chloyappa

[chloyappa]

guys if u have tips for writing a research paper pls tel me im actually drowning in stress this is my first rodeo and more than half of my group is deadbeat

[chloyappa]

I WANNA REDEEM MYSELF AS THE NUMBER ONE KENMA FAN!!!!

my credentials:

-got my mother to buy me and my cousin a kenma body pillow at the ripe age of ten

-everyone who has ombre hair in public is kenma. always pointed out to my cousin.

-everyone in my family and ALL of my friends associate me with KENMA.

-has like a million kenma x reader drafts from over the years

-read all kenma x reader fics on wattpad at 2020

-do you even know about when kenma got cancelled on twt? or is that too niche

-ALL of my crushes have at least five traits that are similar to kenma (ALL of them are GAMERS.)

-I GOT MY NIECE (whose like a year old) to say KENMA. KENMA.

-most of my daydreams r just me and kenma like. hangin out n stuff like best friends we are. bffs even.

-out of like the ten edits ive scrapped and posted online, 8 of those were kenma

-i have a picture of kenma on the back of my phone which i drew by hand

- even if most of my merch is mob psycho, kenma remains in ALL of my social media.

-kenma. is like plastered all over my laptop.

-man i love kenma. i loved him even before i watched haikyuu

RECEIPTS:

n like so much more what the fuck?! i cant show you guys more bcuz like... u guys'll find out who i am!

[chloyappa]

moon melon

—kenma x reader ! oneshot

for some reason, you had your happy crush—kozume kenma—added on roblox. you can search every nook and cranny of your brain and you wouldn't be able to recall a single moment you'd interact with him.

you tried swiping past appl_p1 with grow a garden under, trying to find actual friends you can play grow a garden with.

none. other than some random people you added two years ago.

you decided to play on a public server—fighting against your moral compass saying NO—and risk your ginormous golden eggplant getting stolen. and also fighting against all thoughts that hope the roblox gods bless you and send you to the same server as kozume.

the screen loaded, slightly lagging because of your shit internet, and started walking around.

what a beautiful—oh my fucking GOD? what a sprinkler method abuser! you thought to yourself when just a little less than half of your garden was totally eaten by a shit ton of oversized moon melons.

but what was more interesting is the collect button tempting you to steal that one moon melon.

the colors danced around your screen, luring you in like a toddler watching dancing fruits; rainbow aura surrounding the big, disco mutated moon melon.

your finger hovered over the fruit. not only was it disco, it was also gold, wet, moonlit, AND bloodlit.

it's only 37 robux. imagine how much that would sell for?

what can i lose? other than the robux, that is.

you clicked the collect button, paid the 37 robux, and happily steal the fruit that would make you a billionaire. for a second, you felt like the most successful thief in the world—HELL, maybe you could even challenge bonnie & clyde—but good things come to an end.

a bacon head approached you, obviously furious.

appl_p1: my moon melon appl_p1: GIVE BACK MY appl_p1: #### ### ############# appl_p1: i have ten nukes directed to ur house

oh? and all you can do is smile at the sight of kozume berating you over some stupid game. for all he knows it's actually you behind the screen. so it's fine. you calmly type back in chat,

[user]: lolol [user]: what a nerd [user]: getting pissy boiiii

you scoffed at myself, fighting with my crush.

you noticed his character now still, unlike earlier which was jumping around you. you pursed your lips, anticipating everything but what he was going to say.

appl_p1: [name]. appl_p1: give me my MOON MELON appl_p1: IM ACTUALLY GOING TO POUNCE ON YOU appl_p1: DONT GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW

oh, so he remembered. HE KNOWS WHO I AM! he remembers that he added ME. MY roblox account.

it's like a switch turned on in you—that 37 robux turned into nothing as you gifted back his moon melon and jumped around his avatar, hoping that he'd forgive you even without an apology.

but you guess gifting his fruit back was an apology?

[user]: sorry kozume [user]: i didnt knoe it wad u [user]: promise i wouldnt even even graze my finger tip against ur fence

his character then jumped around yours, holding out an abnormally large, shocked mushroom. then the gift thingy popped up on the side of your screen.

...

WHAAAAATT!!!

[user]: WHAT appl_p1: take this one instead appl_p1: figured u needed more appl_p1: and call me kenma appl_p1: kozume is so... idk i dont like it

you felt heat rush to my face when you accepted the gift, holding yourself back from squealing like a rat at 12 in the morning.

appl_p1: tho i gotta admit ur weird as hell

but that didn't matter to you. you jumped around his avatar, typing different varieties of typos in thank yous.

you favorited the fruit in your inventory and teleported to your garden to see what was up. it was actually just an excuse to prove to kozume that you don't have a crush on him and that you actually am just a normal person playing with him that joined his server out of the millions of public servers and hahahahahahshaahahahahhdhhdhdndndnd

ok. your brain short-circuited. you were mindlessly jumping around in your garden and climbing the trees, finding something to do in the game.

appl_p1: wanna play vb legends?

you swore you envisioned steam coming from your scalp from how broken your brain was at the moment. giddiness actually made you physically ill.

