bywhie - Tumblr blog

[bywhie]

5 months post op...

I went to target to get new..smaller leggings. Of course I left with so much more. Buuut..I was able to wear a size large t-shirt (previously a xxl) and size 16 jeans. And not plus size size 16, which are wider and the waist is mostly elastic. A normal pair of jeans. Used to wear a 22 and was moving into 24 before surgery. So excited!! I have to start buying new clothes because everything is way too big. Even the smaller clothes I saved. Too big. I feel better. I don't have to take as many breaks when walking. I'm not out of breath when I climb the stairs. I don't have migraines as often Andy back pain hasn't been as bad. Still need to get better with exercising and building muscle and water intake. Should be getting 64 oz but I typically get 50 or 55 oz a day. Still the best decision I couldve made.

HW:300lbs

SW:276lbs

CW:211lbs

GW:180lbs

[bywhie]

Probably isn't the most healthy lunch but some rice noodles and broccoli with garlic sauce from the local Chinese food spot. 3 pieces of broccoli and some noodles. Yes that's my firestick remote so you can see how small this bowl is. I used to be able to eat a pile of Chinese food in a night. Not anymore. After this I was so full amd wanted to take a nap lol. I dont feel like I am missing out either. I may think I want more because it tastes good but my body tells me I am full and the smell of food after that makes me sick.

Normally I eat chicken or shrimp as a protein and a mix of veggies and potatoes. Or protein pasta, tomato sauce and some meatballs (2) from publix. Me and dairy don't get along much so no alfredo or creamy sauces unfortunately. I still don't like eggs lol. Weird.

No more chewable pills...thank goodness. Still struggling with getting 64oz of liquid a day but im getting much better day by day. I can climb stairs without being out of breath and none of my clothes fit like they used to. Still the best decision I have ever made!!!! All the struggles are worth it. 75lbs down 4onths post op.

[bywhie]

3 months post op

Sorry I went MIA lol. But this is not an easy journey. They say the first month is the hardest and I agree. I am lucky to have the support from family and friends that I have. BUT..that second month really did a number on me. I wasn't getting enough liquids or food throughout the day so I had less energy. Which I ate even less because I didn't "feel" hungry and I didn't have the energy to get off the couch and make something to eat. I also wasn't tolerating a lot of food. So I stuck to soups and water. I was stuck in a cycle of wanting to eat because I knew I had to, not having energy to make anything because I hadn't eaten all day, then feeling sick because I wasn't drinking enough fluids. Smh

I became very depressed. And I still struggle because I wish I could eat "normal" and not have to take 30 mins to eat or can have a piece of publix chicken lol. My birthday was 8/2 and this is my first birthday without a cake. I am a cake enthusiast lmao. But...I have to remember the ultimate goal...better quality of life in the long run. I have lost 70lbs so far. I haven't been cleared to work out yet because of my hydration issues BUT I go for my 3 month visit on the 19th and hopefully they give me the ok.

None of my pants fit. Most of my clothes are too small. Thankfully I held onto a few things because it felt good putting on a dress I haven't been able to wear in years. Also my niece told me I looked like a rapper from 2006 with my baggy pants. I can go up and down stairs a lot faster and I'm not as winded. I can fit comfortably in booths when I go out. All good things. I am able to eat more and can tolerate a lot of things. I have cravings but I am noticing it's more habits than anything. When I'm sad..I order food. So I'm trying to find things to occupy my mind to keep me from mindlessly eating. It's easier when you don't feel hungry. I can drink a protein shake and then feel pretty full or satisfied. Especially while working from home...its difficult but not impossible.

All in all...best decision I ever made.

Starting weight: 300lbs

Goal weight: 220

Current weight: 238

[bywhie]

2 weeks post op

So it's been almost 2 weeks since surgery. I still have a lot of stomach pain. They gave me hard painkillers for 3 days and then it was me and muscle relaxers. I SHOULD have been taking liquid Tylenol (children's Tylenol) but I am an actual toddler when it comes to liquid medicine. I will spit it out and act like I'm dying lol. But the pain is getting really tough so in order for me to move around more I need it. I was able to walk the first week but not a lot. A friend is still staying with me to help. Which is so nice....and fun. Since I've left the hospital I've been in the pureed stage (okay'd by nutritionist.) So pudding, soupy oatmeal, soupy/ blendarized grits and mashed potatoes. Which is fine bc I eat 2 bites and I'm done. I have been slacking with vitamins so I will pick up a new brand this week. Premier cinnamon roll protein drink is absolute heaven but it's way sweeter than the others. Im super excited bc in 2 days I move on to soft food phase. So deli meats, ground meats, normal grits, scrambled eggs and thinly sliced bread. I get to have a sandwich and I'm so excited. Definitely making spaghetti lol. Gonna play around with pasta alternatives but....I can't wait.

