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[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

This is soo beautiful 😭😭🥺🥺💕💕💕

𝑇𝒉𝑒 𝑉𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑦 𝑊𝑒𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔

This is 4 @choices-ethanramsey-4life

Tysm 4 all supporting me

[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

New fic!!!! Called: Our feelings out loud...

This is a Two part fic based on Ethan and Samanthas love confession.

Pairing: EthanXmc (Samantha Valentine)

Warning: none pure fluff! So much fluff.

P.s. the timeline of this is in the second book in between the start and middle...

Story description for part 1:

Samantha and Ethan have been there for each other had a relationship but never had given it a real name. They claim it’s just two friends at times or even just a mentor and mentee relationship but it’s more than that... Way more than that. Will they realise it?

Morning sun peers in through the autumn sky. Samantha sat up in bed finding herself lost in thought. Unable to think of anything else but him...

“Samantha! Samantha! Get your ass up we need to leave in 20 minutes I’m not waiting for you to get coffee like last time!” Jackie yells as Sienna popped her head in.

“Hey you ok?” Samantha snapped out of her thoughts.

“Oh yeah give me a minute.” She quickly got ready as the three girls left. As Aurora left wit Elijah who started their shift a little early.

She walked out wearing a simple white button up with black flair trousers. With a simple bracelet and her locket.

“Samantha!” Bryce shouted by the entrance as she turned back and caught up with him.

Walking into the office Baz sat there smiling. “Your looking different today.”‘taking in her new style for once without her skirt and top.

“Yeah something new. Looks good?”

“Oh yeah definitely.” June sat in her chair smiling drinking her coffee.

Ethan enters file in hand as Samantha sat down. They look at each other.

She’s wearing white...my favourite colour

He’s wearing dark green my favourite colour...

They were taking in the new looks as Ethan finally managed to tear his eyes away and clears his throat.

“Right shall we start?”

The whole time she paid attention to each word but until after they were dismissed he called after her.

“Samantha can I say something.”

“Sure.” She looked at him as he begins to say

“Are you ok? Because lately you see more worn out and I’m just worried that...” she nods lost into the deep blue crashing blue waves of his eyes. Each word seems to fade out as she takes in what is happening.

Oh god. Pay attention what am I doing?!

“Samantha?”

“Yeah?”

“So? Is everything ok?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry I should...go and help the patient...with their problem...” she awkwardly backs away bumping into the door as she leaves.

***Ethans POV***

Ok. I’ve seen Samantha Shes been weird before but this... it’s a new level of weird. Why? Hang on. Why do I care? She can be weird all she wants.

I walk out to find Naveen but around the corner someone crashed into me dropping my file the other person paper flying as I grab her wrists pull her close. Samantha?

Our face inches from each other my hands around her waist and hers on my shoulders. Our bodies dangerously close to each other’s.

“I’m soo sorry.” She looks apologetic as she let go picking up the mess of papers. I do as well

“No it’s ok. Are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine don’t worry.” She reassured.

We pick them up as my hand touches her cold hands. Jesus they were freezing.

***Samanthas POV***

As he ends up holding my hand in the process our eyes lock again momentarily. I gaze down focused on the papers. Blood rushing to my cheeks. We stand up as I notice he’s still holding my hand.

“What?” I look at him as I begin to say

“Dr. Ramsey, please leave...”

***Ethans POV***

“what?” My voice softer. She wanted me to leave.

“Please leave my hand.” My eyes glance down at me holding her hand as I let it go quickly.

“Sorry.” I nod and leave.

The day drags on later Naveen in the office as we talk.

“What’s on your mind?” I look up.

“What?”

“Don’t give me that. When you sit like that with that face your thinking of something.”

“No I was just- he cuts me off

“Just..?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Do you think Samantha is acting a little odd? In the recent days?” He looks at me shocked. His eyes wide.

“What?” I look at him.

“Your thinking about Samantha? As in Dr. Valentine? Are you feeling ok son?”

“Well yeah why are you saying that for? And you know Samantha better and you talk to her more.”

“Son, let me tell you she may be fine but you are not. The great Dr. Ramsey spending his time thinking about another doctor...” he teases

“It’s...not like that!” I stood up to walk out as I hear Naveen call my name before I walk out.

“You keep telling yourself that. When it doesn’t work out you know what to do.” His patsy shoulder and leaves my office.

Night falls finishing the last of my paper work I gather my things to look at the time. 11:30pm. Just then something catches my eye. A small figure walking past the window.

“Samantha?” It was way past her shift. What was she still doing here?

My eyes followed her dragging her exhausted body down the stair case.

I end up outside before her in the parking lot in my car. She didn’t come out yet.

Just then I drive out the main entrance to see her.

“Samantha. What you still doing here? Your shift ended hours ago.”

“Yeah actually one of the patients I was handling was sick she’s better now but I had to stay behind.” I nod. As she says “Night Ethan.”

“Wait.” She turns back.

“What?”

“How are you going back?”

“Train.”

“This late at night. It’s better if I drop you off.”

“No really it’s fine.”

“Get in. Come on.” She hesitated and enters. We talk and laugh as she gets out she looks back once more.

“Thanks Ethan. Night.”

“Night Samantha.”

***Samanthas POV***

I head in and flop down on my bed. Sienna enters and jumps on the bed.

“Tell me all.” Sienna closes my bedroom door.

“What.” I sit up go to the bathroom and change into my pyjamas.

“Everything! Tell me!” I Unlocked the door making my way to my dressing table taking off my rings.

“There’s nothing to tell.” She looks at me as I sit on the bed.

“Liar.” She smirks

“Oh yeah?”

“I know he dropped you off.”

“Ok he did. How did you know?”

“Me and Elijah saw his car outside I saw you come out.” She smiles uncontrollably.

“There’s nothing going on between us anymore. He made it Clear.”

“Oh really?” She stands up making her way to a black button up on the floor.

