candycorncarl - Tumblr blog

candycorncarl · 4 years

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Right Here, Right Now

WOW!! I’m finally posting part 4! I am so sorry it took this long. I had a lot going on but I reworked this part sooo many times. I really wanted to do something similar to the toothbrush scene in bring it on and one of the priest scenes in fleabag... enjoy!! p.s there are two songs I used as inspo for this chapter fever thoughts by louis III and north by clairo!

Warnings: alcohol, angst Word count: 4.5k

Part 4

"Couldn't our unsub choose, I don't know? A warm sandy beach?" Emily groans, zipping her coat up. You all make your way into the parking lot of the local police station.

The forecast for your stay in Maine was looking rather snowy. The town you were in was smaller than usual so they didn't have typical accommodations for many visitors. Right now the plan was to stay at the station. Something you were all hoping wouldn't actually have to happen. You don't know whose idea it was to wait outside since it was freezing, but the snow was beautiful.

"At least the scenery is pretty." You look up at the sky watching it fall, feeling yourself blinking away small flakes.

"Should we all huddle together to stay warm?" Derek smiles at the three of you. "Oh yeah you'd love that." JJ scoffs with an eye roll. Looking past the group you see Spencer standing by himself. He's struggling trying to study a map on the hood of the suv while fighting off the cold. If I was going to huddle with anyone to stay warm it would be him. He gives up on the map and looks up at the snow falling. The parking lot lamp softly lighting up his face. That constant subtle ache from missing him hurts a little more watching him take in the snow. The way it was falling made it look like he was moving in slow motion. It's not until he's made his way standing next to you in the group that you're knocked out of your trance. Diverting your eyes back to Derek, he's talking about... Chicago winters, ah okay.

"Well I know one things for sure, I am going to warm up with a nice cup of tea that Y/n will be serving about a certain someone." A big grin forms across Emily's face as she tightens her coat around her body. "Ohhh count me in." JJ says with a mischievous smile. "Oh my god." You tug down on your coat pockets feeling put on the spot. Looking down at your feet you let out a small laugh, trying to hide how uncomfortable you actually are. Please, let's talk about anything else. "Hey now, what about us?" Derek asks sounding offended, gesturing to Spencer. Your breath hitches at the thought of Spencer sitting there listening to you talk about Luke. "No boys allowed, sorry." Emily shrugs her shoulders at Derek. As your breathing returns to normal you try to avoid looking at Spencer. You can feel his eyes on you, waiting for you to say something. "Yeah, well you're welcome. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't even know who he is." Derek huffs out a laugh.

You laugh Derek off but can't help to glance up at Spencer, looking up at him feeling like a guilty puppy. His eyes dart to the ground and you watch his brows furrow together. Great, he can't even look at me. Unsure of how to reply, this is literally the last thing you wanted to talk about with Spencer around. As you awkwardly laugh trying to figure out how to respond Spencer pipes up, looking back up at the snow. The snowflakes gingerly kiss his skin, I never thought I'd be jealous of snow. "Did you guys know snow is comprised of ninety to ninety five percent trapped air? It makes for a great insulator. An igloo that uses only body heat can become around 100 degrees warmer inside compared to the outside temperature." Spencer begins to ramble, distracting the group from the previous conversation. "So... what? We should just build igloos to sleep in tonight?" JJ retorts. "Considering none of us have ever in built one, it would take too long to actually be practical for tonight. It can take anywhere from three to six-" Spencer continues. "Please tell us we all have beds to sleep in tonight!" Derek shouts over Spencer at Hotch and Rossi as they make their way back to the group. "We found a bed and breakfast that's willing to open for us." Hotch says. "They're usually closed this time of year, but thanks to a little persuasion from yours truly they agreed to take us in." Rossi raises an eyebrow while slipping his leather gloves on. Everyone quickly thanks him while rushing to the suv's.

___________

Sitting near the cozy fireplace in the small bar area of the bed and breakfast was the perfect way to warm up. Enjoying your wine the inevitable conversation starts. "Ok, so when is date number two with Luke?" Emily sips on her wine glass, her brows perking up innocently. You roll your eyes and smile. "Well.. it already sorta happened?" You bite your bottom lip looking away from them. "I'm sorry, when? And why didn't you tell us?!" JJ tilts her head at you. "We decided to get lunch a few days ago. It was a little last minute. I got to meet his dog Roxy though! We met at the park and yeah, it was nice." You take a big gulp of wine knowing the subject wasn't going to change anytime soon.

Talking about Luke is confusing to say the least. He is someone you would be head over heels for, if you weren't already feeling that way. How do I just turn off my feelings for Spencer so soon... or at all for that matter? Ugh! It was only one night with Spencer... Get. Over. It. That night was the culmination of over a years worth of hidden feelings though. It wasn't something that was only to last as long as a match can hold a flame. You thought you knew Spencer, you thought it meant the same thing for him. How could it not?

