chroniclesofdeemoneybag

[chroniclesofdeemoneybag]

The Smiling Painting

Sailing through the sea of the mind

Thoughts of him, revoke my quiet card

The loneliness ..I’ll finally feel whole right?

People like us only exist when we’re not wanted 

The portrait of his gaze locked on me

Wide and beautiful till they became cold

His eyes searching for a place for him

Smiling as he found a blank canvas

His first painting was supposedly sublime

It was her first time being called beautiful 

How could she not love the eyes that saw her as beautiful 

How could she not drown in the false purity of his essence 

The desperation to draw out more from the painting 

The despair in solitary confinement 

You can only radiate what rests within you 

And I was more than willing to give him all of me

The slashes on the painting 

The handprints on her neck 

Madness dancing in his eyes

Betrayal coating his smile

His new work was divine

Absolute obedience with complete horror

A masterpiece of tragedy 

It was chaos and beauty intertwined 

Yet its hanging above the fireplace staring through me

Memories of his death come crashing in

Thoughts amiss as I pick up the quill

My body might be damaged and my face scarred

Yet I hope every word I’m writing heals me from you

-spaceman-

[chroniclesofdeemoneybag]

i think i’m healing— but it still feels strange to breathe.

i move through the days with lighter steps, carrying less of you than i used to.

but sometimes, when the air forgets to move, i remember what it felt like to be loved by you.

and for a moment, the weight returns— heavy as regret, a shadow passing through my chest.

but then i laugh, and it no longer tastes like guilt.

i’m finding pieces of myself i buried deep— parts of me you never let me keep.

i feel the light of the girl i used to be— the one who laughed too loud, was a bit too wild, a bit too free.

the one you never let me be.