I genuinely considered shifting again but literally though to myself that I "wouldn't know where to go" because my book series had ended with them, yes being the same age as me now, but still in the start of their senior year and I was now aiming for college.

Later that night sitting down trying to do a tarot reading I was struggling with it again. I had been in such a blocked, overwhelmed spot. I just wanted to escape, just take a break. Much like when I started to shift. It was then I thought about my book series again and for the first time in years I felt the notion to look it up. There's not fandom for this series, I had the books literally next to me and downloaded on my phone. I never look it up, theres nothing to see. But it was like this pull to do so and so I did. Only to find THERES A NEW BOOK. That was released almost exactly a year ago (when I would've been starting my senior year.) This new book they're starting university, like I currently am. It's been released for a year and it found me NOW. After the first time seeing Izzy a shifting book fell on my head and the last time I talk with her shifting and new book finds me all over again. I know long story for that, and there's been many other small signs in between January-August but those are the main that come to mind.

I think when my spirit guide said to me she'd been with me throughout all of this she meant more than my silly breakup with Owen. She meant the bigger picture of spirituality, shifting, witchcraft and how it would all in a way intertwine with him throughout a series of events he's always somehow caused in my life. She meant my destiny not as just a shifter but as a witch.

My time away from shifting has taught me so much. Me stepping away from it gave me a chance to pivot my energy towards witchcraft which how now given me broader knowledge on how to collect, obtain and use my energy without draining myself in the process. I'm coming back to shifting now with the knowledge of an experience witch. I can use witchcraft not just to better this life, but to better my process of getting to another one.

That being said, I used to put so much stigma around shifting breaks for myself. I put this imaginary deadline on it. I'd go "oh I haven't shifted and it's been two years now" blah blah blah. I was only hurting myself doing that. Not just in my shifting journey but in my personal life and energy. Take it from someone coming back from a

TWO YEAR BREAK

it's not just about regaining your energy and grounding yourself. It's about taking care of this life and learning. I took two years away and everything is lining up for me now. I stepped away from shifting but I never stepped away from the mindset of it, that there's more out there because I knew deep down in someway it would find it's way back to me. And over the course of two years and all these significant social events it did.

My advice to you

Take your time. There's no rush. Don't let shifting take over everything. You're here right now and that's as much as a gift as the knowledge of shifting. Your presence here gives you the opportunity to shift, so don't take this life in front of you for granted.

Focus on the end goal, not shifting in itself when trying to shift. Don't go "I am shifting". Go "I am *name*" or other facts about that life and who you are. When I minishifted I was pretending to think as my dr self would think as she was trying to sleep. That's the "secret".

Research witchcraft an incorporate it. Tarot/oracle readings can be great advice on what your overlooking when shifting or figuring out what will truly fulfill your dreams in your DR. You can do energy calling spells to give you extra energy when shifting so you feel less drained when you come back. You can learn grounding to help you feel better after or to help you learn how to mediate and focus better when shifting. You can use glamour magick to give you confidence when shifting. Or just literally do a shifting manifesting spell!!!! There are so so many ways I can think of to utilize this tool in front of you. If you are practicing witchcraft and shifting please tell me what you do to intertwine these practices?

A break doesn't mean you've failed.

The universe works in weird ways, if you feel you may have grown out of it or just need some time away don't let pride or 'proof' stop you from doing so. You have nothing to prove. You know it's real and it will all still be there waiting for you when you're ready.

Get a hobby. Seriously!!! Focusing all your time on somewhere else isn't healthy. We need mental breaks just as well as physical ones.

Overall, please just take it easy on yourselves. There's no rush. If you feel lazy about shifting, then don't shift. Take your time to find that energy and excitement for yourself again and then come back to it because you're only draining yourself even more.

Don't listen to subliminals every night. You're subconscious brain needs time to process. Keep it to every other, otherwise that will also weigh on your energy and motivation. It's kinda like building muscle. You have to take workout breaks for that muscle to build back.

And speaking of working out. Energy work is easier and more effective with a healthy taken care of body. Not saying to go to the gym (I don't like working out either). But try to live an active lifestyle when you can. Go take a walk in the woods, by yourself or with friends. Take in energy from the earth when you can and be active when you do it.

Give all the bad mucky energy to the earth. Yell at a tree, I'm serious. Mother Earth will take that and turn it into something good. Like our Co2 to Oxygen.

idk HOW many times I can say it but happiness HERE means happiness THERE. Not necessarily always needed but i'm telling you it fucking helps. You don't want to get stuck in the cycle of drained, shifting, even more drained, shifting and so on. It WILL drag you down. So take of yourselves.

I don't know what else to tell you. There's an overall theme in my advice I feel is pretty obvious. Ask any questions and I'll do my best to answer them. <3

[burnwme]

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

[burnwme]

Pink Moon- Alternate Smut Ending

Miles and Lexie on a date to view a pink moon but things turn smutty.

Cw- General explicit smut, overstimulation.

We were lying back on Miles’ trunk during dusk looking at the few stars that had begun to appear. Our backs slightly raised due to the rise of the rear windshield leading into the rest of the car. Our legs were hanging off of the closed truck of the car. He had parked the car in a random field just outside of town. He said he wanted to show me something. I figured it was something important if he bothered to switch date nights with Ethan. It was spring out and at night it made it a little chilly, leaving goosebumps running up and down my arms despite my sweater. Miles’ noticed, he always did, he got up and before I could say anything asking why he opened the back door and pulled out a black blanket decorated with constellations. He hopped back onto the back of the car then proceeded to cover us both before lying back again. I looked over at him. His hair had grown out a bit leaving curls at the end that I've grown to love. It had been quiet between us. Not a bad quiet but instead a type of light and loving quiet. A “we don’t need to talk to enjoy this moment together” type of quiet. But I was still curious about what he wanted to show me.

So I asked “Miles?” “Hmm?” He turned to look at me. I met his eyes “What did you want to show me?” He turned his gaze back towards the sky above us “There’s supposed to be a pink moon tonight.” I looked back towards the sky now, my gaze searching for the moon. “A pink moon?” “Yes Angel '' he replied. “And it only shows up tonight. That's why we had to switch if I wanted to experience it with you. “ He continued. My eyes had found the moon. It wasn’t pink. “It’s not pink? Like we’re talking to color here right? Not some sciencey term” I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke next “It might not be, more of a tint.” I looked at him again, wanting to get my talkative, not-so-nervous and cautious when he speaks Miles. “Why is it going to pink?” He turned his head to face me, his eyes lighting up with excitement to talk about his interests and to have someone listen. “Well” He began. “We get about two super moons a year. Super moons are when the moon is closer to the horizon and when it’s closer to the horizon light has to travel through more of the Earth's atmosphere allowing it to take on more of a tinge of orange or red especially if there’s pollution. Kind of how the sky takes on the ocean's color, making it blue '' It took my mind for a second to really grasp it but once I did I said “Oh” and turned to look back at the sky. But I missed him talking “Can you tell me more?”

