cheekashmeeka

[cheekashmeeka]

Not gonna lie. If the dude that I was attracted to came into my home told me I was a piece of shit because my feral sister decided to hunt after my ain't shit father was gonna let us starve. And I was bad at archery. Then him being there was a threat to my safety and he kept flirting with me. Would not leave me alone.

And because him and his friends where having political meetings at my house, I was kidnapped by the opposition turned Faye against my will.

And while I'm on my healing journey, I'm helping with the fucking war effort he again would not leave me alone, flirting with me the whole time and then one finally I'm like OK I can do this. I'm gonna show affection to this man back .... he drops my hand when his ex walks back in?

And then he decides to when he thinks we are about to die, declare his undying love and about how he will see me in the next lifetime. He disappears without a fucking word.

THEN the next time I see him at Christmas, he is literally exchanging lingerie while I am having the biggest existential crisis of my life. Then proceeds to not leave me alone. Yeah my crash out would have been worse.

I would have been so much worse.

She didn't even burn a building down. She didn't even lit the med tent he was in on fire. What do you mean she mean and abusive? lol she's not mean enough. What do you mean Cassain your sad about how mean she is have you ever tried not playing in her face first? All you had to do was hang out a dive bar BFFR.

Anyways this pic is a drawing I did of Nesta on Christmas 😂 just waiting for that winged mence to leave.

[cheekashmeeka]

It’s honestly baffling how antis twist Azriel’s torment over the Elain-Lucien mating bond into a sign that he and Elain are meant to be.

In reality, it’s the complete opposite—and the text makes that clear if you’re actually paying attention.Azriel’s fixation on Elain isn’t born from love, emotional connection, or genuine chemistry.

It stems from symmetry. In his mind, it makes logical sense: three Archeron sisters, three Bat Boys. Rhys with Feyre, Cassian with Nesta… so naturally, shouldn’t Elain be his? That’s how he justifies his desire for her—because it would mean he finally gets a happy ending too. One that fits the pattern, one that makes him feel like he belongs and finally has love that he has been craving for centuries.

We were in Azriel’s head during the bonus chapter—and not once does he express true emotional depth toward Elain. There's no inner warmth, no soul-deep connection, no pull that mirrors what we’ve seen between established mates.

What we do see is a man desperately clinging to logic, trying to make sense of why he’s always left on the outside. It’s not love. It’s longing for belonging. It’s him projecting the idea of happiness onto someone who, by the laws of symmetry, should “complete” the trio.

But love doesn’t work like that.Love isn’t logical. Love doesn’t follow neat little patterns. And this is where Gwyn comes in. Even when Azriel is lost, heartbroken, emotionally guarded—he still begins to feel something real and warm toward her. Something organic.

His shadows, which are an extension of his subconscious, are drawn to her. That’s no accident.And if you compare it to how other mates in the series recognized their bonds—often when they were vulnerable, broken, or in pain—it fits the same emotional pattern. What Az feels around Gwyn is not a calculated idea of happiness; it’s instinctual, surprising, and emotionally driven.So no, his torment over Elain and Lucien’s bond isn’t some deep sign of a lost love. It’s a sign of dissonance.

He’s trying to force a connection where there isn’t one because he’s tired of being the odd one out. But with Gwyn, the connection is quietly building, even without a bond or symmetry to justify it.

That’s how real love works.

[cheekashmeeka]

THANK YOU. aelin is my fav character and oh look i can still recognise that she’s not a poor little puppy victim in all situations lmao😭😭

the way people took

"what's your vote Aelin?" "it doesn't matter" and "I'd rather neither of my friends die. I'd rather none of this happen" and "you'd rather my queen die than your king?" and Dorian wanting to sacrifice himself and "not now, not ever"'

and decided that meant that all of Aelins friends got together and voted for her to die

"me reading that scene in KOA where all of Aelins friends vote for her to die" where??

"Chaol is the worst, he voted for Aelin to die" fucking W H E R E??

