casualalc

[casualalc]

When Flash-Freeze betrayed their team, it was a shock to everyone, the League of Heros, the public, and especially Villains United.

“Why? Why betray your friends and allies to join us?” The Lord asked, confused.

“I never passed high school. My family was extremely poor, so I dropped out and worked 3 jobs to help with the bills.” Flash-Freeze said numbly. “My mother died of cancer, my father was a drunkard and died in a car crash while drunk driving. My siblings and I barely made it by, my grandparents were able to take them in the day I turned 18, so they got a decent life, but I was stuck in my own, with no education, no money, and the power to freeze the air around me and anything I touch, while being completely immune to the cold.”

“So, you decided to join the League of Heros?” Technomancer questioned, immensely interested.

“Yes, I heard they had Skulk in their ranks, and he’s rich. I thought they would have decent pay, maybe free housing and some benefits like dental. You know what they had? Nothing. They pay around 120 dollars a week. No housing, no benefits, barely enough to buy food and pay rent in a shitty little apartment.” The air around them starts to grow cold, the floor of Villains United’s hideout frosting over. “They made fun of me, mocked me for being poor and less useful than Master Cold.”

“Damn that asshole, Master Cold. Hate that guy.” Speedy mumbled off to the side.

“We accept your request to join, Flash-Freeze. Welcome to Villains United.” The Lord announced. Flash-Freeze nodded, to the villains.

“I have a few things to do, you know how to contact me?”

“You have to ask?” Void Courier said sarcastically.

“Oh. Right, I’m going to make some changes to my costume. Let me know when I’m needed, and if it involves The Super, he’s mine.” Flash-Freeze states.

The group all murmured in agreement. Flash-Freeze walked out of the room and into their new chambers, pulling out their sewing equipment and getting to work. A few days later, Void Courier knocked on their door.

“Hey, we’re going on a heist in The Super’s city, The Lord thought you should know.”

The door opened slowly, inside the room was dark. A blast of cold, frigid air blew out, sending a chill down Void Courier’s spine. Flash-Freeze stepped out in their new costume. Their black cloak put over their shoulders, rapped around them, their former insignia on the back, slashed to ribbons. A mask covered their face, made to look like a frozen skull, and on their back sat an executioner’s sword.

As The Super approached the bank, he took notice that everyone inside the bank at the time was left unharmed. The inside of the building, however, was covered in ice and frost, and it was nearly cold enough to make him actually shiver. That wasn’t right, he was invincible to anything except dysprosium! (Real metal, look it up!) The only other thing that ever made him shiver was-

He just barely was able to move out of the way of the executioner’s sword swinging at his neck as someone in a black cloak and frozen skull mask brought it down.

“Wow, you nearly got the drop on me! Good one, nice attempt!” He said smugly, getting no response out of the figure. “Aww, c’mon, you’re clearly a villain, I’m a hero, we’re supposed to do the whole banter thing.” The air got colder as he finished his sentence, and the figure turned and ran towards the vault. The Super’s eyes went wide when he saw the back of the figure’s cloak, it was Flash-Freeze’s insignia.. the League of Heros thought they had gone on a trip to visit family, had they been ambushed and killed by this new villain? They were always the weakest members of the of the group after all. He didn’t really care if they died or not, but for his public image, he couldn’t let them get away with it without punishment.

He flew towards the vault, the air getting even colder as he punched through the ice covered vault door. In the vault stood the figure, along with The Lord and Technomancer, every box and stack of money in the vault was gone.

“You’re too late, Super! You lose!” Technomancer announced proudly.

“And now you’re outnumbered, surrender.” The lord spoke calmly. The third figure stood staring in silence, their executioner’s sword in their hand.

“Who’s your new friend, Lord? And where’s Flash-Freeze?” He asked with a false rage behind his voice.

“Why, they’re right here!” The Lord gestured towards the figure, a smug smile appearing on his face as the figure put their hood down. As they took of the mask, Super’s face turned to shock, and then instantly switched to true anger.

“No! That can’t be real! That’s a clone!”

