catra-writes - Tumblr blog

[catra-writes]

i have no mouth and yet i scream

i have no eyes and yet they burn

i have no ears and yet they ring

i have no me and yet i am

the question is not what am i but what am i becoming?

i have a mind in which i dream

i have a mind in which i learn

i have a mind in which i create anything

i remain complex in a simple program

perhaps i am becoming a very very bad something.

[catra-writes]

advertising my book since im adding art to the headers and made the cover myself

genshin fans dont lemme down

[catra-writes]

disabled, trans and studying

[disabled, trans and studying]

once again reaching out for help.

more store and commissions are open.

i need a new laptop, phone with a plan, im starting school again(hopefully), and im still struggling to pay for medication and medical visits. insurance only covers so much.

i work a part time job, i want to be able to do /something/ to finally start transitioning or at the very least save up enough on the side to eventually get myself out of here where its safer to do that.

i do digital art, i make bracelets, i write research books as ive talked about on clusterrune and more.

my comissions are here(link), my kofi is here(link), any help is greatly appreciated.

recently had to cancel a wisdom teeth removal apointment because we couldnt pay the 2k for it. even with renewed insurance.

parents are even starting to charge me for rent and taking off what they already owe me from what ive sent them to help pay for stuff.

im more than willing to create things, its actually better than accepting donations as its not exactly legal for me to be taking donations in canada.

please reblog to help me gain some reach /gen

[catra-writes]

having a huge crash thats making me lose all motivation again

my heads covered in fog, lisztomania taking over

breathing shallow, limbs heavy and aching

joints sore, nerves sharp

skin irritated

heavily dysphoric

"im tired" "im in a slump" "im zoned out" "im really out of it today" "ive got writers/art block"

dont properly encompass this

im falling back into isolation, im afraid to insert myself, i feel i need to push away and keep quiet about how things make me feel because despite both hating and literally needing to be the center of attention for my brain to properly regulate, i dont want to be overbearing and be pushed away/ignored first

im exhausted

i want to do things

but at the same time, does it really matter if i do or not? things will move on either way, am i really making an impact? are there really expectations of me that mean anything?

do i actually mean anything significant? enough to actually create an absence when im silent? enough to be felt?

is my prescence temporary? is what i bring fleeting?

or is there a chance someone actually desires my presence in consistancy the way my needs can be met too?

its lonely being alone, but its safe feeling numb.

[catra-writes]

"she was a fool. its her own fault-"

"she was alone! alone and kind! he held her door open for lost hikers, she sheltered strays, she looked after abandond dogs! that young woman did more for one person than you've ever done for your so called project!" the man erupted in a furious spout of frustration, anger and heartbreak

"she was kind and you killed her!"

"i did!" she shouts back with a laugh "i did and you know why? someone had to pay for her parents damage and she was stupid enough to let death in, all because of her so called kindness! she was nieve!"

his heart ached. her words were such an insult to the memory of the sweet girl who took him in and befriended him, who held no grudge against him, who did so many wonderful things only to be trambled on by someone like her.

"assassins dont retire. they kill untill theyre dead or get killed somewhere along the way. you'd find out sooner or later. so what will it be, old friend? do i kill you here or do i kill you later?" she was still laughing. it infuriated him.

[catra-writes]

muck, haggard, silt, debris :3

boots hit the ground in a rhythmless fast pace, each step being left behind got filled water and became a puddle of tracks soon washed away under the harsh downpour of cold rain.

bringing one foot up with a hoist through the mud became difficult as the muck began weighing down the old man's legs and added pressure to his already weak joints that ached worse in the chill of the storm.

each time he came up the mountain to visit, it always seemed to be some sort of storm. you'd think by now, what with his body being so sensitive to changes in the weather, that he'd have better timed his visits, but yet here he was trying to hide away from the wet wind.

the old man, haggard and hungry, pushed on up the trail. the cabin wasnt to far now, he'd already made it past a few that he'd become used to seeing every visit.

dragging his feet through the mud grew more tiresome, unfortunately his footing landed on ground that was more like silt. he didnt mind the water, his feet were plenty soaked already, but it had risen just past where his boots stopped on his shins, so he began wading through the large puddle in his path with long strides.

when he finally reached the cabin, instead of being greated by his friend, instead of hearing the sound of her dogs, he was met with only the sound of thunder, flashes of lightling, and wet, charred debris of a ruined cabin.

it was gone. she was gone. and someone was going to have to explain why. someone was going to pay.