“Isn’t this Dr. Ramsey’s shirt?” My eyes wide

“Oh that!” I exclaimed laughing nervously “nooooooo” I said nervously and quietly.

“It is!” She drops the shirt and comes to me “come on I know he likes you back.”

“Sienna.” I flop back down on the bed

“It’s true!” I bury my face in my pillow

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“Ok you can keep talking but 2 minutes I’m going to end up falling asleep ok. Night Si.”

She smiles and turns the light off “Night Sam.”

Both of them had so much to say so much to confess but their feelings are buried. With them they had so much to say out loud. Their feelings being expressed inside, never once outside.

Ethan lays in bed unable to sleep.

Shortly after Samantha finds herself awake.

Both unable to sleep with so much that they wanted to say...

Tags: @schnitzelbutterfingers

P.s. This is a shorter fic it’s only 2 parts I only end up writing when I have ideas. So I’m not on here as much 😂😂 but I do and I’m trying to use tumblr more. ♥️

[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

Days with you make me feel better part 4

Pairings: EthanXMc

Warnings: very few, just angst

Description for part 4:

Ethan has returned to Boston to see Samantha. Only to try and put things together. With the questions in his head he follows after Samantha as they talk. One of the longest talks. One of the hardest talks they’ve had.

***Ethans POV***

I reach my place flicking the light on. As I head to my bedroom on my bed a jumper was there with the unmistakable scent of a light floral perfume.

“Samantha.” I quietly breathed out.

Heading to Donahues to see Reggie i hoped to see Samantha as-well. I walk in say hey and look over at a table outside. Samantha’s friends sat there all of them...but her. Dejected I sit as Reggie looks over at me.

“You seem glum.”

“Nothing.”

“Really? I was starting to think you were looking for that doctor. The small one with blonde hair.”

Damn it. He knew. And I knew.

“Did she come yet?”

“No. She started to come less after a while. She used to come alone at times sit in the corner and write often sketch at times. We talked at times. She hasn’t been coming for the past week.”

Why? Was it me? Was it something else? Why did she used to come alone?

Just then my eyes catch a glimpse at the girl who sat at a table outside. Her friends cheering.

“About damn time!” Dr. Varma exclaimed.

“Don’t listen to her glad your feeling better.” Dr. Trinh hugged her.

Feeling better? Was she sick? Is she still sick? Is she ok? Did I cause her pain? My mind tormented me. Reggie glancing at me.

“Speak to her.”

“What?!”

“You heard me. I’ve seen you two give eyes at each other all of last year before you left...”

“What! No we weren’t- I shocked by this. How many more ppl saw us like that?

Just then I got up and went outside and my eyes glanced on her.

She wore a black off the shoulders jumper with a sliver locket. With regular jeans and black ankle boots which was had heels on them.

The jumper which clung off her and her hair. Her beeline honey blonde hair which grew out longer... Her smile and the green emerald eyes which Emits pure joy and soo much love.

But under all that I see something else...pain, tiredness... loneliness. Her face despite the smile has both physical and mental fatigue.

She had also lost a lot of weight from everywhere. Which was shocking as it was concerning. But despite those imperfections she looks soo...

“Beautiful...” came out as a whisper.

I Walk up to the table as she hesitantly looked up and then says “hello Dr. Ramsey.”

Just like that we went back to Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Valentine.

***Samanthas POV***

“Hello Dr. Ramsey.”

“Hello Dr. Valentine.” He meets us and walks away. But how did I end up here? After staying in my room.

Some time earlier:

I sat in my room dejected. I looked out the window. Sunlight. Sitting on the seat next to the window I take it in.

A knock on the door.

“Samantha we’re going to Donahues come if you want. We really want you there. All of us.”

I flopped down on my bed. Elijah’s words ringing through my ears. He wants me there. They want me there.

Did I want to be wallowing in pain for ever? Is this who I want to be?

No. Of course not. Who wants to be like that?

I’ve been this person before. Broken. Alone. I’ve promised myself never to slip back into that again. But here I am. I’ve slipped back. I wasn’t going to slip back more.

Getting dressed for the first time in ages I curl my hair. To boost my confidence. I put on make up to cover the weeks, the two months of insomnia. Looking over at the mirror.

“I can do this. I’m Samantha Valentine.”

I hesitated as I walked in reggie giving me a smile.

“Hey Samantha.” Smile so genuine.

“Hi Reggie all good?”

“Yeah great. What about you? You seemed to disappear for a while I didn’t scare you off now?”

“No, no it’s not that. I’m fine. I’m feeling just fine.” I smile. Bryce comes from behind.

“Hey.”

“Bryce! Hey.” We hug as we go back out back to my place of peace. We sat in silence as he broke it.

“You feeling better?”

“Yeah...I feel better. I’m getting there.”

“Good. I’m glad your feeling yourself again. Everyone’s missed you.”

“Really?” He looks at me pulls me in for a hug as we sat on the grass.

“Yeah of course we did. You make Jackie more tolerable.” We laugh.

“Shut up.” As he drove back we made our way outside. Everyone cheered.

“Welcome back Samantha!” Elijah yells

“You guys are going to get us kicked out of here by Reggie with all the noise.” I laughed.

After that my eyes glance at a figure at the regular spot. Ethan.

He comes up to us as we all take in his new look. The beard, the green Jacket.

After pleasantries and moving inside and after an eventful hour, Reggie does his last call as my friends leave area waiting for me.

“Samantha all ok?” Aurora asks

“Yeah, yeah you guys go I’ve dropped my locket on the ground I’ll be out in 5 minutes you guys go.”

“Are...you sure?” Sienna asks.

“Yeah sure go don’t wait.”

“Don’t be too late” Sienna hugs me as Jackie pulls her arm.

“Come on! She’s not a baby. And you si need to get out more come on!” Jackie teases.

“But- Sienna tried to protest

“She’s right you know si, you can put your inner mom away for one night ok.” I pat a hand on her shoulder as they hesitatingly left.