And he did. He began to talk about things like “moon illusion” and how if added with an eclipse it’d make it tinge even more red due to “light filtering”. Once he couldn’t tell me more, so he began to point at the stars we could see so far and tell me the constellations they were a part of. I listened to him talk for maybe an hour asking questions occasionally until he pointed at the moon in front of us “Look.” he said gently. My eyes followed his arm up to his hand to where he was pointing, the moon. It was a pinkish-orangish color. It was pretty. I sat up hoping to get a better look, Miles followed suit. I scooted closer to him, wanting cuddles. He gladly accepted the invitation and wrapped his arm around me pulling me closer till I was leaning against him, my back to his chest. “It’s pretty” I said as I breathed in his wintergreen scent. “Yeah it is.” He looked down at me. Both of us feeling the romance of the moment we leaned in, we kissed. It was soft, slow and sweet under the color altered moonlight. My heart felt light, airy and entirely happy. I hoped he felt the same. And when we pulled back, both of us slightly out of breath, he told me he did with a gentle voice “I love you.” and at that moment I did too. It wasn’t the first time we said it, it wouldn’t be the last. But mixed with the romance of the moment and his gentle tone it made it entirely more meaningful in my heart. I looked up into his eyes through the lens of his glasses and told him in a loving tone of my own “I love you too Miles... always”. He gave me a gentle smile before kissing the tip of my nose.

As he pulled back I wanted his lips on me again so I leaned in to kiss him. As our lips met he glady kissed me back. As he did I felt a stroke of heat near my navel leaving behind the desire to deepen our kiss. I needed to turn towards him to do it, though I wasn’t going to fully be able to fully turn to get the leverage I needed. So I simply just moved to straddle his lap, breaking our kiss in the process. As I settled on him I leaned down to kiss him again, opening my mouth hoping he’d accept my invitation. He did so by opening his mouth against mine, his tongue stroked mine and I met his tongue stroke by stroke as we began to makeout. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me closer to him, my chest now against his. He broke our kiss, both of us out of breath. But he did not waste time moving his lips from mine to my jaw line. He left pecks along it before moving down to my neck. He kissed my collarbone before moving to his right and suckling, leaving behind a hickey and heat running throughout my body all the way down to inbetween my legs. He had begun to leave a few everytime we did something after we removed the no marks rule. And he followed his usual pattern. Once he was done with that spot he moved further down my neck right to above my collarbone and had begun to do the same to that spot but before he broke away he bit the flesh there lightly, leaving behind the mix of a hickey and a love bite. I gasped at the feeling, leaning my head back giving him the space to do everything he wanted, enjoying it all completely.

His lips remained all over my neck as his hands found their way under my shirt from my waist. They moved up and up leaving goosebumps in his wake until he reached my ribs. They stopped and he lifted his head to look up at me, his emerald colored eyes reaching mine asking for permission. I nodded allowing him to move his hands further up, which he did. He felt around my chest lightly, waiting for my reaction to make sure. I pressed against his hands, wanting more. The more he touched me the more I felt like my body had been lit on fire, leaving goosebumps and a pool between my thighs. God does he have any idea what he does to me?

I knew that he understood that I wanted more of his touch leading him to reach around me and unhook my bra. He glanced up at my eyes, making sure as we both heard the small click and the feel of my bra becoming loose around my boobs that I was sure. I moved against him, encouraging him. I could see the look of lust in his eyes grow as he felt the friction I had just made between us. I smirked, enjoying that look in his eye, I always did. He pulled the straps from my arms as I moved with him to assist. Once I was free of my bra he pulled it out from under my shirt and set it beside us so we wouldn’t lose it. I briefly wondered where he learned to take off a bra without even lifting the shirt? Then quickly shut it out. I did not need to be thinking of things that will just make me jealous, especially not right now.

Coming out of my head I smiled down at him before reaching for his shirt and began to pull it up, just slightly. I was waiting for the signal that it was okay. He lifted his arms showing me to continue. I eagerly pulled his shirt up and took in the familiar sight of broad shoulders, the occasional freckles that dotted along his shoulders and the lines along his stomach. I smiled at it, god do I love him. He smiled back up at me then gently pulled me down for a tender kiss. Though with our bodies still on fire the kiss quickly deepened into something that left us panting when we separated. But we didn’t separate for long, after a few pants to catch our breath we immediately pressed our lips against each other again. Our bodies pressed together but I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted to feel his skin against mine without a singular layer between us, something about it was just better that way.

I broke the kiss abruptly and leaned back and pulled at the hem of my shirt till it was off, not really worrying about viewers because although it was an open area no one was around and hadn’t been the whole time we’d been there. I set it where my bra was lying next to us. My shirt now off the slight chill of the night set in leaving goosebumps along my skin which was soon replaced by Miles’ warm hands as he noticed I was a little cold. Observant as ever. Though one of his hands left my body momentarily I followed it as it reached for the blanket that was now pooling behind me. He pulled it up around my back and situated it to wrap around both him and me, keeping us both cozy.

After being properly situated we happily went back to what we were doing, both of longing for the other. Now that I was underdressed in front of him he gladly took in the sight of me. I watched his face as his eyes grew even more tighter and as something hard began to press my clit through the fabric of my jeans. I smirked, he noticed which prompted him to chuckle slightly accompanied by a small shake of his head. He knew what I was going to do. Good. I began to grind down against him, both of us enjoying the feeling.

Though in usual Miles’ style he surprisingly liked to have a bit of control. You’d think shy nerdy Miles’ would prefer to be below me but you don’t know him like I do. If you get him comfortable enough he’d happily come out of his shell and become the brave Miles he often is when we're alone. He grabbed my hips using them as leverage to pull me down against him and thrust up. I moaned slightly at the feeling of him against me harder than I could've manager in this position, it also probably had something to do with how he had become even harder now. I grinded myself against his next thrust leading us both to groan together. Fuck he felt good flush against me like this. He continued on, finding a pace that pleased us both but fuck it wasn’t enough. My body was screaming for him just to take me and god did I hope he wanted the same.

I sat up a little, lifting myself off of him. I reached for the button on his jeans, once my hands were on it I looked up at him “Can I-” but before I could finish my sentence I was interrupted by a throaty “Yes.” I eagerly popped his button and pulled his jeans down and off as he lifted to help me. Once I had set his jeans in the clothing pile we were creating next to us he reached for me and my skinny jeans. He stopped before I reached down and popped my own button showing him it was okay. He unzipped my jeans and I got off and sat down next to him knowing we weren’t going to be able to get them off with my legs bent over him. He pulled the jeans over my ass as I lifted to help just as he did for me. He got them down until my ankles where they got stuck and I yanked them off and threw them in the growing pile. Once I was done with my task and my awareness was brought back to my surroundings I immediately felt the cold seeping throughout my body since I had left our blanket behind to undress. Miles held his hands out signaling for me to come back to him and the blanket, knowing I was cold. I happily took his invitation and settled back in his lap as he brought the blanket back around us. But with the blanket around us the night was still getting colder and I was well- getting nakeder, it was cold as shit and I shivered. Miles’ obviously noticed and said with concern in his voice “Why don’t we go in the car? We can turn the heat on. It’d probably be better anyways, skin sticks to the metal which just sounds painful with all that sliding.” I chuckled at that, he was right that did sound painful. Instead of sliding just get a car version of a rug burn. I internally cringed. “Yeah that’d probably be better.” I smiled down at him as I moved off of him allowing him to get off of me, leaving the blanket for him. He got up and handed it to me, I took it shaking my head slightly. Ever the gentleman. I wrapped it around myself as I hopped off the car and watched as he opened the back as motioned for me to get in, he followed after me.

