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[cljordan-imperium]

17

Inability to sleep leads to a sweet conversation..

Even with his solemn vow to the Primus Sator and Astaroth’s arms around her, sleep eluded Yara.  Every doubt and fear she ever had of being abandoned seemed to play out behind her eyelids when she closed them.  No matter how much she tried to put the woman at the bar out of her mind, when she started to drift off to sleep, she would see Astaroth embrace the other woman instead of walking away from her.  Her heart would clutch, her breathing would hitch, and she’d once again discover that as still as her husband was, he was not asleep.  His arms would tighten around her, and once more he would whisper reassurances to her that she could relax and that her mind was just playing tricks on her.  To have someone reassuring and caring for her was a foreign experience, and it only added to the weight of the guilt that seemed to press in on her from every direction

There was little Astararoth could do to quell all that weighed upon his wife’s mind, and if nothing else kept him awake, that did.  While it had not been his initial choice to marry her, nor would she have been his choice even the day before, he now understood the logic of the fates.  Few truly wanted to be close to him for who he was, it was rather what he could offer or do for them.  He was no less alone in creation than she was, even if the reasoning was different.  However, he had shown her who he was behind the mask and that was what she clung to, not all of the physicalities, the power, or the station in the universe.  For this reason, the owed debt to Lucifer had turned into a repayment that was more a gift to the two of them, than a punishment for perceived wrongs.

“Astaroth?” Yara finally softly said his name, sensing once more that he was not asleep.  Her fingers had been making slow and lazy circles on his chest for a while, thoughts turning over in her mind.  There was something about the feeling of his skin under her fingertips that was also addictive, causing her to desire the physical contact with him in ways she had previously not with others.

Astaroth’s larger hand covered hers, stilling it.  Maybe if she got out whatever was on her mind, they would both be able to rest.  “Hmm?”  His head tipped slightly to look over at her in the dim light. Even mostly enveloped in shadows, she was stunningly beautiful.  How she could not see even a glimmer of that befuddled him.

Her breath faltered as her nerves started to grow again.  Every time that Yara thought she had them under control, they would swell back up again to almost overwhelm her.  Sensing that her husband was now looking at her didn’t help.  She knew that he wasn’t judging her, but it still made her nervous.  “Thank you.”  Her voice was soft, so quiet it was barely more than a whisper against his skin. She was grateful that she did not have to be loud for him to hear her.

“For?”  His brows came together as he tried to figure out what she was thanking him for now. Astaroth wondered if there was something he had missed that she was referring to, since nothing had changed since they had retired to bed. Was she once more going to thank him for not abandoning her? Or again for not being angry about the nightclub? It made him a little uncomfortable how much she had done both.

“Everything.” Fingers separating to allow his to slide between hers, Yara gently held his hand as she answered.  “Just…everything.” A tear fell off of her cheek, landing on his chest. She still did not understand why she was so nervous and upset once more.  What was wrong with her?  He was holding her, his voice was soft and affectionate, and she knew that he would not judge her, yet her heart ached and burned.

Kissing her forehead softly, Astaroth felt his heart clutch at her words.  There was nothing that she needed to thank him for, and he had repeatedly tried to tell her that.  He hadn’t done anything that she didn’t deserve, nor that a true husband would not do.  There was little doubt that her life under Lucifer’s thumb had led her to not understand either of those facts, certainly not what to expect from a marriage to a god.  All he could do was hope one day she would see that he did genuinely care for her.  “Yara, you are my wife.  You owe me no thanks for anything.  You know that you are now stuck with me for the rest of eternity, so you may wish to hold that thanks until you fully know what you have gotten yourself into.”  His arm around her back tightened to hold her more firmly against him, and gently rub her side. Another kiss was placed against her forehead, his eyes closing as he held it in place a beat longer than normal.  She was stirring things in him, making him feel things, and he had no clue how to tell her that.

A light and breathy chuckle fell from her lips.  She had seen him with Lucifer and his priest, the fire and the fury that came with his anger, that she could handle.  He had held her when she cried, comforting her aching heart.  He might not love her, but it was the closest she’d ever come in her entire life, and it was a long one.   Even if he never did, she was falling in love with him, and she would never ask more than he was giving now; because what he had already given her was far beyond what she could have dreamed when the contract had appeared before her.  “I have a pretty good idea. I watched you stare down daddy, remember?”

“Darling, you don’t have the faintest clue.” Now it was he who laughed.  She really did not.  It had only been a few days that Yara had known him.  He might have let her see who he was under the surface, but she truly did not know what becoming his wife would entail her facing from others, not just from him.  While Lucifer and the priest had been hateful because of her, there would be those who would be just as nasty due to who he was as well. Not to mention those who would wish to cause her physical harm. 