"Oh come on! You've gotta give us more than that. Do you like him?" Emily pushes your arm, pulling out of your thoughts.

"Alright, alright fine. I mean so far he's great. He's a good dog dad, which says a lot about him. He's funny, he listens. I'm surprised by some of the stuff he manages to remember. Yeah, he's easy to talk to." You feel yourself beginning to smile, but you catch yourself. You begin to twirl your hair in your fingers feeling a little nervous from your emotions. The wine combined with your nerves is making you feel warmer by the second, you feel your cheeks heating up.

"Ok well, you can finally admit I picked a good one." JJ singsongs as she pours a little more wine into your glasses.

You shake your head in agreement, raising your glass at her before taking another big sip.

"And he's hot, let's not forget that." JJ says, raises her glass in return.

"And he's hot." Your eyes widen, and Emily raises an eyebrow noticing your facial expression.

"Oh! What does that face mean?" She leans closer as a curious smile grows across her face.

"Umm... he might've sent me a picture of him and Roxy after a hike they went on and... let me just show you." You pull your phone out searching for the photo. Biting your bottom you try to hide your giddy school girl smile. Finding the photo you hand your phone over to Emily.

"Wow! How many abs is that?" She studies the picture sharing the phone with JJ. JJ's face lights up as she tries to hide her intrigue.

"That would be at least 6." JJ clears her throat examining the photo before handing your phone back.

"Ok yeah, I think JJ wins as best wing woman." Emily chuckles.

"She does, and with that being said I need to go to bed. The wine is kicking in." You set your glass down and hop off your seat.

"I'm sure you'll be having some sweet dreams." Emily winks at you, and you all start to giggle before you make your way to the stairs.

You head up the creaky stairs, the alcohol making your legs feel heavy. Smiling to yourself as you think of your lunch date with Luke in the park. Maybe all I need to do is just give it time... Reaching your room you throw your now suffocating sweater off along with your itchy bra. Your tank top is already acting as a form of relief from the warmth of the alcohol. You're now regretting practically chugging it. Grabbing your toiletries you shuffle to the bathroom, eager to wash your face and go to bed. Opening the door you're surprised to see Spencer standing on the other side.

"OH!" You yelp in fear, swiftly slamming the door closed.

"Wait, is this a shared bathroom?" You ask, flustered through the door.

"Uh, it seems so." Spencer says, not sounding very enthused.

"Wow, they could have told us that to avoid any heart attacks." You say with your hand placed over your heart.

"I'm finishing up if you need to set your stuff down." Spencer replies, his voice slightly muffled.

Your heart shifts from a fearful thump to a now nervous thump. You haven't had any alone time with Spencer since that night in the elevator. Since he rejected you and left you in tears. Making sure to avoid eye contact you set your stuff down on the sink.

He's brushing his teeth, mouth full of toothpaste. He isn't looking at you at first but when he does decide to look up at you through the mirror he does a double take. Taking in the lack of clothing you're wearing his eyes hold an aggressive gaze on the faucet. She's going to be the death of me.

"I just need to brush my teeth too." You say shuffling through your bag, still avoiding eye contact.

Not having had a conversation with Spencer in weeks that wasn't solely work related created an awkwardness in the air that could be cut with a knife. Talking to him was somehow the last thing you were ready to do, but was still the only thing you wanted. Luckily shoving a toothbrush in your mouth saved you from any uncomfortable conversation. You shakily squeeze some toothpaste on your brush and begin swirling it around your mouth. You peek up at him in the mirror and he replies with a small eyebrow shrug. Feeling your mouth quickly filling with the frothy toothpaste, you brush for what felt like forever. At this point it feels like a contest of who can go the longest. The two of you exchanging awkward glimpses at one another waiting to see who will finish first. The quick consumption of alcohol earlier keeps your mind fuzzy from the small bit that dribbled onto your chest, attracting even more attention to your taunting tank top. Bending down to spit out the excess, you also don't seem to realize how open your tank top is hanging down.

Spencers face turns a deep shade of red watching you. The dribble slowly moving down your chest putting thoughts in his head he tries his hardest to stop. When you bend over and your tank top falls from your chest he nearly becomes undone. The situation becoming all the more agonizing for him. He finally spits his toothpaste out and tries to subtly run some water over his face.

Once you look in the mirror you finally notice the small mess on your chest. "Oh, whoops!" You let out a small laugh, blushing in embarrassment.

Spencer tries to pack his stuff up hurriedly. Doing everything he can to avoid anymore glances at you or your chest. His cheeks keep their rosy color as he fumbles with getting his toothbrush back in his bag.

"That seemed a little longer than the recommended time to brush, didn't it Doctor?" You ask trying to joke, but the word doctor slips out more flirtatiously than intended. You just want to have a pleasant ending to the rather embarrassing situation for yourself. His sudden change in demeanor is enough to make you stop wiping the toothpaste off your chest. Fuck I just made it worse.

"Please, don't call me that." He turns to face you.

"Oh I was just-" Before you can finish your sentence he cuts you off. Something he's gotten a little too good at.