The car wasn’t nearly as chilly as outside, not necessarily warm though. I watched as he reached between the console from the back and put his keys in the ignition and turned the car on then twisted the nozzle for the heat. I cringed as cold air blasted out. He turned it off. “We’ll turn it on in a minute, this should be good for now though.” I nodded, agreeing. He set his glasses on the dashboard. I motioned out with grabby hands asking for him to come to me. He obliged. I was partially sitting, partially lying against the door with my legs spread with Miles in between them. He looked down with a mixture of love and lust in his gleaming eyes. I leaned up and kissed him gently, feeling the love of the moment, but our lust didn’t hold back for long because soon we were deepening the kiss. Turning it into a hot kiss with small pants as we’d break a part for only a second before immediately smashing against each other again. A kiss that had me wrapping my arm around his neck and pulling him closer until we were completely pressed together, desiring to be as close to him as possible. A kiss that had throaty noises coming from both of us and a few moans from me as we memorized the pattern of each other's taste buds.

He broke the kiss and leaned back then proceeded to put both hands on my spread inner thighs. He leaned forward and kissed my left inner thigh right where his hand was, he looked up at me as he did it. God that was hot. He removed his hand on that thigh as the other one began to need achingly close to my heat. I kissed further up while maintaining eye contact with me. He kept going further and further going slow enough to make me squirm in impatience and want. He chuckled slightly, his voice lower and laced with lust, as I noticed some sort of spark light in his eyes. “Patience Angel.” He spoke in that lustful tone that just drove me crazy inside. He moved up further than before, barely an inch away from where I wanted his mouth on me to be. Then he moved just above. Yes! He finally was going to- he moved up and proceeded to lean over me again in our previous position. I whined and he just looked down at me with that playful smirk. “Angel, whining girls don’t always get what they want. You should really learn how to use your words.” I frowned, lustfully annoyed. He was teasing me. “You’re teasing me, that's not fair. “ He leaned down into my ear. “Then do something about it.” I huffed. I should've figured. It’s Miles after all.

He’s probably trying to get a reaction out of me. Miles is the type where the girl’s reactions and pleasure is what pleasures him. It’d make sense. Or did he just want for me to be in control? I mean he does flip in confidence around me all the time, I definitely could see him being a switch. Mm… I shook it off. It didn’t matter. I had the opportunity to get out of his teasing which is usually relentless, like I said I've noticed he likes my reactions to what he does. I took my opportunity and sat up. I grabbed his chin and pulled him into a rougher kiss. I could be dominant, just ask Isaac. And he managed to spark and challenge the dom in me and he was going to get it. I pulled back and pushed my nail on his shoulder, motioning for him to lay back as I had previously. He obliged and I wiggled my way between his legs. I brought my hands up to the waistband of his boxers and made eye contact with him, making sure. I’d never really been the one in control with him yet, it was always him. I wanted to make sure. He nodded, lust sparkling in his eyes. I pulled them down as he lifted to help, when they reached his calf he kicked them off and onto the floorboard. I smirked at the sight of his boner in front of me. A singular word of thought came to me then. Payback. I had to stop myself from smiling at the thought, I didn’t want to give my plans away. I brought my nail up to the base of his cock and ran it up it agonizingly slow. His breathing picked up. I wasn’t done. As my nail reached his head I ran circles over it. I smiled as I watched his hand go straight out and grab the bottom of the seat almost desperately. I stopped my circles. I moved my hand to the side of his cock facing him and brought my nail up from bottom to top again. I watched his face, amused. His cheeks and ears were bright pink, he was panting as a wild look of lust swirled in his emerald orbs. I began my circles again and his control over his own body was seemingly lost as his hips snapped up desperately.

“Lexie.” He whined up at me. He- He just. Miles’ who has always been the one in control here actually just whined. And god it was fucking hot. That noise alone made me want to squirm. I watched as he leaned his head back, eyes tightly shut as his hips bucked up against my hand again. Seeing Miles like this was just- woah. I didn’t want it to end, if anything I almost wanted to make him fall further apart. But I needed him to let me. “Aww… you poor thing. Here let me help you.” I said in fake pity that I hoped he believed. Normally he’d notice but probably not in this state. And I was right. Too lost in his own haze of desperation he nodded eagerly, not noticing my lie at all. Good, I smirked. I wrapped my hand around him and began pumping slowly, he groaned. The noise made the heat swarming around my body increase, sending jolts of it down to my core. I began to use my other hand, hoping to get him there faster… to ruin it faster. I had to stop an evil giggle from escaping me. I watched as precum dripped out of his cock as I picked up my pace. I observed lustfully as he became closer and closer how his grip on the seat would tighten or how his pants from his open mouth became more rapid or how the gasps and groans or the twitches of his cock. Every little reaction drew my lust further to the surface, I wanted him inside me but I wanted to do this first. I wanted to cure the curiosity that had begun to bubble up inside me as to how he’d react to me ruining his orgasm. I found out shortly when he threw his head back preparing for his orgasm, I took my hands off before he could cum. “No, no, no ,no. Fuck-” He panted. “Lexie. Angel. Please.” He begged and wow did I love to hear it. And a side thought noted how he cursed, god he was disheveled. It only made it all the hotter. His hips buckled, desperate for any kind of friction from me. He moved his hand towards his cock. I grabbed it and laced my hand with his before he could finish what I started. He went to pull it from me, I held it tighter. “You did this to yourself.” He opened his previously shut eyes. His eyes found mine, wide and dilated pupils filled up to the brim entirely with lust. “What I did to you earlier wasn’t THAT bad.” He huffed out. I raised my eyebrow at him. “And what about every other time? Surely that has to add up.”

He sat up. “Lay back.” he gulped. “Please?” He added. He wouldn’t order me around, even if he may have wanted to. He almost did though. I was in for it now. Shit. I probably should just listen and try not to make it any worse. Yeah. Let's do that. I laid and leaned against the window in my previous position. He came towards me. He opened my legs with a glance my way making sure it was okay. I finished spreading my legs for him hoping it’d save me from whatever payback I got myself into. I leaned himself between my legs and brought his hands to the hem of my panties. I nodded knowing he’d probably be looking for some sort of affirmation that it was okay. He peeled them down and off me eagerly. He crawled closer to me and slid his dick through my folds. I gasped slightly at the feeling of him against my clit. When he’d decided he was wet enough he brought himself down to my entrance and looked up at me again. Making sure I was sure, like he always did. For the rest of the boys besides Zeke as our sex became casual and normal between us they didn’t worry about my consent so much. They knew I would stop them and my body language and eagerness was good enough. But Miles’ always made sure. I'm not entirely sure why. I think for the most part it’s because of how sweet and gentlemanly he was. Or maybe he was just like that. I brought myself out of my train of thought and nodded eagerly. He pushed me all at once. I felt my back arch as I let out a throaty moan. He pulled out and as he entered my again he thrust his hips up in a way he knew would hit my g-spot. I grabbed him and pulled him down towards me, needing something to hold onto. He rested his head in the crook of my neck. My arms wrapped around his neck as I held onto him desperately. He kept that motion up but soon began to become harder with it which just made me moan loader as my nails dug into his shoulder blade. I had a vague thought in the back of my mind through the haze of him telling myself I might’ve gotten out of payback and hoped he didn't stop as I neared my orgasm. I felt my muscles tense as that dam of pleasure inside me built further and further up producing moans just for ears and sweat on my skin just for him to feel as our bodies collided. Soon that dam overflowed and I shattered against him. I muffled my scream against his shoulder as I felt the rush of pleasure and the de-tensing of my muscles run through me.

