chthonion

[chthonion]

I think you'd like to know: I am having SO MUCH FUN trying to picture what chapter 22 of The Harrowing looked like from Finrod's POV, it's the favorite thing my mind goes to chew on whenever i'm staring out the window in the hour-long bus ride to work and back! thank you so much for this!

This made me grin a lot. Honestly one of the MOST compelling Finrod POV options in the Harrowing, what a DAY he must have been having.

Here's a tiny piece of my own attempts to work it out:

The tea was Finrod's idea. Finrod knows, without Annatar ever explaining it, that Annatar thinks that it was Celebrimbor's idea, and that Finrod helped because he's Celebrimbor's friend. The tea was Finrod's idea, and he did not suggest it for Celebrimbor. He suggested it because Annatar looked so afraid, when he asked Finrod how to make tea, and so relieved, when he had gotten all the way through the process and had a cup of tea in his hands. He suggested it because Annatar went through that entire interaction expecting criticisms or jabs or at least irritation, tense and deferential and cramped, and Finrod is trying to make a point about the fact that it is okay to need to ask. He may have overestimated Annatar's capacity to read into actions that are not adversarial. "Yes, it is," Finrod says, trying to put as much certainty into his voice as he can. "Because we wanted to do something nice for you." Annatar gives Finrod a look as if Finrod has just stabbed him in the heart.

[chthonion]

Harrowing snippet while I edit

Me, editing a chapter of the Harrowing that is literally titled "Imperfections": idk it feels like it's getting there but surely that feeling is lying to me and I need to tweak it for seven thousand more years

Anyway, here's a snippet:

Annatar says, "Do you think that perfection is ever possible? Do you think that it was ever possible?" Celebrimbor is silent for a long time. "Before the Singing, maybe," he says at last. "But when you take an idea and turn it into a reality, you limit it, and when you limit it--I think perfection might be possible in theory but not in practice. And your existence does not have its roots in the Third Theme, my love, but mine does. The Children of Ilúvatar were sung in answer to discord and strife, and we have never existed without them." "You were dreamed of," Annatar murmurs. "Before ever the Song was Sung." "But were we dreamed of as perfect inhabitants of a perfect world," Celebrimbor says, "or were we dreamed of as people who strive and fail and try again?" To this, Annatar has no answer. He is from the mind of the One, but he is only a single thought; he does not know the whole. At last, Annatar says, "I do not know. But if to create a thing is to limit it and define it, then you have never existed except in conversation with discord and strife." "And so here we are," Celebrimbor says, "and here you are, as well, and I don't think it does any good to imagine that perfect world when it isn't the one we live in. I don't think it does any good to strive for perfection if it can only ever be an idea, and I think that trying to create a thing must always limit it, and perfection must surely be limitless. We can strive for better, and we should, but that is not the same thing."

[chthonion]

No inaccuracies detected

In two days, Maedhros…

Post chapter 50 @chthonion

Shout out to viv_hollande’s What If..? Fic for making me realize just how close Maedhros came to hitting Annatar again and just seeing everything shatter in front of him.

Colored panel below because I thought it was cute

[chthonion]

(opening the author’s works page after finishing a fic) and if im lucky they’ll have written this exact same fic but different a bunch more times

[chthonion]

They should invent a way to sit hunched over doing crafts that is Good for your body

[chthonion]

Aragorn & Arwen - by Raymond-de-Péreille

[chthonion]

Annatar has clearly been sitting on this lecture for A WHILE

...Elrond just as clearly has reverted to Neutral Face while he internally goes ????!!!!???

doodles from a couple of weeks ago which I just finished polishing a lil :D @chthonion

[chthonion]

Chapter 51 of the Harrowing is here!

Chapter 51 of the Harrowing is posted! In this one, Annatar has anxiety, Elrond comes to an unwelcome realization (which a lot of readers have been eagerly waiting for him to reach), and Frodo loses his patience.

Just a little, and just for a moment, but it's still pretty noteworthy, when it's Frodo.

[chthonion]

Eheh. Eheh. Eheh. >:D>:D>:D (process photos below if you're curious~)

And then we finally have the finished product, words and all~

I wanted to draw Maedhros being Scary~ so I did this. >:D

(and I haven't drawn a ton of stuff in full A4 size, so this was kinda testing that out. As well as using my .005 fine liner way more~ >:D)

[chthonion]

Actually I do have something to add which is that Maedhros knew all along that Annatar might try to manipulate him. Now he’s seen what it looks like when Annatar does—and what Annatar is inclined to accomplish with that power, which is, uh, not what he was expecting.

Hey @chthonion you have some explaining to do

There would never be a better time to strike at Maedhros than right now, with his heart broken open. There would never be a better time to get past his defenses than right now, after bringing back the only person who ever made him feel worth loving after Alqualondë, after Thangorodrim, after everything—

- The Harrowing, chapter 30, “Courage”

Maedhros raises his head, which is the only confirmation Annatar needs to know that he’s won. His gray-green eyes, half-obscured by the unkempt tangle of his hair, are a mess of tears and misery. He does not even try to pull his hand away; he only looks up, through a mask of pain, and in his eyes Annatar can see the grieving, self-effacing yearning that Sauron-the-torturer always used to aim for: the moment that a prisoner imagines the possibility of reprieve, and will suffer any degradation, submit to any agony, to reach it.