I look on the ground as Reggie says “all good Samantha?”

“Yeah. Yeah I’m just about to leave. I dropped my locket I’m just going to find it and I’ll be gone.”

“Sure thing. Take your time.” He smiles and goes by cleaning the place.

Found it! I get back up and bump my head on the table. “Ow!” I rub my head as Ethan looks back at me getting up.

“You ok?”

“Yep.” As I turn to leave he holds my wrist and says

“Rookie.” That word causing my heart to beat faster. I turn to face him.

“Yeah.”

“Join me? For a little while.” I nod.

He smiles “want anything?”

“No. It’s ok.” We head outside in the cold which pinches my skin. Sitting on the bench in front of the fire he watched me stare at the fire.

“You’re cold.”

“I’m fine.” He comes closer arm around me.

“It wasn’t a question.”

“Ok.” We sat in peaceful silence my head on his shoulder. Nothing but the sound of our Breathing.

Just then he broke the silence.

“Samantha can I ask what happened? You didn’t write or call and Reggie says you rarely used to come with your friends. At times you came alone.”

“Nothing happened. It was simple. You left. Made it clear that you didn’t want this.”

“I didn’t say that or mean that. I had to clear my head.”

“Yeah. So did I. You don’t see me running off again. Maybe because at this point it’s too predictable.”

“What do you mean predictable? What happened Samantha I want to know. You’ve changed. Look at you it’s clear you over work yourself.”

“I’m going. I don’t need to say anything. If anyone should explain anything it’s you.”

“Samantha wait-

“For what? The next time you get scared and run away?” I walk off don’t turn back.

***Ethans POV***

I sit processing what happened as Reggie says “go after her! She’s right you know. She need an explanation.” He pushes me to the door before I could protest.

Driving I didn’t know where to go. I think and remember what Samantha showed me at the end of her intern year.

“This is my place of peace. When I come here everything feels right. I know that life is crooked. With it it can ruin or bring joy.”

Heading to the cliff area a small figure sat on the grass looking over at the city.

“Samantha.” She doesn’t look I sit next to her.

“Tell me.” She lays a head on my shoulder as she involuntarily shivers.

“Honestly rookie.” I take off my jacket which was huge on her small frame.

“I don’t need it you know. I have a jumper on.” She smiles

“It’s not doing a good job keeping you warm. Anyways tell me. Now.”

Her head on my shoulder my arms around her. She was crying.

“Rookie.”

“Just. Let me explain.” She calms down after a couple of minutes and says

“October 5th 2009. The day my brother died. I was 17 he was 21. He got in a fight with my dad they argued I couldn’t stop him from leaving. His car crashed into a bridge. His breaks failed for some reason.”

I understood her better a layer of her being exposed. I knew her brother died she didn’t go in detail. She never did.

“I couldn’t believe it. He was my support system. More of a family than my dad could give. When I came to Edenbrook a part of me never believed he died. I knew he died but I could never say it. After the case i thought that...that for a second I... I saw him.”

“Oh Samantha.” I held her a little tighter.

“He wasn’t there. I started to come to terms that he died.” Her voice breaks in between tears “and then you left me. I just felt alone despite having people around me.”

“I’m sorry it’s my fault. I shouldn’t of left i should of been here for you...”

“Don’t Ethan. Don’t. It’s not your fault. I would keep my self busy at work. Or I would sit in my bedroom and think about what i did wrong. Naveen took me to Seattle to see his grave my dad was at a conference with my aunt in LA. So chances of seeing him was none. I even got some of his things Naveen gave me.”

“Are you ok?”

“I will be. Don’t worry. I’m just glad you came back you didn’t leave.”

“Of course rookie why would I leave? I have you here.”

They sat watching the city lights and the stars twinkle above them. In an embrace holding each other. Taking it a day at a time. They though of only then and then. Ethan and Samantha. Samantha and Ethan. At that moment they were just that... and nothing else.

Thank you soo much for reading this fic Days with you make me feel better. I’m glad you’ve read until now and supported me, given I take forever to write😂😂. But Really enjoyed writing this mini series. If there’s any suggestions do let me know in the comments I’ll do my best to make it happen. ♥️

Tags: @schnitzelbutterfingers

[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

Days with you make me feel better part 3...

Pairing: EthanXMc

Warning: Slightly angsty and sort of past trauma from the mc’s past. May mention blood and abuse.

Description for part 3:

Ethan is unhappy and keeps thinking about Samantha the days he spent without holding her. And being with her. He’s finally coming back home eagerly waiting to see Samantha. However, Samantha is almost over the past trauma of losing her brother she just has one thing she has to do. She has to let go of this painfully memory instead of burying it under. Will she be able to do so?

***Ethans POV***

I sit on my bed glancing over my phone looking at Samantha’s picture. Giving me peace at once. 1460 hours. Roughly 60days. Another tally in my book. The days without her...

“Damn it Samantha. Why do you draw me so close to you.” I look at my phone the last message she sent me.

Why hasn’t she messaged me yet? Or a call? Or a letter even. Just as that thought lingers someone comes in leaving a letter on the table.

The handwriting so familiar it’s a letter from Samantha. Taking it in my hand and sitting back on my bed I nervously open it.

Dear Ethan,

I know your probably thinking why am I writing a letter now. After all this time. Naveen uncle convinced me to. But here I am I just wanted to say Im not mad at you for leaving. I just wish you would of told me I would of happily left us and our relationship as boss and intern.

Regardless of why you left and if you’re not coming back I just want to say you’ve made me a great person and doctor. Those lessons and things you’ve taught me I’ll always remember them. Thank you Dr. Ramsey.

Dr. Valentine.

She valued what I taught her. The thing that hurt the most she seemed so defeated in this letter. Why? What happened to the Samantha Valentine who had fire in her words?

***Samanthas POV***

Locked. Alone. Lonely. I didn’t come out from my room. Today would be the day of record Samantha Valentine visited her brothers grave the first time in 10 years. I visited my moms grave too. I was lucky I didn’t see dad he was at a conference in LA with aunt Mina.

