calithso

[calithso]

i haven't posted in so long i felt bad so i'm gonna drop this here lol

[calithso]

bsf reminded me of this again and i still wonder where and how much angst i got at 18

HANGING FIRE OVER SNOWY SCENES

chr: la signora

desc: your memory of her, ever so painful.

content: gn!reader, pure heavy angst

wc: 840

a/n: food for my fellow la signora lovers that miss her too. let me hurt you again :D

You waited. You waited under the lamp post at the port of Snezhnaya. And you'd wait there for eternity—for eternity to take you away like what it did to your lover. You already waited at the start of spring and until now, when the trees in Monstadt shook off its leaves as the cold set in.

You still remember what the Jester said to you two full moons ago.

"You don't have to wait anymore," You remember his pitying gaze but still as cold as ice, "Your moth already touched the flame."

You wanted to drown him under the ice for as long as you waited for nothing but the hope of her ever coming back.

You continued to wait there everyday, every night, every hour of your finite life. Pierro's words never touched you like her words did so you never heeded his advice. The ship that was supposed to take Rosalyne back to you was docked in the harbor and never left its post. It will stay there forever waiting. You two couldn't be more similar to each other.

Every time you sit and wait under the familiar graying sky, you gaze into the scene of the dark sea and bring your recycled thoughts to the forefront of your mind.

Her questions that were left verbally unanswered.

"Would you dig up my body when I fall into the abyss of my destiny?"

'No. I would follow you. I'd crush my own heart, break off my limbs, feed them to the fishes so that Life would take the hint that I would never want to be resurrected again. Then I'd follow you down to the entrance of Death's gates, climb over the walls, tame Cerberus if it catches me committing enough sins that Death has no other choice but to lead me back to you.'

Her insecurities that tried to push you away.

"You are a candle under the pressure of my flame."

'And when I'd melt, you have the choice of molding me back into the person you fell in love with. Your fire would never be doused by my hands so when I melt once again, you can reform my soul and see that your flame could never destroy me nor burn me. Caress my imperfections with your loving touch and bite your confessions into my neck and when they're on their way to be forgotten you can etch your words into my brain so when I think of the pain, I am reminded of your comforting words instead.'

She once said she sometimes didn't like seeing the flaw that stained the right side of her face. So you closed your eyes and kissed hers instead. The touch of your lips on her burn marks brought heat to her cheeks that you lovingly cupped in the palm of your hands. And that's when she gathered enough courage to look into your eyes to see her true self. She never used a mirror until she saw her reflection in your gaze because your vision of her was her favorite, you saw her imperfections as your own criteria of beauty.

After her death, you have never seen the world the way you saw her. Instead, you saw it all black and white—ugly—like the clouds that held the lightning that struck her down into the ground.

You'd like the reality of touching her with your heart again. You pleaded to Death, you pleaded to Destiny, you pleaded to Life but they left you to bleed instead. How much can one take before they show up at the piers of eternity? How much can one take before they open the gates of their untimely demise at the hands of lightning incarnate? You don't know. You don't seek revenge because if you die, who would think about you two? Who would reminisce about the past like you do? No one thinks of Rosalyne like the fire on a cold, winter night like you.

Back when you haven't found her yet, fire was all she had. When she found you, you fanned her embers. You melted, but never burned. You never felt the cold ever again until someone doused the flame you delicately tried to forge. Now you're here where the cold blanketed the waters and where the sun hid behind clouds of apprehension. You waited under the artificial warmth of the lamp post and even then, it never reached your lone form. You never looked for another fire because hers was the only one you wanted to melt in. Each intake of smoke was a comfort to your lungs because it reminded you of her scent and every gaze into the light was the dream of bringing her back from the kindling that was soaked with rain when lightning came upon her destruction.

You need to feel the fire consume your insides and wrap around your freezing body once again. But alas, all the world has given you was the unforgiving ice that followed you everywhere like the ghost of her memory.

— 10/29/22

[calithso]

hi niki :0

i hope you're doing well, i haven't checked in for a while!! (picture a kitty in your lap rn; that's me)

i hope the weather is getting a bit better wherever you are, hoping for some more sunshine! and i hope everything has been going good for you ♡

helooo kittyyyyy

i'm doing just fine! just a little busy trying to meet deadlines left and right but it's nothing compared to last month just finishing up some stuff and then i'll finally be free YAY! i'm just doodling something light currently to ease into drawing again that i might post but it's not GI or HSR related which i find refreshing lol the weather's alright but i think there has been too much sunshine lmao anyways i hope you're doing alright too!! <33

[calithso]

im alive and back again just to say i farmed for huohuo and got her on the school computer in which my scream of joy almost gave my professor a heart attack

[calithso]

the venti cosplayer that jumpscared me earlier at a 7/11 made me wanna cosplay chief again for this week but i mayhaps lost my black shirt

[calithso]

hiiii twirling my hair and giggling

just a little kitty dropping by to see what you're up to

so many things at once 😔 (also making diy photocards for myself so im kinda having fun) thank you for dropping by kitty hehe miss you tons! mwah! 🩷

[calithso]

niki and seven look excactly the same in your artstyle im cryinggg

at first i was like "who?????" and forgot i named my infamous oc that. neways, you're right tbh

[calithso]

i get into a tv series literally once every year whether it be anime or not and my fav characters drop like fucking flies

[calithso]

Sorry ‘bout your headache and allergies, I hope you feel better soon!

thank u :3 getting used to drawing again too yay

[calithso]

happy valentines gays

[calithso]

THE PC TREND ON TWT IS MAKING ME LOSE MY MIND MYGOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

[calithso]

mom found my little gay bear from when i was younger

[calithso]

chiefchiefchief

[calithso]

hiiiii niki 😊😊😊😊

hiiiiiii kitty 😊😊😊🩷

[calithso]

wifeys

[calithso]

LOW KEY black swan being a ballet dancer would be so cool but I also kinda see her as a psychologist. Those two jobs are completely unrelated to each other but they suit her so well!!

i originally wanted her to be a doctor just because i wanted to draw her in a lab coat and glasses but it kinda didn't make sense 💔

[calithso]

what job would black swan have in a modern au or like what would she be doing

edit: oh and feixiao too