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Chick Fil-A's Pseudoreligiosity

Ok, it's been a while since my last post, and maybe you thought I got murdered in LA (I didn't - or perhaps this is a Ghost Writer????).  I had heretofore given up on Cheese Sandwich, because I thought I had said everything I needed to be said regarding vegetarian dining in a meat world.  Then Chick Fil-A President Dan Cathy decided to come out and say he believes in a traditional view of marriage, based upon the bible.

I am in favor of gay rights, but I do feel that businesses should be allowed to run as they wish.  If a business wants to be racist or homophobic, that's their choice. My blog has been trying to point out which restaurants are vegetarian/vegan friendly that vegetarians wouldn't normally go to.  Rather than shaming businesses that are anti-vegetarian, I'd rather praise those that are pro-vegetarian.

I've gotten in many arguments with friends that say "Why do you expect steak houses to cater to vegetarians?" or "Just go to vegetarian restaurants!".  But after looking at the outrage against Dan Cathy's comments, it's a good time to underline the apartheid of the food service industry.  At the majority of restaurants in America, vegetarians are unwelcome.  We have to live in ghettos of other vegetarians and vegans until someone with some business sense decides to make a "vegetarian restaurant", which will serve food for vegetarians.

Meanwhile, places like Chick Fil-A serve nothing but chicken products and chicken-laced products.  Even their salads all have chicken as an ingredient.  For a company that claims to follow the Bible, they really pick and choose which practices they follow.  According to Romans 14:13 -

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.

Which, combined with Acts 15:20 -

Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood.

And I Corinthians 8:13 -

Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall.

Lays a pretty clear picture that it is your duty as a Christian to look after your brother should they not wish to eat meat for religious purposes (or even for any purpose).  Yet Chick Fil-A has no option for vegetarians to eat.  We could scramble a side salad and carrot and raisin salad into a meal, but that is really the minimum they could do.

I've long held the belief that you can always tell how good a restaurant is based upon how they cater to vegetarians.  It's like the old Malcom Forbes quote:

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

Based upon the way Chick Fil-A treats vegetarians, it's not really surprising that they are anti-gay marriage.  To argue that their views are defended in the Bible just smacks of hypocrisy and pseudoreligiosity.

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Rocket Pizza - Los Angeles, CA

I am a huge lover of pizza, and while I try to discern good pizza from bad pizza, I like pizza in all formats.  No matter how disgusting the pizza looks or is, I will likely consume it.  Even if I have already eaten a meal, if a pizza is placed in front of me, I will probably take a slice.  With all due respect to the late Johnny Cash, pizza is my cocaine.  That being said, California is known for having awful pizza.  I knew before I left Los Angeles that I had to have one stupid California pizza, and unfortunately Rocket Pizza in downtown Los Angeles was the location for me to get my dumb Californian pizza.

I should point out that Rocket Pizza is not too different from the standard college town pizza places that you'll find strewn across America.  And their pizza options are fairly conservative for what I was expecting from a California pizza place.  However, their eponymous Rocket Pizza was probably the strangest option on the menu - onions, green peppers, mushrooms, feta, and eggs on pizza.  It was basically a breakfast pizza, but without any tomato sauce.  And sadly, that was the one thing I felt necessary for this pizza, as a little tanginess from the tomatoes would have tempered the excessive brackish flavor of the pizza.  The pizza was so salty, that I almost felt nauseous eating it.  And while I try to avoid salty foods in general, I can definitely handle excess salt.

Despite being excessively salty, I made the foolish decision of ordering the stupid Californian style pizza, so I can't fault Rocket Pizza 100%.  The dough was actually pretty tasty, and I would imagine a normal pizza would be quite enjoyable here.  So, I will give Rocket Pizza a presumptuous three and a half cheese sandwiches.  As I presume it would be good, and the pizza is pretty reasonably priced for being LA.

Rocket Pizza 122 West 4th Street Los Angeles, CA 90013 (213) 687-4992

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Ruen Pair - Los Angeles, CA

I told Aaron and Kara that I love Thai food, and they recommended checking out Thai City (or Little Thailand, I can’t remember what they called it).  Basically, it’s an open strip mall that has 7 or 8 Thai restaurants in it, and mandatory valet parking (even though parking is ample).  It definitely had fewer brothels than I expected for being a US-version of Thailand, but it was definitely interesting.  One trend I’ve noticed when it comes to Thai food is that Thai people really like confirming that the food is from Thailand and not anywhere else in southeast Asia (hence the many restaurant names with “Thai” in it: My Thai, Mai Thai, Planet Thai, Pad Thai, Taste of Thai, Thai City, just being a few…).  Aaron and Kara’s favorite place was called Ruen Pair, which from my experience is a good sign if the Thai restaurant doesn’t have to tell you its Thai (although I concede that Ruen Pair might mean “Thai Restaurant” in Thai for all I know)*.

We decided to order three dishes and eat them “family style”, though I convinced them into getting an appetizer first.  We ordered the vegetarian spring rolls, which were pretty standard fare.  I don’t really know why I would expect anything special, vegetarian spring rolls all taste the same.

The first of the three dishes we ordered was the pad thai with tofu (this was my idea).  I know pad thai has oyster sauce and sometimes fish stock, and is not truly vegetarian, but I like it so much.  I was told by the waitress that all of the dishes are truly vegetarian, and don’t have any fish in them.  The pad thai was really tasty, though like spring rolls, it’s pretty hard to screw up pad thai, except for making the noodles mushy, which they were not.