[bywhie]

3 Days post-op

Goodness gracious what have I done lol. I tell myself I can normally deal with pain pretty well. But this stomach pain is the absolute worst. Surgery was Tuesday and they were able to do it laproscopicly. Everything went well. I have about 6 incision sites. Those don't hurt...its the muscle pain for me lol. If women feel this after giving birth I am NOT having kids lol. They kept me overnight. Gave me lots of pain meds and muscle relaxers. A friend of mine is staying with me to help. While she is at work I have cousins and aunts taking turns stopping by. If you don't have a support person and your insurance covers it...may want to consider having someone come help. Luckily I have reached max deductible but please discuss any and all options with your insurance company. I do need to get chewable Vitamins and gas x pills because they blow air into your body and all of that gas being stuck in your body can hurt worse than anything. Doctor has me out of work for 4 weeks minimum and now I think that's a great idea..although I think I will ask for an additional 4 weeks just because...me and my job aren't getting along very well right now. They want me to work all day and I could use a long nap in the middle of the day.

Seriously, after the first few days, the pain starts to subside a little and it's all up from here...hopefully lol. I'm still in some pain. I feel a tearing feeling in my right abdomen and I have emailed the Dr to see if its normal. So I'll share more later. Time for an after breakfast nap. Sorry it's a little all over the place....ill post again soon. Just so many things.

[bywhie]

Down 23 pounds!!

May not seem like much to some but I was 300lbs 2 or 3 months ago. The surgeon wanted me to lose 20-25lbs by surgery. Which is also why he wanted me on this liquid diet for 3 weeks. I realizedy will power is a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for. That's what I am proud of...so far. Also I looked in my binder and 2-3 weeks after surgery I can have grits and I am so stinking excited!!! I miss rice but I will settle for grits lol. Happy Saturday everyone!!! 3 more sleeps until surgery!!!

[bywhie]

Took a little break Wednesday. Drove down to a friend's beach condo and worked from there on Thursday and took a personal day today. It was hard not to break the diet but my friends are rooting for me and wouldn't let me. They didn't hide their snacks but we had so much fun lounging around and watching movies that I didn't notice. Had a panic attack the other day and was still feeling super anxious so...a nice break. Please remember self care isn't just skin care and shopping. Sometimes you need to go on a walk...a drive...a day trip...go to the zoo idk lol. Take some time for yourself. Amyways...some pics from the balcony.

[bywhie]

1 week down....2 more to go!!

The first 2 or 3 days were the hardest. I was very irritable and snippy lol. Doesn't help I work customer service and I'm constantly talking to people trying to belittle me every day lol. Not going to lie, I just got back from picking up a target order (don't want to walk around grocery stores,) and almost stopped at chick fil a. Whew But I persevered lol. Now that it's been a week, the shakes aren't as terrible and I've gotten used to eating only 800 calories a day. I tried to make eggs as an approved substitute for 1 shake and they didn't even taste the same.

For the shakes I have vanilla which is pre-made and I'm tiny cartons and chocolate which is powdered. Gotta blend for atleast 30 seconds. I recommend cold water or adding ice. The vanilla flavor in the pre-made shake is so strong and makes it taste awful. I dont eat fruit so I didn't get the strawberry flavor. Welp...2 more weeks of craving korean food and not being able to indulge.

[bywhie]

Day 3...oof

Today is a lot better than the first 2 days. I was very irritable. I did have a cup of broth last night and I felt terrible lol. Like I betrayed the Dr and myself. Even thought a cup is ok. Today I didn't feel as irritable and so sad that I couldn't give in to all these cravings. It's going to be a long 3 weeks. But...I got this..hopefully. fridge has nothing left except eggs and turkey in it. Pantry is getting cleaned and all food will be donated to a food bank or trashed. This first weekend will be tough. I like to sit up and watch Korean dramas on the weekends. But since I can't eat a whole lot...I might have to call it an early night like a normal person. #firstworldproblems

[bywhie]

My life for the next 3 weeks!!