"Acting like it doesn't turn you on just to say it." He nearly whispers as he lets out a small provoked laugh, shaking his head. Suddenly, his thumb meets your chin as he wipes away a tiny bit of toothpaste that went unnoticed. His eyes dart from yours to your lips. His fingers still holding your chin.

You feel dizzy from the sudden rush of blood to your face. You can't take your eyes off of his, almost out of fear. Any sudden movement would have consequences, so you stand there completely frozen in his hand. As you watch his gaze shift down your body and his brows furrow together his eyes seem to darken. A look of anger running across his face. The only thing you can hear is your heart pounding, anticipating each second. Then suddenly, without saying anything else he walks into his room and shuts the door. What the fuck? Standing there in awe of what just happened your fingers brush over where he touched your chin. Did he really just do that? Your feet seem stuck in place so you're not sure how stepped over to his bedroom door. Should I open it? Yes. ...No. You bite your cheek, retracting your hand from the knob. What was that?! Fuck! Too many thoughts are racing through your head. Your hand grips the doorknob again out of impulse. Just as you decide to turn it you hear your phone ring in your room. Jumping back you stare at the door a bit longer. Frowning, you turn back into your room.

Spencers hand is gripping the doorknob so tight his knuckles turn white. He rests his head on the door, a long rigid breath huffing from his nose. Not only did the shared bathroom catch him off guard, the fact you're the one sharing it with him is almost too much to handle. The cherry on top being your flimsy tank top, teasing him unintentionally. Shaking his burning hand that was just caressing your chin, he sees the doorknob barely turn. He jumps back, heart beating out of his chest. As quickly as he saw it move it stopped, and then he hears the sound of your closing door. Turning to face his room he runs his hands through his hair taking a deep sigh. He angrily fights with the buttons on his shirt, tearing it off with fervor. Knock on the door. She was about to come in. He stops walking to the door as he hears your muffled voice through the paper thin walls. The cadence of your voice revealing you're not talking to just a friend. She's talking to Luke. He pushes his bag off his bed out of frustration, FUCK!

"Yeah?" You stumble over the bed to answer your phone before it goes to voicemail. Not checking the caller id beforehand. Your head feels like it's splitting.

"He-Hey! I hope it's okay that I called you? I wasn't sure if you'd still be working." He sounds surprised that you answered, but taken aback by how you answered.

"Oh my god Luke. Yes, yeah of course! We finished for the night not too long ago. I just got to my room." You clear your throat trying to shift your full attention to your conversation.

"If you need to go I understand, I don't want to keep you up." He shyly laughs through the phone.

"No, it's okay. Sorry it's just been a long day." You sit on the bed staring at the bathroom door.

"It's okay, I get it. Hopefully you're staying warm?" Luke asks calmly.

"Trying to. It's freezing here, beautiful, but freezing. I'm sure Roxy would love playing in all this snow." You feel a smile spread across your face thinking of how excited she would be.

"She definitely would. I think she misses you actually." He says hesitantly. You don't often hear him sound so nervous.

"Are you sure she misses me? Or just the treats I gave her." You chortle.

"Ah, well either way I'm sure she'd be happy to see you again." Luke says, clearly petting Roxy in the background. "She's not the only one who would like to see you again." He still sounds slightly nervous.

"Oh? I'm not sure when we'll be back yet." You bite the inside of your cheek. You just don't have it in you to flirt back right now, you can feel the guilt creeping up inside you. Your fingers somehow find their way to where Spencers just were.

"Of course, yeah. No worries." He quickly replies. There's almost a sense of embarrassment in his tone.

His tone confuses you for a second until you realize the way your reply came across. What am I saying? I do want to see him again.

"I'll let you go so you can get some sleep." Luke says after a brief pause.

"That would be nice though! Seeing Roxy, that is. I'll let you know when we're headed back." You let out a small laugh in hopes to let him know you didn't mean to shoot him down. "Of course. Well goodnight, dulces sueños." The confidence in his voice coming back.

You say goodbye and plop your head back on the pillow. What am I doing?

___

Sitting on the edge of his bed he can't shake the sight of you in your tank top, the toothpaste trailing down your chest, your inability to take your eyes off of his. The way you eat up his mind makes him restless. His leg shaking over the edge of the bed, he bites away at his bottom lip. It's like the worlds way of torturing him, being able to hear you talk to someone who isn't him. He doesn't even bother distracting himself with a game of chess or a book to read. He hopes for once he can just force himself to sleep. Something he's never been good at, but right now he's desperate for an escape from you. Even though you are the only place he wants to be. Laying in bed he stares up at the ceiling, images of you still flashing through his mind. He flashes back to you standing in the snow. The snowflakes getting stuck on your eyelashes, the permanent flush on your cheeks from the cold air... the guilt in your eyes when you looked up at him. Shaking that thought away he sits up. Why did she stop turning the doorknob? Did she want to come in? No, because if she wanted to she would have. Knowing you're just on the other side of the door, knowing all he has to do is walk through that door to see you, to be able to touch you again, to feel your touch again. She doesn't want me anymore. She would have come in if she did. She has... Luke. She was probably just going to tell me to leave her alone. Turning the light off he turns over glaring at the window. The unavoidable tossing and turning keeping him up all night.

