charmiku

[charmiku]

introduction post!!

doing this on a whim ermmm anyway...

hello!! I'm charmiku aka kyrie, im 18 and one thing about me is I barely use tumblr so if you like my content by any chance dont expect me to post frequently LMAOO

anyway lemme get straight to the point

fandoms i will write for:

• jojo's bizarre adventure

• moriarty the patriot

• twisted wonderland

• bungo stray dogs

• jujutsu kaisen

• hellsing

• castlevania

• honkai star rail

• resident evil

• red dead redemption 2

• overwatch (maybe)

• squid game (i need to finish s3 💔)

• hazbin hotel (?? maybe)

• the amazing digital circus (again MAYBE)

• date everything (this game has taken over my entire existence ISTG)

ill likely add more to this list WHO KNOWS

ON THE TABLE (things i will write):

• male character x male!reader, female character x female!reader, (character) x trans/gender neutral!reader

• angst

• corny sickeningly sweet fluff

• slow burn

• enemies to lovers

• one sided/unrequited love (yay...my favorite...haha)

•cute silly (and not so silly maybe kinda sad) headcannons

• friends to lovers

• PLATONIC ‼️ child x reader/ adult character x child!reader

SLIGHTLY...? ON THE TABLE (things i may write):

• smut/freaky fics and headcannons (lmfao yeah im pretty shy abt writting things like that but I'LL THINK ABOUT IT 😭)

OFF THE TABLE (things i will NOT write):

• romantic child x reader/adult character x child reader. all characters under the age of 18 that i may write smut for (if i decide to write that sort of stuff in the first place) will be AGED UP. if you are into children/minors x adult I WILL BLOCK YOU

• necrophilia, gore and other disgusting things like these. again if ur into this stuff STAY TF AWAY FROM ME (side note cannibalism will ONLY and ONLY be mentioned if the character im writing for is canonically a cannibal, like rosie from hazbin hotel, to give an example. i am NOT writing fics about reader eating character or the other way around)

•bdsm/sado-masochism/whatever other hardcore shit is out there (this is here in case i decide to write smut. lol but yeah the freakiness can only go so far sorry not sorry)

guess thats all for now BYEEE

[charmiku]

" the saddest thing "

a jotaro kujo x reader

a.n : first time writing on tumblr!!this miiight have grammatical errors, and jotaro might be a bit ooc, so... yeah

pairing : jotaro x reader (slight kakyoin x reader if you look with a microscope)

sypnosis : during your trip to Egypt, Jotaro had his eye on you, but he chose to stay quiet. 12 years later, he thought enough time had passed for him to get over it. guess not.

warning/s : fem! reader, angst, unrequited love, SPOILERS FOR PART 3 (and sligthly part 4), mentions of smoking, death and blood, reader friendzones jotaro as nicely as possible

------ ⋆⋆⋆⋆

it was just a normal day for you.

or at least, it was supposed to be.

somehow, you got involved into some guy's family drama, which ended up with you going on a 50-day trip around the world along with a bunch of men with superhuman powers called "Stands" .

but all of that happened years ago.

. . .

it is now the year of 1999. it's been more than a decade since you and your friends defeated the man called Dio. some of your allies have passed away during that journey, and so, out of the 7 of you, only 4 remained, that being you, Polnareff, Mr. Joestar, and Jotaro.

of course, you missed your friends. you missed the old times. all those memories you made along the way. 6 different people (and a dog), each with their own story, travelling far and wide, with your goal ultimately being the same: to kill Dio.

you missed those times. the late nights spent with Jotaro, stargazing in the desert in comfortable silence, watching as the smoke from his cigarette vanished in the air. the times you had to bear witness to Mr. Joestars' comedic antics, laughing along with the others. you missed listening to Avdol as he taught you about the Tarot Cards, as well as many other things, from Stand abilities, to astrology and Egyptian culture. you missed seeing Iggy claw at Polnareffs' head, biting and ripping his hair to shreds as the poor frenchman screamed and begged for one of you to help him.

but most of all, you missed Kakyoin.

you two became very close throughout the trip. whenever you and the other crusaders had any free time, you and Kakyoin spent it chatting, telling jokes, talking about your future, so on. overall, you seemed to be inseparable.

now, most of the other crusaders thought of you as just " good friends" . and truth be told, you liked to believe that to be the case. but sometimes, the way Kakyoin looked at you with that charming smile, the way he cared for your wellbeing or the way he gifted you trinkets he saw in town and thought you might like made the line between "friendship" and "something more" blur more than it should.

despite all that, you two never really got into the topic of relationships and romance. sure, you've asked Kakyoin about his taste in girls and what would a perfect date look like to him (which in return earned you an amused chuckle, as well as him teasing you for being so "bold to ask", as he put it), but nothing beyond that.

sometimes, you wish you could have asked him more questions. while he was still alive.

