captainwho77

[captainwho77]

Knock before you walk in: Yang

“Jeez what is taking those two long?” Weiss asked as Team (R)WBY and (J)NOR were waiting for both team leaders to be present for their night out. “Why don’t you go and see what’s taking those two all night to get down?” She turned to Yang as she gave her an annoyed look 

“Fine.” She walks towards her dorm room to hear some noises, something squeaking...repeatedly...Oh gods no....Opening the door slowly she saw it....those two...

“OH GOD JAUNE! YES!” Ruby shouted as Yang was looking in horror as she saw her sister riding the blonde dork, on his OH DEAR GODS NO!

Running back to the others Yang tried to keep it together but was failing 

“And where are those two?” Weiss asked 

“T...they’re....not coming...they’re sick....”

“Are they alright? I heard some moaning.” Oscar asked only to be grabbed by Yang by his shirt 

“THEY’RE FINE LETS GO!” Yang shout as everyone left in a hurry. 

Hours later, Yang and Weiss sat in a room as the others left for the night, Weiss was determined to know why Ruby and Jaune weren’t coming despite it was their idea in the first place.

“So....any particular reason why Ruby and Jaune didn’t come out with us?” She asked with a smirk

“....n..no...” 

“Oh really? Then why didn’t you drag your sister out? Was it because the blond doof giving her a massage? Was she letting him rest his tiresome head on her lap? Or was it because-”

“I SAW HIM RAILING HER HARD AND SHE WAS ENJOYING IT!” Yang shouted as Weiss’s expression turned for the worse as she turned from Smug into horrified as she held onto Yang as she broke down 

“Yang I am so sorry!”

“IT’S NOT JUST THAT WEISS! BUT THE RUMOR ABOUT THE ARCS ARE TRUE!” 

“Rumors?” 

“Arc’s are known for being dominate in beds, and he fits the bill...”

“.....Damn it.”

[captainwho77]

A Large Family

Weiss: Jaune?! What the hell is wrong with your family!?

Jaune: Hmm? What are you talking about?

Weiss: Why is your family like this?! You're poor mom...

Jaune: Mom, and Dad just wanted a big family. Besides, my Mom's got enough Aura to handle this, and luckily so does my Dad... That poor man...

Weiss: But, eight kids...?!

Jaune: Hey, if my Dad didn't get a vasectomy I would have a lot, a lot more siblings...

Weiss: Are they that much of a pair of horn dogs?!

Jaune: No! They just love each other that much! You know, this isn't about me having such a big family, is it?

Weiss: What are you talking about?

Jaune: This isn't about how big my family is! This is all about how much my parents, sometimes too much, love each other! And, how much your parents don’t love each other! You're just jealous of how much my parents loves each other!

Weiss: ...

Jaune: ...?

Weiss: ...

Weiss: Whaaaaaa! Ah-ha-ha!!!

Jaune: ...

Weiss: (Sobbing uncontrollably intensifies)

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Oh shit…

[captainwho77]

Smut: Mama Arc would peg Raven hard if the bandit would threaten the lives of their family. 

Broke: jaune's mom is a milf

Woke: jaune's mom is a overly protective mother that worries about her children.

[captainwho77]

*September 1st on Tumblr*

[captainwho77]

He has a brother named Melvin

joker is a bottom

[captainwho77]

The Arc Family

10 years ago. Little Jaune is playing with his toys until…

Saphron: *Grabs one of his toys* What's this?

Jaune: Hey that's mine!

Saphron: I don’t see you name one it.

Jaune: Dad gave it to me! Give it back!

Saphron: Nah, I think I'm going to keep it.

Jaune: *Jumps to try to grab it* It’s mine!

Saphron: *Keeps the toy out of his reach* You need to jump higher than that.

Jaune: Stop it!

Saphron: Or what? What are you gonna do about it?

Jaune: *Serious* You don't want to know.

Saphron: *Smug* Try me.

Jaune: *Start fake crying* Mom! Saphron is mean to me!

Mama Arc: *From far away* Saphron! What did you do to your brother?!

Saphron: What?! I did nothing!

Jaune: *crying* She hit me and took my toy!

Saphron: I did not!!

Mama Arc: *Arrives* Saphron Arc, Why did you hit your brother?! Go to your room right now!

Saphron: But I-

Mama Arc: To your room!!! *Picks up jaune* My poor baby. Come on, let's go to the kitchen and have some cookies, ok?

Jaune: *Calms down* *Sniff* Ok

As they walk away, Jaune turns to see his sister and gives her a smug face.

Saphron: (That little shit!)

[captainwho77]

Reblog if you like Jaune x Harem or Jaune x Crossover ships.

