callmehannahagain

[callmehannahagain]

Just read 'TWD' as "The Wampire Diaries"

[callmehannahagain]

no one ever loved stede before ed, really and fully and deeply and in a my life won't ever be the same without you kind of way and thats not a knock on alma and louis, but they're kids, they adapt, and stede was kind of absent as a dad.

but stede grew up so unloved, so uncared for, so brutally shut down on every social level, that even when he irks me and irritates me and i demand that he do the work of self-improvement i understand that he is coming from such a lonely, hurt place. stede's spent his whole life sans the kind of love that comes from acceptance and understanding and being wanted not in spite of yourself but because of yourself, and it's why he finds it so easy to take himself out of people's lives - because he is convinced, deep down, that he is so inherently wrong and unwanted and ruinous that surely he can't be missed.

alma being furious with him was probably a shock, because he never imagined anyone would miss him. mary and louis' reactions were what he expected but they still cut to the quick.

ed's reaction? stede isn't going to be anything close to ready. no one's ever loved him enough to be destroyed by his absence.

[callmehannahagain]

blah blah we love ed in the pink floral dressing gown yeah yeah yeah i agree. lets talk about stede in the yellow dressing gown. he looks like sunshine. he looks like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. he looks like apollo. the collar, the embroidery, the white shirt underneath, the curls. the silk inside.

he looks like a light.  

he calls it his battle jacket. he wears it for confidence, to bring himself a confidence he doesn’t feel. he wears it with ed the first time they meet, trying to be brave for this new pirate, but he abandons it when he sees ed’s reaction to him, to his closet, to his life. then he switches to the pink floral - to the allowance of his softer side, to the blooming of his life. ed hides under the yellow robe when he’s in the bathtub, seeking protection, but then he too switches to the pink floral. 

i would really like to see the yellow dressing gown again. i would like to see that confidence again, not faked this time but earned. i would like to see that promise of protection again, not stolen but given. 

i would to see stede in the yellow dressing gown as he retakes his lighthouse narrative. he can guide his family–ed and the crew both. he can protect them. he can lead them home.  

[callmehannahagain]

I miss Our Flag Means Death and I miss Good Omens. I just need more unlikely friendship and found family tropes in my life.

[callmehannahagain]

so ofmd goes into detail about lighthouses, and how they are guides but mainly signals meant to help sailors avoid the dangers of land; in historical cartography (mapmaking), kraken iconography was used to do the exact same thing. krakens on a map indicated dangerous waters (geographically, territorially, etc) that sailors were cautioned to either avoid or face the consequences, the only real difference between the two symbols being that the kraken is much more outwardly intimidating, whereas the lighthouse seems innocuous and even safe until you've crashed against the rocks do you see where im going with this

[callmehannahagain]

the mailroom in the good place is stede's house in our flag means death omg the IMPLICATIONS

[callmehannahagain]

Hey, do you wanna do something weird?

[callmehannahagain]

as a southerner i just have to say that we as a society can’t allow people to keep spelling y’all as ya’ll like. y’all means “you all” the apostrophe can’t go in the middle of the word all. it’s not you a’ll. ya’ll isn’t anything. it isn’t real.

[callmehannahagain]

Fine, I’ll recommend 10 movies

First, I absolutely love movies, and simply cannot rank my favorites. Thus, this will be in order of release. Second, I have way too many movies to recommend, so I will absolutely have to split these into categories. This list contains 10 animated (and one Claymation) movies I love and HIGHLY recommend.

 1963- The Sword in The Stone - 1hr19min

This movie was produced by Disney, and is one of the many adaptations of King Arthur’s famous tale. I would truly like to believe this is the best retelling of King Arthur’s story, but it simply isn’t. (I am quite partial to the show Merlin) However, this is my absolute favorite movie version of King Arthur’s life, and it is one of my favorite movies to fall asleep to. The film is beautifully animated, whimsical, magical, and quite funny. I feel as though this movie has truly passed the test of time, and continues to be beloved among all ages. You can enjoy this with a Disney+ subscription.

