cann1balgirl - Tumblr blog

[cann1balgirl]

[cann1balgirl]

[cann1balgirl]

6:27 11 Feb

tw//sh,, suicidal thoughts

i broke a sharpener i guess relapsing was worth a try but it didn’t work, still having constant panic attacks and feeling like shit. i was meant to see a friend, i really wanted to be there for him, hes suicidal again and one small thing could push him over the edge but i had a panic attack as soon as i tried to leave, had to cancel, i really hope that i wasn’t the one to push him over. if i was being honest hes one of the only people i have left, i can’t fuck that up.

[cann1balgirl]

[cann1balgirl]

10:59 11 Feb

tw//sh

i can’t leave the house without having a massive panic attack and i hate it, i haven’t been to school in almost two week and i just want to cry i can’t see anyone or do anything and it’s all about my stupid appearance. if i don’t look fucking better perfect and i just start panicking and i don’t want anyone to see me, i keep doing this to myself and i fucking hate it, i just want to see them and i can’t. i keep promising to them that i’ll be there but then i panic and i can’t leave and it makes me feel horrible and guilty and like total fucking shit,, not to mention the fact that this started happening again when i was about three weeks clean of sh, i think i’m going to having to start again if i’m going to be able to see the light of day again

[cann1balgirl]

[cann1balgirl]

[cann1balgirl]

gonna post some pretty gore here :)))

[cann1balgirl]

12:03 11 Feb

my stomach is in p a i n it feels like there’s a tiny demon inside of me crawling to get out,,, it’s really making me feel the need to puke, gah maybe i should try to sleep

[cann1balgirl]

gonna start a diary here to scream all my feelings,, i think this will go well ^^