Next up, panang curry with soft tofu, which was a brown curry (with, I am told, no fish stock), which was nicely spicy, and one of my favorite dishes of the night.  Aaron and Kara insisted that we have it with soft tofu instead of fried tofu because we ordered fried tofu with the pad thai.  I just went along with their bizarre notion that you can’t have two dishes with fried tofu (I would have all dishes with fried tofu if I were in charge).  Regardless, the curry was very tasty, even with the soft tofu.

Finally, a dish that I have never tried before in my life.  Sauteed morning glory with garlic.  I had never had morning glory before, and I thought myself to be familiar with most types of vegetables.  This dish is very similar to broccoli rabe, and if broccoli rabe and spinach had a love child, this would be it.  Slightly bitter, with lots of garlic for flavor, I really enjoyed this dish, and paired with the panang curry, was very tasty. I am a big Thai food fan (even places that put “Thai” in their names), and Ruen Pair might be one of my favorite places to get Thai food.  All the food is reasonably price (cheap by LA standards), though you do have to deal with the valet parking.  The restaurant itself is very strip-mally (as you would expect for a strip-mall), and that detracts somewhat from the atmosphere, but you definitely feel that this is the place that Thai people would eat at if they ate out Thai food. So, I’ll give it four and a half cheese sandwiches, only because its not made blatantly clear what does and does not have fish or other meat dishes in it (as you would expect for an Asian restaurant).

*It means "twin house" based upon my Google translate.

Ruen Pair 5257 Hollywood Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90027 (323) 466-0153

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Adventures in Eating: Donut Crawl II: LA Edition

After my first donut crawl, I promised myself that I would never repeat the foolishness and do another donut crawl.  However, I discovered that there are several great donut establishments in Los Angeles, and I couldn't help but try them out.  Consider me a glutton for punishment, or at least, a glutton.

My first stop on the donut crawl was Donut King in Culver City, which was a 30 minute drive from the Valley, and I tried to time it so that my drive was post-rush-hour so that I didn’t have to be stuck in traffic and eagerly waiting for donuts.  The down side of timing your drive to be so late, you miss out on the freshest doughnuts.  I wanted to control for comparing the various donuts, so I ordered the same chocolate frosted donut in each place I went to.  However, in Donut King, I ordered the first chocolate donut I saw, which was actually a chocolate frosted cake donut.  If you’ve ever had a cake donut, you know that this donut crawl was already starting off behind the 8 ball (like ordering a Guiness on the first stop of a pub crawl).  If you haven’t, just imagine trying to eat 3 donuts, after the first donut is a cake!  Regardless, Donut King is a bit of a hole in the wall, which would be a great place to just grab a bunch of donuts then go to your work, but it’s a lousy place to sit and enjoy your donut.  The cake donut was really tasty, if slightly crumbly, and was one of a myriad varieties of donut that would impress even the most jaded donut consumer.  LA is lucky that they have such a great donut shop, and I’ll give it four cheese sandwiches.

Moving on, I stopped by Randy’s Donuts, famed donut stall known for the giant donut on the top of the stall.  This is the mecca for obese people and diabetics, at least for those who don’t prefer the Cheesecake Factory.

While Donut King was a place you wouldn’t feel comfortable sitting in, you literally cannot sit in Randy’s Donuts, as it is simply a shack of donut decadence.  I ordered the chocolate frosted donut, which I liked much more than the Donut King donut, even though the chocolate frosting tasted very carob-y.  The donut was light and fluffy, but at this point scarfing down the second donut in my car made me realize how alone I was.  Not just in the sense that I was doing a donut crawl by myself, but that I realized just how lonely dining alone has made me.  Donut crawls have a way of scouring even the darkest parts of your soul.  That, or I was hitting the trough of a sugar high.  Despite the depression inducing coma that the second donut gave me, I really like Randy’s donuts, and I’ll give it four cheese sandwiches also.

I met up with my friend Cuttino at the Grove, a giant shopping village/Farmer's Market that you might recognize if you watch Extra!  Cuttino is a budding standup comedian, and was spending his time writing at the Borders there.  So, I would stop and visit and somehow never manage to see Mario Lopez!  Nevertheless, to cap off the donut crawl, I stopped by Bob's Coffee and Doughnuts, a stand in the Farmer's Market.  I actually did not want a donut at this point, but I needed to get something at the Farmer's Market to validate my parking.  At this point well beyond the apex of donut enjoyment, I must say that Bob's donuts were actually pretty good.  Unfortunately, I decided to get the chocolate donut, because the cinnamon rolls looked amazing.  However, I have to compare apples to apples.  Bob's donuts, another solid four cheese sandwiches.

I should point out that LA is fortunate to have a wide selection of delicious donut shops.  The reason I do so is that I have heard from several Boston celebrities on late night talk shows complain about how LA does not have a Dunkin' Donuts!  This is the epitome of fake nostalgia.  People leave Boston, think fondly about their times at Dunkin' Donuts, completely oblivious to the fact that it is really awful.  Well, it's not Bruegger's Bagels awful, but it's not something that should be lamented that it is not there, when there are 3 outstanding local donut shops that are vastly superior.

Bob's Coffee and Doughnuts, 6333 W 3rd St # 450 Los Angeles, CA 90036-3109 (323) 933-8929

Donut King, 3970 Sepulveda Blvd # 2 Culver City, CA 90230-4633 (310) 313-3686

Randy's Donuts, 805 West Manchester Boulevard Inglewood, CA 90301 (310) 645-4707

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Plaza Café - Los Angeles, CA

Every once in a while, you get stranded in a place where there is nothing to eat but whatever is available.  I went to the LaBrea tarpits and the LA County Museum of Art (LACMA) to do the usual touristy things that you do there, and it was about 2 pm and I was famished.  However, in that area there's not anything really good within walking distance.  I parked my car in the parking lot of the tarpits, and didn't want to move it until I saw everything.  Thus, I was compelled to try the Plaza Café in the LACMA.