Naveen uncle handed me the 3 boxes of Jakes things which sat would sit at the back of my wardrobe. Right now it’s just there. My hand runs over the box as I open it some of his favourite things.

One box which had his books of his writing in there. I remember he would ask me to do the art for his work. Given I could draw and he couldn’t. His pen name engraved and full of ink. All of his sports gear... his jersey and softball mitt. The music he would listen to. I remember all the times he was there for me. Tears falling down.

“I miss you Jake...”

Before I knew it darkness began to fall I laid in bed some of Jakes things spread over my bed.

Sienna knocks on the door and enters. “Samantha? Are you ok?” I shake my head no. She sits on the bed looking at my tear stained face. As we put his things away carefully back into the boxes and talked.

“You miss him...” I look at her.

“Both of them, Jake and Dr. Ramsey. Don’t lie i saw him sneak out after we celebrated in Donahues when you won the hearing.”

“You’re right. I miss him soo much. I just...I just wish that Ethan didn’t leave.” She hugs me

“Yeah I know it’s hard sweetie...don’t worry I’m here whenever ok.” I couldn’t help but to smile at her cheerfulness.

“You know if it wasn’t for Jake I would of died long ago... he was my support system from day one and I’m glad he was.”

“Really?” She smiled

“Yeah. As a kid he would always pick on me we had loads of fun together our whole lives. But more importantly he protected me when I was beaten up by my dad and uncle, Jake wouldn’t be able to stop it but he would treat my wounds and make let me stay in his room when my dad would start smashing glass on the floor. I was so scared.” She listened and took in what I said as I poured my heart of deep wounds.

“My dad and Jake wouldn’t talk to each other because every time they fought. My dad would drink all night or Jake would walk out and drive to clear his mind. When I could walk he supported me loads but I remember when my dad stabbed me...I thought I was going to die. Jake left in anger and my dad walked out left me for dead. He was drunk but my uncle wasn’t he was just evil. He loved to see people in pain.”

“After Jake died I felt so hollow. Alone. Like I’d finally lost everything.”

“Right now I’m sure Jake is so proud of you...come on Bryce, Kyra and Raf is outside and I can’t deal with Jackie and Bryce arguing again...”

“Give me a minute?” She nods.

That night I came out of my room again in almost 2 months the last time I shared my place of peace and this time it’s just my friends.

It still hurts... the pain is still there. But one day it will disappear I know it.

***Ethans POV***

I pack my bags ready and head away. I’d finally spent all this time away. My feelings I have to control it for everyone.

I want to see Samantha and just ask if she’s ok. I may not be able to hold her in my arms but as long as she’s ok...

I’m coming back.

So this was interesting 👀. There is one more part to come I think. Wait and see if Samantha will forgive Ethan. Will Ethan know about the pain she’s grieving?

Tags: @schnitzelbutterfingers

[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

Part 2 of days with you make me feel better...

Pairing: EthanXMc (Samantha Valentine)

Warning: slightly on the angsty side

Description for part 2:

Ethan has come to the realisation that he cares too much about Samantha. He can’t be due to being her boss she could lose her job so he decided to move away to the Amazon and hide his feelings away. But when Samantha goes through something deeper... will Ethan be there to help her or will she deal with it alone?

P.s in my one Naveen Banerji is her parents friend when she was a kid. However overtime they lost contact after she left home at 18. They meet again during her intern year when Naveen is dying.

It had been 3 weeks since she’s seen Ethan... she would wake up at 6am every morning. Go to work like always work until late go home, eat and sleep. She was stuck in a cycle of repeating herself. She felt lost. She felt the pain and acceptance of losing her brother. It’s stupid she thought that her brother died almost ten years ago and now she’s finally knows and accepted it. Ethan was gone.

He left her she still remembered when Naveen announced it in the atrium Ethan had gone to the Amazon.

“Samantha, we’re going to Donahues want to come?” Jackie knocks on her bedroom door which was locked. There was no response. When Samantha found out her mom was dying she did the same thing she locked herself in her bedroom and became quiet...which was shocking for her friends when they saw this side to her for the girl who can talk for hours non stop about anything.

All of her friends tried to get her out of her room they tried everything. It didn’t work.

At Donahues

“What are going to do?” Elijah asks drinking his drink.

“It’s not healthy. She doesn’t sleep, she doesn’t eat she just sits in her room. She only comes out for work, even then she barely says two words at work.” Sienna sounded upset.

“Why? What happened?” Aurora asked. She had been with them for a while now and she fitted right in, despite not moving in the apartment yet.

“It’s her brother, he died like ten years ago but she had a hard time accepting he was gone. She’s hurting.”

“There must be something we can do.” Bryce asks.

“Unless one of us should just try and talk to her instead of all of going together.” Raf suggested.

“Yeah it’s a good idea. Whose going to go first?” Kyra raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll go first I don’t mind.” Bryce speaks up.

“Ok Bryce will talk to her and then bring her here, she’s going to enjoy herself.” Sienna says

“Ok but meathead don’t bore Samantha.” Jackie rolls her eyes as they all go home.

Once they reached the apartment Sienna calls out for Samantha.

“Samantha? Samantha sweetie it’s Sienna, did you eat dinner?” To her surprise the door unlocked as she enters to see Samantha by her window sitting on the ledge with her sketch book and pencil in her hand.

Sienna sits beside her as the rest of the roommates plus Aurora stand outside peering in trying to Listen.

“How are you?”

“I...I don’t know.” Samantha leans against the wall putting her sketch book down.

“Me and everyone else are going out tomorrow to Donahues. Come please.” Siennas eyes pleaded. Everyone outside had high hopes.

Samantha hesitated and thought for a second as she said “sure...ok.” Sienna saw her smile which she hadn’t seen in weeks.