[captainwho77]

[captainwho77]

Gonna need a lot of milk for those cookies (Kind of NSFW)

(Alternative timeline where Team RWBY’s older than Jaune)

Inspiration from BurpleNurpless (NSFW Art): https://rule34.paheal.net/post/view/4901400#search=RWBY

Ruby Rose was a king and innocent woman to everyone, however for her neighbour Jaune, she was something more of a predator looking for something to snack on. The woman moved into his neighbourhood for the past ten years, he’d remembered the stories she and her team would do by his sisters. The greatest huntress of all time, turning grimm into stone and impressing everyone with her gun mechanic skills. 

When she moved in, she acted like anyone else would coming into a new neighbourhood, kind, sweet and respectful towards her neighbours. 

It was however until Jaune turned seventeen he noticed that she was becoming more...intimate with her affections towards him, mostly just wearing the smallest bikini when she asks him to come over for a swim, more being close to him for “Warmth” when it was snowing. It came clear for him that she wanted more, but he doesn’t know why.

One night she asks him to come over for dinner, only for her house to be smelled like scented candles and had classical music being played in the background, it also didn’t helped that Ruby was wearing a night gown that was too big for her size, showing some skin, and nothing to cover it

“um...Ms. Rose”

“Please Jaune, call me Ruby.” 

“Do you mind telling me...what’s going on here?”

“Isn’t it oblivious darling?”

“No I mean I get it. It’s just...you don’t usually act this way?”

“What you mean?” She was disappointed “Don’t you like me this way?”

“Ms.Ro-I mean Ruby, this isn’t you..I mean...you usually like to tinker with your guns and play video games, not trying to act fancy just to impress me.”

“...Ok I give. I asked Weiss for some help getting you interested in me...”

“But why?”

“To be honest, I really like you. I know it’s weird for a grown woman to fallen for someone younger than you...but you’re one of the few people I know who gets me...”

“What do you mean?”

“I may be a huntress but that doesn’t mean I’m any different from anyone else. I’m not doing this just for fame or fortune, I just want to help people....whenever I’m with you...you treat me like anyone else. That’s why...I lik-I love you.” She looked at him, hoping she didn’t made the biggest mistake of her life, only to be kissed on the lips by him

“Ruby, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble, of course I love you that way too. Just promise me that you don’t change yourself for me. Okay?” Her eyes gleamed as she swooped in a began kissing him like crazy. After a few minutes turned into hours of kissing, then into love making.

-The Next morning-

The two were finishing eating dinner as Ruby was still wearing the loose night gown while Jaune was only in his boxers, after a night like that, he might as well get used to only wear like that in the morning.

“How’s the eggs Ruby?”

“Amazing. Just like you.”

“Thanks.”

“Maybe I can repay you in a certain way.”

“How so? Maybe with your cookies?”

“Nope. And those are off-limits mister!” she said while slapping him “No I mean...some of the girls are also kind of...interested in you...and I was wondering if it’s okay if I...share with them?”

“...are you asking me to...wow...I didn’t you would mind.”

“When your a team of huntresses who can’t have full time relationships, you kind of need a break once in a while. So is it okay if you could do that?”

“Alright. But only If I could get some cookies from it.”

She sighed as she grabbed a plate of her homemade cookies 

“Fine. But since we’re out of milk-” She pulls her right side of her gown opened “You might want to drink an alternative.”

[captainwho77]

FNV - The Gang Meets Cass - Part 1

The gang meets Rose of Sharon Cassidy. Like most things they get involved in, the situation quickly spirals out of control.

PART 2

[captainwho77]

HOLY FUCK

[captainwho77]

[captainwho77]

*Jaune seeing all the Sexual tension in team RWBY*

Jaune: fuck you can cut the sexual tension with a knife, give your tits a tug

Weiss: Fuck you Jaune

Jaune: Fuck you Weiss, go scoop it of Winters floor for me, she give my nipples butterfly kisses

Ruby: Fuck you Jaune!

Jaune: Fuck you Ruby, Penny shot cum strait across the room and killed Siamese fighting fish, threw off the PH levels in my aquariam you piece of shit

Yang: Fuck you Jaune, do you hear yourself!?

Jaune: Fuck you Yang, Should’ve heard Raven last night, she sounded like window closing on a tonkinese cats tail, sounded like: “AHHHHHH!”

Blake: Fuck you Jaune!

Jaune: Fuck you Blake, should’ve hear Kali last night, she sounded like my great aunt when I pull a surprise visit, she was like: “OOOOOOOH!”

Weiss: …Fuck you Jaune!

Jaune: Fuck you Weiss, Willow sneaky gushed so hard she bucked me off the Water bed, don’t tell her I was thinking about Penny the entire time

Yang: Fuck you Jaune!

Jaune: Fuck you Yang, Raven and Kali ugly cried because they left the lens cap on the camcorder last night, it’s fucking amateur hour over there

RWBY: FUCK YOU JAUNE!

[captainwho77]

YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS

[captainwho77]

Resources For Writing Sketchy Topics

Medicine

A Study In Physical Injury

Comas

Medical Facts And Tips For Your Writing Needs

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All About Mechanical Injuries (Injuries Caused By Violence)

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Portraying a kleptomaniac.

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