The Plaza Café is your typical cafeteria-style eatery, with salad bar, sandwiches, as well as pizzas.  I saw that they had a veggie burger, and I decided to order it (I had just had a pizza the night before).  Unfortunately for me, the veggie burger was your typical Boca burger style fake meat veggie burger, rather than a more interesting vegetable patty.  The burger was served with these fries that took me a while to realize were garlic fries, because the garlic settled all at the bottom.  That was a very nice touch that I did not expect from a museum cafeteria.  The veggie burger was nothing spectacular but it was enough to satiate my appetite so that I could continue to check out the Japanese pavilion (very cool if you can still check it out), and the rest of the modern art wing of the museum.  If you're ever going to LACMA and the tarpits, try to allot 4-5 hours to see it all, and possibly bring a sandwich next time.

Overall, the food at the Plaza Café was pretty good, and there was a wide selection that catered to vegetarians as well as vegans (not too much for celiacs, but salad options were available).  Thus, I'll give Plaza Café three and a half cheese sandwiches for being very vegetarian friendly and sufficiently edible for a location where I don't actually want to get food, but might need it.

Plaza Café at the LACMA 5905 Wilshire Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90036 (323) 857-6000

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Mozza2go - Los Angeles, CA

When I told my friends who live on the west coast that I was going to go to California, they warned me that the pizza on the west coast is awful.  I knew from previous experience that the ethos of west coast pizza is putting a bunch of ridiculous toppings (like baby corn, eggplant, and pickles) that make the pizzas awful.  However, Aaron and Kara suggested that we try Mozza2go, the takeaway version of Mozza, a restaurant founded by Nancy Silverton, Mario Batali and Joseph Bastianich.  With that combined celebrity, we knew we had no chance of getting at table at Mozza.  Thus, Mozza2go.

We decided to split the funghi misti with taleggio, fontina and thyme.  I am a big fan of mushrooms on pizza, and this took the mushroom pizza to the next level.  Normally, it's plain old white button mushrooms, but this had a nice blend of white button, portobello, and possibly some shiitake mushrooms.  I would have preferred it with tomato sauce, but it was simple and very tasty without.  Apparently all the fuss over celebrity chefs is somewhat justified, and for you east coasters, I think you may finally have a decent place to get a pizza.

When Aaron and Kara first mentioned Mozza, they would talk about the butterscotch budino as if they were part of a cult and butterscotch budino was the Messiah.  Butterscotch pudding, salted caramel crystals, and the most deliciously light creme fraiche that I've ever had was so good that even I was converted to the holy church of Butterscotch Budino.

Mozza2go is a great option for those not prestigious enough to get a table at Mozza, and actually want to get good pizza in LA.  Admittedly, the price is quite steep ($17 for the personally sized fungi misti pizza), but if you really want a treat, it's worth it.  There are plenty of interesting vegetarian options, using an assortment of ingredients and cheeses that you would never hear about outside of Italy.  Because of the exorbitantly high price and lack of vegan or gluten friendly options, I can't give it five cheese sandwiches, but I will gladly give it four.  A very special treat when you're out in LA (but only once in a blue moon, unless your sitcom just got syndicated).

Mozza2go 6610 Melrose Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90038 (323) 297-1130

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Real Food Daily - West Hollywood, CA

When I told my vegan buddy Stromile that I was going to come out to LA for a trip, he said "We should grab some vegan food sometime."  However, by the time that I did go out there, he was observing some religious holiday, so he couldn't eat out (I won't say what holiday, because it'll date when I actually went to LA).  While he couldn't eat with me, he did give me a load of good food recommendations.  Most of the recommendations were places that were vegetarian/vegan friendly.  He told me to check out Real Food Daily because it was a great place to celeb watch.  And I had been in LA for a few days and hadn't seen a single celebrity (I'm not counting a guy that looked like Colin Farrell that drove past me in a vintage Land Rover).  So, Real Food Daily I went!

Real Food Daily is a vegan restaurant that is committed to the vegan lifestyle and promoting healthy eating, balance with nature, and all that other crap that you thought died out with the hippie. Don't believe me? Instead of salt or pepper, they have "sesame seeds" for seasoning!  This is the kind of thing that makes people hate Californians.

The first thing I noticed when looking through the menu was that everything was ridiculously expensive.  I had such sticker shock that I didn't have any idea what to order.  The waitress recommended the RFD burger and the Supreme Burrito with ranchero sauce on the side.  I am not a fan of tempeh (which the burger was made from), so I ordered the burrito with ranchero sauce on the side and taco mix included.  I think the burrito would have been tastier without the taco mix, as the taco mix was either tempeh or some dried-out meat substitute which tasted awful.  I was intrigued by the concept of cashew cheese, but I could barely taste it with all the other flavors that were happening.  The burrito overall was actually quite underwhelming, though filling.  I have had much tastier burritos that had no fake meat or fake cheese, and were much cheaper.

Even though I was pretty full from the burrito and all that sesame seed seasoning, the waitress conned me into getting German Chocolate Cake.  Admittedly it wasn't a hard feat to accomplish, as it's a lethal equation: Cute Waitress + My Gluttony = Ordering Cake.  Despite being $7, I found it very underwhelming.  One of my favorite parts of German Chocolate Cake is the coconut, and you would think that vegan recipes would include a lot of coconut, but I could barely taste it!  The cake was very heavy, and the cake to icing ratio was scant, which was disappointing, because that was what the waitress recommended also.