But I didn’t feel the warm strings flow inside me like I usually did. A thought came through the haze of my orgasm; he didn’t cum with me? He always held himself back to cum with me. Was he not ready yet? That thought was quickly proven wrong as he chuckled against me and went harder, keeping that same motion that he knew would get me to an orgasm. My nails dug into harder as I came again, the pleasure feeling all the more intense in the wake and sensitivity of my previous orgasm. He was- “Ah!” A particularly hard snap of his hips cutting off all semblance of thought I had. He did it again. “F-f- Fuck!” I cried out against his shoulder. The car filled with the repetitive sound of slapping skin as he snapped his hips against me. I leaned up, holding onto him tighter. He leaned down more, I leaned back against the door again, no longer straining myself. “M-mi” My words got cut off by a moan. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t think. All I felt was pleasure and a new found sensitivity that made it almost unbearable. I felt myself tear up through the intensity of the pleasure. Soon I felt myself orgasming a third time. My whole body shook uncontrollably through it all as I held onto Miles’ for dear life. I vaguely registered a groan followed by a familiar warm stringy liquid inside me. My senses were too fried to pay it any attention, I was still shaking and I now noticed that I had begun to cry. At that moment Miles must’ve too because he leaned up some, close enough for me to still cling to him, immediately concerned and wiped my eyes. “D-di-- are you okay? Did you not want that?” I tried to talk as a part of my mind registered his question but only pants and babbles came out, my tongue too tied and my mind too fried to speak. He looked down at me, eyes filled to the brim with concern. “Did I go too far?” I shook my head since I couldn’t speak. He sighed in relief. “Are you okay?” nodded. I thought I was at least. I didn’t feel hurt, it was just intense.

He held me in his arms and somehow maneuvered us into a position to where I was lying on top of him. I didn’t know how I was too busy trying to learn how to speak again, or think really for that matter. I laid there on top of him for a while as one hand played with my hair and as the other slowly went up and down on my back in soothing motions. Shortly after the shaking stopped, everywhere besides my legs at least, I was calmed down enough to function properly again. I moved my head up and looked at him, “I’m okay.” knowing he had to still be worried after fucking me still I cried with little reassurance that I was okay. He met my eyes, his eyes were cloudy with worry. I smiled up at him, trying to show him I meant it. He smiled back down at me slightly. “Are you sure, Angel?” “Mhm.” I said happily in my after glow. “I didn’t mean to make you cry- ever I would never want to-” I cut him off “I know Nemo, really I’m okay. It was intense but good. I don’t even really think I wanted it to stop even if I were crying.” He sighed. “Are you sure?” I nodded and leaned up to kiss him. “I’m 100% sure Miles, really I’m fine. If anything you’re the one not okay.” He seemed to be satisfied and laid his head back down. I followed suit and laid back down on him, in between his bent legs in the cramped space. He resumed his previous movements. “I love you.” I smiled against his chest. “I love you too Miles.” Soon I felt my eyes fluttering shut and I let them. I wasn’t worried about it. I trusted Miles’ to make sure we got home safely, Rory already knew I was staying over there anyways so being late didn’t matter. I smiled as I let sleep take me as I floated happily in our love, my afterglow and his arms.

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Bad January Day

Possible tw?- Short descriptions of Lexie's flashbacks involving her PTSD due to Ordin.

I laid there on my side listening to the beeping of Zeke’s alarm with one leg draped over his hip as his grease-printed hand held the back of my lower thigh firmly enough to keep it there, to keep me from wiggling down in my sleep. The other hand was wrapped around my back, holding me close. My head was nuzzled into the little bridge in his neck. The hand on my thigh moved while the one around my back tightened, holding me to him to prevent from crushing me as he leaned forward. I heard a tap then the beeping stop, the alarm was off. Thank god. Now that he was done with the alarm he leaned back and moved into our previous position. “Lexie” He nudged. “Hmmm?” I responded. “C'mon we gotta get up Baby.” I groaned. It was comfy here, I wanted to stay. “Can we just stay?” I asked, considering giving him pouty eyes but that would mean moving. I decided against it but immediately regretted it as unwrapped himself from me and sat up and moved away, making sure not to loom. Ugh. I rolled onto my back, eyes still closed. “Why can’t we just stay?” I whined. I felt the weight on the side of the bed lift and peeked one eye open to see him, just in his boxers, grabbing his shirt and throwing it on, covering his back muscles. This morning just keeps getting ruined, I groaned again. I closed my eyes and rolled over, and went back to bed. I heard more rustling as I quickly drifted off.

I felt a nudge on my shoulder and knew it was Zeke trying to wake me again. I turned onto my side and ignored him. “Lexie, get up you’re going to be late.” “Good” I mumbled back, not really caring. I heard a sigh “What will you tell Rory?” I groaned as I rolled over onto my back, opening my eyes to see a very tall Zeke standing next to me, too tall. Normally it’d be fine but I'd been on edge lately, it was January again after all. I saw flashes of a man over me, Clay. It skipped to his hands on me, snow, a forest. Then it skipped back to him over me, I pushed it away. “Back up” I let out, my breathing fast. Zeke obeyed immediately then proceeded to drop to his knees and scoot closer to me again, knowing his height was the problem. He touched my cheek, “Are you here with me Baby?” I nodded, the remnants of the flashback was there. The panic feeling, the urge to scrub my skin to shreds amongst other things but the flashback itself was gone. I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at him. “I’m here.” His eyes wandered over my face, worried. I sat up “Zeke, I’m okay, really.” He nodded and looked away but he still seemed upset. I immediately knew it was at himself, that’s how Zeke was. I turned my body to face him, “Zeke look at me.” He looked up at me. “We’re gonna need to be more careful, all of us. Normally that distance would’ve been fine, we both know that. But the one year is coming up and it's getting to me which means bigger limits. You didn’t know Tough Guy we needed more space, so don’t go doing that blame yourself thing on me. Okay?” I could see the shadows in his eyes lift some as processed. “Okay.” He replied, his voice still deeper from sleep.