"Aelin putting her life to a vote thinking it would go in her favor, just for everyone to vote for her to die" how are you this illiterate this has to be rage bait

first of all, the voting scene was about when they would do it, not who would do it

secondly, none of Aelins friends voted for her, they all said they wanted neither Dorian or Aelin to have to sacrifice themselves. in the end they had to decide when it would be done, regardless of who it was which is why the votes are actually "do it now" "not now, not ever" etc

thirdly, Aelin had already decided it would be her, she never thought it would go in her favor and if she did she didn't care, it was always going to be her in her mind. not once did she go into that vote thinking anything else

yes, it's sad that the majority voted to do it now because that meant that ultimately Aelin wouldn't see Terrasen again. but that was her decision, she could have let Dorian be the sacrifice and according to these people she would have seen Terrasen again, except either way she wouldn't have. the thing is, people love to blame everyone except Aelin. not that she's to blame but nobody is. Aelin is self sacrificing and she never would have allowed the sacrifice to be anyone but her, even if that vote had been about who was doing it, it still would have been her. she knew what was happening, she knew what her decision was, she knew she wasn't seeing Terrasen again, what in ever loving fuck do you think "it doesn't matter" meant? it didn't matter because her mind was made up, not because she was feeling let down by her friends for something that NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED

[cheekashmeeka]

i need a fanfic from a velaris citizen’s pov in acosf

Feyre says that it reflects badly on her and Rhysand that Nesta drinks and gambles and offers nothing to the city.What is she talking about?Nesta is the slayer of Hybern.This is enough for everyone in Prythian to be grateful to her forever.This is what Emerie recognizes by.She's a war veteran.

I wonder however what people thought of Nesta's disappearance from Velaris.She suddenly disappears and then the building she used to live is demolished.How difficult it would be for people to put two and two together and understand that Rhysand and Feyre locked her up?Because,if this was voluntary to clean up,there was no reason for the place she lived to be demolished. Wouldn't they gossip about Nesta's forced lock up? Wouldn't they talk about how they displaced Nesta's neighbours in order to control her?Then,the next time the citizens of Velaris see her in public,Cassian screams at her about being his mate.What would they make of that?That part of the reason she was locked up is that the General didn't like his mate sleeping with other men and that she's pressured to accept the mating bond,sth that Rhysand supposedly doesn't tolerate.What the people of Velaris,whose opinion Feyre values so highly would conclude from all this is that Nesta is being abused by her family.

[cheekashmeeka]

i’m screaming

Au where ACOWAR is exactly the same, but instead Tamlin says

'Have you ever noticed that little sound HE makes right before HE climaxes?'

WHILE LOOKING RHYSAND DEAD IN THE EYES

[cheekashmeeka]

Things Rhys said or did that screamed SUS Day 3

Who the hell was that nameless daemati??

Rhys just casually mentions some powerful daemati helped murder the children of winter.

Like—what?? We’re just supposed to accept that? No name, no face, no backstory, no consequences??

You mean to tell me that:

There was another daemati roaming around—aligned with Amarantha

Strong enough to help with a targeted mind game & murder

And Rhys never mentions them again??? In a war where mind powers were literally game-changing?

WHERE WERE THEY BEEN?

Did they just pull up for one psychic drive-by and vanish into the ether?

Did Rhys kill them after? Are they still out there?

Do they really exist!! Other daemeti but Rhysand?

Because if they are, that’s a massive security threat. And if they’re not, then Rhys owes both Kallias and us a story.

But nope. He just brushes it off like, “Oh, that? Don’t worry about it.”

Oh no darling, Kallias worried, I’m worried. You should be too.

[cheekashmeeka]

i have mixed feelings about seeing the ToG characters again, but the possibility of another ToG book/appearance happening long enough after KoA that all the mortal characters are dead...? that would kill me

elide, lorcan, dorian (?), lysandra, chaol, yrene, etc.

all dead 😁

[cheekashmeeka]

Sometimes, I think about the absurdity of the UTM situation — but then, sometimes I think of it and it makes Rhys a much more sinister, albeit, more interesting character.

