canibereal0405 - Tumblr blog

[canibereal0405]

07/03/17

Today I went to work as always and it was a beautiful day out. Picturesque in every way. I saw the colors brighter and the day was just good. But I was lonely and anxious. I felt incapable and scared. I have no idea how sunny beautiful days can strike me as so incredibly daunting. Just beautiful to start so they can end in tragedy. Because what comes up must come down.

[canibereal0405]

I’m still not over my sad past and I don’t think I will ever be.

Lana Del Rey (via thoughtkick)

[canibereal0405]

[canibereal0405]

[canibereal0405]

Omg! 5/11/17 continued...

So tonight I was scrolling through Pinterest and I came across a pin about cleaning your microwave: and mind you I am not the kind of asshole who believes that busy moms with kids don't have a need for a microwave but it still strikes me as terrifying that microwaves as unhealthy and simple as they are still remain one of the most frequently used forms of cookery. I mean for fucks sake none of us would survive a zombie apocalypse at this rate

[canibereal0405]

5/11/17

Today I got out of work and I told myself that I needed to do about twelve different things. I am currently laying on my couch watching pretty little liars like the girl I know I am. I'm so tired and every second of every day that I am awake I feel like I should sleep. I miss waking up excited for every new day to make it's incredible start. I need this. I need my small moments. Without them I lose a little bit of me every day.

[canibereal0405]

05/10/17

I asked myself today if everything I do is worth my time. Is it worth my time to tell my coworkers "it's alright nothing stays bad forever". Is it worth my time every time I wake up and get dressed and put on my brave face? I guess she makes it worth it. I suppose my daughter makes every day worth it. However in all honesty if I am really a good mother I have to know how to separate my happiness from my own child's happiness. She is the best but she cannot be the only reason I smile...so I guess the mission I am on starting now is and or should be... why should I smile for me. Why am I happy with myself in a way that doesn't involve someone else or their influence. -sincerely the girl who still wonders And sadly still cares