You can break my heart in two, but when it heals it beats for you. I wanna hold you when I’m not supposed to, when I’m laying close to someone else. You’re stuck in my head and I can’t get you out of it. If I could do it all again I know I’d go back to you.
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New year same old life
Can’t believe I still make it to another year in life. Thought I wouldn’t make it but here I am, surviving an unhappy life I’m living. If you asked me “why is it an unhappy life?” I couldn’t give you the answer for that kind of question. Is it because I’m expecting too much or because I want an easy life... I don’t know. Or maybe cause I don’t have a good relationship with God. I have so many desires in life but can’t afford them all.
When I look on the bright side I see that I have everything. I have the job, I have people who care about me, I have both parents who pray for me in their every prayer. But why am I unhappy. I’ve tried to live on the bright side but seems like my life is so dark it can’t even light up my world. Need more lights but I couldn’t find more.
I just wish I’ll find more lights to help brighten my world a bit. I just wish this year I’ll be more comfortable living my life. I just want to be happy but I don’t know how.
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Amolongo! #anakgunung #papuaindonesia (at Tembagapura, Papua, Indonesia)
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Add me on Snapchat! Username: charleskambu
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People are the toxic. To the nature and their own kind.
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Wrong thoughts
When I thought I finally found happiness, it turned out to be more struggles. I thought I finally found the right people who possibly could be my best friends but apparently I have always been wrong in every thought I have. I wonder what is wrong with my brain why does it always giving me hopes that something good could finally happen at last. Seems to me that people are the problems, people are the reason I'm unhappy, I know I can't blame everything on people. I have tried so many ways to be liked. Being myself and not being myself still not working either way. Charles
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❤💙💚💛💜💓💕💖💗💘💝💞💟
Ezra Miller at the European Premiere of ‘Suicide Squad’
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Highly recommended!!!
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I was loved
“I am laying next my lover. He is hugging me ght. I y concen a on what I am feeling physically but I can’t. My mind is not on him. I am wondering about life. I am wondering about a e sudden changes at happened so quickly. I do not even realize how far I have walked on is pa . I can’t brea e. I y close my eyes ease e tangled mind but I just can’t. My mind is switching om “I love is man” and “I miss God”. Ever since I knew is man, I have re ained om my rou nes as a Chris an. I re se y commit what God has placed in my heart so at I don’t feel guil when I am wi him. Why e he do I have is feeling? e same ques on I asked af r I broke up wi my first boy iend. Why e ck do I have e feeling? Now I understand e predicament a li le be er. I couldn’t handle my break-up we because I had never had at before. I want love him and love God in e same me but I can’t. My heart keeps ing me at God is more important an him. God is more important an every ing. But i love him. I love my man so much I can’t s p inking about him. He is as perfect as a man could be.
He is laying next me and I ink, “Should I him? I know I am going break his heart, but I do is for e best. For bo of us.” I fina y him open his eyes and look at me. I begin him about e me I had go counseling “figure out” who I was and if e person I ough I was was rea y who I wan d be. I en ld him about my devo on God and ings at I ld God I would never fa in . He is lis ning care y. I also him about e reason my last boy iend broke up wi me. It was because he felt he was chea ng om God and did not keep his promise Him. I say in my mind, “Ok, if we are breaking up day, I wi endure e pain. At least some ex nd. I am ready.” en he asks me what I want. I say, “I want s p having is feeling. I want s p.” He pu s his body away om me. He pushes me away. He s me s p uching him. His body starts shaking. He is crying. I am hur ng e man who loves me dearly. A man who adores me at my best and even worse in my worse. I en realize how much he loves me; how much I love him o.
He is burying his head in e pi ow. He re ses look at me. I look at him and start cry. I cry because I surely do not want any of is happen. I want be wi him for long.
I love him. I start cry. I him at I love him and I want him. It takes me a while convince him look at me. He is embarrassed look at me. When he is looking at me, I see a beau l man. I see a man whose love for me is uncondi ona y. He loves me for who I am and not just because of how I look. is is e man I have been dreaming for. A is me e image had been somehow vague. Now it’s crystal clear. He is laying under me. I love him. I wi never s p loving him.
I smile when I see him. We are at Starbucks. I am studying for my exams next week. We order e same drinks. But mine is wi a slight modifica on. I like my coffee be half regular and half skim milk, en one-less pump of wha ver syrup, and light ice if it is an iced drink. He is si ing across om me working on a presenta on. He has present it in ont of e class next week. I look at him and smile. Before I ld him yes rday about what I rea y felt I was worried at my feeling would change. I love him more. I feel like ns of weight are now off my chest. I can ink clearly. I can rea y focus on loving him wi out having worry about losing e person at I love dearly.”
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For Good (Thank you)
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done, you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
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It’s been a while since I wrote something on tumblr... I really have no idea what to write right now. I promised a reader of my blog that I would write something like a month ago but I haven’t written anything as she requested hahah... well here’s to make long story short I’m not really happy with my job (but I’m glad I have one), my relationship is... well I’m single! Can any of you find one for me? and I spend a lot of cash... I’m still waiting for something great happen to me...
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Wine and Sweater⁉️ thank you‼️ 😽❤️😽❤️😽 #VSCOcam
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Gym buddy 💪💪💪
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So long my friend. Six years it's been. #blueiPodforblues #RIP
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Stopped and gave them extra cookies I brought just because they remind me so much of my childhood. Pulling a toy truck and wandering around the neighborhood half naked joyfully. #Youwillconquertheworldoneday #believeme #VSCOcam (at Pomako)
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