chaoticteapot - Tumblr blog

[chaoticteapot]

Okay, so I am rewatching Supernatural... for the... we are not going to say how many times. And everytime I watch it my feelings comeback, I see new things and my Psychology brain 🧠 be analyzing more and more. I can go on day long rants and I'm thinking of doing character deep dives as well as plot analysis and such. However, ya girl has v bad mental illness so I'm not making any promises. However, I WILL leave you will these 2 things. 1. I to THIS day would DIE for DEAN Winchester. And 2. This meme I made

[chaoticteapot]

ONG the ETS company is about to catch all of these hands. I'm trynna go back to Graduate school. They canceled my GRE and told me to call and reschedule. It's been a MONTH.... a MONTH and they STILL haven't responded. I've left emails and voice-mails. Like please 🙏 😭 answer me. I need this stupid test. Also, it makes me want to burn down multiple buildings... so fucking answer. Kay thanks

[chaoticteapot]

KANG TAE OH Ph. by Kang Hye Won for Elle Korea (Sep. 2022)

[chaoticteapot]

Spoiler warning babes: I have so many and I mean SO MANY things to say about ep. 15 & 16 but I need to finish squealing first. Short lil opinions rn. 1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Sang-hyeon. Tbh Id die for him but thats neither here nor there 2. Not my girl MELTING when he called her Noona. Stop. My heart literally cannot take it. 3. SHE TOLD HIM AND IM PROUD but also not me crying when she said he was lonely and my man looked heartbroken but I'm glad he didn't lie that would be so detrimental to their growth as a couple 4. Att. Jang honest to God can catch these mf hands 5. Spring sunshine Soo-yeon is bae and I would also die for her (I'm highkey in love but ignore that). 6. I.D.K how i feel about Min-woo. I. Give me time to process 7. JUN-HO COMPARING HER TO A CAT...IM DEAD... but also all the ways she makes him happy. Again. Stop. My heart 8. SHE INDIRECTLY SAID SHE LOVED HIM MFS STOP THE PRESSES IM sobbing 😭 they are together again and it feels so good.... I promise when I'm emotionally-slightly more stable, I will write something more put together, but until then, enjoy this hot mess!

[chaoticteapot]

KANG KI-YOUNG, Selected Filmography

Heo Min-Soo, Oh My Ghost (2015) Choi Chun-sang, Bring it On, Ghost (2016) Kim Dae-ho, Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo (2016-2017) Park Yoo-sik, What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim? (2018) Jung Myeong-seok, Extraordinary Attorney Woo (2022)

[chaoticteapot]

So, I just started fruit basket. And idk why I found the end of the first episode so damn funny but I did. I'm intrigued to see where it goes. I enjoy the play on zodiac. The cat attitude.....on brand bruh.

[chaoticteapot]

I haven’t gotten that far but I’ve seen posts and a looooooot of ppl seem mad about the miscommunication in Young-Woo’s life. Some are mad about the break up due to insecurity that could be “easily solved” and some are mad about her dad never reassuring her. And those are valid feelings - but I don’t know why you’re all mad at the writers for these decisions.

First off, I kind of wanted them to break up at some point. Normally I hate this kind of thing, but this is her first relationship. I wanted to see her be treated as a person, who makes mistakes and falls out of love and changes her mind. Why should her very first romantic endeavour go according to plan? She’s not a fairy tale character.

Based on what I’ve seen I think all the decisions are decidedly IN character. Let’s not pretend anyone is above insecurity. Let’s not pretend ppl aren’t capable of falling into assumptions. Junho makes assumptions about YW all the time. In many ways, his approach to being w/ her is to dote on her, please her, as if she’s a child. And like EVERY allistic person I’ve ever met, as he gets more comfortable w/ her and their relationship he drops the routine that established it (direct communication) and instead falls into his natural way being (intuitive social understanding). He begins to assume things. He assumes, after promising to wait to know each other, that they’ve peaked and are official.

He doesn’t explicitly ask this. He just. Assumes. Because he’s NT. because he’s used to this being unspoken. He became comfortable and fell back into a pattern. It’s normal.

I mean, I’m watching in live time the entire audience do this.

“Where’s the directness that’s canon to YW’s personality????”

