certifiedhyperfixator

[certifiedhyperfixator]

effort

why does it seem that despite my best efforts hardly anything ever seems to go my way? putting my 100% into everything i do ends up giving me a worse result than those who seem to half-ass their way through life i tried my best so why am i still failing? it seems so unfair that people who don't try can still do better than me when i have put in so much sweat and tears all the nights i have cried because i wasn't good enough and yet sometimes i even believe that i have done very well but those around me seem to think otherwise and i can't do anything but defer to their expertise because they are deemed more professional than me but for once i just want my results to reflect my efforts because goodness knows i've tried

[certifiedhyperfixator]

care

i seem to be terribly prone to caring too much about practically everything in the world people always say to calm down that it’s not a big deal and i’m always hung up about things but i can’t help myself i care too much about people i hardly know and their perceptions of me easily impact how i perceive myself i do horribly with moderation and being nonchalant as those aren’t words in my vocabulary if anything happens i will always be euphorically happy or profoundly sad or exceptionally furious that is why numbness scares me it is an uncommon thing to me and when i do experience it sometimes it hurts even more than living all those other extreme emotions i am likely the textbook definition of what some may call a “tryhard” i need to be good at something or else there’s nothing good about me and i either care too much about people or despise them with a passion neutrality or indifference are slightly strange that’s not to say it is impossible for me to feel indifferent about things but when i do it takes me aback because the lack of concern makes me feel hollow and i would rather feel anything at all than feel empty

[certifiedhyperfixator]

delusion

i don’t know what it is but there is something about you that makes me want to be loved and embraced to feel the warmth of emotions like a woollen blanket yet at the same time pull my hair out from all the overwhelming feelings overcoming me flooding my brain and leaving no survivors it is as if you have stormed my mind ensuring that my thoughts will be plagued with you practically every waking day who gave you the right to live in my brain rent free? i blame you for making me this way desiring love but knowing i can never have it least of all from you do you even realise how much i like you? you have changed me in indescribable ways but the one which strikes me most is how i have become helpless my senses defenseless as soon as you even look my way how pathetic i am when even the slightest gaze spikes up my emotions leaving me giddy for days to come because for some incomprehensible reason you are beautiful your eyes melt into my soul perfectly soft and blissful and i wish they would meet mine more often your hands comforting and warm as i wish that they would hold mine your smile as lovely as the daylight how i wish i could be the cause of it i am deluding myself now i know that there is no real chance that you could ever reciprocate what i feel for you yet for some reason once again unknown to me i still try please do not lead me on or string my heart along as if it is some toy for you to play with i do not think i could handle yet another rejection i apologise if it seems like i hate you but i think that i might like you a bit too much

[certifiedhyperfixator]

obvious

sometimes i fear that i am being a bit too obvious with you other times it is as if i want to just scream how i feel out into the world without regard to the consequences how liberating that would be yet i continue to oscillate between these two extremes i have always been terribly indecisive but i can’t help but feel like you have already caught on by now i cannot tell if your glances are genuine or just a trick of the light or perhaps even a hypothesis that you are trying to test wondering “does this girl like me?” the answer is clear and it seems that i have lost my need to hide my emotions with the passing time though i have always been told that i am like a rock glaringly obvious and lacking any subtlety maybe one of these days i will be able to muster up some ounce of courage and finally admit my weakness but for now i suppose i shall be content with appearing obvious from afar

[certifiedhyperfixator]

left

it certainly is an interesting feeling always being the last choice hardly even noticed like a shadow lurking in the corner of the room left out i always say that i don’t care and usually i mean it but sometimes my intrinsic desires for assimilation breach my barriers and get the better of me not that they get very far i would rather die than submit to such idiotic societal standards no what really irks me the most is how some people cannot stand to give the spotlight to anyone but themselves how they must always be the centre of attention and inside i laugh a little because they must be so afraid of being left out it’s truly pathetic the way they squirm into every conversation without regard for boundaries or privacy and then i feel better about myself because at least i do not need to attend to such frivolous things most times i find it better to stay with the shadows because at least they will never turn against me they will not whisper falsities or tarnish my name my mentality my health and most of all the shadows do not leave me out