1992- FernGully: The Last Rainforest - 1hr16min

I could talk about this movie forever. It was distributed by 20th Century Studios. This movie showcases how poorly we treat the environment and the people around us. With a hefty dose of humor, you follow a fairy and her friends around the Rainforest after they accidentally shrunk a human logger. You watch as the logger sees the harm in tearing down rainforests. “Will everyone become an environmentalist after watching this?” is probably what they were thinking when creating this movie, but with only a 63% on Rotten Tomatoes, I don’t think so. I do think its an early reason of my passion for Mother Earth though. You can find this film on Amazon Prime. 

1995- Whisper of The Heart - 1hr46mins

Okay, so this movie and the next kind of go together, and I really recommend watching them together. This movie really struck with me when I watched it for the first time this year. It is a Studio Ghibli and Toho Co. movie. You follow a girl who is passionate about creative writing, and not very passionate about school. I have never seen such supportive parents portrayed in any movie, ever. The main character starts slacking in school once she decides that she wants to be an author, and her parents do their absolute best to support her in her decision. While finding inspiration, she wanders in to an old shop, and finds a small cat statue in a suit and she decides to write her story about him. There is a love interest in this movie as well, and he plays the violin and it is very very adorable. I love this movie so much for its soft romance, mild fantasy elements that keep you pondering about the world, and the absolutely amazing and supportive adults in the film. If you want to watch it, and you should, it is in HBOMax. 

2002- The Cat Returns - 1hr15mins

The Cat Returns features the cat statue in Whisper of The Heart. It is also a Studio Ghibli and Toho Co. movie. It is best described as a wild adventure film. A girl saves a cat from being hit by a bus, and out of immense gratitude the cat stands up and gives his thanks. The father of this cat, who is the Cat King, is so grateful the young girl saved his son (the Cat Prince) that he invites her to The Cat Kingdom and wants her to marry the prince.. his son.. who she saved... who is a cat. I do not know what to say to convince you to watch this movie other than talking cats and a portal to a cat world, but it was one of the weirdest hours of my life, and I have since rewatched the movie quite a few times. You can find this movie on HBOMax as well, and PLEASE watch it RIGHT AFTER Whisper of The Heart. 

2005- Robots - 1hr31mins

From Blue Sky Studios and 20th Century Fox, Robots is one of the best Kid’s Animated movies of all time. It is so funny, all about how horrible capitalism is and how capitalism ruins families, lives, and dreams, AND has one of the best casts of any animated film.... ever. Starring Ewan McGregor, Robin Williams, Mel Brooks, Jennifer Coolidge, Amanda Bynes, Stanley Tucci, and Halle Barry, you know you are fully set up for a good time. The attention to detail in this movie is fantastic, and I notice something new every time. I used to watch this movie over and over again, and I still watch it in my 20s and laugh. It features a perfect mic of adult humor and kid humor, and mixes real themes like poverty and capitalism with toilet humor and boy talk. Not to mention the great soundtrack. I watch this movie when I am in need of a good laugh, no-stress, and nostalgic time. You can watch this movie on Hulu, and you should probably do it right now.

2006- Over The Hedge - 1hr27mins

I watch this movie for many of the same reasons I watch Robots. Over The Hedge is a Dreamworks Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Warner Bros., and Columbia Pictures film, and you can tell. It has all the charm you expect from Dreamworks, and all the laughs and hidden themes you could want. This is probably another reason for my love of animals and the earth. The film pokes fun at humans and overconsumption, while following a raccoon who got caught stealing from a bear. A beautiful ‘found family’ trope is exactly what we all need right now. Unfortunately, this movie is not on any streaming platforms, but you can rent it on Amazon or Youtube for $3.99. It is totally worth it. 