------ ⋆⋆⋆⋆

now, you were a changed woman, far more different from the starry-eyed schoolgirl you used to be. honestly, working as a secretary might have not been your wisest decision, because the pile of papers on your desk seemed to get larger and larger as days passed, no matter how much you tried to sort them out.

that didn't mean you couldn't afford any time for yourself. you managed to alternate between work and personal life pretty well, which left you with just about enough time to go for a walk in the evening, have coffee on occasions and even watch a j drama. most of them are predictable, but still fun to watch.

. . .

the day Jotaro came knocking on your door, asking for your help, didn't surprise you. you knew that despite being a marine biologist, he was also investigating the whereabouts of the Stand Arrow, so you decided to spare your old friend a hand.

once you both arrived in Morioh, over the span of a couple weeks the two of you got caught up in yet another bizarre adventure (please laugh). soon enough, you hardly paid any attention to your job, since all you could think about was the Kira case.

apparently, Jotaro seemed to be just as fixated on it as well, but he seemed to be acting. . . strange. since you partnered up to find Morioh's mysterious serial killer, he seemed to be quite distant. of course, he's always been the quiet type, a man of little words. but seeing him like this aroused some degree of concern for him.

so eventually, you asked him about it.

`` Jojo, I've been meaning to ask... `` you began.

you were allowed to call him Jojo only when it was just the two of you, with nobody else around. that is something he permitted you to do years ago, and you've stuck by it since then.

``... go on. `` the tall man switched his focus from the papers he was inspecting to you.

`` you've been acting odd lately. it might have not struck Josuke and the others yet, but I can tell something is wrong. everything okay? `` you asked, choosing your words carefully to test the waters.

``... `` Jotaro remained silent.

panic slowly started creeping into your mind. did you do something wrong? did you say something wrong?

`` I... don't know. `` he let out a sigh, obviously trying to keep it cool.

Jotaro sat down across from you, facing you from the tables' opposite end.

`` (name). ``

he said your name with his usual blatant tone. once your eyes met his own, he decided to speak again.

`` seeing you again after all this time makes me feel nostalgic, in a way. `` Jotaro began.

`` oh, well, that is natural. I'm sure it brings back memories. ``

he nodded.

`` I can't help but think back to ... everything. ``

Jotaro may not be good at communicating, but you could tell that his answer was too vague, even for him. you decided to pry some more as nicely as you could.

`` everything? ``

`` yes. all that happened. ``

`` such as ... ? ``

he stayed silent. he tilted his white hat downward to hide his face from you.

`` Jotaro, you can tell me about it. something is bothering you and I can see it. ``

nothing.

you tried again.

`` Jojo. ``

nothing again.

`` Jotar- ``

`` it's about Kakyoin. ``

ah. he knew better than to mention Kakyoin so casually.

yet at this point, Jotaro felt like he had to say all that he should have said long time ago. all the things he decided to keep to himself. all the thoughts that ran through his head once, but never managed to voice to you.

`` (name)... there's something I never had the time to talk to you about. `` Jotaro began.

`` really? then, I'm all ears. `` you replied.

`` back then, I liked you. I still do. but I never got to tell you about it. `` Jotaro looked at you with honesty. `` mostly because of Kakyoin. ``

``... what? `` was the only thing you could muster.

`` it might sound crude, but since he's gone, I figured this would be the time to- ``

``... how can you say that? `` you spoke in utter disbelief.

realizing he might have struck a nerve, Jotaro tried to reassure you.

`` (name), it's not like that. I-``

`` wait. let's ─ let's rewind for a second. so, you envied him because he ... talked to me? ``

``... sort of. ``

`` you could have talked to me too, you know. why did my... relationship with Kakyoin make you hold back? ``

Jotaro was silent. Even so, you waited until he felt ready to speak.

