cleanandsurgical

[cleanandsurgical]

PSA: The future of this blog

I know I've been lacking in every way possible. As posted on James, I've just been really, really down. I've decided to make this blog a Private/Semi-Private blog. I will be doing loads of unfollowing, keeping my dash nearly bare. There are a few people that I refuse to live without and they're probably the only reason I'm not deleting this blog (I'm looking at you, Mars, because I love you). 

I apologize for the inconvenience and I promise, it's nothing personal. I am not going this to spite anyone. I'm sorry. 

[cleanandsurgical]

   The turian's eyes narrowed, his mandible twitching as her lips pressed against his plating. She knew exactly what to say to get a snarky remark out of him. But Garrus refused to bite. 

          "That's too bad, Shepard. Especially since I heard that Vega bet a hundred credits that you'd shy away and stay hidden for the rest of the day after he sent those holos." 

Garrus wasn't sure if James had done such a thing, but it'd light a fire under Jane if she thought the lieutenant would win. 

"You would like that wouldn’t you?" The retort came with a smirk as she leaned forward lips just resting agains the plates of his face. "Not gonna happen, Vakarian."

Which was unfortunate.A day spent in bed, or hell even in the armory sounded much better then the routine plans of overlooking countless data schematics.  ”Don’t you have some work to attend to or are you going to continue slacking for the rest of the day?” There was a fire in her eyes as the teasing continued. 

[cleanandsurgical]

Wrapping his arms around her, Garrus let his chin rest on the top of her head, still thoroughly amused at Shepard's predicament. "Probably. You know Vega. Anything to get a laugh out of the crew." 

     Pulling back, brow plate perked up in curiosity, the turian lightly gripped Shepard's shoulders. "Hmm. I think that can be arranged. It's slow in the War Room and there haven't been any message. I've already checked with Traynor." 

It was the sound of horror mixed with defeat that came from the Commander next as she bowed her head forward as if hoping to bury herself away in the Turian’s shoulder. “Knowing him he probably drew some sort of…crudely humorous monogram.”  

It was a long while before she finally pulled her face away, probably from the lack of oxygen that came with being pressed into the clothed surface . “I’ll have to lock myself away in my cabin for the rest of the day.”

[cleanandsurgical]

Experimenting and any excuse to draw some nice buns!

[cleanandsurgical]

A mandible flicker and a mischievous glint in the crystalline optics forced Garrus to take a step back. "He might have sent them to everyone on the ship already. I can't account for his ability to reach the extrenet, but..." 

     The turian tried his best to hide the smile tugging on his lips, but it was no use. Shepard would undoubtedly catch it. 

 ”Well that explains things”, she responded with a small huff. A smile came to her lips at the simple gesture. The gentle moment was quickly lost as she came to a realization. “James found me?” Her tone was almost horror like. “….That means he probably has at least a dozen holos before he thought to come find you.”

The great James Vega now had blackmail against her and that was never a good thing.

[cleanandsurgical]

"You did. Jimmy found you and thought it best to come get me." She had been running herself ragged. Naturally this war would take its toll on everyone, but Shepard carried the brunt of the pressure, allowing no one to help her with the burden. As much as Garrus tried, she was stubborn as she was beautiful in the eyes of the turian. Moving from his spot by the door, Garrus extended a talon, tucking red strands of hair behind her ear to reveal a small bruise near her temple as he grazed it with a single digit. 

The redhead stared at the other, her lips forming into a firm line. “Now you’re just exaggerating things.” There was a slow pause as she assessed the situation. Maybe that’s why her head throbbed this morning. And here she thought it was just another migraine due in part to her Biotics. “…I didn’t hit my head on the console, did I?

[cleanandsurgical]

The gentle sensation of Shepard's hand against his coarse plating allowed him a long, slow breath, lids shielding his electric blue eyes for a moment. Relishing in her warmth and relaxation, Garrus desperately hoped that Shepard would genuinely take him up on the offer to rest--really rest. 

      "You know I'm here for you. And I worry. That can't be helped. It won't ever stop. Not for as long as we live." 

With a gentle hum, Shepard nuzzled her head against his, mind briefly wondering what this felt like with another human; it had been a long time since she’d been with one. The slight vibration of his speech coursed through her, relaxing her slightly.

"I… I know," she whispered, hand coming up to stroke his face gently. "I… I guess I just need a reminder, every once in a while."

[cleanandsurgical]

     "Obviously," he smirked. "How have you been? You look tired." 

"I fear you’ve to overcome this hurdle on your own."

[cleanandsurgical]

Glancing around, the turian's brow plate furrowed when Kasumi appeared. "Spirits! Must you always feel the need to do that when it's so quiet?" 

+ cleanandsurgical

[cleanandsurgical]

It was interesting and slightly amusing to see Shepard so uneasy. On the field, she was in her zone, the place where she felt completely in her element. No second guessing, no uncertainties. She lived for the thrill, the adrenaline pummeling through her. But when it came to things like this; emotions and vulnerability, Garrus felt her retreat into the deepest parts of herself. 

         The turian had kept her waiting far too long. 

   As Shepard spoke, hesitation on her tongue, Garrus brushed another strand from her eyes, a silent reassurance that she had nailed it, though he hadn't confirmed it just yet. 