I sat up, my body feeling entirely too heavy. I remember this feeling. I remembered what came along with it too. The forcing myself to get out of bed and crying as I did so because it was just so hard. I remember the thoughts blaming myself for being so weak as to not be able to lift my own body out of bed. I remember the occasional times the guys would see me like that in the morning after it first happened, I remember the way they comforted me and tried to help even if it just meant Asher brushing my hair or Isaac helping me pick out my clothes because I didn’t have the energy to walk over to my closet or Ethan holding me close as I cried into him. I hoped it wasn’t this bad, I really did because as much as staying in bed sounded nice the idea of being confined to it due to lack of drive sounded horrible. I didn’t want to go back to where I was last year. I don’t want to rot in my bed, I don’t want to fear the outside world, I don’t want the constant flashbacks, I don’t want any of it. But I could already feel it happening. The heavy body in the morning, the cancelling plans to stay inside because it is just too overwhelming or the easier triggers. I knew they noticed too. I didn’t want them to be worried about me. I can manage on my own, although I know I don’t have to, I just- I guess I don’t want to cause them any kind of heartache or anxiety even though I know I could use their help through it, if it wasn’t for them last year I probably wouldn’t have gotten through it.

I pushed myself to stand up despite feeling this invisible weight on my shoulders just holding me down. I looked down at Zeke kneeling by the bed “I’m gonna get ready.” then turned back, put on shorts that I'd left on the floor last night, leaving me in them and my tank top then left the room walking towards the living room to grab my bag, yawning. I turned into the leaving room and leaned over the back of the couch to grab my bag. As I was leaning back up I heard a familiar voice right behind me say “Goodmorning.” then a kiss on my shoulder. Despite the warning I still jumped. God, I was on edge this morning. I turned around to see Miles’ with a concerned look in his eyes behind his glasses. I smiled at him. “Morning.” I slung my backpack around my shoulder and began to walk away hoping to avoid the conversation I was sensing was about to happen. I didn’t want to talk about it nor did I want them to worry. “Lexie?” He called. I stopped, silently cursing. “Yeah?” I asked, back still turned. “Are you okay?” I turned to him “I’m okay Miles. It’s just-” He interrupted me “bothering you more than usual?” I nodded. “I’m gonna go get ready” I turned around and headed down the hall towards the bathroom.

As I went to change I felt that weight on me again, I breathed trying to gain the motivation to do it. It didn’t go away. Crap. I decided to just push forward. Pulling down my shorts I bent down and unzipped my bag then grabbed my jeans out. I tried to put them on and as I did I began to tear up. This was way too hard than it should've been. It felt like my bones were rusted and everything I did took all the effort in the world when I had little motivation to even try. I took a breath and finished putting my jeans on. My mind began to reprimand me about how pathetic it was to almost cry putting some fucking jeans on before I took a deep breath and shut it out again, reminding myself that sometimes when you’re struggling it takes all you’re energy to just get by. I collected myself again before pulling off my tanktop and replacing it with a bra, while feeling entirely too drained and holding back tears from the effort. I pulled out my shirt while reminding myself about my responsibilities, I pulled on my shirt as a tear slipped. Fuck. I went to wipe it but it wouldn’t stop. I sat down on the bathroom floor trying to pull myself together so I could continue getting ready. I sat there silently crying, taking deep shaky breaths. Then I began having flashes again. I saw my old boots standing in snow with a hand that belonged to Ordin wrapped around my thigh. I pushed it away and began to focus on staying here and now using grounding techniques like naming 5,4,3,2,1 of things around me that related to each sense.

I must’ve taken too long because I heard Zeke outside the door telling me “Lexie you’re gonna be late.” I didn’t respond, he’d know that I was crying by my voice. He must’ve not liked my silence because he spoke again “Lexie are you okay in there?” Well, I couldn’t just not say anything. He’d come in here worried and see I was crying, I had a better chance with hoping my voice didn’t crack. “Yeah” my voice cracked. Shit. “Bullshit.” He called through the door. I chuckled slightly as I wiped snot from my nose. “Can I come in?” He asked softly. “Yeah” I replied. I turned my head to look at the door as it creaked open slowly. A broad shoulder peaked though followed by the rest of his body. He looked briefly for me then sat across from me leaning on the bathtub behind him as he saw me on the ground, knowing that his height with me sitting in such a small space wouldn’t be good for me. I looked up at him and watched as he frowned at the tears running down my face. I wiped them, wanting them to stop, they didn’t. At least I wasn’t sobbing. “C’mere baby.” He told me, probably because he knew touch always made me feel better. I semi- got up onto my knees and sort of crawled to him on just my knees. As I got to him he motioned for me to sit in the space in between his knees, I did and leaned against his chest. “This okay?” His rough morning voice asked me. I nodded. He wrapped his arms around me holding me closer. “Is there anything I can do- or that any of us can do?” He said as his thumb went back and forth on my arm in a comforting motion. I took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears “No just be here.” He nodded. “We don’t have to go to school. Why don’t we stay here? I’m sure Rory will understand. We can turn on some shitty zombie movies with some popcorn. “ I smiled, that sounded nice. “Okay” my voice cracked again. He moved his hand and wiped my tears. “C,mon stop that baby, I’ve got you.” I gave a small laugh, he hated when I cried but he’d never let me be alone when I did. I leaned further back against him, savoring this loving warmth surrounding me, trying to stop crying again. It worked, thank god. I wiped my face again, getting rid of all the wetness and snot. I sat up straighter and turned around to face him. I smiled up at him before getting up on my knees and wrapping my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back. “Thank you” I mumbled into his neck that I was nuzzled into. He pulled back and I followed suit. “Anytime, now get up and out so I can get off the bathroom floor.” I chuckled at that and thought about torturing him by forcing him to stay but decided against it seeing how I wouldn’t want to ruin my zombie movie day.

As I stepped out the door I saw Miles’ grab his bag from the hallway. As he opened the door he yelled “I’m leaving! Hurry up or you’ll be late.”. I went to say something about not going today but then he was gone. I shrugged he’d figure it out when we didn’t show up. I backed up from the bathroom door as Zeke approached it so he wouldn’t loom over me while leaving. He exited and began walking towards the living room, I followed. I watched as he grabbed the remote off the couch cushion and turned on the tv and put on Netflix. He sat on the couch and I followed suit, getting close to him wanting cuddles. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to his side. I frowned, this was nice but I wanted more. I glanced at him as I climbed onto his lap, my back against his chest again, making sure it was okay. He wrapped his arm around me and laid his head on mine as a familiar zombie movie he’d turned on began to play. I smiled, this- this was nice. This is what I needed. I needed the loving touch to replace the corrupted ones, I needed the kind words instead of the harsh ones trying to claim me, I needed the familiarity and love of my family. I reached behind us grabbing the throw blanket from the back of the couch and adjusted it around us, content to stay like this as long as I needed to get through this bad January day.