[certifiedhyperfixator]

expectations

you have always taught me that as long as i remain gifted academically or otherwise i shall have worth in this world because what else am i if not smart? or at least that is the meaning i have inferred from the countless lectures you have bestowed upon me you made me internalise this but now it seems that i have developed a fear of failure i despise failure and i am terrified of it it means that i am worthless so even a single mistake a single grade not as high as it should have been may cause me to spiral it is as if any mention of my flaws regardless of whether they can be improved or not has the power to control the tears which enter my eyes and exit when no one is around before you even get a chance to tell me off i will have already done it to myself i shall berate myself so that you don’t have to yet countless times as i reveal my mediocre scores to you i brace myself squeezing my eyes shut in anticipation for a disappointed scolding which never comes and when i open my eyes you are there confused wondering why i am such a weird child but have you not done this to me? you wonder why my self esteem is disastrously subpar yet never reflect on how perhaps you made me feel this way? and even without all this if you don’t hate me for failing then why have i been hating myself? it seems that the expectations i thought you placed on me were just reflections of the expectations which i placed on myself

[certifiedhyperfixator]

serendipity

was it mere chance or the will of the universe that brought me to you? because if so i must have been blessed being able to find someone like you in my lifetime you have made my days more bearable and my nights more peaceful knowing that you exist what luck i have been bestowed! oh this must be what they call happy accidents and every day i thank the stars that they have made one of us

[certifiedhyperfixator]

fortunate

alright so this is kind of a new thing i guess, this is like my first time writing an actual poem so i'm sorry if it's not the best T-T also there are mentions of christianity so if that's not your thing feel free to just scroll away, but anyways thank you for reading!

how fortunate i am to wake up every morning the breath of the new day dancing across my lips as i prepare myself for life’s propositions how fortunate i am to be severely unacquainted with loss never having experienced one’s soul fading away before my eyes hands slackening as the light leaves theirs how fortunate i am to know the embrace of a warm shelter and the security of a roof over my head to have all the water i could ever ask for at my fingertips without having to worry about where i shall get more to be able to fill my belly with innumerable quantities of food my only concern being whether i can possibly continue to consume how fortunate i am to have the freedom to travel like a bird soaring through the sky with the ability to roam unfamiliar lands uncharted and discover beautiful new cultures which show me uniquely astonishing ways of life how fortunate i am to be greeted each day with the sight of nature everlasting, ever thriving despite the world’s harshness and to be inspired to follow suit with the blooming bright flowers and the breeze at my back whispering words of encouragement how fortunate i am to be born into a world not perfect but improving and how prosperous it is! an era where i can flourish with the people who surround me where i do not need to be afraid to be simply who i am how fortunate i am to be presented with innumerable opportunities being able to pick and choose as i please and perhaps i don’t even need to choose if i were so inclined yet all of the doors are open just for me how fortunate i am to have a spirit to be motivated and have a driving force that compels me always to become better because i can always be better no matter what seemingly insurmountable challenges i may face how fortunate i am to experience feelings those beautiful emotions that make life more vibrant splashes of colour on what would have been a plain canvas and despite those which may hold me back they still strengthen me and awaken new perspectives which i might never have found otherwise how fortunate i am to be loved to know that there are always people that will support me no matter what i have done who will help me when i am down and raise me up when i am already there to have people to share my joy with and who can share their joy with me how fortunate i am to be blessed by the Lord to have confidence in all that i do knowing that He is there to support me and guide me and has shaped the person i am today to find comfort in His plan for me as He has granted me so much luck already how fortunate i am to be alive what a lovely feeling that is

[certifiedhyperfixator]

Hello, wonderful souls! 🤍🌍

I hope you're doing well. 🌿

Could you help me amplify my family's story and bring awareness to our struggle? 🙏🏻

💬 Please reblog my pinned post or consider donating just $5—your support could truly make a difference in saving lives amidst war and hardship.