Here we go!!! Tomorrow is day 1 of pre-op liquid meal replacement. Gods be with me...old and new.

[bywhie]

3 WEEKS UNTIL SURGERY!!

Whew spent 5 or 6 hours at the hospital on Friday, getting all sorts of tests done. Lots of blood work and a few x-rays. But the best was getting the pre-op and day of surgery instructions!! Now we start 3 weeks of liquid meal replacement diet to reduce the size of liver. I have lost a little over 10 pounds in 3 weeks so I have to lose another 10 to 15 pounds. The instructions really had me cracking up tho. Told me to stay in the house and avoid food lol. Might use this as an excuse even when I'm allowed to eat solids again. "Sorry I can't make it to your party, liquid diet." Lol This is going to be a tough few weeks but I'm determined.

Here are the instructions I was given!!! These shakes are not covered by insurance and could only be purchased at the hospital pharmacy. Quite expensive lol

[bywhie]

We have a surgery date!!!! May 18th!!!!!

I wasn't expecting it to be so soon. I haven't lost much weight so we are in crunch time now. I will be on a liquid diet for 3 weeks prior to surgery. So essentially I have about 3 weeks left of eating solid foods. I should be on my post-op diet. So I went to the store and bought lots of options for lunch and dinner. No more than 5 grams of fat, 5 grams of sugar. Little to no carbs. It's going to be tough to break these eating habits. Over the weekend I felt a little discouraged and had to fight the urge to go to publix and buy some cake and cookies or fried chicken. My friends helped by inviting me over. By the time I left, I was tired. Took some melatonin and went to bed. So today is the official first day of my new diet, pre-op. Wish me luck. Its going to be a long few weeks.

[bywhie]

Happy Tuesday. When I feel down and a bit sad...I create favorite lists on clothing websites. I create what I always wanted my wardrobe to look like, but was always afraid to buy bc of how I felt I looked. I did Marie Komdo my apartment. So I cleaned my closet out and what I couldn't give to friends and family...I donated to a local food and clothes bank. I hope some teenager finds cute clothes to wear to school and it makes them feel better. But now begins my journey to become the person I want to be on the inside and outside. Getting a therapist was the best decision I made in 2020. It helps she had the surgery too. So she knows what lies ahead for me. Anyway..happy Tuesday!!

[bywhie]

This is the program/hospital i decided to go with. Because my job was very flexible, I was able to get all of my appointments done within 2 months. It can take 3 to 8 months normally, and tests can be spread out over time. It actually may be better to spread them out to allow you time to think about surgery and if its still a good fit for you. Many things can come up that you may not even need surgery. Might be able to be on a good diet program to achieve your health goals. I wrote down questions I had and questions my family and friends had when I went to my first consultation. And pretty much for each appointment after. Once I shared the answers all the new questions I would write down to save for later. I also put tabs and post its on every section of this manual. Which is a 1 inch binder!!! Lol I love it. I have to bring it to every appointment. I will try to share some info from it but I will not be including too many pics as it is a product of their program and not able to be shared outside of it. Wish me luck!!

[bywhie]

SO...as of Friday I have been medically cleared for surgery. I had a lot of tests and labs to get through. 2 four hour classes with nutritionist and mental health dr. Lots of expensive meetings with my therapist. Though I have had one since early 2020. She had the sleeve done so clearly the universe brought us together.

I am both scared and excited. Excited because this is the change I feel that I need in my life. I am scared bc naturally I'm worried about my mental state during the all liquid diet phase. But I have an awesome support system!!! A very large one, and I am eternally grateful to my family and friends.

My name is Erica.

I'm 32 years old

Single

No children

I weigh about 300lbs

My first goal weight is 220. Then 199..and maybe, if possible, 180. I am not looking to be skinny. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.

I have learned through this process that bariatric surgery is not am 'easy way out." It is a tool to help lose weight. If not used properly it can and will..do more harm than good. So please don't treat it lightly. This requires hard work and drive to be a healthier version of yourself. I am open to questions. I can answer what I know..which may not be a whole lot lol.