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Summoning

One-off of Mika summoning Sam to save her- Possible TW

As I exited the café, I heard the jingling of the bells located above my head. At that moment I turned back to glance at the glass panes on the eatery’s door.  As I did, I gave a small wave goodbye to Suzu. After my small farewell, I turned my gaze back towards the road, awaiting my Uber. I felt bad for leaving our outing early, but I wanted to see Sam. But I mean could you blame me? He’s been extremely busy with work lately.  Constantly working late into the night, most of the time in which I’m already asleep. We’ve barely seen each other. And today was like any other: him leaving for work bright and early. That meant that I was alone for the day. I figured tonight would be like any other work night for him recently. So instead of staying by myself all day, I made plans with Suzu. It had been a while since we had hung out anyways. 

Suzu and I met promptly at The Pink Lady Café at 7:00pm. We had been chatting, joking, laughing and basically having an all around good time until about 7:45. When suddenly something in my back pocket buzzed. I immediately recognized what the buzzing was coming from, and swiftly grabbed my phone from my back pocket. I unlocked it to a message from Sam “ Hey, doofus. I’ll be home early today. Hopefully…at about 7. Have you eaten? “ I slightly smiled not only because he always made sure my needs were met before his but also just from seeing his name pop up in my notifications. My mind began to trail off... “It’s crazy how much I love him. Come on, who am I kidding? I love him so much it almost hurts.” I thought. I continued to let my thoughts linger for just a moment longer before I quickly opened my messages and replied “ Sorry! I have… but feel free to get whatever, I'll try to be home soon. Love you <3” 

And that’s how the story of a very frightening night began: Me wanting to go home to my loving incubus, while waiting for my ride home during a typical chilly night. As I stood under the streetlights outside the Pink Lady Cafe my phone buzzed. I looked down to see a notification “Your uber has arrived.” I began to look around for a grey prius. I quickly spotted it, and made my way closer to the edge of the sidewalk in anticipation to get home. It speedingly pulled up to me and I watched as the passenger window rolled down it’s window. As I peered in the car, I saw a man in his late 30’s , unshaven, and looked to be an all around slob. But before I could consciously think about his disheveled appearance, a skeptical voice spoke up “ Are you Mika?” I nodded and he motioned towards the backseats in his car, silently instructing me to go in the back seat. I obviously obliged. I pulled on the car door and quickly sat down and buckled up. 

During the ride, I kept noticing how he would glance at something in the rear view mirror. I just told myself he was looking at what was on the road behind us. But I quickly began to realize he wasn’t looking at the road, he was looking at me. Once I noticed this, I told myself that it's a little out of place but not something to be frightened about. Yet I remained cautious. I averted my eyes from the window to the driver's seat. As I did I really began to take in his looks. My gut began screaming that something was wrong. Yet, I tried to remain calm, I just kept telling myself I was overreacting. When my thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the lack of movement, the car had stopped. My eyes began to dart around my surroundings to figure out why. They immediately checked the traffic, no red lights, no stop signs, no pedestrians, there was no reason for us to be stopped. That’s when it went from just my gut screaming at me but also the alarms in my head. Then I heard a voice, and my eyes darted towards it. In less than a second I pinpointed where the voice was coming from. The driver's seat. I looked at the man sitting in the seat as he spoke “We’re out of gas... “ followed by a seemingly forced sigh. My foreboding feeling throughout my body was growing more intense by the second. Almost unbearable. I decided to get out of the car, if something were to happen I didn’t want to be stuck in such a small space with little room to defend myself. 

The driver followed suit, and leaned against his car about 8 inches away from me. I tried to brush it off as him just getting out to see what he could do. Though I did instinctively take a couple steps further away from him. He was leaning on the back seat’s window while I stood in front of the passenger window. I took a quick glance at him then took out my phone to text Sam. “Hey, it may take a bit longer. The uber ran out of gas. I should be home soon, hopefully.” While I was busy looking down at my phone, I failed to notice the driver sidle up beside me. As I looked up I flinched, clearly shocked to see him so close. But before I could shift my legs to move further down the car away from him: He gripped onto my raven hair and in just mere second covered my mouth. Preventing me from both getting away and screaming for help. He began to drag me forward towards an alleyway, I squirmed desperately trying to get away. I kicked and hit, which was returned by my hair being pulled harder towards the alley-way. I could feel the hot fearful tears run down my face. Everything was happening so fast I couldn’t even think. 

As we entered the alley-way he roughly pushed me onto the ground. Now towering over me. I looked up at him to see a wicked smile. A smile you’d see in a horror movie. He slowly began to walk towards me as I began to desperately crab crawl away. But was abruptly stopped by my back crashing into a big metal trash can. He was getting closer, my mind still racing with fear and panic. I couldn’t think straight. Instinctively my arms began to rummage around for things to defend myself. I didn’t find anything! I began to look harder for anything: metal, glass.. ANYTHING. It didn’t help that it was almost impossible to see through my blurred eyes and hard to feel with my trembling hands. As I was looking around frantically Sam popped into my mind. As he did sensible thoughts began to fester. Within seconds I heard myself call out “Aomaris!” 

Within a mere seconds the frantic air had changed into a serene state shortly followed by a bright light. I quickly covered my eyes with my shoulder, waiting for the light to disperse. As the light died, I looked up from my arms to see Sam and his shocked expression. I watched as his eyes darted around looking for me, and when he found me his eyes went gold for a mere second before turning back to their original emerald green hue. HIs gaze had only lasted a second before being interrupted by a scarily familiar voice “What the HELL?”

Sam immediately tracked down the voice to the man, now shaken to his core. But before Sam could let his rage take over the man had run. Sam stood in place for several seconds, internally fighting all of his instincts to go after the guy. Once he had made up his mind on what he should do, he had appeared in front of me within a millisecond. He immediately wrapped me in his arms, petting my hair in an effort to calm me. I laid my head on his chest tightly gripping the green shirt under his vest. I tried not to cry, but I couldn’t help it. He must have known because I heard him mumble in my ear “Shh...it’s okay. Let it out..” 

And I did, I broke down. I sobbed so hard my voice became hoarse and quivered so much you’d think that there was an earthquake. But Sam didn’t let up, just pulled me closer to his chest. My sounds were swallowed by his green t-shirt. I could feel his warmth despite the cold metal of his dog tag pressed against my cheek. I still don’t know how long we sat in that alley way. I do know that overtime my weeping had slowled, and he used that as an opportunity to get us home. Sam made the executive decision to go through a pentagram. I felt him take a smidget of energy from me. I didn’t fight it, why would I? I could feel myself slowly falling through the ground. I knew what he was doing, he didn’t have to say it. Within a second I felt myself now sitting on the stone steps located in front of my home. 

He slowly let go of his grip around me and gently took my hand in his before standing both of us. He had a grip on my waist making sure to keep me steady, since he was still unaware if I was injured. Though when he was sure I was secure on the ground he slowly let go. I watched as he felt around his pockets until he found his keys. I watched as he took them from the inside of his vest and used them to unlock our front door. As the door swung open he again gently gripped onto my hand, guiding me inside. 