___

Your alarm wakes you up and you groggily turn over in the warm bed. That was 2 maybe 3 hours of sleep? Checking your phone you see a good morning text from Luke. You send a quick good morning back and give yourself a few more minutes in the warmth of the bed you knew you'd lose to the cold air of the room. You hear the shower turn off in the bathroom and you sit up. Spencers words from last night flood your memory, causing a melancholic nervousness to fill your stomach. You scroll through your texts finding your messages with him. His last text reading as piercing as the temperature outside.

Reid: You should go on the date.

He couldn't even talk to me about it. He just dismissed me. You feel your eyes filling with tears, as you think back to how scared you were to go to his apartment that night. It was terrifying but finally happening, and it was so much better than all the times you had dreamed about. How do I miss him this much? Scared of your feelings, you wipe your eyes dry and make your way to the bathroom. You step into the steaming shower hoping to wash this sadness off of you. Letting the warm water reset yourself. You begin to hum a song you've been listening to on repeat, the lyrics seem to be as if you wrote them. Going through the motions of your morning routine you don't even remember the walk down from your room to the breakfast area.

Grabbing a plate and filling it with food you scan over the dining area you make sure to sit away from wherever Spencer is. Finding an empty seat by Rossi you gladly take it.

"The one great thing about staying in a bed and breakfast? The breakfast." Rossi says, setting down a cup of coffee in front of you. "I have to give this place a 5 star rating for their choice of italian sausage!" He continues as he takes a seat across from you.

"Wow, 5 stars? That's almost unheard of from you." You tease him while cutting up some to try.

"Well you know the only other place I can rate so highly is where you went on your date the other night." Rossi says in a teasing way, smiling as he takes a bite.

"Oh! Yeah the food was amazing." You really didn't want to talk about your date there with Rossi, especially after the morning you've had.

"How's everything going with that?" He takes a sip of his coffee watching you fidget in your seat.

"Everything is good. We've only gone on one other date but he's great." You shove some food into your mouth and smile. Looking back at your plate you begin to push your food around.

"But?" Rossi watches your fork play with your food.

"But what?" You look up at him with a confused frown, cheeks still full of food.

"But, something is bothering you. Hence you playing with your food." He nudges his eyes at your plate.

You look around the room to see if anyone else was listening. Everyone seems engaged in their own conversations so you let out a deep sigh. The frown stays put on your face.

"It's complicated but I opened up to someone... about my feelings for them. I thought they felt the same way considering what happened between us. Except now it seems like they want nothing to do with me." You divert your eyes over to Spencer for a moment, then back to Rossi. "The problem is that all of this happened before that first date with Luke. I'm just having a hard time sorting out my feelings. It's nothing really." A tight lipped smile forms on your face as you look down at your plate.

"I see. Well, maybe this person got scared of their own emotions? If this was something that happened suddenly that is. I can't imagine they wouldn't want to be with you, bella donna." Rossi winks, "Regardless you deserve someone who can be there for you. Does Luke seems like a good guy?" His eyebrow raises as sips more of his coffee.

"He's a good guy... but so is the other one. That's my problem." You give Rossi a half grin, making yourself eat a little bit more.

"Except one knows what he wants. Just remember that." He takes another bite of food.

You spin your eggs around on your fork as his words sink in.

Spencer searches through his phone growing more agitated by the second. He looks over at you talking to Rossi. What song was she humming earlier? He could hear you through the door right before he left and the soft melody won't leave his head.

"Damn pretty boy I've never seen you spend so much time on your phone. Are you okay?" Derek asks jokingly sipping his coffee.

"Have you heard of a song that goes hmm hmmm hmm hmm hmmm..." He hums the song the same as you did, just with much more discomfort. His big brown eyes scanning their faces hoping one has the answer.

"Uhhh, no? Is that what you're doing? Looking for that song?" JJ asks, giving Derek a look of confusion.

"I've had it stuck in my head all morning and don't know what it is. I only heard that small part of it." He continues searching through his phone.

"Maybe y/n would know? She loves music." Emily turns to call you over.

"It's fine! I'll figure it out." Spencer stops her, giving her a tight lipped smile.

"Ohhhkay... well good luck trying to figure it out." Emily pops her t and exchanges looks with JJ and Derek. They shrug it off and continue their conversation finishing up their breakfast.

"Let's head out in ten." Hotch announces before heading out in his typical serious manner.

"You better eat quickly, Reid. I'm not stopping for a chicken wrap when we're an hour on the road." Derek pushes Spencer's plate closer to him before getting up.

Climbing into the suv with Emily and Rossi, you take the passengers seat. It wasn't the shortest drive to the police station and you wanted to try and hold off on anymore conversations for the morning.

