Murder Bird Lesson 7
If, while you're on watch, you see two orc scouts walk past the cave your party is sleeping in; kill them. Kill them both. Stealthily as you can, skewer them. Make sure you don't wake up your party members... ... So you can drag back one of the corpses and dump it on the Dragonborn Fighter while he's asleep. Be forewarned; he WILL throw the body at you.
Murder Bird Lesson 6
Pain is your friend. Pain and fear. Not yours, somone else's pain and fear. Any time you can use those to end combat, the better. Chopping off extremities works. Or kneecaps. Or grenades that cause violent psychosis and hallucinations. ... Or stabbing someone in the crotch and making thorny vines sprout from the wound...
Murder Bird Lesson 5
Never EVER suggest your party take a stealthy route through a Troll cave without forcing mandatory baths. Also, no, the meatshield cannot guard against two mutant Trolls on his own... Nor do Trolls take a Con save to resist gagging if they bite in to the meatshield's unwashed armpit.
Murder Bird Lesson 4
Find successes in your fuckups. Just because you made a growth gas grenade when you were trying to make an incindiary grenade doesn't mean it can't be used to cripple four goblins. ... It also helps if they're doused in oil and the Dragonborn sprays them with fire breath.
Murderbird Lesson 3
If you're chaotic evil, but try to do a good deed because you need something, don't try to use a ritual to get the help of a Chaotic Good goddess. Even if it is to help her followers. Certainly don't call her a jackass when she burns the word NO in to the ground with a lightning bolt. She may be a Peace goddess but she will still fire a warning shot at your feet.
Murderbird Lesson 2
If the party Thief offers to talk to some contacts, find out if he left the city on good terms first. ESPECIALLY when trying to find a fence for a solid gold sword. Chances are you'll get jumped by a group of the Fence's very well armed friends.
Murderbird Lesson 1
If you kidnap a random puppy as an emergency ration, don't tell the Lawful Good Dragonborn that wants a puppy. It leads to sudden puppy adoption.