As I passed through the door letting it swing shut naturally, I took in the familiar smell of my air refresher still plugged into the wall. Sam looked back at me, I could tell he was concerned, but he wasn’t going to show it. I looked up at him beginning to wonder what was going through his mind. Sam’s complicated to say the least. It’s hard for him to express himself, so usually I speak up first. And I did.  “Are you okay?” Sam looked deeper into my eyes, probably wondering if I was seriously asking him if HE was okay... I was correct. He quickly conveyed his feelings to me on the situation “ You’re asking me if I’m okay?” he responded sarcastically. I stood still waiting for him to continue on. “Seriously?” He scoffed. I stood there taken back by his tone. “He could have hurt you! Why’d you wait that long to summon me!? “ 

His voice was now significantly raised and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. I mean was he practically screaming it. He was mad, not at me but at himself. I knew that he  probably didn’t even notice his temper. “Sam..” I mumbled. Even in his self-loathing state he was still able to give me his undivided attention. He aimed his stare towards me. I used this as an opportunity to make him aware of the level of his voice. “Sam…” I began, while fidgeting with my hands. He still stared, waiting for me to finish. “Sam.. you’re kinda-sorta yelling…”

He looked down and pressed his two fingers against the bridge of his nose while simultaneously letting out a heavy sigh. I looked down to my fingers still fidgeting with them. But my gaze was soon steadily placed on him by the sound of his voice. “I...I d-didn’t mean to yell at you like that.. It’s just who knows what that DICK…” he took a moment to calm himself before continuing.  “ bag would’ve done to you.” He looked up at me then breathed heavily out his nose, as if he was letting off steam. I slowly made my way towards him and gingerly wrapped my arms around his neck while gently pecking him on his lips in an effort to calm him down. 

He let out a content sigh and wrapped his arms around my waist. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he didn’t know how to say it. I lifted my head to look up to his emerald green irises. He returned the gesture and proceeded to look deeply in my eyes, as if they would help formulate the words he had trapped inside his head. 

He took a breath in signalling to me that he was going to speak.  His eyes lingered a bit longer before looking down to the floor as if in shame. Then he spoke... “ I’m sorry for yelling at you, I-I didn’t mean to… I just… “ He nuzzled his head on my shoulder shortly followed by a muffled voice. “ I just want to protect you..” I removed my arms from around his broad shoulders, and instead wrapped them around his form and placed my head on the crook of his neck. His arms wrapped around me tighter and I happily returned the gesture.

“Sam… you do protect me.” He lifted his head to look at me. “Do I?” I simply just stared back at him thinking out my words carefully before speaking “Sam, of course you protect me. Tonight could have been so much worse if it wasn’t for you. Mmm-kay, you hear me? You DO protect me, I have no doubt in that.” He sighed and removed his hands from my waist and instead took one of my hands. Which confused me. 

“Hm?” I shot him a curious look. “Come doofus it’s getting late, let’s get you to bed.” I glanced at the clock on the wall and then cocked my head at my incubus. “What? “ He said amused. I responded teasingly “Since when do you go to bed at 8:30?” He shrugged “Maybe I’m just tired.” I looked at him closer, trying to see if he was joking or if he was actually tired. As I inspected him I came to realize he probably was tired, and I suddenly felt bad for him having to use his energy to save me. But I quickly shut those thoughts out. 

“Long day? “ I replied empathetically. He simply nodded tiredly. I sighed contently then said “ Then let’s go to sleep, dork.” He dramatically rolled his eyes before chucking.  Still hand in hand he began to walk and I happily  complied to follow behind. As we reached my bedroom we both silently agreed to change before heading to bed. We both began to strip from our day clothes back to each other. I turned my head slightly to look over my shoulder.

As I did I found myself admiring a very muscley back. And at that moment I thought “damn he’s ripped” . And I mean ripped. At that moment he finished changing and turned back to look at me, and as he did I immediately turned my head away from him, I could feel the way my face had heated up from being caught. I hurried up and tried to get dressed to prevent myself from becoming a blushing mess. As I slipped my shirt on, I heard a snicker behind me- along with a familiar sound of ruffling sheets. As I was done getting dressed by then I turned around to further inspect the noise. 

I turned around to see Sam in bed, comfortable under the covers. He flashed me a goofy grin and motioned for me to join him. I quickly accepted his invitation. As I laid down next to him he put his arm and me. I eagerly laid my head on his chest, resting my hand in the same place. Soon enough his breathing slowed, signaling to me he had fallen asleep, and before I knew it I followed after.

[burnwme]

Wings

A small smut one-off from the Fated Wings series. 

I could see the soft moon lights glow on the walls. It was dark despite it only being 8:00, winter’s like that. I also noted that winters are very cold as I cuddled closer into my loving angel’s warmth. We were laying on our sides. I was laying on one of his arms while the other was wrapped around my waist, holding me close. I had both of my hands in the small space between us, resting soundly on his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall as he breathed. His eyes were closed, but I knew he wasn’t asleep. 

We just laid there peacefully in each other's arms, enjoying the simplicity of being near each other in such a way. We didn’t need to talk to enjoy our time together, feeling each other's warmth as we cuddled was perfectly fine for tonight. As I laid there I observed his features in the soft moonlight shining through the windows behind the headboard. He looked so… perfect. I began to admire him. Everything about him. His dark hair, his jawline , his broad shoulders, his full lips, his long eyelashes… just everything about him. 

But if you’re one of the lucky ones that know that Damon's is an angel then you know that you can’t admire him without admiring his wings as well, whether they’re visible or not. His wings are a very notable part of him and like everything else about him, they're absolutely stunning. Currently his wings are put away, but that doesn’t stop my mind from wandering to what they look like. 

My mind automatically goes back to the time when I first saw them, in my bedroom. I touched them without really thinking and when I backed off to ask if it was okay he told me they were -sensitive-. Even though I completely got what he meant by that I didn’t back down. I was intrigued by them to say the least. So I stroked them, watching the black feathers with silver specks flutter beneath my touch. 

Suddenly I heard myself say “Your wings are so pretty.” I had just been thinking. Did I really just say my thoughts out loud? By the way his emerald eyes met mine, I'm gonna say I did. He chuckled slightly and gave me a questioning look as if saying “What makes you say that so suddenly?” I gave him a shy smile and let out a quiet “Sorry I was just thinking out loud…” He leaned down towards me... until our lips we’re only an inch apart before speaking “So are yours baby, prettiest wings i’ve ever seen.” He then went to seal the space between our lips but before he could my wings popped out at a mere mention of them. I swear those things of a mind of their own. 

I titled my head down bashfully as the sudden occurrence. He merely chucked and slightly brushed his hand along some of my feathers. In response I involuntarily shivered and let out a small shy laugh. I knew by that point my face must have been majorly red, both from being flustered and embarrassed. Damon on the other hand was perfectly composed. I guess that’s what happened with thousands of years of experience. I know that I’ve probably had plenty of sex throughout my lives. But this body certainly doesn't show it. Damon continued to brush along my feathers and almost teasingly asked me

 “How come you're getting so flustered?” I titled my head up to meet his eyes and responded 

“Well… I’ve never really had my wings touched like this...” 

He stopped stroking them. He looked at me almost… shocked?  “Really?” 

I merely responded “Yeah.. really. I’ve only figured out about these recently.” I said motioning towards my backside. 