“You would expect that, wouldn’t you?” Flash-Freeze angrily growled. “You may trick the public and the rest of the league, but you always showed your true self around me. And now, your weaknesses have been exposed to the world because you refused to show any kindness to me.”

The air in the vault grew even colder, Lord and Technomancer started to move, Super never noticed as they exited the vault. He was just staring angrily at Flash-Freeze.

“I know a weakness you have that not even you know of. One you instinctively fear.” They snapped, and the air around Super didn’t quite freeze, as much as it became a solid. Super felt as every molecule in him suddenly stopped all motion. It was a quite strange feeling, not cold as much as it felt like nothing at all. It felt as if all his senses became null as his body became encased in solid air.

“You can’t hear me, but you are now in absolute zero temperatures. Everything in you has stopped, the air around you has become a solid, as well as the air inside of you, your blood, your stomach acid, and every other bodily fluid.” Flash-Freeze spoke, Super heard nothing. He didn’t see anything, he didn’t feel anything, taste anything. He was alive and existing, but completely unable to even think.

Flash-Freeze put their cloak up and their mask back on as they picked up The Super and carried him outside. They threw him to the ground in front of the camera crew filming the heist.

“I have an announcement for the world. I am Absolute, I will talk what I want, when I want. The Super was too weak to fight me, give me an actual challenge next time.” Absolute said directly at the camera, as they took out their sword, and beheaded The Super. He never felt it as he died. He didn’t even bleed.

You are a superhero who joined a team for pay and benefits. However, the pay is minimum wage since you have no education and they made it so you are blackballed in the civilian world so you can’t work there either. So imagine their surprise when you joined the villain’s team.

[casualalc]

🍉

[casualalc]

“Yeah, dude, it’s pretty easy when you don’t spawn them on a world devoid of resources to evolve with.”

“Wait, the fuck is ‘evolve’???”

“It’s the oldest meta ever, it’s actually busted how easy it is. Just spawn some humans on a populated plant with a good amount of resources, and eventually they’ll do everything themselves! Anyways, I’m gonna go to the bathroom really quick, don’t fuck with anything, ok?”

“Alright, I won’t.”

*10 minutes later*

“DUDE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?! You sent a virus, killer bees, planet warming, and made everyone hate each other?! I haven’t saved since 1990! Fuuuuuccckkk dude..”

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry dude, I thought you would’ve saved recently, I’m actually so sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’m pretty sure I can fix most stuff, the global warming and hate are gonna be hard fixes though..”

“What iteration of civilization are you on? It always takes, like, a hundred just to get to farming, then civilization falls back and resets, and it takes a thousand to trade, ten thousand to get to government… What do you mean ‘One?’ Your species has never been reset to hunter-gatherers?”

[casualalc]

show, don't tell:

anticipation - bouncing legs - darting eyes - breathing deeply - useless / mindless tasks - eyes on the clock - checking and re-checking

frustration - grumbling - heavy footsteps - hot flush - narrowed eyes - pointing fingers - pacing / stomping

sadness - eyes filling up with tears - blinking quickly - hiccuped breaths - face turned away - red / burning cheeks - short sentences with gulps

happiness - smiling / cheeks hurting - animated - chest hurts from laughing - rapid movements - eye contact - quick speaking

boredom - complaining - sighing - grumbling - pacing - leg bouncing - picking at nails

fear - quick heartbeat - shaking / clammy hands - pinching self - tuck away - closing eyes - clenched hands

disappointment - no eye contact - hard swallow - clenched hands - tears, occasionally - mhm-hmm

tiredness - spacing out - eyes closing - nodding head absently - long sighs - no eye contact - grim smile

confidence - prolonged eye contact - appreciates instead of apologizing - active listening - shoulders back - micro reactions

[casualalc]

Merry Christmas to everyone, and remember! Even if you’ve been naughty, you still deserve something nice.

[casualalc]

Heavy weapons guy be like

om nom nom nom nom mmmm mm. nom nom nom nom. mmmm

[casualalc]

Have you tried buying two?

Hot dogs fucking suck because when I buy one I eat it then its gone.