"Do you mind if I put some music on?" You plug your phone in before they could say no.

"Go for it." Emily says climbing into the backseat.

"Thanks." You put on the song you were humming earlier, needing to actually hear it aloud. Staring out the window, taking in the beautifully frosted trees you let your mind wonder along with the song. Emily perks up noticing the familiar tune from Spencer. She pulls her phone out.

Prentiss: Is this your song?

Spencer hears his phone ding and frantically pulls it out. Opening the text from Emily he reads over the picture she sent. North by Clairo.

"Can I use your headphones?" He turns to look at Derek driving.

"I guess, but just until we get to the station." Derek huffs pointing to his bag in the backseat.

He grabs the bag and searches for his headphones. Plugging them into his phone he opens up his music app and searches for the song. He presses play and closes his eyes. A frown growing over him as he listens closely to the lyrics, his chest feeling tighter as the song goes on. He tightly grips his phone waiting for the part you were humming.

All I'm tryna say Is I miss you in every way Fingertips on my back Things I know that I can't have

Never seen a face like yours I got it together but my breath feels short I don't wanna close the door Maybe I should just go up north

As the song ends his eyes open and he stares down at his phone. The lyrics nearly breaking him. Is this how she feels? He presses the replay button and listens to the song on repeat for the rest of the ride.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

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candycorncarl · 4 years

Text

Right Here, Right Now

Part 3! Sorry it took me so long to get this part out! I wanted to make sure I had a good idea of where this story should go. I hope u all enjoy :)

Warnings: annngstt, mentions of anxiety, alcohol Word Count: 4.1k

Part 3

Your eyes flutter open, quickly squinting at the sliver of sunshine peeking through the curtains. Taking a moment to gather your surroundings, you sink back to real life. Last night wasn't just a dream. Turning over you see Spencer sprawled out next to you. His chest slowly falling up and down as he lays on his back. His hands that were so hungry for your touch last night are now gently resting over his abdomen. A small smile tugs at the corner of your mouth as you take him in. You've never seen Spencer look so relaxed. Not wanting to wake him from his well deserved rest you turn over to search for your phone, luckily it's within reach on the floor. Noticing you had a few texts you started to feel worried that your lie to leave early last night didn't work.

Prentiss: I hope you're feeling better this morning! JJ has some exciting news to share with you ;)

Garcia: You didn't hear it from me but JJ was on a whole other level of wing woman for you last night. She got you a date without you even being there!! Also I hope you're feeling better, I'm sending over a thousand smooches! MUAH! xoxo

JJ: So... I might have set you up on a blind double date with Will and I?

"What?!" You accidentally blurted out. Spencer started to stir and you put your phone down trying to shake the surprise off your face. Turning over to face him you started brushing his hair out of his face. He stretched out letting his arm drape over your back.

"Good morning." You whisper moving to become eye level with him.

"Morning," Spencer grumbled, his morning voice is even better than you thought it would be. He frowns, barely able to keep his eyes open. Still playing with his hair, you try to hide the smile returning to your face. "Did you sleep okay?" He asks, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah, sorry I didn't mean to wake you up." You say softly. His eyes close again as he grins, he scoots himself closer to you.

"It's probably time to get up anyway." He mumbles, his face halfway smushed into the pillow.

"Unfortunately... and I still have to go back home." You say under your breath, groaning. You wiggle closer to Spencer and he hugs you tighter. His face now resting on top of your head. The warmth of his body melts your worries away. He gives the top of your head a gentle kiss and starts brushing his fingers over your back.

"We should probably get up." You start to pull your head back. He holds you a little tighter in protest. You sprinkle a few kisses in the dip of his neck. His hand moves to your hip and he squeezes it.

"Spence- I have to go back home to get ready." You stop yourself, pulling yourself away again. Rolling out of bed you pick your discarded clothes up. Walking over to his side of the bed you kiss his forehead. He mimics you from last night and pretends to take a picture. He watches you bounce your way over to the bathroom as you giggle. The only thoughts in his mind are trying to piece out how you're actually real.

After freshening up you step out of the bathroom and the smell of coffee fills the bedroom. Following the scent you find Spencer in the kitchen yawing over the coffee maker.

"Don't worry, I'm making you a to-go cup." A small smirk tugs at the corners of his mouth as he points at his sparkly tumbler. It was part of a matching set Penelope gifted to all of you. His voice is still sleepy. You chuckle and walk over to him, slightly hesitant you play with your thumbs watching the coffee brew. Knowing he feels the same way about you now makes you feel more nervous, more vulnerable. You trust Spencer but you're still scared of getting hurt.

Spencer watches you twiddle your thumbs, clearly deep in thought. Wanting to reassure you, and himself he pours the coffee in the cup for you.

"I'm really happy you decided to come here last night." He says quietly, sliding the cup over to you.

