caeruloplasmin

[caeruloplasmin]

I am unstoppable. Continue creating masterpieces. This time, my victim is Tommy Cash.

[caeruloplasmin]

I got bored at work, so... here's my very first Käärijä art.

I don't have much talent or patience to create a beautiful picture; but, considering my skill level (nonexistent), I did good

[caeruloplasmin]

What do you think about very angsty and smutty one-shot? Because I've just created one

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66255301

It was just once.

That doesn’t count.

He doesn’t need to know.

... Could you forgive cheating?

[caeruloplasmin]

CW: terminal illness; cancer diagnosis

I'm f***ing exhausted. I'm tired of feeling so stupid and useless. My brain is going to explode soon. How do I explain to the patient that we're doing everything we can in his situation, and the main reason he doesn't feel better, and his ascites doesn't go away, is because his liver is so damaged it's not functioning at all anymore? Whatever I do doesn't improve the situation. Liver transplant is out of options, because of the advanced cancer stage.

Like, what am I supposed to tell him? "Sorry, dude. Just go home"? I hate feeling so helpless. I hate it.

[caeruloplasmin]

I need to get back to the mood of 'writing for myself,' because as I began to put my works on AO3, I started to worry too much and compare my stories to other authors', became kudos/hits-dependent, and lost the joy of writing.

[caeruloplasmin]

for everyone getting into Tommy Cash's work for the first time, i highly recommend this video by Overthinking It! the video goes into Tommy's history, including his early rap, his bizarre art projects, and the duality present in all of his work, including Espresso Macchiato 👀💖

[caeruloplasmin]

The more I think about it the more I want Melhan to go canon… they are both such sweethearts who deserve love! Samira’s patience and empathy would make her incredibly good with Becca.

Mel and Samira are very supportive of each other’s medical skills and encourage one another all the time (as we see in the show and I’m sure continues).

Since they’re both burnt out, it would be lovely if they unselfconsciously stared into space together. Neither one has to worry about having energy cause they’re in the same boat. But slowly, over time, they start talking. Or they reach out to one another, first holding hands and then starting to cuddle.

Samira seems patient but amused about Mel’s different understanding of the jokes Dr. Mehta was telling, so watching them try to figure out each other’s senses of humour would be fun.

Etc etc, I just think they’re so neat!

[caeruloplasmin]

previous anon here

omg same actually, only difference is i'm in my freshman year of medical school. glad to share the same field and ship lol

Hello, colleague! 👋It makes me very happy to know there are people who share my (very specific) interests 😁

[caeruloplasmin]

hi!! do u happen to be in healthcare or sumn? the username just sent me back to medical biochemistry

Hi! You're right 😊. I do have a Bachelor's degree in Biology and a Medical degree. I'm currently doing my residency.

[caeruloplasmin]

I finally finished my WLW story featuring Stephanie and Jessica.

Am I happy with how it turned out? Not really.

Will I edit it? Maybe...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60790837/chapters/155260009

[caeruloplasmin]

sorry it was 2am and i let my anastasia au intrusive thoughts win

[caeruloplasmin]

Discovery of the day: This affirmation is actually working. I was having a really tough day and was on the verge of breaking down. So, I decided to try hyping myself up a bit, and I’m feeling much better now.

[caeruloplasmin]

You know, while struggling through the pages of the grammar book (here we change letters, here we don't, and here we omit them altogether 😭), I've reached the conclusion that I should probably be satisfied with whatever level I've achieved with Duolingo.

I feel it has taught me all the important things, like:

Suomi on aina kaunis

Onni on oma sauna ja tyyni järvi.

Haluan olla rauhassa.

Kalenteri on rikki ja kello seisoo

And

Suomalainen on velho ja norjalainen on viikinki.

And to further prove my point, here is a fanfic (yes, about these two) I wrote using only Duolingo Finnish (in case you haven't read it yet).

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59515168

I just love how proudly Jere looks at Bojan in this moment, when he's speaking Finnish.

I've watched the video an absolutely reasonable number of times.

Rad bi naroču govedino... Hiša... Pes

[caeruloplasmin]

Language Bingo Day 2

listen to a podcast episode and take notes on what you understand

The episode I am using:

I actually listened to this episode a few days ago for the first time while drawing. Just to familiarize myself with it a bit.

Then I went through it again today and took notes. The episode is 38 minutes long and it took like 1 hour and 30 minutes until I was finished. For the last like 10 minutes of the episode my concentration definitely wavered. This was a very intense way to do listening practice.

They are basically talking about loneliness and if it is your own fault. Someone called Annika Ollila shares her experience and the podcaster Roosa Rahkonen talks about it together with the psychotherapist Emilia Kujala.

I am actually half shocked, half fascinated how much I can actually understand just from context. Even at the speed at which they speak. It shows me that I am actually understanding a lot already, even if it doesn't feel like it most of the time.

Here is a list of the words and phrases/sentences I noted down: (corrections are welcome!)

disclaimer: Sometimes it is puhekieli because they are obviously speaking puhekieli, but I also made notes of what the full words are. Those notes are then in brackets (). There are also probably mistakes as I wrote these notes just from listening (thankfully Finnish is a phonetic language...)

fyysinen/ emotionaalinen yksinäisyys - physical/ emotional loneliness

Se vaikuttaa aivois(sa) samas(sa) paikassa, kun missä hän on fyysinen kipu. - It affects the brain in the same place as where there physical pain is.

ulkopuolisuus - externality

ristiriita - conflict, discrepancy

Mikä he kaipaat multa (minulta)? - What do they want from me?

katkos - failure, break

maski - mask "aina olen iloinen, koska iloisia ihmisiä tykätään" - I am always happy, because happy people are liked

haavoittuvuus - vulnerability -> haava - wound

yhteys - contact, connection

liittyä - be joined, unite

liittää yhteen - to connect

sosiaalinen liima - social glue (I found this wording very interesting)

aisti - sense

Haavoittuvuus liittää yhteen ihmisiä. - Vulnerability connects people.

(mistä +) johtua - be caused by (what)

näkemys - view, opinion

vuorovaikutus - interaction

julkisuuden - the public

ilmiö - phenomenon

korostua - to be emphasized

porukka - (social) group

häpeä - shame, stigma

torjuttu - repressed

Pelko, että toinen voi hyllättää mut (minut). - The fear that someone might abandon me.

hyllättää - to abandon

fiilis - vibes

Olla täällä mua (minua) varten. - To be there for me.

annettu (sille?) äidinmaidossa - it was given in my mother's milk (like 'it is in my blood'?)

luottaa - to trust

tukea - to support

Yksin olo ja yksinäisyys on kaks(i) ihan täysin eri asiaa. - Being alone and loneliness are two completely different things.

henkilökohtaisesti - personally

Meidän omis(sa) näpeissä. - literally: in our own fingertips; meaning: (it's) in our own hands

vastaavanlainen- similar

laumaeläin - herd animal

luultavasti - probably

läsnä - present (to be present somewhere)

[caeruloplasmin]

splish splash mermaid au etc

[caeruloplasmin]

"I do exist, don't I? It often feels as if I'm not here, that I'm a figment of my own imagination."

(Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman)

[caeruloplasmin]