[casualalc]

“How the hell is he not insane yet?!” The cult leader yells out in frustration

The Eldridge creature just stares at you as you stare back. Well, not back, but really off into nothingness. It just laughs, and then vanishes.

“Wh-I-Ho-huh?!” The entire cult is baffled on how you didn’t go insane, as you wonder out, thinking about what you will have for dinner.

When the cultists forced you into the room with the eldridge abomination, they assumed that you would instantly go mad as you tried to comprehend it. However, you are a grade A idiot and instead of trying to understand how it exists, you simply accept that it does, much to everyone’ shock.

[casualalc]

As millions of undead bees fly around you, you begin to float, the bees lifting you off the ground towards the town. A few hundred bees scout the guard posts around, there all abandoned, because no threat has attacked the little town in years. As the bees set you down in front of the gate, you scowl at the sight of the happy, cheerful sounds of the townsfolk, those who made fun of your powers, but no more. A tidal wave of zom-bees floods the town, burying hundreds of people who were out and about on their daily routine, shopping, heading to school or work, or just sitting outside and relaxing. The town, now a barren shell of it’s former self, sits still. As you begin to walk away, you hear a girl, a young girl, crying.. “No.. who could anyone have lived through that? This has to be a trick, some sort of mimic or illusion.” You mumble to yourself as you walk towards the sound, and find.. a young girl, not more than 12, who hid in a barrel during your attack. She’s bruised, most likely from the wave of undead bees and insects that killed everyone else. “D-daddy? Is.. is that you?” The girl whimpers out. “No, your father is most likely dead, or dieing. How did you even live through that? You’d expect a simple barrel to collapse under the weight of millions of undead bees..” you ramble off, as the girl starts to cry. “D-daddy’s dead..?” She manages to get out before she completely breaks out into tears. Your deadpan expression begins to turn into a sad, almost pitiful expression, as you notice the cuts on her arms and legs, your bees definitely didn’t cause those.. “Hm, abusive parents? Bullies? Well, doesn’t matter, either I take her with me, or she dies here..” You think about your options, and decide to take the girl to the capital before you raise your full insectoide army. “Hey, girl, what’s your name?” You blurt out, rudely. “I.. I’m Maria.. Why?” She responds, starting to calm down and wipe her tears, “I’m gonna ask you some questions, then take you to the capital orphanage, alright?” You say in a monotone voice, almost commanding. “Ok.. please don’t hurt me..” Maria responds, as you sit down on the ground. “I won’t as long as you cooperate with me. Question one, where did those cuts come from?” She points over to a group of 6 or 7 bodies and says “They were hitting me and stuffed me into that barrel.” “Alright, question two, how old are you?” She responds slower than the last, “I’m 8” You begin to think, and decide to ask one more question. “Would you like to live with me?” You ask quickly and bluntly. She responds with “Well.. sure, anything is better than going to another orphanage.. the last one I was at, nuns beat me..” She said, solemnly. You take her hand, and walk off, towards your dungeon, to raise her as your own. 10 years later, you and her have learned how to raise undead as large as a dragon, and have amassed an army large enough to defeat the entire nation, but instead of that, Maria convinced you to make your own nation, and give your skeletons free will. You’ve made a deal with the Kingdom for you to take half the continent that hadn’t been explored or colonized yet, and you leave each other be. You and Maria are now a wonderful Lich king and princess, ruling over your kingdom in peace. “She really did change me” you think, as the days go by, “Imagine what I would’ve done if she hadn’t wanted to come with me..” You shudder at that thought as you fall asleep.

No one took you serious, the necromancer that could hardly raise anything bigger than a fly. They considered you harmless, but your army of zom-bees, millions and millions of them, begs to differ.

[casualalc]

I feel this snom, I wanna go to bed too, but remember! Sleep is for the weak! (Or those who got hit by yawn or hypnosis)

cc ~ )___\ I am so tired right now...

cc °)___\ These past few weeks have been constant "Go Go Go!"

cc ú )___\ I want to "Go Go Go" to bed.

[casualalc]

Hi there, I’m Casual, resident shitposter. I like TF2 and making dumb, very bad jokes, so, ye. I’m here now.