What’s directness? When has YW ever been direct about her feelings outside of things she’s confident in the knowledge of? Insecurity is in everyone and insecurity in autistic ppl keeps us alive. Feeling safe and trusting others is a danger (and yes it sounds like a contradiction because autistic ppl are naturally very trusting but on an INTIMATE level we aren’t).

YW believes she’s a charity case. It may not have been said but that’s a fact. All she knows is that Junho is kind. Kind ppl do nice things. Like hang out w/ autistic ppl even if they make them feel lonely. Junho doesn’t ever really contradict these things (because he doesn’t realise he has to).

And the audience in many ways is no better. Time and time again I see applause for Junho demanding boundaries and compromises from YW. Ppl clap and say “it’s good that he’s not the only one working at this”

Junho has only ever had to stretch his social muscles when it comes to YW. YW is doing it all the time. For everyone in every aspect of her life. So to conserve energy, she watches for patterns, makes assumptions.

From the discography of her life, YW knows how this ends. It ends with her being a burden. Her being proven unloveable. Her being alone. She’s nipping it in the bud. Before it hurts too much.

All her life, despite audience and in-world people belief, YW has born the brunt of social responsibility. Born the fallout. If something goes wrong, it’s her fault, if there’s a miscommunication, it’s her miscommunication. She should’ve known better, learned faster. If people dislike her, that’s on her. When people *like* her, it’s an accident.

She’s been taught her whole life to accept other peoples feelings, and bottle her own. Despite seeming cold, despite seeming selfish, YW is very self-punishing.

God I’m losing my thread of thought.

What I’m saying is the miscommunication is not only applicable - it’s learned. YW doesn’t defy people when they tell her she makes them lonely. Doesn’t talk about her own loneliness in response. She accepts it. In her eyes it’s true.

I mean look at her dad.

In all of six episodes I’ve seen, never once has he shifted the responsibility of his own happiness off YW’s shoulders and onto himself. He’s her parent, and yet he blames his daughter for his loneliness. Because she’s autistic, I’m sure on some fundamental level he doesn’t believe she can feel it. But. She. Canonically. Does.

And so we’re here. With Junho who believes someone as direct as YW will believe him when he tells her things, but also openly expected her to *intuit* a change in their relationship. And YW who deeply believes that every person in her life lacks fulfilment when she’s part of it.

So she breaks up with him. Tells herself it’s pragmatic actually. Honest. Choosing to see another way goes against everything she knows to be true, and autistic are nothing if not rigid when it comes to their life lessons.

This makes sense. It’s me. It’s every time I chose to act against my better judgement and hurt because of it.

Meanness in others is painful but usually it’s upfront. I can handle open hostility. The hostility beneath the surface tho? The hostility of the people I love, who blame me for their loneliness? The people who, despite knowing how I am, insist upon change anyways? Because now we know each other?

You don’t know YW. she wouldn’t insult you like that. Wouldn’t stick her hand into a flame like that. People hide themselves, and so shall she.

Miscommunication is *human*. It’s an aspect of a deeply neurotypical society because patriarchy *thrives* in the grey area.

I haven’t watched it. I’m following the outrage online but I don’t agree with it. I don’t blame Junho. I don’t blame YW. I know where this knot started and it’s hard to blame people when they’re hurting themselves.

For a final thing to leave with my allistic readers. I understand you’re confused because YW *is* typically very direct. But you’re perceiving the moment wrong. Autistic people are always attempting to mimic allistic ones. It’s what we think you want. It’s what we *know* you want.

Young-woo read into a situation, and chose to read the writing on the wall. It’s the wrong writing, the wrong wall. She doesn’t know that though, all the walls look the same to her. She chose to bow out. She both thought this is what people wanted, and felt too insecure to challenge it.

IMO the only character who has ever challenged her defeatist attitude is Suyeon. I can imagine Suyeon yelling at her “are you going to spend the rest of your life letting other people decide your happiness?” I imagine Young-woo would listen to Spring Sunshine Suyeon. She’s always taken the lids off difficult bottles.