[user]: Ondl [user]: o [user]: ok [user]: tomrorow. bai kemna

and with that, you swiftly left the game and proceeded to stay up until 4 AM daydreaming about kenma.

holy shit post. sorry for ass grammar brah... writing is NOT my strong suit

[chloyappa]

Karasuno Headcanons

—except it's stuff i relate to

HINATA

he loves bananas. his diet consists of at most five bananas in one day. he has one for every meal of the day and two snack breaks where he eats something (a cracker or something) with a banana.

KAGEYAMA

hates eating liver to the point that he gags at the smell of it. no one understands how he's able to point it out in every meal they serve him.

YAMAGUCHI

accidentally inhaled smoke from a vape and never did it ever again because he had a coughing fit that lasted five minutes. scared he was gonna die from choking and tsukishima was just laughing at him.

TSUKISHIMA

biggest math nerd. loves math. all the smart people in his class come to him to ask questions about problems. (exasperated sigh before helping them but he feels prideful under he frown)

YACHI

worms are her worst nightmare and is her number one enemy. the moment she sees even a little baby maggot she screams in fear and scrambles to find someone to get rid of it

NOYA

noya's smile never falters during a match; everyones frown could reach their toes in the middle of a bad match and he'd be smiling radiantly in back court even if he feels pressured. he saves the frowns for the aftermath.

TANAKA

number one hypeman. he could be a quiet kid's group mate and he'd be joking around and praising them for the littlest things like he knows their mama

ENNOSHITA

always chosen as a leader (even out of volleyball). dreads the moment the teachers announce a group work because—most likely—they'd choose him even if there was someone else much better than him academically.

KINOSHITA & NARITA

they live for pop culture references. the most unseen people in the karasuno's volleyball boy's team are the wittiest. they could recognize any pop culture reference and could talk about one you could've sworn they just pulled out their asses. (they're just balls deep in stan twt)

ASAHI

believes in you ask, you receive—except he actually waits for someone to ask about himself before he opens up.

for example; asahi has been going to the gym regularly for three years, and no one knows because no one asks

SUGAWARA

he ropes everyone into eating buldak—the cheesy carbonara, the nuclear, the chicken flavored one. he convinces all of his friends to put the most amount of sauce in their foods.

and even with that, there'll always be left over sauce, so he gulps everything down. his friends are confused how he's still sunshine and flowers at the end of every buldak session.

DAICHI

roblox diehard. nobody expects this from a guy who's deadass serious with everything—but being an older brother to four little siblings, they always manage to break that serious facade by pestering daichi to play roblox every time they're all together (which is like everyday).

KIYOKO

unexpectedly has big biceps. everyone assumes she's all just beauty—WRONG!! she once beat sugawara and tsukishima in an arm wrestling match and everyone's respect for her doubled down. (i don't have biceps i just wanted to add this)

[chloyappa]

Kenma Headcanons

as a certified kenma glazer (est. 2020)

has the shittiest eye sight EVER. refuses to wear glasses because he says it'll make him stand out more

has really bad shrimp posture

hes locked in his room the summers—i mean literally locked the room because his mother would pester kuroo to drag him out his room to go out and play something.

^ but kuroo always ends up in his room whenever he's asleep from an all nighter of straight gamer gains. it creeps him out because he doesn't know how he gets in.

kenma has a group of girls tripping over themselves for him; he's terrified one'll break into his room like how kuroo does.

also has a group of girls who ships him with kuroo. he found out when kuroo recieved a letter with a hand drawn picture of them cuddling under a cherry tree. because of that, he actively avoids girls who seem too involved in anime and fandom stuff

he loves but won't admit it putting his hair up with clips and headbands during practice. doesn't matter if it has a flower on it or bows, he'll use it.

yamamoto's sister took this (^^) as an opportunity to gift kenma a bunch of cutesy clips and headbands she has laying around. he wears a bunch of them everyday, even out of practice.

everyone babies him excessively that he hates it. he thinks it unnecessary to give him much attention if there are other people who have crazier potential than him (lev).

contrary to popular belief (i just wanted to say that) teenager, 17 y/o kenma would NOT post anything on socmed unless it's an account where no one knows its him.

^ but he does have a reddit account that serves the purpose of answering questions in groups for games he loves

hes that one japanese guy who has kksjsksksks for a username that would always win 1st place in mario kart within, like, one minute. you'd hate him.

hates bugs. insects. worms. anything that he could grab by the hand and has either at least 4 legs or none at all.

sweats easily under the sun. like if that boy steps out just for a minute, expect sweat all over his forehead and nose

once developed a crush on a girl because she actually beat him once in a game—it then quickly died the moment he found out she actively reads boys love manga. not that he's homophobic or anything.

nobody expected him to be rich and successful. most thought he'd grow up to be a hikikomori, even him, until he got bored of gaming and decided that he'll do stocks since its, like, the most logical thing to do. haha!

kozume kenma from nekoma is a bitch on court but he's actually a nice guy out of court. i want him to marry me.

^ a guy (who allegedly lost against nekoma) posted this anonymously on facebook and a classmate showed it to him. he muttered a quick ok and went back to doing whatever but he was actually very startled and bothered by the post. he deleted his facebook app and didn't go on it for a week.

everyone in his class asks him to choose whoever plays in certain games during sports festivals. whenever he chooses most of the time they win the games n win the overall event.

[chloyappa]

wanting to talk to people is so fucking embarrassing. literally hi it's me again I wanted to have a conversation with you because I think you're fun to talk to. oh god you can just fucking kill me if you want sorry