                   "You'd be right." 

The Calm before the Paint Storm || Garrus (CleanAndSurgical)

     Shepard wasn’t completely obtuse. But to be frank, sometimes things just went right over her head. Garrus’ love interests tended to be one of those things… Then again… Just the way his visor locked on to her face. And, was that… a smile? Perhaps it was her lack of confidence in matters regarding attraction. After all, her face and eyes had a bit of a tendency to glow - and well, Shepard wasn’t the nicest of beings in the galaxy. So for someone as … well, as seemingly moral as Garrus to show any remote sense of interest in her, was hard to believe. That, and the clue about being human wasn’t all that helpful. There were plenty of female humans aboard the Normandy.

     But… - Well, why the hell shouldn’t it be her? It was his damn talons stroking the side of her face just moments ago. They had been playing at this little game of theirs for what felt like hours now. Time seemed to stand still around the turian. At first, it felt uncomfortable to feel so vulnerable around someone. Shepard knew better though; this was Garrus Vakarian: if anyone had her back, it would always and forever be him.

    She took a breath before answering him. Her glowing eyes stayed glued to the floor out of sheer nerves and embarrassment. “I… I am going to guess that she is sitting… Right next to you. But if by the off chance that I’m wrong - well, can’t say that I didn’t try, Vakarian…-” The words practically stammered out of her mouth. Pull yourself together, Akane - you saved the galaxy for Gods sake! That didn’t make her particularly perceptive on matters of the heart, however.

     An odd and anxious chuckle quietly left her lips. “Please… let it be me.”

[cleanandsurgical]

Garrus hadn't expected an immediate response. Shepard was a busy woman, always on the move, dishing out orders, making sure everything ran smoothly on the Normandy. A few days ago, the turian could have sworn that their lack of interaction was due to the fact that she had more things on her plate than she could handle and that he had everything under control down in the battery. 

          But then everything changed. 

   Now, he panicked, realizing that she was probably on his doorstep and there he was, daydreaming. 

The doors hissed open and the turian slowly turned to face the entrance, a shy smirk on his lips, making his mandibles twitch. 

                    "Shepard. It's been a while." 

    Smooth, Garrus. Really smooth. 

The Truth Hurts | Ella & Garrus

          They hadn’t actively avoided each other but for the last few days they also hadn’t sought out each others company as well like they would have usually. Before this… conversation… argument? Whatever it had been it had been.

          She had been angry for a few hours. Not actually at him, maybe a bit, because he had tried to tell her what to do, how to behave and… he had been right. She had been relentless, had risked too much and almost blown it. But on the other hand.. She still thought she’d had every right for that. Not the blowing part though.

          And then again there was this confession, the true origin of his worries, his anger. And that was what actually kept her from going down and behaving like nothing had ever happened. Because she couldn’t. He was her best friend, the one person she trusted most and would die for any day - if he’d let her that is. He was the person who had her back and who’d almost died under her hands. And also the one person she couldn’t imagine living without. Even for these few days until they would have calmed down again.

          They had to talk, had to figure that out. Find out where they stood and what they should to - be clear. Because if she would have to lose him, then she wanted to hear it from him and not just let it happen.

          Standing in the elevator she got his message and had to grin. Of course - they even decided to talk to each other at the same time. Fate.

[re] Was already on my way down. I’ll be there in half a minute. 

[cleanandsurgical]

"Shepard, that--that's not what I meant." Though he should have been more upset, her resilience constantly peeking through the cracks in her armor. 

Resting his head against hers, Garrus bit down on the inside of his mouth, mandible flickering again before he dared speak. "I only meant that you need rest, too. Just like everyone else. You're only human." 

She remained silent for some time in contemplation. He was right, especially now, physically and emotionally. Commander Shepard was a stubborn one though, especially when it came to putting her feelings and state of being after everyone else.

"You’re right," she admitted begrudgingly, burying her face in his chest. "And I’m sorry that’s the case. I’m your commander, this shouldn’t be a thing. I should be stronger."

[cleanandsurgical]

"I'd rather not venture into what I say to others who wander in and interrupt my work," he said jokingly. "Now, tell me what's on your mind." 

"Hey Garrus. Got a minute to chat?"

The turian smirks before turning around to face the commander, folding his arms followed by a nod. “For you? Of course.” 

[cleanandsurgical]

"Hmm. I never know whether or not you're being sarcastic, Shepard." 

+ cleanandsurgical

"You left the main battery of your own accord? Do I need to worry about your health, Vakarian?"

[cleanandsurgical]

"Well..." he gestured to himself, arms extended out to his sides. "I'm a turian." Garrus thought for a moment, still unsure if this child was being sincere or not. "Where are you from?"

Ellie shakes her head at him. “Nope. Never seen one in my life. What’s a turian, anyway?”

[cleanandsurgical]

[ he smiles softly, light mandible twitch before his brow plate dips in concern ]

     Is that sarcasm? Sometimes...your mood eludes me. I don't know whether to be concerned or simply file it away for later. 

               [ lifts his hand to brush a talon gracefully across freckled cheeks ]

"It’s nothing." 

[She’s insists, a faint laugh preceding her words.] 

"Merely enjoying the simple things. Or is that a crime I was unaware of?"