Like - the situation is this, initially:

Feyre is in her cell. She frazzled,dirty, but hasn’t quite had to experience any of the horrors of UTM, save for her bargained first trial. After her initial riff raff with Rhys, the guards are hypnotized to never touch Feyre, and she receives hot meals to her cell everyday. Rhys was also able to clean Feyre up multiple times as well. So far - excluding his other actions up to this point - we can characterize Rhys as opportunistic, cruel, but well-intentioned in these moments. I am not asking for him to be a purity princess, only that I can vaguely understand the motives to his actions, whether good or bad.

But then…

He then *willingly* chooses to take her out said cell, allowing Amarantha to remember Feyre. His only tangible reason for doing this was to…anger Tamlin. He already had explains that Amarantha has a shield that wards against physical attacks, so that explaination makes no sense. The only one that actually sticks is that Rhys is…jealous. There is no tactical explanation as to why Rhys would establish this safe-space for Feyre, only to immediately co-opt it. Think about it, at this point, Amarantha has forgotten Feyre even exists. If she was tangibly written, she could have played against Feyre’s time, allowing each trial to take place once every thirty or a fifty years. But I digress.

Anywho, Rhysand removed Feyre’s clothes, painted her, and gave her a linen scarf as a dress. The hot food be gives becomes inconsequential because the wine makes Feyre wretch up any all of the food she receives. She then has to sleep on the dirty ragged floor naked because those were all of the clothes she was given. And as Rhysand is breaking Feyre down, he also has the antidote. Now, Feyre isn’t surrounded by the quiet of her cell, or looking forward to the anticipation of a hot meal. She is anticipating (and more than not dreading) her eventual drugging SA.

The sinister part of this is that — Rhys becomes the author of all of Feyre’s sorrows, but then he also swoops in and provides solutions to the issues…he caused.

And it’s why the music scene is one of the most unromantic moments in this series if you stop and consider EVERYTHING. Feyre is sitting there, alone and naked. Exhausted after being paraded around by the Wraiths and having to bear info she has no power to stop. Rhys reads her mind, and then sends the music into her cell. But HE IS THE ONE who caused it in the first place. All of it. It’s so scary when you consider that Feyre was a human, with no mental shields. She was a legit open book and the book acknowledges that he read it alll. Like - even in Twilight - Edward could read everyone’s mind BUT Bella. She was a closed book for and that made her interesting to him. It built a sort-of boundary between them, which considering everything, was a good literary choice.

Rhys has all of this access, and knowledge of Feyre that she doesn’t even get the pleasure of telling him (or just letting him experience it). Like that moment where Feyre tells Rhys she was scared, and he retorts back “no you weren’t” is like…quite scary. Idk. It’s just so weirddd. And I’m not asking for these tidbits not to exist. I’m saying that the story never considers any nuance in these issues. Feyre is expressing that she felt these amalgamation of emotions upon seeing Rhys, but he just smiles and tells her how beautiful she thought her was. At one point, Rhys mad feyre so scared she pissed herself (or almost did - I can’t remember) and threw up. She was terrified, violated, and afraid. And Rhys knows this - and he never apologizes. I am not against the idea of Feysand, as many may assume, not inherently. My problem is, the sinister parts do not add nuance. There’s no discussion into Rhysand’s control issue, which is wrapped in a self-sacrificing package. His need to do everything is the exact same as Tamlin’s control issue - they are both very controlling. Rhysand cannot trust his inner-circle. He does nefarious things because he doesn’t trust them to do so even though they’re so supposed to be Prythan’s version of the Avengers. He makes Mor the queen of the CoN…but doesn’t actually trust her to do the job. What I’m saying is - instead of it leveraging Rhysand’s faults into a well rounded character, the book would rather just assume they don’t exist.