***Samanthas POV***

Did I feel alone? Yes. Did I feel like I was stuck in a constant cycle of just breathing not living? Yes. Did I want to be alone? No.

I hold the locket tight in my hand and open it.

“Mom, Jake missing you guys loads...” the picture of mom and Jake...and dad.

I know my dad is alive and well... but I wasn’t ready to see him after the years of abuse... it wasn’t the right time.

The next morning I woke up and opened the door. Elijah and Jackie just staring at me with their coffee mugs in their hands.

“Morning Samantha...” Elijah spoke slightly surprised.

“...morning...” my voice came out small.

“Coffee?” Jackie asks as I nod yes and sit on the couch.

“Morning Jackie, Elijah...Samantha?” Sienna looks perplexed second and then says

“I’ll make breakfast...” they all talked I just listened it diverted my mind as Sienna got breakfast ready.

“Samantha are you not going to eat?”

“I’m not hungry...” I get up walking back into my room thinking maybe I shouldn’t of come out. Everyone’s acting weirdly.

“Please Samantha just a little bit.” I turn to face the three in the room and nod.

But all that’s going through my mind are two things Ethan and the loss of Jake. That maybe if I was fast enough...or didn’t end up arguing with Jake beforehand just maybe he could be alive.

I sit in my room until it was time to get dressed Jackie and Sienna barged in with dresses and shoes.

“Right Samantha get up we’re all getting ready let’s go!” Jackie exclaimed as we got dressed.

Sienna who wore a light blush coloured dress just above her knees with her hair out and wavy. A simple necklace which had a small crystal the same colour as her dress.

Jackie who had a dark blue dress laced in with silver. She refused to take her hair out but that’s our Jackie.

“Samantha what about you? You haven’t even tried on a dress.”

“She’s too small to fit into mine...” Jackie pointed out as they looked through and Jackie pulled out a red dress and Sienna a black one laced with gold.

“Samantha what about these?” My eyes set on the black one Ethan gifted it to me 2 weeks before he left.

“Right then the black one it is!” Sienna exclaimed excitedly as she curled my hair and got my black heels and we set out.

We sit inside at Donahues everyone there Raf, Kyra, Bryce and Aurora.

I even saw Zaid and Ines with some other residents.

And then my eyes followed the main spot the first spot I saw when I came into Donahues for the first time. But it was empty. The person who used to sit there was gone. Reggie waves and smiles at me as I gave a friendly smile back.

Over the weeks I would go out alone at times see Reggie we’d talk and I’d sit in the back get my sketch book out and draw.

I sit by the table with my friends they talk I’m there but my mind isn’t.

“Samantha want a drink?” Raf asks

“No...I’m ok thanks.” He nods smiling.

I felt suffocated sitting here as if I couldn’t breathe I shouldn’t of come. Everyone just asking me if I’m ok every 5 second and why I wasn’t here last week. My breath felt like it was being taken away like someone or something inhaled all of the oxygen.

My hands shaking in my lap.

“Samantha?” Kyra put a hand on my shoulder.

“I..I..I’ll be right back.” They watch me leave Reggie did to concern waving over his smile.

I run out the oxygen back into me as I sit down on the step outside raking my hands through my curly hair. I hear footsteps behind me and a figure sitting beside me.

“Hey? You good?” My head facing down I shake my head but a small “no” comes out breathless. He knew I was having a panic attack, he helped me and then asked

“Are you ok? What happened?” As if a dam had burst I stood up so did he as I spoke out mainly anger coming out with hints of pain which only grew as I finished speaking.

“Why does everyone ask me that every 5 second?! You want the truth then no! No I’m not ok! It’s my fault! Everything is my fault! My brother died because of me.” My voice break at the end with tears I sit back down on the step.

Bryce coming closer hand on my shoulder “no it’s not it was an accident ok. You didn’t do anything.”

“I...I c-could of st-stopped h-him from leaving.”

“How? You were injured weren’t you? How would you of ran after him with all those stitches? Trust me I’m a surgeon I know what I’m talking about.” He joked

I laughed for a second as he hugged me tight and close. After I calmed down for a bit he says

“Why did Ramsey leave?”

“What?” I let go looking at him.

“I know you know...”

“Yeah?”

“Obviously...”

“Ok then but not here. I want to take you somewhere, it’s my special place when Si, Elijah and Jackie told you guys I used to go out at town alone I’ll take you there it’s better.” He nods as his phone lit up.

“I’ll tell them we’re going somewhere quieter less noise yeah?” We nod as he gets into is car we sit as i directed him

“You know I could of just drove us there right? I’m an amazing driver and more safer than you.”

“What?!” He threw a fake face of offence as we laughed. “I would let you drive but do you legs even reach the pedals? And can you see over the wheel or do I need to get you a book for you to sit on?” He joked.

I slapped his shoulder lightly, “hey!”

After 10 minutes of driving we reached.

“We’re going to have to walk it like 10 minutes come on almost there.” We reach the top of the green hill the cities light shining bright and the stars which twinkled.

“What is this place?” He asked

“This is my place of peace. When things become hard or I need to wind down alone I come here...it reminds me that life is crooked.”

“What?” He asks smiling but slightly confused.

I turn him to the distance a sign of a building in red LED lights flashing “Life” written across but it was backwards the way we saw it.

“Life is crooked. Things go wrong, things go right. We find happiness and love sometimes it’s life long...and sometimes it’s a limited time. We only get a few glimpses of it before pain and darkness comes.” He looks at me as I look over at the city view and continue to say,

“I already knew that in life the people we love the most we always take them for granted. We think that we wont separate from one another but when life comes in it’s crooked ways it can. We make life long promises forgetting how short it really is. They say that you don’t miss someone’s company and them until they’re gone...you don’t realise what impact they’ve created until they’ve left you. There’s so many moments with our loved ones which remember for the rest of our lives...and maybe even after our life when we die.”

He looked over thinking about what I said.

“You said why did Ethan leave? I don’t know. There are few reasons but either could be wrong. He knows why he left and I’ll leave it at that.”

