butteranon

[butteranon]

[butteranon]

Fellow anon. Why do you deceive yourself like this? Do you not understand the importance of our laws, the wisdom behind our ways? Our god is not false; and there is no way to prove otherwise. Look at us. We serve as Lord Butter's prophets, spreading the ways of butter, and therefore, the truth.

And look at yourself. You worship a buttered potato. Without butter, your so called god would not even exist. Stop making a fool of yourself and open your eyes to the truth, fellow anon.

All who oppose shall fall, Pokemonmasterleaf and the Butter Anon's shall be first.

The Butter Anons are an organization that wish to create an age ruled by a false god. They have made laws saying that spreading butter is cruel. They shall be the one of the first to fall.

Pokemonmasterleaf has failed to accept our lord and savior the Buttered Potato. For that, she must die aswell.

All hail the Buttered Potato, and those who do not shall die!!!

[butteranon]

Look at the blog 'butteredpotatoanon' if you dare fools.

This is blasphemy. They claim that we have a false god, yet they worship a potato? How laughable. We, the butter anons, will ensure that those fools will see the truth.

[butteranon]

Oh, did you say -not- to spread butter all over toast? Whoopsie~!

Sir, we will inform you right now that that is butter cruelty. This goes against butter law, and we will have to revoke your butter privileges. You must understand that only the worthy may experience the coming of Lord Butter.

[butteranon]

butter liberation

That is one of the goals we are working for. What of it, sir?

[butteranon]

YOU CANT RESTRICT THE BUTTER IN MY FRIDGE. WE ARE GOING TO BE HAPPILY MARRIED XOXO

Sir, we do not discriminate against butter marriages, and as a matter of fact we fully support butter rights. However, the butter you are to be wed to is not the same as the butter here. We will ask you again that you refrain from touching it.

[butteranon]

Wait wait wait, so if we can't use butter... can we use vodka?

Sir or ma'am, let it be known to you that this is not the kind of establishment to be asking such things. Please direct your inquiries elsewhere.

[butteranon]

Are Milktank gods because they provide things needed for butter?

Not necessarily. However, there is a branch of butterism that regards them as such, though the majority regard only Lord Butter as their lord and savior. Even so, we will respect the religious preferences of those in our ranks.

[butteranon]

Can we use butter instead of lube?

We genuinely hope that this visual is enough to have you understand that the answer is a definite ‘no’.

Please do not use butter for such purposes.

[butteranon]

Is Reshiram bad too since it makes fire?

Reshiram, as well as the rest of the Fire-type Pokemon, are not considered ‘bad’ because they do not purposely spit heat and flames everywhere, unlike Team Magma. However, we do realize that there are always exceptions to this, as well as the fact Fire-types are known for being a bit more on the rowdy side. Rest assured, they will be taken care of once our plans come to fruition.

[butteranon]

not you. the butter. //hugs the butter//

Sir, we will ask that you please do not touch the butter. Every stick is essential to the Butter Revolution, and we conserve every one. You may only be granted access to it if you are a butter anon.

[butteranon]

Can we kill those who do not accept butter?

Fellow anon, we ask that you please be civil. We are not an organization that condones such violence. We will attempt to convince people to see the truths of butter and the Butter Revolution, but we make it an effort to not use force. Those who will not accept Lord Butter as their lord and savior shall simply have to deal with the consequences they bring upon themselves.

[butteranon]

have i ever told you how beautiful you are?

We do not know which butter anon this compliment is directed to. Please specify, and the message will be delivered. However, if you wish to ensure the accuracy and promptness of it, we suggest that you join our ranks as a butter anon and deliver the message yourself.

[butteranon]

So where is the form I have to fill out to join?

Fellow anon, there is no form. We do not need such trivial paperwork; and even if we did, the papers and pens would constantly slip out of our butterfingers.

All you need to do to become one of us and support the revolution is to target a candidate’s inbox and inform them of the Butter Revolution, and also propose for them to join our cause. 

Now make us proud, fellow anon. We look forward to hearing your results.

[butteranon]

smart balance

Apologies, sir, but we do not understand what you mean by this ‘smart balance’ you speak of. Is it relevant to the Butter Revolution? Could you perhaps elaborate on its meaning?

[butteranon]

[butteranon]

A PSA: presented by an anonymous butter anon

This is a butter anon speaking on behalf of the butter society. 

This is butter. I'll just say that right now, in case you can't read. Naturally, though, I assume that you can, since everything I say is text. Moving on.

This, ladies, gents, and whatever else you identify yourselves as, is a stick of salted butter. It's different from regular butter as it has salt in it. Please do not be discriminative of either. If we made the perfect butter society, only to have butterists in it, that'd ruin the point, wouldn't it?

THIS IS BUTTER CRUELTY. Just imagine yourself in that position. Eugh. Enough said.

Cats are what sells these days, right? And yes, I know I just talked about butter cruelty. No, I am not being a hypocrite. That slice of butter is clearly resting very comfortably on that piece of toast. Not every single piece of toast is abusive, after all. What, are we gonna have to fight for toast equality next?

Seriously though, please don't discriminate against toast either. We really don't want to say, 'Don't tell the toast guy.' Please.

Anyway, here's the end of my little presentation. Thanks for reading, I guess. Hail Lord Butter and drive safe.