[cheekashmeeka]

Feyre: What's going on with Azriel, Cassian, and Mor? Rhysand: We don't meddle 🙂

Feyre: Can we break up Lucien and Elain? Cauldron could be wrong. Rhysand: We don't meddle 🙂

Feyre: But Azriel and Elain would be so good for aesthetics! Rhysand: We don't meddle 🙂

Feyre: Lucien is Helion's son! Rhysand: We don't meddle 🙂

Nesta: *lives alone, drinks, fucks around* Feyre: Maybe we should leave her alone. Rhysand: EVERYBODY LINE UP. Here's your token.

[cheekashmeeka]

this is literally breaking my heart

interestingggg

[cheekashmeeka]

“i do. and i remember feyre rescuing me”

“she’s not even trying”

two of the most irritating and mean lines in the series imo. i try so hard to be neutral about elain but i actually dislike her so much

I believe my mutuals @kataraavatara and @litnerdwrites made a post talking about Elain, and I want to add on.

I don’t like Elain. And I say that with an understanding that she reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger—the way she makes herself small, slips into softness, plays the role of the quiet, gentle one. But that’s not why I dislike her. I think she’s survived by making herself a victim, and that survival strategy gets dressed up as innocence far too often in this fandom.

People always say “Nesta is overprotective,” or “Nesta won’t let Elain make her own choices.” But Elain is a grown woman. She has been for a while. And I’d like to call back this scene in A Court of Silver Flames:

“Like calls to like,” Amren countered. “You were Made by the Cauldron. You may track other objects Made by it as well, as Briallyn can. And because you are Made by it, you are immune to the influence and power of the Trove. You might use them, yes, but they cannot be used upon you.”

A glance to Elain. “Either of you.”

Nesta swallowed. “I can’t.” But to let Elain involve herself, jeopardize her safety—

Amren said, “You tracked the Cauldron—”

“It nearly killed me. It trapped me like a bird in a cage.”

Elain said, “Then I will find it. I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.”

“Absolutely not,” Nesta spat, fingers curling at her sides. “Absolutely not.”

“Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?”

When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

“Then go off on adventures,” Nesta said. “Go drink and fuck strangers. But stay away from the Cauldron.”

Feyre said, “It is Elain’s choice, Nesta.”

Nesta whirled on her, ignoring the warning flicker of primal wrath in Rhys’s stare. “Keep out of this,” she hissed at her youngest sister. “I have no doubt you put these thoughts in her head, probably encouraging her to throw herself into harm’s way—”

Elain cut in sharply, “I am not a child to be fought over.”

Nesta’s pulse pounded throughout her body. “Do you not remember the war? What we encountered? Do you not remember the Cauldron kidnapping you, bringing you into the heart of Hybern’s camp?”

“I do,” Elain said coldly. “And I remember Feyre rescuing me.”

Roaring erupted in Nesta’s head. For a heartbeat, it appeared that Elain might say something to soften the words. But Nesta cut her off, seething at the pity about to be thrown her way.

“Look who decided to grow claws after all,” she crooned. “Maybe you’ll become interesting at last, Elain.”

Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike. Elain’s eyes brightened with pain.

Something imploded in Nesta’s chest at that expression. She opened her mouth, as if it could somehow be undone. But Elain said, “I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

Do I think Nesta is being overprotective in this scene? Absolutely. But she’s not telling Elain she has to stay pliable, docile, or under her wing. In fact, she’s telling her do whatever you want—have a life, make choices, be wild if you want—but don’t put yourself danger.

That line—“you only think of what my trauma did to you”—hits hard in the moment, but it’s not entirely fair. I don’t think Nesta is sitting around thinking about how Elain’s trauma affected her. No—Nesta is thinking about what she did that might have caused Elain’s trauma in the first place. Like when she agreed to scry for the Cauldron during the war, which directly led to Elain being kidnapped by Hybern. That guilt haunts her. It’s not selfishness—it’s responsibility, it’s shame, it’s regret. And that’s a huge difference from what Elain is accusing her of.

