chloesentries - Tumblr blog

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losses

never again am i going to lose my mind over someone who was okay with losing me

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"i wish i wrote the way i thought obsessively incessantly with maddening hunger i'd write to the point of suffocation i'd write myself into nervous breakdowns manuscripts spiralling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing and i'd write about you a lot more than i should"

benedict smith

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i wanna kiss, kiss your eyes again

wanna witness your eyes loooking

i don't wanna talk about anyone

i don't wanna talk about anyone

wanna sleep in your car while you're driving

lay in your lap when i'm crying

anything by adrianne lenker

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springtide flashbacks

days are getting warmer

and i wind up thinking of you

i roll the windows down in the passenger seat of your little blue car

our shared playlist drifting through the speakers

i'm singing along to a tune we're both familiar with and you smile at me like i'm the brightest light in your life

the air is cool; your hoodie the perfect blanket and the spring breeze flows through my hair and skims the loose lining of your car's ceiling, mimicking ocean waves

-

days are getting warmer again

and i still think of you

i cocoon myself in the little warmth my empty bed provides

a deafening silence surrounds the atmosphere

and the undrawn curtains hinder any sunlight spilling through to the dark abyss of my room

the air is still and tears trickle down my cheeks, sinking into a hoodie i wish wasn't my own

visions of us swim in my mind

and drown in the unavoidable reality of what we are now ... nothing

[chloesentries]

healing

17/04/24 - losses

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hurting

10/04/24 - springtide flashbacks

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loving

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works

loving

hurting

healing

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bedsheets, no clothes

touch me like nobody else does

ceilings by lizzy mcalpine

[chloesentries]

tunes

a series of song lyrics that encapsulate how i feel and remind me of him/us

anything by adrianne lenker

ceilings by lizzy mcalpine

[chloesentries]

intro

as of april 2024, i’m four months into my first breakup from a long-term relationship and i’m still not doing well.

my friends tell me that healing isn’t linear and it comes in waves. and although it sometimes feels like it’s getting better, one lonely night is all it takes to bring me back to square one.

i read somewhere once that you should “let it hurt and let it go. the healed version and unhealed version of you cannot co-exist.”

i’ve created this blog as a means to express my thoughts; a coping mechanism or rather outlet, if you will.

anytime a song or piece of prose reminds me of him this blog will become a keepsake for all my unspoken feelings.

i hope to one day post a final entry when i’ve moved past it all but as of now, if you’re reading this, enjoy the mess that is the product of a loud mind and aching heart.

[chloesentries]

intro

a little bit about me

works

bits n pieces of writing

tunes

lyrics that have that familiar feeling