It is the expression of a person already in the process of shattering, and in this moment, Annatar knows, anything is possible, because this is the moment when nothing remains to prevent change from taking root.

- The Harrowing, Chapter 50, “The Hostage of Númenor”

[chthonion]

Explanation: 😈

Hey @chthonion you have some explaining to do

There would never be a better time to strike at Maedhros than right now, with his heart broken open. There would never be a better time to get past his defenses than right now, after bringing back the only person who ever made him feel worth loving after Alqualondë, after Thangorodrim, after everything—

- The Harrowing, chapter 30, “Courage”

Maedhros raises his head, which is the only confirmation Annatar needs to know that he’s won. His gray-green eyes, half-obscured by the unkempt tangle of his hair, are a mess of tears and misery. He does not even try to pull his hand away; he only looks up, through a mask of pain, and in his eyes Annatar can see the grieving, self-effacing yearning that Sauron-the-torturer always used to aim for: the moment that a prisoner imagines the possibility of reprieve, and will suffer any degradation, submit to any agony, to reach it.

It is the expression of a person already in the process of shattering, and in this moment, Annatar knows, anything is possible, because this is the moment when nothing remains to prevent change from taking root.

- The Harrowing, Chapter 50, “The Hostage of Númenor”

[chthonion]

the self-indulgent fanfiction will continue until morale improves

[chthonion]

IT'S HERE AND IT'S GLORIOUS

They are absolutely all my favorites but I have a special soft spot for the hug (because I was really hoping someone would draw it) and the vast facial expression journey that Maedhros is on (the RANGE is SO PERFECT) and Annatar's deer-in-the-headlights "please don't make me define friendship" face.

But also, just...all of them.

I have finished The Angst Version™~ (of chapter 50 of The Harrowing by @chthonion >:D) The bonus chapter added some stuff/re-inspired me, which is all to the good imo~ gotta get that Maximum Angst Factor AMMIRIGHT?? >:D (also. Mostly paraphrasing stuff just so you're aware~)

Then we got some of the conversation~ (without dialogue, 'cause a picture tells a thousand words~ >:D)

Then a sketch that was completely inspired by the bonus chapter-

It's not as 'polished' as the other ones, I just had thoughts about that tidbit and decided I absolutely had to mention it- so it got a drawing to match. :D

And finally, because I don't want to end this on too depressing a note-

:')

I'm not crying, you are.

My personal favourites include Extra Angry Maedhros + hands over the face Annatar, - then- actually. y'know what? I can't pick favourites. I like them all too much to do that. But that was the 'segment' that I experimented on - to try and convey the emotions through how chaotic/forceful the lines were, and it worked exactly how I wanted it to. Which is very satisfying.

>:D

(also, I don't think Maedhros was quite that visibly angry in the actual chapter, but it's supposed to be a mix of that plus Annatar's perception of him/what made Annatar panic. Make of that what you will. Eheh. Eheh. Eheh. >:D)

[chthonion]

Harrowing bonus chapter: Maedhros POV of chapter 50!

Calling all angst enjoyers! Want to watch Maedhros break in real time, but, like, from a more up close and personal perspective? Here's the Maedhros POV of chapter 50.

It's gonna be a while before I can get you the next chapter of the Harrowing, due to life events...but this one I can do, and I like it too much to hold it in reserve for later. HAVE FUN AND MIND THE CONTENT WARNINGS

[chthonion]

THE RELABELED TORTURE TOOLKIT I’M DYING

…I’ve GOT to get the Maedhros POV bonus chapter out. Just in case it gives you extra fuel for the angsty edition. 😈

Some doodles from Chapter 50 of The Harrowing by @chthonion :D

I've had this in my head for a while, but didn't really have the time to do it till now - consider this the 'Funny version' >:D Because this chapter was angst galore and I gotta do my duty as a fanartist-

>:D

*maniacal cackling~~

I also kind of had a mental image of Fingon and that picture war recruitment poster, but instead of 'Your country needs YOU' it'd be 'Maedhros needs YOU'

But I figured the page was crowded enough :D

[chthonion]

#remember when I said I was working on this a billion years ago

I DO IN FACT REMEMBER THAT AND I AM OVERJOYED

The yearning in the way the details are drawn, the juxtaposition, the sense of motion—this is all SO GOOD OH MY GOD

The contrast between dragonfire and the fire in the “laboratory”? The implications of the gardening implements? The image for “he yearned for a home he could live in again”? The cane leaning on the chair??? Every single image punches me in the face with emotions, which is the most appropriate possible feeling for this story and also a taste of my own medicine. THANK YOU SO MUCH

I could not stop thinking about @chthonion’s lovely Silmarilion fanfic, Lost & Found, so I made a comic about it. Your words really touched me and by that I mean they blasted a whole through my chest; but like in a good way though. Just... loving and grieving land and home. I hope my art does justice to the emotions of the text.

I posted this now it felt like a good rest in the prose, but I do have 3-ish more pages planned out. Though this took way too long so I might do it on my ipad. And now that I can prioritize this project hopefully it won't take another... 6 months. So be looking forward to that :D

[chthonion]

remember you'll die // remember to live || [prints]