"Me too." You peek up at him. Something about his messy hair and thrown on pajamas made you feel shy, like you were in a teenage romance again. You feel his fingers start to run over your back but suddenly your phone dings. Closing your eyes you feel his fingers disappear from your waist.

"I'm guessing that's your ride home." He says as he brushes your hair over your shoulder.

"Yeah..." You sigh but before you can move he grabs the small of your back, kissing you with a gentle force. Your hands trail over his chest. The grip he has on your hair sends your butterflies soaring. He pulls away resting his forehead on yours.

"I'll see you at work." He whispers letting you go. You take each other in one more time and before you slip out the door you yell "thanks for the coffee!"

Spencer watches you leave and tries to convince himself that he is actually awake. A small spark of nerves ignites in his stomach. Before it was all just passing glances, the closest he ever got to touching you was a brush of a shirt sleeve. It was easy to hide before, and now he felt exposed. It's Y/n though. Getting to feel your touch, being able to kiss you, and spend moments in the morning like that with you made breaking his rules worth it. He was really getting tired of hiding his feelings, especially from you. He makes his way back into his room to make his bed and get ready for work. As he's straightening his pillows he smells the lingering scent of your perfume. He stops messing with the sheets almost as if he's afraid of erasing away a piece of last night.

___

Spencer sits at his desk anxiously waiting for you to arrive. He stopped at his favorite bakery on the way to work to grab a coffee for himself, a donut, and a muffin for you. Unsure of which one you would prefer, he ended up getting both. He quickly hid the box walking into work so no one else would notice. As he glances at the doors for the hundredth time, you finally walk in. He perks up from his crossword puzzle, pulling the pastry box out. When you glance over at him his heart is racing. Especially when he notices the smallest smirk on your face. He sits up a little straighter the closer you get to him, but when you drop off your things and head to the kitchen he tries to brush it off. It would be too obvious for her to talk to me anyway.

Rushing into the bullpen you take a quick peek over at Spencer, his eyes already on you. You can feel yourself starting to blush noticing the small smirk on his face. Breaking the split second of eye contact you drop your stuff at your desk you search the room for JJ, finding her over at the kitchen talking to Emily and Penelope. Penelope notices you subtly storming over and her smile drops.

"She's coming... she's getting closer... she's right behind you." Penelope narrates as you reach the group, eyes locked on JJ. Emily and JJ silently smile at you, guilt ridden smiles to say the least.

"Alright, spill. How did this even happen?" You ask, crossing your arms. Emily and Penelope stay silent as JJ clears her throat.

"Well, he was at the bar last night. Derek introduced us to him and when we got to talking we learned that he was single, he's cute... and you're single and cute so I thought why not? To be fair it is a double date so it won't be that bad." She continues forcing a smile hoping you'll open up to the idea.

"Just show her that picture we took. She won't be mad once you show her what he looks like." Emily nudges JJ's arm and shakes her head yes at you. The worry reads over your face as you wait for JJ to pull her phone out.

"He's in the FBI so he's not just some random stranger." JJ says trying to defend her choice of actions, she turns her phone to you showing you a selfie they took last night. You grab her phone and frown.

"I can't even tell what he looks like! It's dark and blurry." You zoom in on the mystery man hoping to see anything.

"Ok, ok stop. I'm not letting you say no to this date. It's been forever and you're too hot to not be cashing in on free dinners. I'll enhance the photo and you will say yes." Penelope says in all seriousness, ready to get to work. You can feel Spencer glaring over, trying to read your lips. When your eyes meet him he returns to his work. You can't help yourself from smirking.

"Let me think about it?" You give JJ her phone back.

"I mean once we get a good picture of him, you're going to say yes." Emily shrugs. You roll your eyes.

"Just let me know by the end of the day. He's waiting to hear from me." JJ says, giving Emily a look as they walk back to their desks.

You sit down at your desk biting the inside of your cheek. Pulling up your work for the day on your computer you try to work, but you can't focus. You're not mad at JJ, she's just being a good friend. Knowing you need to talk to Spencer you try to figure out what to do. The way you felt last night was something special, but you weren't sure where that left you two. Trying to look busy for a minute you finally pull your phone out. You text Spencer and quickly put your phone down. You're much more nervous than you want to be. You wipe your sweating palms over your pants and begin working.

Spencer tries to shake off the disappointed feeling he got from you not walking over to talk to him. Instead he tries to figure out what you were talking about. The sound of his phone vibrating in his bag cuts off his train of thought and he turns to pull it out. He smirks slightly seeing your name flash on the screen. The smile quickly disappears when he reads the text.

Y/l/n: Well I just found out JJ set me up on a blind date.

His stomach drops and he turns back to his desk still staring at his phone. Almost unable to process what he just read, his nerves grow from a spark to a flame quickly growing. He glances up at you, seeing you typing away on your assignments. Your calm demeanor throws him off even more. His fingers hover over the keys as his tongue pokes out from the corner of his mouth.

Spencer: Do you want to go?