It was his hope that he would be able to protect her from the worst of it.   He knew the mental and emotional scars she already bore from living as Lucifer’s daughter, he did not wish to add to that.  He would shield her as best he could, but inevitably she would feel the brunt of it all. When that happened, it was Astaroth’s supreme hope that she would not turn and blame him, but rather that they could unify against any mutual foes together.  The love he had for her already was starting to form, and the thought of her rejection of him caused an ache unlike any he had known.

Yara’s eyes rolled at his answer, thinking she knew what he was referring to.  They had argued when they had first met in his office, he had almost killed her father's priest for disrespecting her, they had stood side by side in Lucifer’s office, and when she had wanted to run from the club due to her own insecurities, he hadn’t allowed her to.  While Astaroth may not realize how much she was reading him, she was.  That didn’t mean the voices in her head, that had been created from many millennia of her father and her father’s men deriding her, would be gone overnight.

After a brief pause, she gave a short hum, then asked:  “Well, then, I have a favor to ask if I am entitled to certain things as your wife.”

[cljordan-imperium]

11

Colin leaned up against the wall of his office as the lab techs swept his office.  They had arrived shortly after the others had left.  The techs were meticulous, he would give them that.  They were picking through every square inch of the office he spent the greater part of his life in.  It made him reflect on that life and the choices he had made that brought him to the present.  The drive within him that had caused him to chase Constantin to the point that both of them were staring insanity dead in the eyes, and wondering who would blink first.

As the techs seemed to work without sound, Colin could hear the wind outside of the windows.  It was cold, it was hard, and it didn’t care who got in its way.  It would push and it would blow, unyielding in its drive to reach the final destination of its journey.  Much like when Colin was pursuing a conviction, everything but the end goal faded away.  He had become a force of nature himself, but now he wondered if that force of nature he had become had finally met its match.

Finally, unable to take the feeling of being paralyzed to do anything to help the situation, Colin decided to return to his house and try to get some work done there.  Even if he was unable to, at least he would not have people walking by to gawk, and see if they could get information for the latest gossip exchange on a smoke break.  Being the next exhibit in the zoo was not a life he wanted.  

Leaving word with his secretary to forward all calls to his cell, he called a car, packed up his laptop, and headed down to the front of the building.  There was a heaviness to the building that seemed to lift off of him as soon as he exited the front doors.  The anchor that had been dragging behind him since he’d found the box was removed and his steps increased in speed.  While concentrating with guilt weighing on him like a lodestone as he circled around all of the details of the case would be difficult, it would be easier away from the site of the most recent event.  Trying to focus in the main building was going to be an effort in futility, he was sure.

Things weren’t much better at his house, it was just a change of scenery and fewer people.  The walls seemed to be closing in on him.  This is what he got for always living alone.  He’d been so focused on his career that he had never really taken time to make many connections outside of work.  When he went out to dinner, it was with associates in his office or with members of some organization he was a member of.  The most socialization he did was to go for a celebratory drink with some of the cops at Mulligan’s after winning a case.  That’s where he’d first met Karsten, who was probably the closest thing he had to a real friend after Demitri.  

There had been one who had gotten under his skin, but he’d let her slip away when she had to go home to NYC when her assignment as part of a joint task force with the DEA and Marshal's service came to an end. He missed her and felt like an idiot for not doing more to keep in contact or go visit.  Once again, his personal life had taken a back seat to his job.  He’d been so focused on bringing down Constantin Rakeovich that he’d let everything in life slide.  Most he didn’t care about, but she was something else.  

*****

It had been a while since Aoife returned to New York from Chicago.  Before she’d left, Colin had said he wanted to make things work between them.  All he’d done since was prove why lawyers could never be trusted, even prosecutors.  They’d talked on the phone a few times, exchanged texts and even face timed a couple of times.  However, even when he’d had off for Christmas and New Year’s he hadn’t shown up like promised.  His Christmas gift still sat wrapped on the entry table of her apartment.  It made her feel like a fool every time she looked at it, but reminded her why she was keeping distant.  She’d really stopped trying to reach out to him a couple weeks ago, if he wanted to connect then he’d need to step up.  She was no one’s fool and at no one’s beck and call.

Ever since she’d returned the guys at the precinct had known something was up.  No matter how hard she tried to hide a broken heart behind excuses of jet lag and then frustrations over her cases in the city, she knew she was failing.  This is why she stayed closed off, whenever she felt something, it was deeply.  Things with Colin were no different, and the fact it was now affecting her work bothered her.

After she’d stopped being the one to initiate contact, there had been random texts and a couple calls.  She was starting to try and heal from the heartbreak and disappointment.  So when the phone rang and it was Colin, her initial instinct had been to reject it and ignore.  Unfortunately matters of the heart weren’t as black and white as the law, and she caved right before it headed to voicemail on its own.