“Ok sure. And Samantha this place is beautiful I can see why you like it out here.”

“Don’t tell anyone about it can it just stay between us please.” He nods smiling.

“Sure.” We sit on ground sitting talking looking at stars I remember mom and Jake.

It’s like she said “the brightest stars that shine are those who you’ve lost but love.”

And she was right. We sit over talking my phone in my hand debating to call Ethan or not.

But now I wanted to enjoy my place of peace...

For Samantha still hurting her hurt Lessing when she shared with a friend at her place of peace.

P.s Thanks soo much for reading this part i was thinking of extending this fic as I have a few details I want to write in it might end up being 4 parts instead of 3.

Tags:

@schnitzelbutterfingers

[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

New fic!!!! I finally have motivation and fic ideas so here I am and please do follow me on insta @/ choices_4life for more cute and angsty fics I’m in insta way more than tumblr 💕💕💕.

Pairing: EthanXMc (Samantha Valentine)

Warnings: fluff and angst 💕

Parts: 1 of 3

Description of part 1:

This takes place slight after the first book before Ethan leaves for two months. They share a sweet moment as Ethan makes plans to leave...

***General POV***

Samantha had been over once or twice to Ethans. They talk and laugh they cook and He helps her when she has difficult cases... They revise and test each other on different medical cases. They were happy for a short time. They got to be happy.

She sat on the couch in her roommates place she sat with an oversized grey cross knitted jumper with her sliver locket around her neck. Her hair open which fell down past her shoulders. She sat reading a book with Sienna who also was reading the same book. They would love to talk hours about the books they read together and talk about it while baking it was one of Samantha’s favourite things to do.

***Samantha’s POV***

Rain pours as I sit on the couch Elijah playing video games with Bryce and Raf who were over. I close the reading book and put it on the table. Ethan the only thing that comes to my mind.

“Samantha...” Bryce calls my name breaking my trance of Ethan. Aurora came over sitting taking to Jackie and Kyra and Sienna.

“Yeah?” He puts the controller down.

“You seem distracted...are you ok?” She nods yes as he smiles at her picking the controller up again.

Her phone lit up and a message from Ethan

Want to come over to mines? Jenner really misses you...and the place seems quieter without you.

I smile at the message which Sienna and Kyra catch. They give each other a knowing look as Kyra coughs and gives Elijah a knowing look as he smirks in my direction as he exclaimed,

“No!” His face drops as he loses at the game Raf standing up and smiled.

“Yes!” I smile as I got up take the book and hug it to my chest.

“My aunt came back from LA from the doctors convention Amelia is over there I’m going to head there before aunt Mina gets busy with work again.”

“Ok do you want one of us to drop you off?” Sienna asks.

“No it’s ok.”

“I’ve had enough of video games...” Raf gets up as Jackie moves over to Elijah and Bryce.

“Move over Meathead I’m going to destroy you two!”

“We’ll see about that.” Elijah says as they laugh and play.

Should I of used my aunt and cousin sister as a lie? No. Would I do it again? Yes. It’s an easy way out.

I change my jumper into an oversized blush jumper and my jeans with my trainers. I end up at Ethans he opens the door.

“Jesus you really got drenched out there huh?” He lets me in taking in my dishevelled look.

***Ethans POV***

I let her in watch her shiver as I take in her damp hair and her drenched jumper with the droplets of rain which sat on her face like beads of clear crystal.

“You should change and take a shower or you’ll get sick.”

“I don’t have any of my clothes here.”

“Don’t worry you can borrow one of my jumpers...but rookie I’m going to want it back.” She smiles knowing that she has a habit of stealing my clothes.

***Samantha’s POV***

I take a shower as Ethan put my clothes in the dryer. I see the shirt Ethan left on his bed for me.

I walk out buttoning up the shirt I feel him looking at me. I walk next to him as he pulls me close to him his blue eyes which pierced though me. A barking breaks us from our trance as we step apart.

“Jenner!” I crouch down and played with the dog as Ethan smiles watching us play.

“I swear that dog loves you more that he does me.” I turn to face him

“That’s because I smile and don’t look like a grumpy old man all the time...”

“Hey!” He pulls me closer as I look at him before escaping and run. He follows me as I go to his room. Coming closer he holds my wrist when I move away. He teasingly kisses me.

“Ethan...” I move to the window of his room as he comes behind me his hand intertwined with mine as he held me. He turned me around to face him as pinned my wrist to the wall.

“Shh... don’t say anything.” His voice low and calm as he leans closer and we kiss.

———

***Ethans POV***

“Ethan?” She broke the silence. She laid in the bed her head against my chest.

“Yeah?”

“I know you’re worried...don’t worry.” She calmed down my tension.

***Samanthas POV***

I had a lot on my mind. Being with Ethan made it better it filled the hollowed place in me. Jake... I missed him so much. He’s my brother and I think I now understand he’s dead. One of the most hardest things. I wanted to get out all the pent up emotions but ...I couldn’t.

We spent the night holding each other.

***Ethans POV***

“Thanks Ethan...” we kiss as she put on her shoes with her dried clothes on.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to I drop you off?” She smiles.

“I’m sure! And if my roommates see you drop me off they’re going to get suspicious plus Si and Elijah are already suspicious of me.”

“Ok, ok but call me when you reach home ok, night.” She kisses me again as we part ways.

“Night Ethan.”

Night rolls around as my mind races. I couldn’t stay here with Samantha and her job. I couldn’t stay here and when I kissed her. I don’t know what to do. I couldn’t stay here and even when I-

***Samanthas POV***

I messaged him as he replies back. I go to sleep I don’t know what will happen when we get back to work. This might just end so I want to make the most of it...

P.s ok! This is part one there is another two parts to come I’ll post it soon I don’t know when. But do read it and comment what u think and re-blog I don’t mind 💕💕.