2009- Coraline - 1hr40mins

Everyone knows Coraline. A Laika Studios, Universal Pictures, and Focus Features film that scared the sh*t out of kids across the world. I have personally always loved this movie, and my older sister hated me for it. She thought it was terrifying, oh well! Directed by Henry Selick, who is phenomenal, and starring Dakota Fanning, you get to enter a world where everything is wet, parents ignore you, and nothing is as it seems. When a neighborhood kid finds a doll in his house that looks exactly like Coraline, she makes fast friends with the doll and discovers an old bricked up door that turns into a portal to a new, but very familiar world. In this new world, she meets her Other Parents, who pay attention to her, cook great meals, and give her gifts and mango milkshakes. She travels to and from the worlds with ease, and even tells her original parents of the world, but they don’t believe her. When her Other Parents ask her to stay in their world, little Coraline has to make a quick decision to stay and give the Other Mother her eyes, or leave... if she can find her way back out again. I have written too much on this movie considering everyone has already seen it, but I urge you to rewatch it and pay attention the the small details the film crew worked so hard to make perfect. I promise you’ll notice something new. You can watch Coraline on Tubi.

2011- From Up On Poppy Hill - 1hr31mins

Yet another Studio Ghibli movie! Studio Ghibli truly has always had animation figured out. This movie has been stuck in my brain since I first watched it. I only watched it for the first time a few months ago, but I have rewatched this movie at least 4 times since. From Up On Poppy hill opens with a young girl explaining that she has a lot of responsibilities at home, because her father has been missing since she was very little, and her mom is in the US for school. We get to watch her take care of the boarders in her home, and see her relationship with her grandmother, and learn about why her father is missing. One day the club next to her school has sort of a protest, because the big capitalist jerks in the city want to tear down and repurpose the space that the kids love and cherish. Anywayyyys, she meets the leader of that club and starts spending more of her time there, and stops completing all of her responsibilities at home. Again, thank you Studio Ghibli for giving us such kind and supportive adults in your films, because her grandmother just wants the best for her. The romance aspect from this film is really what threw me for a loop, and it was a little more than a “will they, won’t they” situations. More like a “can they, can’t they” type things. I loved it, and it has quickly risen to the top standings of my favorite animated films. You can watch it on HBOMax, along with most other Studio Ghibli movies.

2011- Gnomeo & Juliet - 1hr24mins

I am not sure how they got an hour and a half into this movie, but it is animation gold. I love gnomes, and I love TouchStone and Disney, so this movie is everything I could ever want. I firmly believe that Gnomeo & Juliet is the BEST rendition of Shakespeare’s classic tale, even better than the original. It is fun, filled with humor and fake teenage drama. It very much gives “BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM” vibes, ya know?? Anyways I watch this movie when I am absolutely incapable of watching anything new or even slightly stress inducing. If you need to just chill out and be a kid again, this is the movie for you. You can watch it on Disney+.

2012- The Lorax - 1hr26mins

Okay, fine so I lied. I can sort of rank my favorites. The Lorax is my all time favorite animated movie. With a superb star-studded cast of Danny Devito, Zac Efron, Taylor Swift, Betty White and Ed Helms, you just CAN NOT miss. A lot of kid’s first real step into the harms of capitalistic greed and corporate harm to the environment, it’ll get you riled up for Mother Earth and ready to overthrow the capitalist pigs who keep tearing down our forests and dumping oil into our oceans. Made my Universal Pictures and Illumination, you follow a young boy pining after a girl, and all the girl wants is a real tree. But how are they going to get a real tree when they live in an overpopulated, over polluted, and completely plastic world? All the trees have seemingly gone extinct, and all that’s left is plastic, rubber, oil, grease, and grime, and the mayor of this town is hellbent on keeping it that way. Anyways, a twist on the classic story by Dr. Seuss has become my most rewatched movie ever. When they took it off Netflix, I truly threw a tantrum. Anyways, I now own this movie on different platforms and DVD and Blue Ray. Not to mention that freaking amazing sound track! I bump and jump and sing to ‘How Bad Can I Be?’ on the daily. You can watch it with Peacock Premium.

So, there you have it. My must watch list of animated movies and where to find them. Let me know if you also love these, and if you hate them... don’t tell me because I am sensitive lol. Ciao! 