It is possible that the waitress' recommendations for me were just terrible, but I did not really like the food at Real Food Daily.  I think it's great and all to cater to vegans and emphasize local food, but I would argue that all that fake meat and processed fake cheese cannot be good for you.  If you're going to be a vegan restaurant, I would much rather have simple natural food (like just vegetables, beans, etc.) with the odd tofu or seitan dish, rather than being completely fake food with the odd natural dish.  I suppose that is the great irony of Real Food Daily, it's pretty fake, and not very good.  And the worst part of it all (not my bill for $22!) was that I didn't even see a celebrity.  Next time I'll just dine at the Ivy.  I'll give RFD three cheese sandwiches, as they cater to vegans and celiacs, but serve substandard food.

Real Food Daily 414 North La Cienega Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90048 (310) 289-9910

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Sprinkles - Beverly Hills, CA

If there's one thing that Los Angeles is famous for it is hype.  Some would argue that LA is famous for movies, but really, what is a movie other than a hyped up play?  So, I figured I would explore the hype propaganda that exists in LA to try a few places that I wouldn't normally (because I listed to Chuck D as a child).  What is the pinnacle of hype in the food industry? Cupcakes.  What is the most pretentious place in Los Angeles? Beverly Hills.  So, the logical conclusion for me was to visit Sprinkles Cupcakes on Rodeo (well, technically it's off Rodeo, but still pretty close).

Despite peoples antipathy towards cupcakes, recent studies have shown that cupcakes are one of the few growing industries in this recession, though this may just be another bubble.  I have been to Magnolia Bakery, the source of the whole cupcake hype craze, and never actually thought that the cupcakes were very good.  My friend suggested that I go try the vegan red velvet cupcake at Sprinkles.  To my great chagrin, I actually liked that cupcake a lot! The icing was on the mark, not too sweet, and had the perfect icing to cake ratio so that every bite was amazing.  Admittedly, I wolfed it down in 3 bites, but each was quite pleasant.  My one criticism would be that the candy "V" that they put on, presumably to indicate it is vegan was completely inedible.  However, in my rush to devour the cupcake, it is highly possible that the candy "V" was in fact, not candy.  Unlike Magnolia, the cupcake I had at Sprinkles was really tasty, and despite being in Beverly Hills, there was almost no line to get a cupcake, so even the hype was not as big as in New York.  Furthermore, Sprinkles has a wide array of cupcakes, and multiple selections that are vegan, as well as a few that are gluten-free.  There are even dog-food cupcakes (which makes me like the place less).  Even though Sprinkles makes a great effort to cater to gustatory minorities, I still abhor the cupcake craze, so I won't give it five cheese sandwiches.  But it will get four and a half, probably the best rating I'll ever give for a cupcake bakery.

Sprinkles Cupcakes 9635 South Santa Monica Boulevard Beverly Hills, CA 90210 310-274-8765

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Hugo's Tacos - Studio City, CA

If there's one thing the southwest is known for, it is Mexican food.  And yes, I am including LA in the "Southwest" (it is surrounded by desert, people!).  Aaron and his girlfriend, Kara, were unsure about where to take me (being fans of the blog and fearful of my iconoclasm towards their favorite restaurants).  They asked me where I wanted to go, and I said "I want Mexican food!"  They immediately came up with Hugo's Tacos (a good sign), which fortunately was very close to where they lived in the Valley.

Hugo's Tacos actually has two locations, one in Los Angeles, and one in the Valley in Studio City.  If you've never been to the Valley location it looks like parking lot attendant's office and makes probably some of the finest vegetarian friendly Mexican food I had in LA.  Hugo's Tacos is similar to other burritorium-style restaurants, they have your typical taco, burrito, quesadilla, torta combinations.  The cool part about Hugo's tacos is that it is modular, where you can choose from one of seven different fillings, two of which are vegetarian.  They are: mixed vegetables with herbs, and soy chorizo, potato, and zucchini. I am a big fan of soy chorizo, So, I decided to get a torta with the soy chorizo option.  The torta was filled with organic white beans, guacamole, tomato and onions.  While it was very good, I still prefer the tortas from Tacos Lupita.  Unlike Tacos Lupita, this torta is vegan, as they use vegenaise instead of mayonnaise.  I think the deal breaker for me was the honey chipotle coating of the bread.  It made the torta unnecessarily messy, and I am not a fan of the chipotlification of food.

While I was already stuffed with the torta (it is very filling), I had to try the mixed vegetables filling to see if one was better than the other.  So, I ordered a medium spiced taco with the mixed vegetables.  This was a huge mistake as my definition of medium is completely different from Hugo's.  Though the crispy shell and the mixed vegetables were very tasty, the "medium" sauce was so incredibly hot that I could barely eat the taco.  I should point out that I do have a tolerance of spiciness, so if you do not like spicy foods, stay as far away from medium as you can.

I was thoroughly impressed by the selection of foods at Hugo's Tacos.  They certainly make an effort to try to cater to vegetarians as well as vegans.  Beyond just the two vegetarian options (which is way more than the standard "beans" option), they also have vegetarian burgers that look very good as well.  I would rate the food quite highly, though I would hardly say it is the best Mexican food I have ever had.  I am going to give Hugo's Tacos five cheese sandwiches primarily because they make such a good effort to try to cater to vegetarians and vegans.  Though my food wasn't overwhelmingly amazing for a five cheese sandwich review, I think I just ended up ordering the wrong dishes.  This is definitely a restaurant that I would want to come to again and again.