Picking his pen back up he glares at his case files, dreading that the answer could be yes. He feels a slight headache forming as his thoughts consume his concentration. He just got you and now you're being whisked away?

"You okay kid?" Derek asks, walking up to Spencer. Spencer frowns and clears his throat before replying.

"Yeah, just a small headache." He says quietly, shooting a glare over at JJ and back to Derek.

"Hmm- so what happened to you last night? You left without saying goodbye to anyone." Derek taps his pen on the edge of Spencer's desk. His eyes shoot to the pen causing his annoyance to grow.

"I had a headache just like I do right now. When I get a headache I like peace and quiet." Spencer continues staring at the pen, his lips turning into a thin lipped smile. Derek frowns at the annoyance in Spencer's tone before taking the hint.

"Alright, alright I'll leave you alone." He holds his arms up defensively.

As you read his text you want to yell 'No, obviously not!' at him. You try to figure out what to say, but before you can think of a more eloquent response you hear Hotch call your name. You spin in your chair to see him watching you before turning back into his room. You make a face at Emily and she returns the 'oh shit' look you just gave her. You quickly type out a response to Spencer and hit send. It's not what you wanted to say, but you could have sent a whole paragraph if you had the time. Making your way up to his office you tap your knuckles lightly on the door.

Spencer hears his phone vibrate again and quickly picks it up.

Y/l/n: I think it'll look weird if I say no.

He stares at the phone slightly confused, his insecurities start to rise. Does she want to go? Did she realize that after last night she didn't really like me? He shoves his phone in his pocket and grabs the pastry box, leaving them at the kitchen. He pushes the door open and feels his insecurities brewing. Rushing into the bathroom he steps into the small stall. How could I let this happen? He rubs his forehead to try ease the headache growing by the second. Everything he was scared of begins to wash over him. His worst fear being that you didn't feel the same way about him, hits him like a wave crashing down. The restroom door slamming shakes him from his thoughts.

"Come in." Hotch says keeping his eyes on the papers he's reading over.

"Is everything okay, sir?" You ask walking in and taking a seat across from him. Crossing your leg you rest your hands on your knee. Hoping the position wouldn't show your slight anxiousness towards his authority, you stared at him with wide eyes waiting for him to speak.

"You were late today." He finally looks up at you, frowning. You can feel your cheeks turning red as you begin to answer him.

"I know, I'm sorry. I wasn't feeling well last night and it carried over into this morning." You try to sit straight, not wanting to show off any of your tells. His seriousness didn't help calm your nerves. He stares at you for a moment trying to pick up on anything you might be giving away.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You're never late so I found it a little unusual when you weren't here on time." He says, still frowning. His tone is more relaxed now, and you slowly let out a breath of relief.

"Oh! Yeah, I'm fine. I think it was just one too many drinks last night." You look down, letting out a small chuckle. "Thank you though, for checking..." You grin back up at him. He actually returns the grin.

"Alright, make sure you get your case report done by the end of the day." He raises his eyebrows dismissing you. Walking back out to your desk you over exaggerate your breath of relief looking at Emily. She smiles in return. You notice Spencer isn't at his desk. You casually walk over to the glass doors to go look for him. Reaching them he walks back in, trying to quickly move past you. You reach out to touch his hand, but miss it.

Spencer could smell the same perfume from last night as he brushed past you through the doors. He stops for a split second, but continues to his desk. His frustration and anxiety stirring in his head and stomach.

You walk into the hallway stopping as you hear your phone ding. You hold your breath in hopes that it's Spencer.

Garcia: I enhanced the image for you, so now you're out of excuses!! Come to my lair, muahaha!

Spencer reads over your text a million more times biting the inside of his lip. He begins to type out a reply.

Can we talk at lunch?

The anxious feeling of paranoia keeps him from pressing send. What if she tells me last night was a mistake? Too afraid to face rejection he erases his text and frowns at his phone a little while longer.

"Oh good you're here! Come, come." Penelope waves you in. You can't help but smile at her.

"Alright, this better be good since you guys keep talking about how cute he is." You say with a slight annoyance in your tone.

"Just be thankful I worked my magic on fixing this picture, and I never said he was cute." Penelope uses her fluffy pen to point at the stranger on the screen. Leaning closer to the screen you scan over the now sharpened image, biting the inside of your cheek. You can see Penelope peering at you in the corner of your eye. He is handsome, but you try to keep a poker face.

"How tall is he? And really, how much did you guys really get to know him? You were drinking all night!" You scramble to find something to pick on.

"Um, did you forget who I am? After JJ brought up going on a date with you I turned into the profiler. He was in my interview chair, and I don't leave any stone unturned." She starts off almost as if you offended her. "He's number one on my most wanted list if he even looks at you the wrong way." She uses her fluffy pen to mimic a knife over her throat. "And he's tall." she whispers, scrunching her nose.