[callmehannahagain]

Y'all gotta stop making me cry

i'm just thinking about the moonlight scene and the Jenkins interview yesterday about Stede being an unwitting seducer and it just makes the scene so much more enjoyable to rewatch. From Ed's perspective this guy is pulling the smoothest moves of all time, like the most forward, i'm about to sweep you off your fuckin feet lines, looks him right in the eyes and tells him straight up "i'm gonna make you fall in love with me rn." And it COMPLETELY works on Ed like he can't even breath he's being so actively seduced. And even though Stede isn't doing that on purpose at ALL it's almost even MORE effective because he's being so authentically genuine and truthful that he is just exuding pure kindness and love and insight into Ed's soul. It's just so funny to me thinking about how Stede has absolutely no idea what he's doing to this man in that moment.

And it paints all future interactions with them with a completely different brush because one of them is consciously aware of the VIBEZ and one of them is only subconsciously aware. Ed thinks Stede knows what's up so he is purposefully flirting in all their little moments but hesitates to do anything outright because he's getting mixed signals from Stede, he just doesn't know the mixed signals are because Stede doesn't know that Ed knows that he's feeling a vibe and Stede himself doesn't even know what the vibe even means for himself.

It just really subverts the power dynamic that you would expect from this naive sunshine man meeting his broody hero. Stede holds all the power here and he has NO idea that he has Ed wrapped around his finger. Ed wants to leave bc he's afraid of the intensity of his feelings and the mixed signals from Stede and Stede is like "no <3" and puts on a cute outfit and takes him on a walk and makes Ed stay. Stede says he doesn't like Ed's personality around CJ and Ed is so gutted he leaves FOR STEDE not for himself but to spare Stede from himself. While they're being arrested Stede literally just SMILES at ed and ed signs his entire life away for him. 

I just think keeping all of this in mind is so important to understanding why their break up is SO melodramatic. Stede has unknowingly taken Ed on this emotional rollercoaster and he's been at following around Stede at his feet like a puppy dog just WAITING for a sign that this is real and Stede isn't toying with him so on the beach everything finally falls into place for the first time and Ed can finally just RELAX he isn't crazy and the power dynamic has shifted so that they are finally on the same page, he doesn't have to feel like he's just pining anymore, they are equally in love and that is so reassuring and validating. AND THEN HE LEAVES. That is such insane emotional whiplash and he was wrong the whole time and he feels like a fucking idiot and he must be SO FUCKING CONFUSED. Because the moonlight scene it seems like Stede is being so fucking crystal clear about his intentions and how could he have possibly got all of this wrong, and he ws right the whole time because Stede kisses him back and agrees to run away but actually no he was WRONG the whole time but how??? and yet it also goes back to that exact same scene where Ed tries to kiss him and Stede doesnt return the energy where this dynamic becomes so unbalanced and murky

no one touch me, alexa play motion sickness  

[callmehannahagain]

10 TV Series I've completed and recommend:

• Our Flag Means Death- a comedy series featuring pirates very loosely based on the true happenings of Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet (1 season, 2022, not officially renewed for S2 but is likely) HBOMax

•Russian Doll- A sci-fi, comedy drama featuring Natasha Lyonne. Starts with the Time Loop Trope but is more evolved and thought out than any other Time Loop media I've consumed. (2 seasons, 2019-2022, floating a possible S3) Netflix

•Minx- a comedy series featuring Jake Johnson. Set in the 1970s, this show explores a woman fighting for feminism in the pornographic magazine industry, even though this is NOT where she expected her magazine would end up (1 season, 2022, not officially renewed for S2 but is being talked about) HBOMax

• Imposters- Dark comedy drama about a con artist, and the past victims of the con artist (2 seasons, 2017-2018, finished) Netflix

•Superstore- workplace sitcom about an "average" grocery store and the workers relationships. Comparable to Parks and Rec and The Office. Featuring America Ferrera and Ben Feldman (6 seasons, 2015-2021, finished) Hulu

•Abbott Elementary- mockumentary of life as elementary school teachers. Created by Quinta Brunson, this show will make you laugh the whole time (1 season, 2021, officially renewed for S2) Hulu

•Brooklyn 99- Workplace sitcom featuring Andy Sandberg, Stephanie Beatriz, and Terry Cruz. This show is about detectives and their adventures, cases, and relationships in NYC precinct 99 (8 seasons, 2013-2021, finished) Hulu