Hugo's Tacos 4749 Coldwater Canyon Ave Studio City, California 91423 (818) 762-7771

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In n' Out Burger - Sherman Oaks, CA

If there's anything that I try to do by writing this blog, it is to bust hype.  For years, west coasters have always gone on and on about how great In n' Out Burger is, and how nothing can match the quality of In n' Out Burger.  I went through the same experience with Five Guys from DC people.  Aaron, my friend that I was staying with in the Valley lived just down the street from an In n' Out Burger, so he took me to the place so I can see what all the fuss is about.

Aaron insisted that the thing to get at In n' Out was the Animal-style fries, which were fries topped with caramelized onions, cheese, and thousand island dressing.  While that would sound delicious, the fries on their own were very stale and unappetizing.  Even if they were fresh, I don't really see how they are any different from McDonald's fries.  I don't know what exactly makes this "animal" style, perhaps that this is food more fitting for animals than humans? 

In n' Out does not offer anything vegetarian friendly, the only option they had was a cheese sandwich or a grilled cheese.  I ordered the grilled cheese because I wanted something a little hot.  It turned out it was just a cheese sandwich on a toasted bun.  Unlike Five Guys, this cheese sandwich was slightly tasty so I will give it a few points for that.

Surprisingly, even McDonalds (in some locations worldwide) offer veggie burgers. Admittedly it is simply a ploy to get increased sales in markets where vegetarianism is quite high (like India).  When people go on about how places like Five Guys or In n' Out are so great, I have to ask "Do they have a veggie burger?"  In my opinion, any place that doesn't care about catering to a broad spectrum of clientele simply does not take food service seriously.  These local pale imitations of McDonalds will be just that, and until they are willing to cater to vegetarians, I'll give them one and a half cheese sandwiches.

In n' Out Burger 4444 Van Nuys Boulevard Sherman Oaks, CA 91403-2908 (800) 786-1000

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Griddle Cafe - Hollywood, CA

Despite many of my previous protestations, I finally decided to make a trip out to sunny Southern California and check out Los Angeles.  I have some friends that live here that I haven't seen in a while, and I found a really cheap JetBlue flight, so I thought I would take the plunge and visit LA before it fell into the Pacific Ocean (I seriously believe this is going to happen in my lifetime).  When I asked people in Boston who have been to LA for food recommendations, one of the most trusted people I know suggested I go to Griddle Cafe in Hollywood.  When I saw on the website that they had red velvet pancakes, I knew this had to be the first place I went to in LA. 

As I walked down Sunset Boulevard, I felt eerily pleased to be amongst the bastions of entertainment, such as the Directors Guild, the Laugh Factory, Trader Joe's.  For some reason I was under the impression that Griddle Cafe was not a very popular place, however, upon my arrival at 10 AM (on a Tuesday morning!) there was a line of about 15 people waiting to get in.  Fortunately, the service is very speedy and they make a big effort to rush you in and out.  Unfortunately, because of this I didn't really have time to get a good photo of my meal. 

I ordered the "Kicking and Screaming" breakfast tacos, as there are two things I expected out of a diner in LA: good eggs and great mexican food.  The tacos were scrambled eggs, pico de gallo, avocado, monterey jack cheese, with a chipotle cream sauce and served with refried beans.  The refried beans did not have lard in them (according to the waiter).  I really liked these tacos, though the refried beans didn't really seem to fit in the dish.  I think it would work without it, but it was nice to get some beans to complement the tacos.

I ordered the tacos because I was not really feeling like eating something sweet this morning, but I did want to try their french toast.  Their pancakes were five slabs of 8" diameter pancakes and they were far more food than I was ready to eat.  So, I ordered a half order of french toast to go with the tacos.  The french toast was really tasty, and while the tacos were just faintly spicy (perked up with some Cholula sauce I added), the toast's sweetness really felt good after the tacos.

Griddle Cafe is a really cool place, though they constantly rush you and the model/actor waiters definitely had a some attitude.  The food portions are suitable for even the most ravenous Midwesterner, and after eating this meal, I really didn't feel like eating for several hours.  On the down side, while there are few vegetarian options, there are no obvious vegan options.  If I were to judge everything altogether, I'd have to give Griddle Cafe four and a half cheese sandwiches.  It's definitely one of the best diners I've ever been to, despite the fact that everybody else has jumped on this bandwagon.

Griddle Cafe 7916 West Sunset Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90046-3304 (323) 874-0377

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Pazzo - Boston, MA

One of the great perks of having family is a family funded meal at a fancy restaurant.  My uncle notoriously takes his family to really nice restaurants, and every once in a while I get to tag along.  My mother was in town, and she loves Italian food, so my uncle took all of us out to Pazzo, an Italian restaurant in Back Bay.

You are not dining at an Italian restaurant unless you get some quality pain gratis with olive oil dipping sauce.  This was pretty standard fare and nothing to get too excited about.  This makes me wonder: have we reached the tipping point for pain gratis???

My mother ordered the beet carpaccio, thinly sliced pieces of golden and red beets topped with arugula, goats cheese, and drizzled with basalmic vinegar.  This was an interesting variation of beef carpaccio, and it was a really pleasant salad, the bitter arugula contrasted nicely with the sweet beets and the tart goat cheese/vinegar.  I really enjoyed this appetizer.

I ordered the Sicilian arancine, which were refreshingly vegetarian.  From my experience almost all Italian restaurants that serve arancini (or rice balls) stuff them with meat and cheese.  These were just cheese, and served with a saffron cream sauce.  It was a little too sweet for my liking and definitely could have used some tartness to contrast the bland fried rice and mozzarella ball.