"I don't know... I still need some more time to think about it, but duly noted." You give Penelope a wink as you turn around to leave. Your thoughts immediately shift back to Spencer and you pull your phone out to see if he's replied, nothing. Walking back down the hallway you hear your phone ding and eagerly pull it out of your pocket.

Reid: You should go on the date.

Confused, you try to make sense of his response. Frozen in the hallway you feel yourself overthinking. What? Why does he want me to go? He seemed happy this morning, what happened? You don't reply and walk back into the bullpen, eyes watching Spencer the whole time. He's focused on his work, eyes never meeting yours. Trying to get your work done you can't help but watch Spencer more than normal throughout the day. You can't seem to catch his eye, but you're scared if you did they would tell you something you didn't want to see. Unable to figure out why he suddenly shut himself off from you, you pull your phone out. The one reason you had to say no just told you to say yes, so you let out a deep sigh and text JJ.

You: I guess I'll go.

You see JJ perk her head up and smile at you.

JJ: Great! I've already got everything set up so I'm glad you said yes :)

You: Of course you do. What's the plan?

JJ: I made reservations at that amazing place Rossi always takes us to.

You: Damn, you know me so well. Reservations for when?

JJ: I didn't want you to change your mind so I made them for tonight.

Your eyes widen, what does she mean tonight?! You put your phone down and start your work again, this time a little annoyed. Now you have to rush so you can leave early enough to get ready. Typing away at your computer you try not to think about the date, or Spencer.

"Alright y/n I will see you at 9! Don't be late!" JJ says pointing at you making her way out of the bullpen. You grin and nod at her.

"See you later." You try not to sound too frustrated.

You walk your papers up to Hotch's office, thankful that you got your work done in time. Spencer finishes packing his stuff into his bag and heads for the elevator. As you make your way back down you see him leaving. Quickly grabbing your things you try to catch him before he disappears in the elevator. All you want is for him to tell you not to go, and if you can catch him he might just say it. As you push through the glass doors you see him stepping into the elevator. Rushing over you slip inside right before the doors close. Your heart is beating harder and you stare at him begging him to even look at you at this point. You can see him tense up when you move closer to him. The heat pinging between the two of you, you move your hand to brush against his. At the same time the doors open and he urgently steps out.

"Spencer..." You try to find a way to articulate your thoughts before he walks outside.

"Y/n, it's fine, seriously. Have fun on your date." He says, the tight lipped smile returning. He finally looks at you before stepping outside. A sadness in his eyes contradicts the clearly forced grin on his face.

You feel a lump in your throat form as you try to process what he just said. Does he really not care if I go? Does he think I don't care? He can barely even look at me. You try to shake off the feeling of crying as you step out of the elevator to leave.

You're not even sure how you managed to get home, you don't even remember any of the drive. Your thoughts are too consumed with replaying each moment of today. Letting out a long deep breath you kick your shoes off stepping inside your apartment. You drop your stuff on the counter and shuffle to the bathroom to turn your shower on. Now you were determined to look as good as you could for tonight. If you were going to walk into this date feeling doubtful you at least wanted to know you looked hot. You turned your speaker on and blasted your favorite playlist for getting ready. You did not want your shower thoughts to be consumed over how Spencer made you feel today.

Stepping out of the shower you wrapped your hair up and dried off. After moisturizing and throwing on some clothes, you pulled your makeup out and got to work. Finishing the look off with some lashes you unwrapped your hair and began to blow dry it. You decided on soft curls and made your way over to your closet. You already had an idea of what you wanted to wear. Knowing this restaurant was more upscale you were able to dress up a little bit more than usual. You pulled out your favorite black dress. It stopped just below the knee but hugged all your curves. The neckline was just revealing enough. Zipping up the low cut back you looked at yourself in the mirror, smiling a little. You slipped on your strappy heels and your favorite necklace. The final touch of perfume was all you needed. Spritzing some on you checked your phone, 8:42. Luckily the restaurant was just a 15 minute drive away. You locked the door behind you and got into your car. You texted JJ to let her know you were on the way. First date nerves started to take over you, but you were still having trouble getting your mind to switch gears from Spencer. Shaking the thoughts of him away with some music you began to drive.

Pulling up to the restaurant the valet took your keys to park your car. Stepping in you held onto your clutch a little tighter looking around for JJ and Will. Luckily Wills' accent stood out from the crowd at the bar, and you made your way over to them.

"Hey! Oh my god you look good." JJ raises an eyebrow at you as she scans your outfit. She hands you a glass of your favorite drink.

"Thanks, so do you. Is he here yet?" You smile at JJ as a thank you for the drink. You take a sip, praying that it'll calm your nerves.

"No, but he should be here any minute." Will replies and JJ searches around for him before her face lights up. You feel your heart rate start to build as she waves at the stranger. "There he is." She nods towards him approaching behind you.

"Hey, nice to see you again." He greets JJ and Will with handshakes and turns his attention towards you. JJ begins to introduce the two of you.

"Y/n this is Luke, Luke this is Y/n!" She raises a brow at you, the look in her eye saying 'told you so'.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

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