`` because I didn't want to separate you, no matter how much it... irritated me. ``

`` that doesn't make sense. ``

`` if i had, you and I would have grown apart, I'm sure. ``

`` what made you think we woul- ``

`` I didn't want to lose you. ``

after that, silence settled itself between you two again. none of you decided to speak up, and the tension was becoming overwhelming.

Jotaro sighed, before continuing, doing his best to keep his composure.

`` if Kakyoin was still... here, I still wouldn't have interfered between you two. I'm pretty sure he had feelings for you, so I would have left you two be. ``

You stayed silent, not knowing what to say. Could you even say anything in this situation?

`` this is... I mean, you have a wife and- ``

`` she and I are... not on the best terms right now. `` Jotaro stated, averting his gaze.

`` and your daughter? ``

`` if things end up in a divorce, she'll stay with her mother. Im not much of a good father anyway. `` Jotaro now focused his attention to the floor, finding his shoes very interesting.

`` I can't believe this is happening. `` you murmured, placing a hand on your forehead to prevent the ache of an incoming migraine. of all things, you did not expect to come to Jotaro's place to talk about something like this.

``... I understand if you can't give me an answer yet. Quite reasonable, too. `` Jotaro said.

`` I... don't know how to feel about this. ``

as you curiously lifted your gaze to his face, you saw Jotaro looking directly at you again. the more you looked back at him, the better you saw a glimpse of insistent sadness in his eyes, as if pleading with you to understand, and see things the way he does.

but you couldn't.

`` Jojo, I'm sorry, but I... never saw you that way. never had any feelings for you in that way. I always saw you as a good friend. just that. ``

as much as his heart ached at your answer, Jotaro simply hummed, swallowing the shame he felt for even asking.

he was a fool. he should have never said anything. maybe it had been better if he never called you over, if he had died with the question buried deep within him. who in their right mind would have thought you'd accept him? there was so much he lacked, so many mistakes he made, so much blood on his hands. and even so, he still hoped for a chance to be loved.

people say "you can never have everything" . and he knew that. but he never asked for "everything" . he only asked for you. for you to love him the way he loved you, to spend your nights together the way you used to back when you were teenagers, to talk to you about everything and nothing. but he wasn't meant to have something so nice, he thought. not a man like him.

how could you even love a dead man walking?

`` Jojo? ``

your voice pulled him out of the darknened corners of his mind, like an anchor keeping a ship still amidst raging tides. he wished you knew just how much your voice reassured him sometimes. or how much he treasured every smile you ever gave him like they were some sort of rare artifacts. he wished he could take all his memories with you and store them in a book, preserve them like dried flowers. hidden, but never forgotten.

if he told you all of this, would it have made a difference? would you have thought back to all those stolen glances, shared laughter and fleeting touches of each other's hands, and realize they meant to you as much as they meant to him?

if only you knew just how much he used to yearn for you to look at him more often, for the warmth of your hand on his shoulder to last a few seconds longer, and for those nights in the desert to have lasted forever, because he always liked the idea of being stuck in time with you forever.

if you knew all of that, wouldn't you give him a chance? if for nothing else, at least out of pity?

some questions were better left unanswered.

`` I'm sorry (name). I shouldn't have said anything. I thought if I told you it would get a rock off my chest. ``

`` I hope it did, Jojo. if talking to me helped you get over it, then I'm glad. I'd hate myself if you had to mope about because of me. ``

then why didn't you feel the same?

no, that would be a stupid question. not all things can be justified. and in his eyes, that is the simplest kind of cruelty life can offer.

``you're right. thanks, (name), for... listening. ``

`` anytime. ``

you stood up from your chair, grabbing your bag.

`` I have to go, I promised Yukako I'd meet her for lunch. hope you sort things out with your wife, Jojo. ``

oh yeah. his wife. the woman he married in hopes of forgetting about you.

`` thank you. ``

as you headed for the door, you turned back to take one last look at the man you've known for so long. you smiled, not having any idea of the shame and regret clawing at his soul while his eyes stayed glued to your figure in the doorway.

`` see you next time, old friend. ``

. . .

as you walked down the street, you had to admit you felt guilty. you had no idea why, but perhaps seeing Jotaro so... miserable, in a way, made you think that maybe there could have been a chance to look past everything. but you couldn't. you couldn't have him divorce his wife like that, and have his little girl be met with a new face next time he came home. maybe you would have gave him a chance 8 years ago, or even back in Egypt, and once you two returned to Japan you could have gone on a date.

if only he had spoken sooner.

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