We also ordered the warm spinach and goat cheese salad (there were 8 of us there, I'm not a glutton).  You can't really go wrong with fried goat cheese and spinach.  Like the beet carpaccio it was a good combination of sweet and tart (which is part of the reason I didn't really like the arancini).  Unfortunately, this is not really a dish meant for sharing, as there is limited amounts of fried goat cheese, and maximal amounts of spinach.

Finally the entrees come out (I say finally because this review seems interminable, not because it actually took very long).  I ordered the pumpkin ravioli, because ravioli is my favorite format for pumpkin, and I love ravioli.  It was served with some spinach, but was still a little too sweet for my liking.

In contrast, the eggplant parmesan was very bitter, the sauce was very sour, though it was doused with mammoth amounts of cheese.  I wasn't a very big fan of this dish.

I did like the gnocchi however, it was quite light, though my uncle thought it was doughy.  Normally gnocchi is very heavy, but I ate all six dumplings easily and didn't feel too heavy.  The kale and tomato garlic sauce was quite a tasty accompaniment.

My cousin ordered the potato and cheese pizza, though I don't know why.  I'm not really a big fan of potato pizzas, as I find them very bland and uninteresting.  This pizza looks as boring as it tasted.

If you didn't think I'd be full from all the other food, I somehow managed to find some room for tiramasu (there's always room for tiramasu).  If this was made in-house, it was not very good, and tasted as if it was made in a central location and delivered to the restaurant.

While I love Italian food, and find that Italian restaurants are pretty vegetarian (though not necessarily vegan) friendly, I find that most Italian restaurants are not very good.  They usually are very expensive and their menus are pretty unimaginative or uninteresting.  Pazzo falls victim to this common concern, as most of the dishes I had (outside of the beet carpaccio which was amazing) were tastier at other Italian restaurants I've been to.  And considering the fact that we sampled almost every vegetarian entree, I think I have a pretty good idea of what Pazzo's has to offer.  It's pretty good food, but vastly overpriced.  If you ever feel like getting just one dish from a restaurant, I suggest coming to Pazzo's just for the beet carpaccio, because it's great.  Everything else, is così-così. So, I'll give it 3 and a half cheese sandwiches.

Pazzo 269 Newbury Street Boston, MA 02116 (617) 267-2996

[cheezsandwich-blog]

Nick Varano's Famous Deli - Boston, MA

One of the great cliches of the sandwich industry is naming sandwiches after someone famous.  I don't really know a better way of operating, but you definitely get a sense of a restaurant based upon how they name their sandwiches.  A place that has a "portobello wrap", "grilled cheese", and "eggplant parmesan" will usually be a straight-forward no-frills type of place.  However, a place that has the Paganini, the Burt Bacharach and the Sgt. York may or may not have better sandwiches, but they will definitely charge you more (likely because they have to pay for their copyright violations).  Nick Varano's Famous Deli definitely fits into the latter section of sandwich shops.  If you didn't think the North End was overpriced enough, Nick Varano's decided to associate all of the sandwich with local and national celebrities ranging from Eddie Andelman to Dom DeLuise.

I decided to order the eggplant parmesan (because that was the only vegetarian option on the menu), which coincidentally was Frankie D's favorite!  Frankie D was apparently a famous tattoo artist who died (hopefully not from the eggplant parmesan).  I wonder if this sandwich was his favorite because Frankie D was also vegetarian.  Because if you want a non-eggplant parmesan sandwich here, you will not be able to get anything.

The eggplant parmesant was pretty tasty (if slightly greasy); I enjoyed the San Marzano tomatoes and the focaccia was quite tasty (despite not being made on-site).  But for over $10, I wouldn't recommend it.  For having a lack of options as well as being overpriced, I'm giving Nick Varano's Famous Deli two cheese sandwiches.  Maybe next time they could add a hummus wrap ("Natalie Portman's Preferred Choice!") or portobello melt ("Moby's favorite!").

Nick Varano's Famous Deli 66 Cross Street Boston, MA 02113-2314 (617) 391-0050

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Candleworks Restaurant - New Bedford, MA

My uncle in New Bedford invited me down for the weekend as his sister-in-law’s family was coming down as well, and he thought it would be a good idea to flood New Bedford with Indians.  Ironically that was the way Moby Dick started...  Anyway, as most of the places we went to I’ve already been, we finally ended up trying a new place called the Candleworks in downtown New Bedford.  The Candleworks Restaurant was a former candle factory, and is a building that has been in New Bedford since the 1900’s (It’s funny that saying “early 20th century” doesn’t feel very long ago).

The Candleworks is a typical New Bedford restaurant, mostly surf and turf, with very limited vegetarian options.  The bread is a rubbery Italian style bread, and is served with olive oil/parmesan dipping sauce that provides some flavor.  I think we’ve reached the point as a society where we expect dipping sauce with bread, to the point that people spend less time making good bread, and more time on the dipping sauce.

I ordered as an appetizer the mushroom duxelles, which was stuffed mushroom caps filled with a mushroom puree, hazelnuts and garlic.  The mushrooms were pretty good, though they used the typical white mushrooms that have the least flavor, so I was pretty underwhelmed.

My uncle’s sister-in-law got the hummus plate (as the other vegetarian in the group), and that too was pretty average.  I sort of annoys me that people charge $7 for a plate of pureed chickpeas with fried pita chips.  Oh, I’m sorry, they put a few slices of roasted red peppers...

The salad that came with my entree.  A picture is worth a thousand words, but a thousand words would be indulgent to describe this salad.  It’s a salad.  Description done.