Is it healthy? No, absolutely not. But think about it like this—throughout her entire life, Nesta has consistently been shielding Elain from things. From their cruel, abusive grandmother. From the brutal reality of the cabin and the poverty they endured. From the harshness of the world, from faeries, from war. Nesta’s role has always been protector, even when she didn’t know how to do it in a way that was kind or constructive.

So when she tries to stop Elain from engaging with the Cauldron or the Trove, it’s not about control—it’s about falling back into that same instinct: protect Elain at all costs. It’s not healthy, no. But it’s deeply human, and it’s rooted in a lifetime of seeing herself as the only barrier between Elain and the ugliness of the world.

And Elain isn’t innocent in this dynamic—because she let Nesta take on that role. Time and time again, she allowed Nesta to be the shield, the angry one, the wall between her and the worst of the world. She leaned into that softness because she knew someone else would do the hard, ugly protecting for her.

That doesn’t make Elain evil, but it does mean she benefited.

In A Court of Frost and Starlight, we get this moment:

“Nesta is still a part of this family.”

“Is she?” Elain sawed deep into the next loaf. “She certainly doesn’t act like it.”

Elain doesn’t say that with concern. She doesn’t ask why Nesta’s withdrawn or what pain she might be in. She doesn’t express fear for her sister. She frames Nesta’s pain as rejection of them, and then immediately distances herself in return. That’s not support. That’s emotional retaliation.

And then in A Court of Silver Flames, we get this:

“She’s not getting any better. She’s not even trying.”

She wrapped her arms around herself and stared toward the distant sea.

Again, Elain doesn’t ask how she can help. She doesn’t express sorrow, or frustration rooted in love. She just makes a judgment. She assumes Nesta isn’t trying, when in reality Nesta is drowning. That’s not care—it’s condemnation, veiled in softness.

In both of these moments, Elain puts her own pain first. It’s “I feel hurt because she’s distant” rather than “she’s hurting, and that distance might be a symptom.” It’s “she’s not trying” instead of “she might not know how to try right now.”

And this is why Elain’s line in ACOSF—“you only think of what my trauma did to you”—rings hollow. Because Elain consistently thinks of what Nesta’s trauma is doing to her, and not what Nesta is actually going through.

So instead of “you only think of what my trauma did to you,” a more accurate statement would be:

“You carry guilt for the ways you think you failed me.”

Because that’s what it is. Nesta isn’t consumed by what Elain’s trauma did to her—she’s consumed by what she did, or didn’t do, that might’ve caused it. It’s guilt, not selfishness. And that distinction changes everything about how you read that scene.

And Feyre’s little line—“It is Elain’s choice, Nesta”—honestly doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of that scene. Because at the end of the day, Nesta still ends up doing it. Nesta is the one who gets pushed into tracking the Trove, not Elain. So Feyre’s attempt at standing up for Elain’s autonomy is performative at best.

If Feyre truly believed in respecting choices and protecting the people involved, she could’ve said something like, “You might not like this, Nesta, but Elain is going to do it—because you’re still recovering. You’re in a vulnerable place, and we’re not going to put you in danger.”

But that doesn’t happen. Because despite Feyre’s talk about choice, it’s Nesta who’s still expected to sacrifice, to endure, to suffer—even while in what is essentially rehab and battling untreated PTSD from war, death, and trauma.

And this line right here—“Elain doesn’t go near him,” Feyre said. “And you won’t let me near him?”—only cements my point.

Yes, on the surface it’s about who’s going to dance with Eris, but it reveals something deeper: Feyre will not put Elain in danger. She refuses to let Elain step into even a politically uncomfortable situation, let alone one involving risk.

That moment with Eris shows exactly what Feyre is willing to shield Elain from. It makes her earlier line—“It is Elain’s choice”—feel hollow. Because Feyre is quick to step in and say, not her.

Whether she agreed or not, Nesta was always going to be the one to look for the Trove.

[cheekashmeeka]

ohhhh my god

I’m so tired.