If I was reading his expression correctly he looked happily shocked. “I figured one of the guys would have by now… considering you first got them when we were arguing. I thought you would have showed them off and well… you know”

He thought Beckham or Mason would have touched them first because I  discovered them while I was kidnapped. And when we got back me and him weren’t talking since I slept with Beckham... I felt a pang of guilt at that. Wing stuff is probably important to him. Touching them is probably something he wanted first and assumed that since he wasn’t around one of the others did. He shouldn’t have to share. He shouldn’t have to think that he missed his chance to be the first to touch my wings... “Hey.” A soft voice brought me out of my thoughts. “Don’t go there. It’s fine... Besides I get to be the first to touch your wings like this. So don’t go around feeling guilty.” I peeked up and our eyes met in moonlight.

He broke our eye contact by glancing down at my lips. I automatically swiped my tongue across them anticipating a kiss. He glanced down again and I did the same. God his lips were right there… practically begging to be meshed with mine but I stayed put. He then began to tilt his head and move down towards me...closer… and closer until finally his lips met mine. The kiss was slow and yet it still managed to reach all the way down to my core, igniting the heat below my navel once more. As we kissed he tenderly began to stroke my wings again causing a moan to elicit from my lips only to be muffled by his. Hearing the effect he had on me his lips curled into a small smile, our faces only centimeters apart. 

I let out a shy laugh and went to kiss him again but he moved back. I met his eyes, surprised as to why he would deny me a kiss. He had a teasing smile on his face and I instantly relaxed knowing I didn’t do something wrong. But then I became suspicious. What was he up to? He began caressing my wings once more with a tad more pressure which added to the pleasure. Figures. He’s going to tease me using my wings. I bit my lip in an effort to hold back a moan. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, he was cheating. Instead the noise came out of my nose. He let out a small laugh at my feeble attempt to hide how good it felt to have his hands roaming my body like this. As he leaned down towards my ear I felt his breath dance on top of my skin then “Hmm what baby? Does it feel good? Or should I try harder?” he teased. I was only able to let out a small whimper to that comment not only from his husky tone but also from how he did actually try harder. No matter how loud I got he just relentlessly teased me, clearly enjoying the control he had over my body. 

Not long had this amazing kind of torture started before I came trembling in Damon's arms. He pulled me closer to him. Needing something to hold onto, I grabbed a handful of his shirt. As I shuddered in his embrace he ran his hands up and down my arms, comforting me as I came down from my high. 

As my breathing finally evened again I lifted my head from his chest and gave a light peck on the lips, he smiled. He looked down at me, kissed my forehead and nuzzled my head back into his chest. I heard him whisper in such a soft voice filled to the brim with love “Goodnight baby.”  “Goodnight” I whispered back as I retracted my wings and fell into a peaceful slumber within his warm embrace. 

[burnwme]

I’m gonna repost all my old fanfiction from my old tumblr before I deactivated it :)

[burnwme]

Masterlist! :)

Last Updated: 6/21/21

Works: 5

The Veil Diaries 

Fluff: 

Miles Huntington & Lexie viewing a pink moon together- Pink Moon

Hurt & Comfort:

Lexie’s PTSD acting up & Zeke helps -Bad January Day

Smut:

Miles Huntington & Lexie Viewing a pink moon together- Pink Moon Alternate Smut Ending

Fated Wings

Smut:

One Off smut of Damon- Wings

Seduce me the Otome

Angst: 

Sam saves Mika- Summoning

[burnwme]

Pink Moon

A small fluff one-off featuring Miles Huntington from The Veil Diaries series. 

We were lying back on Miles’ trunk during dusk looking at the few stars that had begun to appear. Our backs slightly raised due to the rise of the rear windshield leading into the rest of the car. Our legs were hanging off of the closed truck of the car. He had parked the car in a random field just outside of town. He said he wanted to show me something. I figured it was something important if he bothered to switch date nights with Ethan. It was spring out and at night it made it a little chilly, leaving goosebumps running up and down my arms despite my sweater. Miles’ noticed, he always did, he got up and before I could say anything asking why he opened the back door and pulled out a black blanket decorated with constellations. He hopped back onto the back of the car then proceeded to cover us both before lying back again. I looked over at him. It had been quiet between us. Not a bad quiet but instead a type of light and loving quiet. A “we don’t need to talk to enjoy this moment together” type of quiet. But I was still curious about what he wanted to show me.

So I asked “Miles?” “Hmm?” He turned to look at me. I met his eyes “What did you want to show me?” He turned his gaze back towards the sky above us “There’s supposed to be a pink moon tonight.” I looked back towards the sky now, my gaze searching for the moon. “A pink moon?” “Yes Angel '' he replied. “And it only shows up tonight. That's why we had to switch if I wanted to experience it with you. “ He continued. My eyes had found the moon. It wasn’t pink. “It’s not pink? Like we’re talking to color here right? Not some sciencey term” I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke next “It might not be, more of a tint.” I looked at him again, wanting to get my talkative, not-so-nervous and cautious when he speaks Miles. “Why is it going to pink?” He turned his head to face me, his eyes lighting up with excitement to talk about his interests and to have someone listen. “Well” He began. “We get about two super moons a year. Super moons are when the moon is closer to the horizon and when it’s closer to the horizon light has to travel through more of the Earth's atmosphere allowing it to take on more of a tinge of orange or red especially if there’s pollution. Kind of how the sky takes on the ocean's color, making it blue '' It took my mind for a second to really grasp it but once I did I said “Oh” and turned to look back at the sky. But I missed him talking “Can you tell me more?”

And he did. He began to talk about things like “moon illusion” and how if added with an eclipse it’d make it tinge even more red due to “light filtering”. Once he couldn’t tell me more, so he began to point at the stars we could see so far and tell me the constellations they were a part of. I listened to him talk for maybe an hour asking questions occasionally until he pointed at the moon in front of us “Look.” he said gently. My eyes followed his arm up to his hand to where he was pointing, the moon. It was a pinkish-orangish color. It was pretty. I sat up hoping to get a better look, Miles followed suit. I scooted closer to him, wanting cuddles. He gladly accepted the invitation and wrapped his arm around me pulling me closer till I was leaning against him. “It’s pretty” I said as I breathed in his wintergreen scent. “Yeah it is.” He looked down at me. Both of us feeling the romance of the moment we leaned in, we kissed. It was soft, slow and sweet under the color altered moonlight. My heart felt light, airy and entirely happy. I hoped he felt the same. And when we pulled back, both of us slightly out of breath, he told me he did with a gentle voice “I love you.” and at that moment I did too. It wasn’t the first time we said it, it wouldn’t be the last. But mixed with the romance of the moment and his gentle tone it made it entirely more meaningful in my heart. I looked up into his eyes through the lens of his glasses and told him in a loving tone of my own “I love you too Miles... always”. He gave me a gentle smile before kissing the tip of my nose. Then he laid us back down against the rear windshield, both of us content for the night to lie there under the light of the pink moon in each other’s arms surrounded by our love.

[burnwme]

so i made Miles in the sims. the hair isn’t exactly correct nor are the eyes. (making male sims look nice is so damn hard!) i’ll probably redo his eyes but for now this is the closest I got for now :)