I ordered the penne alla vodka, which came with a medley of vegetables.  I can’t imagine the conversation involved in coming up with the menus: “Hey, we forgot to make a vegetarian entree!” “Crap!  What do vegetarians eat?” “Bread?  Pasta?” “Ok, let’s make a penne alla vodka!” “Yeah, let’s throw in a bunch of vegetables too, because that’s what those people like!” “But don’t you think that the vegetable flavors might convolute the vodka flavor?” “Whatever, nobody’s gonna order that anyway.” “Agreed!  Let’s go get drunk and tell racist jokes!”*

Despite the fact that I was full from all of those unsatisfying calories in this meal, my uncle conned me into ordering dessert, because he wanted to hang around for the song and dance.  Every friday night, there is a Neil Diamond impersonator (or possibly Neil Diamond) who sings songs for 70 year old men to dance with 50 year old women.  Apparently the Candleworks is a Wine Bar for older people (Wine Bars are places where 50 year old men pick up 30 year old women).  I ended up ordering a mint oreo cheesecake, which was thoroughly disappointing.  From my experience, no matter how awful the seafood or steakhouse is, the desert is usually pretty good.  But at Candleworks, even the dessert is pretty awful. Overall, the food quality at Candleworks is pretty bad, and it is in a dank pit atmosphere.  I would only recommend coming here if you like singing sea shanties to very old people. But be warned, you may be player hating, so don’t talk to any couples.  There is very little for vegetarians, one pasta dish (penne alla vodka) that’s suitable for vegetarians, and a vegan penne with vegetables (no cream sauce, just vegetables).  Both of which are overcooked and terrible.  So, I’ll give Candleworks one and a half cheese sandwich, the only merit being the possibility of seeing the best Neil Diamond impersonator (Neil Diamond) ever. *I’m not implying that the owners of Candleworks are racist.  I’m not even saying that chefs who don’t make vegetarian entrees are racist. I’m just saying that people who hate vegetarians are probably filled with so much hate that they MIGHT be racist too.  Vegetarians are filled with too much self-satisfaction to hate.

Candleworks Restaurant 72 N Water St # 4 New Bedford, MA 02740-6264 (508) 997-1294

[cheezsandwich-blog]

Thinking Cup - Boston, MA

For years, Starbucks been promoting the concept that a company can run a "great coffee shop" without serving good food.  Kenny informed me that a new coffee shop opened on Tremont street by the Common called Thinking Cup Coffee Shop.  When I first arrived at Thinking Cup, I thought "Thievery Corporation at 9:30 AM?  I can get into that."  I am a big fan of Thievery Corporation, but almost every restaurant that plays their music just smacks of pretense (and not in a way that I like).

The coffee at Thinking Cup is pretty good, in fact I would argue it is some of the best in Boston.  However, all of their staff has this obnoxious hipster attitude.  Not Jamaica Plain hipsters (we get along), but more like Portland hipster (the pinnacle of hipsterdom).  I recently became enamoured of the pourover style of coffee (where they pour hot water over coffee).  For some reason, this coffee has far more complex flavors than regular coffee.  So, I decided to order a cup of coffee, and the "barista" asked "What flavor do you want?" and then pointed to a 8" x 12" sign 20 feet away.  I wasn't about to walk all the way over to the far end of the bar just to read what 3 flavors of coffee existed, so I just asked him to tell me.  The service is a little too into themselves to actually take your order, but when you get your coffee, it's worth it.  I should also point out that the coffee is surprisingly small for what you're paying for.  The smallest size is 8 oz, so paying over 3 bucks for an 8 oz coffee is a little steep.

Oh, I forgot to mention that this is a food blog (but you already knew that, right?).  I ordered the egg and cheese on an English muffin sandwich, which was pretty good, though I would argue a little steep for four dollars.  The annoying part of their breakfast sandwiches is that meat is built into the price.  So, if you just want an egg and cheese, you have to pay as if you wanted a sausage/bacon/ham with eggs and cheese.

While I have already sort of made up my opinion of Thinking Cup, I thought I would at least try out their grilled cheese sandwich to give them a fair review.  The grilled cheese is the only vegetarian sandwich on their meager sandwich menu.  I have always said that good bread is the greatest barometer of how good a sandwich is going to be.  Unfortunately for this grilled cheese, the bread was so much better than the cheese.  If you're going to use really nice bread for your grilled cheese, you can go better than Kraft slices.  The grilled cheese was very cheesy, but it was unsatisfyingly so.

The food at Thinking Cup is just as awful as you'd expect to find in Starbucks.  I would argue that the coffee is considerably better.  However, the attitude is much worse (yes, it is possible to be snootier than a Starbucks barista!), and the prices are much higher.  For these reasons, I don't think I can give Thinking Cup more than two cheese sandwiches.

Thinking Cup 165 Tremont Street Boston, MA 02111 (617) 482-5555

[cheezsandwich-blog]

Upstairs in the Square - Cambridge, MA

My mother came into town for her spring break, so I’ve been on a temporary hiatus from reviewing restaurants as I have been eating loads of home cooking (and home-cooked leftovers).  I thought I’d pay her back (as best I could with my meagre salary) and take her out someplace nice.  We ended up going to Upstairs in the Square in Harvard Square, which is one of the most convoluted restaurants I’ve ever been to (and that includes Vapiano).  There are multiple different dining rooms, each with a similar, yet slightly different menu.  We started on the first floor, and told the hostess we were mostly vegetarian, so she said “You should try the Supper Club menu, there is a vegetarian prix fixe.”  So, we decided to climb up to the top level which was decorated like an Alice in Wonderland tea party.

We actually ended up not ordering the vegetarian prix fixe which was a 5 or 7 course meal for 50-70 dollars (depending on how many dishes you wanted).  Funnily enough, most of the dishes on the prix fixe were available à la carte, so we decided to split a few entrées and appetizers.  The free bread (pain gratis, if you prefer pretense) was tasty despite being sourdough.  I don’t like sourdough, but I do like free bread, so I’ll say the bread made me morally conflicted.

