cherries-y

[cherries-y]

first day of senior year and i only felt mortified.

i wanted to dress cute for the first day right? i thought my mom jeans outfit was so cute and trendy before going to school. little did i know everyone else had lost weight over the summer while i had gained it. 🙈😭 all of my close friends are so thin too.. sitting between them in the assembly had me disgusted with how big i was. don’t even get me started on the crotch when sitting with these pants. had i not got loona tickets today i probably would’ve cried lol

gotta get back on my sht fr

[cherries-y]

the whole situation wouldn’t be like this if he wasn’t fatphobic or if i was skinny tbh

[cherries-y]

both of my best friends like me and we are struck in a love triangle 😭😭 except he manipulated my girl best friend and i to pit against each other ??? i’m literally living in a scary rom com

[cherries-y]

life is fucked up

[cherries-y]

Why can't I just fucking relapse already..

Like, I'm so sick of being a burden just because of my weight

[cherries-y]

yesterday was not it 🤣

i unintentionally skipped school and apparently my parents had both talked to me in the morning. i was rude asf just trying to get them out of my face 😟 i slept literally all day until like 2. i woke up and tried to finish the work that i could… i asked my mom to bring me home food but she said no bc i needed to go to school to earn my other privileges 😭 she came home and yelled at me, saying that i take all the things she gives me for granted. i kinda just sat there and took it bc i know she’s right. my dad came in there and apologized for all of it. and he wanted to make sure that i was okay, that i didn’t skip school just because i can. i told him that i didn’t mean it but there’s definitely something wrong. we talked about maybe getting so help to figure out what’s going on and he recommended that i talk it out with mom. i went outside with her for about an hour discussing everything. i apologized and told her how bad things have gotten. she also opened up to me with her struggles and we talked about how we needed to be there for each other. she wants to give me my space to find out who i am but she wants me to realize that i always have her to fall back on. in conclusion i’m getting a psychiatrist lol 🤣🙏

[cherries-y]

my body looked the best when my best friend was in the mental hospital ? 😟😅😂

[cherries-y]

my friend only wants me to get a bf so that he can slid in on my best friend 💀 thanks for the support guys 🥸🙏

[cherries-y]

hung out w my longtime baefy last night 😁😁🫶🏼😵‍💫

he was so cute searching for me in the auditorium and when we would look at each other to react in a group setting. he literally exceeded my expectations. WHEN HE LOOKED DOWN AT ME IN HIS PERFORMANCE COSTUME 😭😭😭🫶🏼 WHEN HE SMILED AT ME FROM THE STAGE AHHHH 😻 his aesthetic is hot asf too. holy shit.

[cherries-y]

months of training gone in two weeks 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[cherries-y]

bitch im at my highest weight in months i’m freaking tf out

[cherries-y]

my return 😜

[cherries-y]

but like do i need to log it in my fitness pal if i threw it up????

[cherries-y]

UGH ! i don’t chase i attract 🤗🤗🤗🤗 who do i think i am getting upset over a man.

[cherries-y]

i’m gonna throw up everywhere!!! i feel so alone

[cherries-y]

i just want to rip my fat off my body

[cherries-y]

everything is falling apart right now