[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

Meet my Mc: Dr. Samantha Valentine

Book: Open heart

Face claim: Ana de Armas

Full name: Samantha Rani Valentine

Nicknames: Sam ( Her cousin sis, sometimes friends) Rookie (Ethan) Fahima (her mom side of family)

Age/ bday: 1st October 1992, 27 years old...

Love interest: Ethan Ramsey (no flings at all)

Hometown: Seattle,Washington

Education: University of Washington school of medicine

Occupation: Junior Fellow of diagnostic team/ Medical resident

Family: Stephan Jones Valentine(dad, deceased in book2) Saira Rani Valentine(mom, no more) Jake Ahmed Valentine (older brother, no more), Rumena Rani( aunt, mom little sister) Amelia Emma Willow (older cousin sister, Rumena only child) Joseph Jones Valentine (uncle, ex husband of Rumena, Stephan brother)

Family heritage: Her mom is Muslim, Bangladeshi. Her dad is a Christian. She recognises herself more with her Bangladeshi heritage she’s in touch with her aunts and uncles in Bangladesh. Shes proud and bilingual (She speaks English and Bangla). She doesn’t know her dad side of family a part from her uncle. She grew up celebrating everything Ramadan, Christmas, Eid and Easter. She often prays as it helps her stay calm and gives her hope at times...

Inheritance: Her dad was disowned after he married her mom... he made his own hospital and became a successful businessman. Her mom was a doctor as well. They lived a simple life they didn’t spend their money on things that they didn’t need and they lived in a regular house, most of their money was given to charity and her family in Bangladesh during the flooding. Jake and Samantha were disciplined and worked and earned their own money by doing work experience. People often misjudge Samantha thinking she had advances in life when she didn’t.

Past: Her mom died when she was 8 almost 9. She found out her mom had cancer she walked in on her mom coughing blood. She became quiet and stayed in her room for a week...After her mom died her dad became an alcoholic but he hid his issues he also had anger issues. She started to draw and do art. Samantha and Jake were often abused by their dad everyday mercilessly. Samantha was abused more but Jake would make sure she wouldn’t be hurt but it wouldn’t work all the time... Her drunk dad came in her room to hit her like he always does, he pushed her out of the window and kicked her desk out of her window... she had emergency operation which she had metal implantation in her lower legs and some in her lower spinal area... she was temporarily paralysed from her legs down... she lost 4 years of being happy in her life. Her brother was her big support system during this dark time. When she was 16 she recovered but she was still abused. Her dad and Jake would often argue to a point where Jake would leave for a couple of hours and come back just for Samantha to make sure she was ok. He didn’t move out even though he wanted to because he didn’t like leaving Samantha alone with her dad after her serious accident. Her brother died in a car accident when she was 17. A week after she was discharged from hospital after her dad stabbing her, she didn’t expect things to blow up her dad and brother stopped talking to each other a couple years ago but he left the house angry and hours later his dead body was found by a bridge in the ruins of the car... when she was 18 she left home and left her dad many letters explaining why and sayings she’s sorry... she moved to England for a couple years and then LA and back to Seattle far away from her dad. Her aunt invited her to Boston where she came at the start of her intern year.

Present: she has many faded marks from her dad and uncles years of abuse. She’s a claustrophobic due to being beaten and abused for years and she feels at times her dad would be there to hit her in her sleep when he isn’t. She sleeps with the door half open. She doesn’t let her past effect her present at all. She loves to joke around and have fun. Her friends often joke of her height and the fact she’s the youngest, they treat her like a kid.

Characteristics: she has four things that she does...When she’s happy she’s like a child...innocent, happy and you can’t help but to smile and join in with her joy. When she’s angry she ends up breaking into Bengali, when she’s sad or feels alone she draws she’s a good artist. When she’s confused she questions everything. However if she’s really upset she locks herself in her room and sits quietly thinks about it. She loves nature and can find beauty in anything. Her friends often come to her when they are in need of advice she’s good at giving advice... she can dance but she doesn’t have confidence to dance. She can’t sing at all to save her life. However she can cook, her aunt taught her how to cook... both English and traditional Bengali food. she loves to do art it helps express her. She loves to read and spend her free time outdoors she enjoys the peace and quiet...and she can be quite philosophical at times...

Random facts: she’s the youngest child but treated like the eldest she does have a lot of responsibilities. Family is everything for her... she loves to spend time with her friends. Her brother in law often makes fun of her height as a joke as she makes fun of his, him being too tall. She suffers from panic attacks and takes medication for it... Art is sort of her coping mechanism. Her friends think she has too much sass and she reacts too quickly. She won’t start a fight but if anyone says anything about her friends and family she will fight them.

Just a little thing I did because not everyone knows my mc or her background... Thanks for reading and showing support.💕💕

[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

P.s Hey sorry I haven’t been here as much exams have been in the way... and I took a small social media break... but I’m back and ready to write!

Paring: Ethanxmc (Samantha Valentine)

Warnings: fluff and angst and even more fluff.

New fic: I love you... no matter what.

Sun peered in the room as Ethan and Samantha slept... Ethan wakes up and looks over at Samantha sleeping peace on her face a rare thing he would see on her... peace. As he got ready Samantha awoke to the bed empty but still warm...

She pulled the Blanket over her small frame as Ethan walks in...

“Rookie wake up...” he inches closer pulling the blanket off her.

“Noooo, let me sleep...” she turns over as Ethan stands over the bed and says “if you don’t wake up then some water might just accidentally fall on you...it’s cold.” He picked up the glass of water slowly getting ready to pour it as She shoots up.

“I’m up! I’m up. Ok put the glass down Dr. Ramsey who hates letting me sleep.” She gets out of bed to get ready. He leans against their bedroom door as he watched her get ready. He watched her pull on her light pink gloss which made her lips seem natural in daylight... a rosy pink blush... and her silver locket which she kept with her... the light floral perfume which he loved.

“Ethan...are you just going to stand there? Or are you going to get ready for work?” She turns to face him.