•Modern Family- family sitcom focused on family dynamics between three main sets of couples and their children (11 seasons, 2009-2020, finished) Hulu and in some areas Disney+

•Gravity Falls- animated comedy series about a brother and sister who stay a summer with their wacky grandpa and help run his tourist gift shop, all while experiencing strange and paranormal events in the town of Gravity Falls (2 seasons, 2012-2016, finished) Hulu & Disney+

•The Owl House- classified as comedy horror, this animated series follows a young girl named Luz who goes through a portal into a fantasy world not like her own. Her biggest dream is to be a witch, and in this world, it seems possible. Follow her and her newfound friends through her journey, and find out if she ever goes back home (2 seasons, 2020-present, S3 confirmed) Disney+

[callmehannahagain]

Okay. This is the last one for the night. I cannot be crying at midnight over middle aged gay pirates 🥲

i can and will make myself sad about every little thing in this show

'cause like. by now ed's been on the revenge for a while. we know that he's comfortable taking naps on stede's couch (which he's arguably just been doing all of his sleeping on) and he's borrowed stede's clothes and they have breakfast together and they're co-captains. their lives are pretty entangled is my point. the line between "my stuff" and "your stuff" gets blurry when there's that level of cohabitation.

and i firmly believe that stede's said something to the effect of "what's mine is yours" at some point, because that man just. delights in sharing his things with ed and he has from the beginning

and this moment. this right here, when lucius walks up with this tiny little box with like three things in it and says, yeah this is everything that's yours. and he makes it extra clear that everything stede shared with ed, the soap and the clothing and the tea, all the little luxuries that ed was always told were not for people like him, they're all gone now. it was always temporary. conditional. they were yours only while stede permitted it.

it fuckin h u r t s, man. like, ed tries to be all casual about it, all, why's there no soap, i use that, it's mine too right. but the look on his fuckin face. like its really sinking in that stede finally wised up and saw who he really was, and that person isn't someone who deserves nice things.

[callmehannahagain]

[callmehannahagain]

I cannot handle any more hurt and this isn't even canon

He needs to find the lighthouse.

When he sleeps, curled into the corner of the bed that once belonged to Stede, he dreams of it. The sky behind it cracks into shards like multicoloured tiles.

He wakes in a cold sweat, and outside the sky is blue and whole.

It isn't hard to find, in the end.

He takes one of the dinghies, diligently rowing himself to shore. The ache in his arms matches the ache in his legs as he finally makes it to the top of the cliff. Across the water, he can see the lighthouse.

The only thing that's missing is the shattered sky.

He turns, observing the stark little clifftop with its spindly trees and broken foliage. It feels grey, here, even though the sun is high and bright.

And then he sees it - the yellow headstone, as stark and lifeless as the clifftop itself. He reads the inscription. Suddenly, he's on his knees, choking on air.

"Mother?" The voice sounds light and far away. "Who's that man?"

He doesn't care that they aren't talking to him. "Ed," he says, staring at the name on the stone. "I'm Ed."

When he finally looks up, he sees a dark haired woman and a pair of children staring down at him. The woman watches him in wide-eyed shock. He opens his mouth to speak - to tell her to piss off - but all that comes out is a strangled gasping sound.

Then she's on her knees too, right beside him.

"Ed?" She says carefully. "Stede's Ed?"

No, he wants to say. Not his. Never his - I tried, but he didn't--

"Yes," he says instead. "He's dead?"

She peers over her shoulder at the children. Then back to him. Her hand is on his arm, now. There's paint on her fingers.

"We should talk."

[callmehannahagain]

I think what hurts the most with Ed’s crying scenes is that he cries like a child. He still is a child (trauma is a bitch). When he doesn’t carry himself like the kraken he walks around deck like a child.

It’s just so refreshing to see accurate C-PTSD representation! Being manipulated to perform roles you created to protect yourself; knowing when you fall, you fall.

These aren’t the sobs of an older man. These are the sobs of a boy who wasn’t meant to have fine things.