ciderbird - Tumblr blog

[ciderbird]

It's the exotic nature of... her?!

*Catherine thinks for a second*

Oh well , the point still stands , why her?

She's so...so...unroyal and aristocratic , she's like what my mother described of me but it's actually true

They are plenty of fish in the see Sasha , I don't know how you like the more exotic ones

Well, I… I already married who you wanted me to, I figured I could have at least some freedom of decision-making in the afterlife

But, um..! If you don't want me to talk to her, I won't, of course. I love you, grandma.

[ciderbird]

Your majesty , we have an-...are those boo-

*Catherine immediately comes running in with a gleeful scream , runs over to Alexander and gives him a tight hug*

OH MY SWEET LITTLE BABY , Grandma's here , how have you been?

*she looks down at Alexander's breasts*

Oh , breasts now ?

Getting them for your grandmother I'm certain , anyway , I came down here because I heard you found another one of your little friends~

*He giggles holding a pair a scissors*

We won't a problem with HIM will we?

Oh. Oh grandma let me go please please I can't breathe-

It's so nice to see you again after all these years! I really… really-really missed you! Aha-ha..!

…

W-what do you mean 'another one of my little friends'..? What is this about??

[ciderbird]

It’s a common misconception, Napoleon was actually bisexual, he told me himself

NAPOLEON WAS HETEROSEXUAL

As much as we all wish that he had been part of the LGBT community somehow, it is to be an awful historian than to pretend that he ever had a relationship with a man.

There is literally ZERO proof proving such a thing - and I have done my research.

Sorry to break your dreams, lads

[ciderbird]

Stop✋️ using🤳 anti-self❌️🙋 language 🗣

[ciderbird]

Please stop telling me that I slay. He died of apoplexy. I had nothing to do with it I swear I had nothing to do with it I told them to keep him alive it was an accident it was an accident

[ciderbird]

DO YOU KNOW JEAN ANDOCHE JUNOT

I have heard about him. A friend of His Imperial Majesty is a friend of mine, I suppose... but, in all honesty, I would not touch that man with a ten foot pole.

[ciderbird]

Did someone say captioned adventures of Napoléon Bonaparte

[[thanks to ladyhistory for showing me the way]]

[ciderbird]

if you're an adult man with natural blonde hair that's a sign from nature to show that there's something deeply evil going on with you like the brightly colored frogs

[ciderbird]

Peace Treaty In Tilsit - Submitted by etsu-silly

#9E5773 #B57D97 #D4C3E9 #B4A8F0 #9270FF

[ciderbird]

idk the way you signaled an incoming artillery strike seemed like you were mad at me

[ciderbird]

Oh and here’s a story from when he tried to defend Caulaincourt (Duke of Vicence) before the new Bourbon government

alexander going to sleep every night at erfurt knowing the guy he spent the entire day chatting and laughing with is the same guy who said that about his father's death

[ciderbird]

quick sketches + quick messy coloring (apologies if theres language errors i’m half asleep💀)

bonus

[ciderbird]

Tilsit treaty trade offer

[ciderbird]

I made that meme like forever ago but it holds up

[ciderbird]

lmao Alexander had to chat and have dinners with people who directly MURDERED Paul almost daily. He had a lot of training in this department (but yeah he never forgave that note to Napoleon)

alexander going to sleep every night at erfurt knowing the guy he spent the entire day chatting and laughing with is the same guy who said that about his father's death

[ciderbird]

Bummer. Maybe he’s in the top 10 evil bisexuals then

EVIL homosexuals and then uhhh tenth place is an average Italian diplomat and statesmen whose nerdy obsession is ancient Rome and has hobbies such as gossiping to his friends

[ciderbird]

EVIL homosexuals and then uhhh tenth place is an average Italian diplomat and statesmen whose nerdy obsession is ancient Rome and has hobbies such as gossiping to his friends