“I can’t help it if my girlfriend looks so pretty all the time...” he comes behind her as she put on her earrings, and turns her they were face to face inches apart... he placed his both arms on the table blocking her way...

“Ethan...we’re getting late...” he leans closer and whispers

“So what...it’s worth being late to be with you...” she leans closer and ducks under his arm as she gets her heels.

“We can continue this later Dr. Ramsey... get your shirt out.” He looks through his closet and picks out a white shirt as Samantha takes it out of his hand.

“I don’t think so...all you wear is black and white shirts” she puts it back

“I like that shirt..” he looks at her looking through his shirts.

“Wear this one! It’s so good.”

“No.”

“What! Why?”

“It’s orange!”

“It’s a pale peachy colour just put it on.” He rolls his eyes “fine. The things i do for you rookie...”

Later they both head out driving Samantha looking out the window of the front passenger seat... her phone lit up... as she read a message on her phone. Her face filled with Pain and almost fear.

“What’s wrong?” He parked in the parking lot as they sat in silence.

“Nothing...it’s fine...” she opens the door and walks out. The ice cold air hitting her skin.

The day went by slowly for Samantha... she was scared and didn’t know what to do... where to go. Even when her friends were with her she wasn’t her usual happy self... she remained distant from everyone she cared about so they wouldn’t get hurt...

One person called the name gave her relief Em. Her older cousin sister who was with her through thick and thin all the way from childhood until now... Em was more than her cousin, she was like her sister to her and her aunt her mother...

She saw her aunt as her mother...her aunt was her moms little sister but ever since her mom passed away she could always confine with her.

“Hello...Em.” She heard her voice broken with tears.

“Sam, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” Voice full of concern as Samantha sat on the floor of the locker room her back against the lockers she cried... the tears she held back for hours...

“Shh, it’s ok tell me...”

“He’s back...He killed him...he killed Jake, he didn’t care...that your his daughter or im his niece and Jake is his nephew... his brothers son...”

“I know...I know but he’s not a part of our lives anymore and he can’t do anything... and if he holds a gun to my head saying that I shouldn’t support you...I won’t listen to him.”

“Em! Your crazy he’s dangerous. He won’t hesitate to kill people I care about...”

“I know it’s up to you...the rest. What do you want? Are you going to run away again?” She hangs up thinks.

The car ride home was quiet and sometimes those peaceful silences were beautiful... they valued it at times... once they reach home Samantha sat in her oversized fluffy grey jumper with Ethans shorts. He sat with her as he says “you’re very quiet today...what did you do?” He looks at her skeptically

“Me?nothing!” She exclaimed smiling making his heart burst.

“I spoke to Amelia” he looks up at her worry took over her face. Did Em really tell him everything?

“You did?” She stood up attempting to walk away from Ethan. He holds her stopping her from moving.

“Samantha please...talk to me.”

“I..I can’t.” Her eyes brim with tears as he holds her tight...he was afraid to let go of her just in case she broke...but she was already broken... she was tired... of everything of running away. After 30 minutes she calmed down he held her as she leaned on his chest they sat on their couch Jenner sitting on the floor taking in Samanthas sad demeanour.

“I don’t think I can stay here anymore...” his heart broke when he heard these words.

“What? Why?” He spoke softly.

“I love you too much...I can’t be the reason you die. I can’t be the reason anyone dies...”

“You won’t be the the reason anyone who cares about you dies...”

“I will...and I’m sorry, when I came here I didn’t mean to get close anyone...I wasn’t going to stay here for long but...I did I found a family amongst my friends.” He kisses her forehead.

“Don’t you ever say sorry for anything...I can give up anything for you and I’m not leaving and neither are you...If your uncle is mad at you giving the hospital to your aunt that’s his problem...”

After sitting and talking Samanthas head rested on Ethans lap they held each other... and after a while he came back to Samantha who fell asleep on the couch...

“I love you Samantha...so much... and no matter what I will still love you...” he puts a blanket over her. Knowing that they have each other, and they were going to be ok...

Thanks soo much for reading and the support 💕💕 I hope you liked it...

[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

Can’t wait for tmr but Elijah saying that we might wind up in different places has me emotional ngl 😭😭😭😭😭

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves, Elijah. Open Heart: Third Year launches tomorrow! 🏥 ❤️

[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

Open heart 3 in ONE WEEK I’m sooo excited 😜😜

That's one hell of a line up

[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

Ethan is just 😍😍😍 amazing and OH 3 coming out soon I can’t wait

Confession: Green jacket, bearded, no glasses Ethan is the superior Ethan, I don’t take criticisms.

[choices-ethanramsey-4life]

Alone:

She woke up panting and gasping for breath she looks at her clock it was 3am. As she sat up she couldn't help but to think that the dream that she hadn't had in 15 years would come back to her causing her to remember her childhood. Samantha sat with her shaky hands in her head trying to believe she was in a better place in life.

"I can't do this again, But why now?"she questioned puzzled. She falls back into deep sleep until she was awaken by Jackie "Samantha will u get up already ur going to be late"!!!! She slowly made her way down as Elijah and Sienna looked at her, it was obvious that she didn't sleep at all that night. They assumed it was Samantha being her fell asleep while working at night.

As she walk to the entrance Bryce caught up calling out for Samantha breathless "SAMANTHA, HELLOO SAMANTHA WAIT FOR MEEEEE!!!!,Sam..antha...wait...for me" she was lost in her mind she didn't hear him.

As Bryce caught up he tapped her shoulder making her jump " oh god Bryce you scared me", he exclaims  "I was calling for you for the past 3 minutes,are you ok" she replies " sorry I didnt hear u, I'm ok I had a late night" she gets lost back into that thought. He wanted to reassure himself and asked her "are u sure are you still pissed at me because I said favourite thing was my reflection?"

There was no reply she goes in and starts her shift with tension visible on her face.

This is my new and first fanfic called Alone part 1 of 7 I hope you enjoy it and show 💕