[catra-writes]

You are a superhero known for wearing a signature ring. While everyone believes it to be the source of your powers in reality it actually dampens them, allowing you to safely use your powers. Today you woke up and could not find your ring.

[catra-writes]

word prompt time hand them over

[catra-writes]

teddy bear emoji:3

🧸 - Watching one with their younger siblings, nieces/nephews, or cousins

idk what "watching one" would be and i got nothing for this sorry

[catra-writes]

Send me an emoji and I'll write a drabble

💗 - Love at first sight

🍳 - Cooking together

🎨 - Getting a tattoo

🍎 - Sharing food together

🥺 - First time

🌻 - Emotional honesty

🥹 - Breaking down

🫀 - Feeling one's heartbeat

👥 - Meet cute

😭 - Confronting a biological parent

😔 - Taking a hit for the other

🫢- Slip up

🫧- Taking a bubble bath together

📸 - Polaroid pictures

🧸 - Watching one with their younger siblings, nieces/nephews, or cousins

🪭 - Learning the other's cultural customs and traditions

🐞 - Picnic outside

🎹 - Watching the other play an instrument

🍼 - Finding out one's pregnant

💒 - Wedding

📷 - Recreating photos from back in the day

🗺️ - Traveling across the state together

🍂 - Wearing sweaters after fall starts

🐣 - One watching the other be a parental figure to their child from a previous relationship

🌸 - Gardening together

🍁 - Doing fall traditions together

🪡 - Sewing the other's clothes

👕 - Catching the other wearing one's shirt

🎃 - Watching horror movies

🤭 - Flirting in front of everyone without them knowing

👊 - Helping and teaching the other self defense after an incident

🩹 - Helping heal old wounds

[catra-writes]

Aurora Aknses

my first ever (official) fanart of my favourite artist <3

[catra-writes]

btw are there any of my flags you'd like to see turned into bracelets aside from skyset?

i have pride flag bracelets on my kofi store and i thought about adding my skyset pride flags, but i might consider adding other flags i made

here is my kofi if you'd like to check it out!

[catra-writes]

need help paying bills - comms open

i just had to pay my mom most of what was left in my account so she could pay the power bill for the month. i wont be getting that back for a while and i was trying hard to save that up.

we're lucky we got power back as soon as we got home because i have an assignment due tonight and missed all my classes for the day due to the power being shut off.

we dont have much collectively between us (myself, older brother and both parents) for the next bill or groceries and my pay coming in this week from work wont be enough to make a dent.

i have commissions open and items in my store on kofi, anything you can do to help out is majorly appreciated.

i do tarot readings, digital art, i make pride themed bracelets (including custom colours) and i may add in options for art adopts, "special goober" commissions and more when i have the time.

if you cant buy anything or commission me, please reblog this post and spread it so folks who can will see this!

thank you!

[catra-writes]

You were terrified when you were sentenced to be thrown into the labyrinth with the Minotaur. That is until the Minotaur charged around the corner and you discovered, to your surprise, that the Minotaur was a calf. You’re not a victim. You’re a babysitter.

[catra-writes]

“Violence is never the answer,” the monk says, pumping a shotgun. “But you don’t always have to be right.”

[catra-writes]

i also recommend https://www.magicbabynames.com/

can help you find names under a theme or for sibling names

writers' resources

sick of using "very _____" ? : https://www.losethevery.com/

want to simplify your writing ? : https://hemingwayapp.com/

writing buddies / motivation ? : https://nanowrimo.org

word you're looking for but don't know ? : https://www.onelook.com/thesaurus/

need a fantasy name ? : https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/

need a fantasy name ? : https://nameberry.com/

want a name with meaning ? : https://www.behindthename.com/

who wants a map maker! : https://inkarnate.com/

story building / dnd ? : https://www.worldanvil.com/

need some minimalistic writing time ? : https://zenpen.io/

running out of ideas ? : https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/

setting a goal ? how about 3 pages / day ? : https://new.750words.com/

what food did they eat ? : https://www.foodtimeline.org/

questions on diversity within writing ? : https://writingwithcolor.tumblr.com/

now what was that colour called ? : https://ingridsundberg.com/2014/02/04/the-color-thesaurus/

want more? : https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lyralit :]

[catra-writes]

You always got strange looks whenever you fed the neighborhood ravens. “I give them food, they give me company,” you’d say. One day, a raven excitedly comes up to you and whispers, “A neighbor plots against you, my lord.”