Your kindness and voice matter more than you know. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 🤍🌿

🕊️ @mosabsdr | Every share counts. 💫

🍉

[certifiedhyperfixator]

🔔🌑DARKNESS, DEATH, STARVATION 🌑🔔

Help 🙏🏻 I have lost all the costs of treating my daughter♦️ Death stalks her🪾‼️ suffers from kidney failure and autism and is physically and mentally .🔴🥀🔴 We are living the hardest days of our live My children are trembling with fear and hunger. Imagine for a moment that they are your children.🙏🏻🫶🏻Cooperate with me to save her. God created people to be a lifeline. We are a people who love peace 🌿 My house was completely destroyed. We are being subjected to genocide. I address the humanity in your heart. I do not want to lose her presence in life 💔😭 Every contribution, no matter how small, could make a tremendous difference in saving Farah life. 💙🌹Hurry up to donate and participate $50 so that I can buy her needs https://gofund.me/0efb80df

🍉

[certifiedhyperfixator]

I'm not asking for a lot of money, I just need a little to buy bread and some vegetables for my kids and milk and diapers for my baby Sama. 💔🙏

My campaign is verified by @gazavetters, (#334)

https://www.gofundme.com/f/struggle-of-a-mother-for-survival

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[certifiedhyperfixator]

This is me Aya.. ‏🇵🇸

Imagine you wake up with nothing left.That's exactly what happened with us .we moved from having everything to having nothing.In a blink of an eye ,we lost everything, our house ,dreams, memories belongings and our works. We are starting from zero and need your help to climb the leader step by step from scratch.

All the positive words cannot express how generous you are, especially in sharing my posts to inform other donors about the people of Gaza who are still suffering from the terrible conditions caused by the unjust war on Gaza!

Please continue to support us by donating directly or by sharing the link to let others know. Don't hesitate to help people in difficult and miserable times until the dark days are over. 🙏🏻🍉

https://gofund.me/c4c2cf82

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[certifiedhyperfixator]

Please don't skip my message 🍉🇵🇸 to our honorable people in the world My name is Abdul Rahman from Gaza.. I lost everything in life.. My wife was martyred and my child and I were injured by a missile that fell on us.. My life was completely destroyed and I was severely injured all over my body especially my legs.. The missile tore my wife apart while she was carrying our child.. I ask for your support to start my life anew and overcome the tragedy I am going through.. Please help me with any amount no matter how small to treat my injury and my child's injury and get out of the Gaza Strip and start a better life.. And spread my campaign and my story so that everyone can see it 🍉🍉🇵🇸🇵🇸

Vetted by 90-ghost

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[certifiedhyperfixator]

I hope this message finds you well. I am Mahmoud, a 26-years old father from Gaza. My beloved wife gave birth to our first baby during the war, filling our hearts with joy and love. 🥰🥰 Yet, I am really concerned about the my kid's safety and future. I want him to live the life that I never had. 😔😔 That's why I have created a GFM campaign to evacuate Gaza and build a better future for my family elsewhere. I will be eternally grateful if you care to donate or share my story for other people to see. 🙏🙏

https://gogetfunding.com/help-mahmoud-and-his-family-2/

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[certifiedhyperfixator]

Hello. I hope my message reaches you safely.

I am Sama from Gaza. I know that asking for a donation is not an easy thing.

We in Gaza cannot buy food and drink; because of the high prices we are very hungry we are about to die 💔 we cannot bear it.

Can you donate so we can get food and drink if it costs 60€😭🙏.Please donate we are about to die💔

My family and I thank you for standing by us during this difficult time. I hope you will donate ❤️🙏

https://gofund.me/b60fb34d

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[certifiedhyperfixator]

To all Palestine supporters 🌍💙

We need less than 300$ to reach our short-term goal of 10,500$! 🚨💶

Your donations mean so much to us, and we truly appreciate your support, no matter how small. 🙏✨

We need you now more than ever. 💔🤲

Please help us reach our goal as soon as possible. 🕊️🌟

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[certifiedhyperfixator]

🔴 STOP Don’t Skip

•my message to the world

•At the end of the month, you will be celebrating Christmas.

•How will you celebrate without us for the second year in a row?

•We share in your celebrations.

°Why don't you share with us during these difficult times?

•am hilda 28y girl

•am pregnant like any woman at this world

•the difference between us i live in gaza

🚨 I am pregnant and suffering from a lack of food and medicine. I don’t know what the fate of my baby inside me will be due to the shortage of food and medicine caused by the war and high prices

😓😥🍉🇵🇸

•A small donation can make abig difference 🤲🤲

•The war has entered its second year and everything is getting worse 💔

•Please help me 🤲😥🍉🇵🇸

✅vetted ( u can see that in my posts)

https://gofund.me/69d9ed7c

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