[chaoticteapot]

While Junho is absolutely wonderful and selfless, he is still a person who has interests, hobbies, opinions and desires. Unfortunately, we don’t know much about him and that is on purpose. He’s been mostly seen from Youngwoo’s point of view, first as a colleague, then as a friend and potential love interest. Junho has been very attentive and helpful to Youngwoo in both professional and personal ways to show how interested he is in getting to know her. But the same cannot be said of Youngwoo. While she is aware of him and appreciates him, she has not reciprocated in trying to get to know him. This is essential with both friends and lovers. There is a give and take that must go both ways. 

If we look at the times we’ve seen Junho in his own life, they were all during moments that he was interacting with or thinking about Youngwoo: getting her unexpected phone call about whales while he was brushing his teeth in the morning, getting home from work to agonize over whether or not to apologize via text about his friend mistaking her for a charity case, getting angry with his roommate for talking down about Youngwoo’s autism to their boss, and drunkenly confessing he likes her to his roommate but being vague about the reservations he has about starting a relationship. 

Also, we need to take into account the times Junho has felt unseen or rejected by her. When he put boundaries on whale talk, he asked her if she had anything else to say to him and she said no. He laughed it off at the time, but it was an opportunity for them to potentially connect on other things that she turned down, including inquiring about his interests so they might find a common interest. When he waited for her outside the restaurant and tried to interact with her, she acknowledged his presence after he called to her but then immediately turned and walked away when he was trying to walk toward her to talk. When she came back to the office to fight for Geurami’s father, Junho was so excited to see her and told her he missed spending time with her. But their interaction left him standing in the lobby looking forlorn as she politely acknowledged his presence but showed no interest in return before she quickly left. On the van ride, Youngwoo insisted that the cute couple sit next to each other and made him move seats to sit next to his other female colleague to his discomfort. When he brought her the legal papers in Attorney Jung’s office, he wanted to interact with her but she didn’t even acknowledge his presence which Suyeon noticed and called her out on. And lastly, Youngwoo running away after she asked to touch him and then freaked out when he almost kissed her. His face shows he was dismayed and worried that he had done something wrong when he was trying to show how much he cared. It’s completely understandable that she ran away from our perspective but he doesn’t know what she’s thinking or feeling. Which is why he asks if she got home safely that night to talk about what happened. None of these slights or rejections are intentional on her part but that doesn’t make them sting any less. 

Someone who caters to all of your needs and requires very little in return is a caretaker, not a lover. Parents are the first caretakers we have in life before we can eventually take care of ourselves. It’s encouraging that Youngwoo is now ready to take steps to become an adult independent of her father. This hopefully means she’s ready to be an equal partner as a lover. Though I want to be clear that even if you have certain special needs that need to be catered to that doesn’t mean you can’t fully be an equal partner. It’s good to be as self-sufficient as you can. However, everyone in society is connected and will go through periods or their entire lives where they need more help or consideration due to injury, age, disability, or circumstances from colleagues, friends, family and even the government. Welfare exists for good reason. What I am saying is that relationships need to be beneficial to both partners and how that works will be different for every couple. It’s something that needs to be discussed and agreed upon to provide the foundation to build their life together. 

While Junho has been good about trying to give Youngwoo what she needs, he’s also going to need to be honest about what he needs from her. They will need to have some frank conversations about how this will work for them. I’m looking forward to them navigating these tricky waters. Honestly, communication is tricky for anyone, divorce is high and relationships often fail for a reason. What makes a huge difference is the willingness to work on your issues and find compromises that you both agree on that keep your relationship on the right track. 

This of course means that Youngwoo needs to get to know Junho, which means we will finally get to know him. What are his hobbies and interests? Why does he work in a law office but not become an attorney? What is his family like? Where did he grow up? How did he become friends with Minwoo? How much has he dated? So many questions. When we get to know what other people like and engage with them about these things, it shows that we care. I would like Youngwoo to be able to do that for Junho as well. I’m sure there will be fun times and hard times ahead for them but I’m looking forward to seeing them doing life together though it all. 

[chaoticteapot]

I tell you rn I will Never and I repeat NEVER forgive the writers if they take him away from me. This scene either felt like "goodbye" or like "maybe my life did mean something look at my children". And if it's goodbye, I'll literally die.. bye

[chaoticteapot]

I still haven't emotionally recovered. I swear if they aren't endgame I will rage. "Am I a joke to you?"... I sobbed