Our waiter told us that he really liked us, so he had the chef make us some cheese gougères, which were basically fried cheese puffs.  They were quite fantastic, and we were really excited to get these for free.  That was until we saw our waiter say the exact same thing to another table.  That actually broke my heart almost as much as my last girlfriend, because you expect that from someone you are involved with emotionally, but not a waiter!  He even invited us to come visit him in Brazil during the World Cup in 2014!

After that, we tried to salvage the dining experience despite that overt betrayal.  Fortunately, my mother’s Jerusalem artichoke soup was phenomenal, with bits of sorrel and black trumpet dried mushrooms providing texture contrasts to the perfectly salted and flavoured soup.  I am not a big fan of soups, but even I was impressed by this soup.

I ordered the roasted beet salad with horseradish panna cotta, which was a phenomenal dish.  The sweetness of the beets paired with the sinus-clearing flavor of the horseradish was an intriguingly tasty pairing.  I could eat this all day.

Unfortunately, there was only one entree for the three vegetarians, which was mixed winter root vegetables with gnocchi.  Almost all other gnocchi dishes that I have ever had were very heavy and filling, this dish was magically light.  It was minimally salted, and the contrasting flavors of brussel sprouts, carrots, parsnips, mushrooms and chestnuts with pesto created a delightfully tasty broth remaining after the dish was finished.

At this point I was pretty full, but we had to order dessert.  My cousin ordered churros with chocolate syrup and cinnamon ice cream which was phenomenal.  Each item (churros, syrup, ice cream) would have been delicious on their own, but in combination were amazing.

I ordered the gateau noisette, a hazelnut mousse torte with hazelnut butter cream and hazelnut ice cream.  It was a little too hazelnutty for my liking, and I like hazelnut.  At this point I wished I had gotten the churros instead.  Apologies for the blurriness.  At this point I was approaching a diabetic coma.

My mother ordered the chocolate pecan turtles, which were chocolate covered pecans with a brown sugar caramel.  These were very tasty, but ludicrously sweet, to the point that I could only eat a half of one (okay, maybe one and a half) of the three turtles. Upstairs in the Square in my opinion is a little pricey, but definitely worth going if you want to experience fine dining.  The service is very friendly (perhaps too friendly – don’t get emotionally attached to your waiter, they’ll break your heart).  I know I gave a glowing review of Rialto, but I would say that Upstairs in the Square is better than Rialto.  There are not a lot of vegan options (the gnocchi had egg, the soup and salad all had dairy), so for that I can’t give them five cheese sandwiches.  But I will give them four and a half cheese sandwiches.

Upstairs in the Square 91 Winthrop Street Cambridge, MA 02138 (617) 864-1933

[cheezsandwich-blog]

Masa - Boston, MA

With the improved weather, comes more trips down to the South End for lunch.  I really enjoy walking in the South End because I love pretending that I live in wealthy neighborhoods.  Sam, Vernon and I decided one day to go to Masa (actually we wanted to go to Picco, but it was packed).  Since Sam’s girlfriend has been in town for a while, they’ve been trying to eat at nice restaurants once a week, and he told me that Masa makes a very good brunch.  We weren’t going for brunch, but from his description it sounded like a good choice.

Unlike Picco, nobody was eating at Masa.  I guess nobody else had heard about the brunch.  We got a nice table by the window and out came the pain gratis (this is my neologism for the year (last year was “primanocht”, you’re welcome America).  The pain gratis was an assortment of corn and crusty breads.

The breads came with a sampler of chipotle hummus (left), maple butter (middle), and red pepper cream cheese (right).  As good as the bread was, the sampler of dips/spreads was much better.  I really enjoyed the maple butter and red pepper hummus, mostly because I’ve grown weary of the chipotlification of modern cuisine (making a “chipotle-” something has become cliche in fine dining). 

There were not a lot of vegetarian dishes on the lunch menu, but what was available did seem interesting.  I ordered the fall vegetable vegetable burrito, which was filled with carrots, parsnips, and other boring vegetables.  I should probably go back in spring (i.e. now), as spring vegetables are way tastier than fall vegetables.  However, the biggest disappointment of the burrito is the deconstruction of it.  All the flavor (i.e. guacamole and salsa) was on the corn leaf, rather than in the burrito!  So, I had to unwieldily dip the burrito into the guacamole/salsa to make it flavorful.

Sam ordered the butternut squash soup and salad combination, and I actually enjoyed primanochting his soup, which was very flavorful, with a faint glimpse of spiciness.

However, nothing could match the chile dusted fries for taste and flavor.  I don’t think you can go wrong with spicy fries (outside of them being oversalted, which these were not).

Masa’s menu is very vegetarian unfriendly (with only one dish being a dedicated vegetarian option).  This is particularly surprising for a southwestern themed restaurant.  From my brief excursions into the southwest, there are plenty of dishes that are vegetarian friendly (or can be made vegetarian friendly).  However, the food at Masa is very tasty.  However, no matter how good the sides and pain gratis is, I can’t promote dining at a place that doesn’t really want vegetarians to eat there (as evidenced by having only one dish that is not particularly great).  So, I’ll give Masa two cheese sandwiches, also for the fact that their website commits ALL the cardinal sins of stupid web design (flash intro, music playing without you wanting it to, having to download PDFs just to read the menu, etc.).  Go with meat eating friends and just fill up on the bread.

Masa 439 Tremont Street Boston, MA 02116 (617) 338-8884