[cheekashmeeka]

this is the best way i’ve seen someone explain feysand

[cheekashmeeka]

and he’s smiling as he does it 💫💫🙈 so lovely

this feels... so violent to read. idc what anyone else thinks. this is straight up physical violence against her. Even if Rhys is using his magic- translate that. Imagine if he were actually using his hands and not invisible magic

he is physically exerting force on her body to get her to submit to him. he might as well have put his hands on her and pushed her down and it's fucking disgusting

[cheekashmeeka]

Tamlin in Faerûn

I felt like he deserved tiefling horns and a tail, so I gave him tiefling horns and a tail. <3

@tamlinweek - Day 7 (AU). I can only see him with a ginormous braid now, and since my BG3 hyperfixation has been back and stronger than ever, I just had to put him in Faerûn with this big 'ol braid!

Tamlin fits the Emerald Grove vibe sooo well, too. I love how these turned out. <3

featuring whatever this is ^ 😭

[cheekashmeeka]

the vine crown😫 so cute

@tamlinweek

Day 4 • Powers / Hair

I’m still figuring out how to draw hair so this was a really nice (and challenging) project for me. 💛 It’s not perfect but I like how the braid came out!

[cheekashmeeka]

Nesta isn’t a bitch, she is a mirror.

And somehow this isn’t apparent to the fandom. I’m aware this isn’t a firm, cohesive explanation but I don’t have the brain capacity for this. So take it however it resonates.

Papa Archeron is negligent towards his young daughters. Nesta in return neglects his care and abandons him like he abandoned them. This becomes the foundation for her anger and hatred.

Elain is the nicest sister and treats everyone with ‘compassion’. She offers company, validation, and emotional comfort which Nesta reciprocates and goes beyond that by protecting her from the world.

Feyre is domineering and mean. It’s not explicit in her words in the beginning, but it’s always underscored in her body language, and later on during the fights when Feyre says cruel things to Nesta, which she pays back in kind.

Nesta is wary yet polite to Rhysand, Cassian, and Azriel during their initial visit. Cassian attacks first getting between Nesta and Feyre. Since then the IC treat her with hostility. The one moment Rhysand interacts with her like a person before the High Lords meeting, Nesta humours him and they share a joke. When he threatens her life or tries to control her, she retaliates.

Cassian has seen her as nothing but a vicious animal. He pokes at her, prods at her, which later results in Nesta lashing out. (I do wonder if this is why Nesta was changed from modest to hyper sexual to reflect Cassian’s exaggerated fetishisation. Can’t make him non-creepy if he goes on and on for pages about her ass while Nesta is dead serious about her virtue.)

Morrigan jokes about stealing her dress (from her body iirc) and Nesta comments on hers in return which is taken as an insult.

Amren looks at her with fascination as she does with all things Made, and Nesta reciprocates. That's why the two could develop a brief friendship.

Azriel is cordial and shows basic courtesy at times which she reflects back. He is the only one in the IC who never instigated a direct confrontation, and so their friendship.

Emerie is respectful and considerate when Nesta visits her shop. Nesta offers it back with the training and the solstice gifts.

Gwyneth values genuinity and authenticity. She pushes Nesta in the library until she is her true self instead of feigning politeness.

Nesta isn’t mean, temperamental, or sharp-tongued by herself. Instead she reflects what is directed at her. If she was just an angry bitch, we’d have moments where she lashes out at Gwyneth, Emerie or the priestesses at odd times without reason. Her disdain is always placed where it belongs, when the IC step on her boundaries or control her life, at Tamlin when she remembers what happened with Feyre, or Eris after she gets to know Morrigan’s past.

Nesta rarely initiates any interaction with the others. She needs to be pried into a conversation. She takes her time to gauge someone before she reacts to them. Often times, these first interactions set the pace for the rest of their relationship. That’s why she can have great chemistry with anyone. She mirrors them.

This can be considered a trait stemmed from her grooming which she still uses before building a relationship. Or, a lame writing trick to turn the character SJM butchered in the opening of her very first book into a likeable protagonist. Since Nesta’s inner thoughts don’t indicate she is manipulative enough or actively seeking that kind of validation from anyone, I will go with the latter.