cheesedust

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This speech-language pathologist taught her dog 29 words, and he can even form full sentences.

Video by Christina Hunger

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I think it was before I started posting story concepts on tumblr but I had an old concept called ‘apocalyptia’ which was a dark comedy about a world where every apocalypse movie premise happened simultaneously

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I asked my boyfriend in Canada once, how he deals with polar bears because I was curious about what to do and he was like, just be calm, let them know you’re there, and give them space and they’ll usually just go away. 

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Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

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Sexy symptoms of athletes foot

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How did you realize your blood sugar was low?

Me: well I was reading in bed when suddenly my left leg and foot below the knee started tingling. It didn't immediately click though, so I figured it out 20 minutes later while smacking my foot and trying to come up with reasons for the tingling.

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ok so there’s a game me and my friends play called “don’t get me started” and basically someone gives another person a random topic and they have to go on an angry rant about it and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us at parties and car rides so I highly recommend playing sometimes with your friends

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I bought so probiotics because I am an adult who buys things like probiotics.

They're gummies because they're berry flavored and being an adult fucking sucks.

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Me any time I'm trying to talk at work

over-explaining everything because you’re scared of not making sense or people thinking you’re stupid

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I need everyone to know that my dog is adorable.

He snore.

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I've got an infection in my toe and since I'm diabetic and I lecture other diabetics about proper foot care for a living, I've got to go to the dr and get it checked out. Lame.

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How perfect is this? Isn’t it amazing how small that space is where we get to feel normal, and how hard we have to work just to fit into that tiny space? Baffling. 

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numerically im Fine but physically i feel as though the swift fist of death is making its way throughout my blood

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what is it about rain that makes worms go absolutely buck wild for pavement

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You ever have one of those days where you put your underwear on inside out and the day just kinda goes downhill from there?

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So one of my best friends is staying at my place while she's in town for a few days and tonight shes gone out with another friend to watch the new scary clown movie.

Would it be wrong of me to run to the store while she's gone so I can wake her up at 2 am with scary clown mask?