“Flanagan.”  The word was said clipped and her tone left no doubt that this wasn’t the most friendly greeting.  A flip of her head took her bangs out of her eyes as she blew out a breath as he answered.  Colin wasn’t a man to say please, so she did wonder what he had to say, but she was still pissed at him.  “I haven’t hung up yet, Colin.  What have you got to say that’s so important you call me in the middle of the day?”  She would listen, to a point.  After that point, she’d just let him talk to dead air.

*****

Colin had been pacing in his house, but now he leaned up against the counter in his kitchen with his back facing it.  A hand ran through his hair, sending it in all directions, before scrubbing across his face.  He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but her abruptness didn’t help him feel any better or more relaxed in talking to her.  It was like when he highlighted witness testimony to point something out, it just brought more attention to his failings and missteps.  

How many times had he been behind the eight-ball just like this in the courtroom and been able to talk himself out of it?  He’d honestly lost count, but he was about to see if he was able to do it again.  The stakes were high, but that didn’t frighten him.  What frightened him?  Losing.

As he listened to the ringing after he’d dialed her number, he was pretty sure that he was going to get sent to voicemail.  Not that he would blame her, but he still had hope she’d listen to him at some point.  So, when she answered he took a deep breath and prepared to win this just like he did every time that he walked into the courtroom.   If he didn’t win, it wouldn’t be his first defeat, but it would sting more than any other.  “Aoife, please don’t hang up.  I know I’m a jackass and you can rip me a new one for being a major one.  Just please don’t hang up, I need to talk to you. Will you listen?”

“Aoife,  I’m not going to try to make excuses for my failings.  I own them and I know what they are.  I’ll even list them if that would make you feel better to know I am fully aware of what a thoughtless asshole I can be.”  He took a breath and looked at the floor.  Unlike in a courtroom, he wasn’t as polished at what to say when it came to his personal life.  Things weren’t as cut and dry.  The outcome was based on far more than a yes/no decision.  “I had something happen that has started to put things in perspective for me.  I’ve had tunnel vision for too long and I’ve let things slide, things I shouldn’t have.  I was so honed in on one thing, it became my world and life.”

He didn’t want to make excuses, and what he was saying wasn’t one.  Colin still wanted Aoife to understand that he knew what he’d done though.  He could only hope she’d forgive him.  So far she hadn’t said anything so he was hoping she was still listening.  “I wanted things to work between us, Aoife, and I know I screwed that up by being an oblivious fool.  I’ve not done my part at all.   I’ve just had everything put in a crystal clear perspective and if there is any way to salvage what was between us, I’m hoping that you can find enough faith to let me prove what I’m saying.  I want us to work.”  He closed his eyes and sighed.  He didn’t deserve any kind of redemption, but Colin hoped that she’d give him a shot.

*****

Something was off, she could tell that.  What Aoife couldn’t tell was what.  This wasn’t the Colin Masterson that had seemed so in command of everything in Chicago.  No, this sounded more like a man broken.  She was a bit surprised; she didn’t think anything or anyone could break Colin.  Still, she wasn’t ready to trust him just yet.

“Are you having problems getting your social calendar full, Colin?  As I remember there were several females interested in filling it and your bed.  Or are they not enough?”  Her feet came down off of her desk where she’d had them propped with ankles crossed.  Now her feet were flat on the floor as she leaned over her desk.  “Or maybe, just maybe, it’s that the great Colin Masterson can’t let a woman walk away from him.  Is that it? You have to be the one to leave, well you already did that.”  The bitterness in her own voice surprised her.  It had been a long time since she’d trusted anyone and what was going on right now was exactly why.

*****

Her words stung, but then Colin figured they were probably meant to.  He’d earned every single one of them, and the insinuation that they carried.    There was little doubt that her next words were probably going to be telling him to kiss her ass and then hanging up.  He’d earned that too.

“I deserve that, and more, Aoife.  You’re light years away from the truth though.   Do you remember the case I was starting when you left against Constantin Rakeovich?”  He waited till he heard her make some kind of acknowledgment before continuing.  “We filed an indictment a week ago.  The next day the intern assigned to me disappeared.  He’s mailing her back to me in pieces.  Today I got her eye.”  Revulsion hit him again at the thought of it and he had to pause to keep from vomiting, again.  The thought of that poor girl made it hard for him to concentrate on much else, but he needed to if he was going to convince her he was serious.  “I don’t care if my bed’s empty, Aoife.  I don’t want my life to be, and it has been.  The only time it didn’t feel that way was with you.”  

*****

Listening to him, she wanted to accuse him of lying.  She worked in NYC, she knew that there were some sick and twisted individuals out there, but for someone to take a DA head-on like that, that was something new.  Colin’s voice and his cadence in speaking told her that he wasn’t lying though.  He was troubled and feeling off-balance, then again who wouldn’t be to be sent another person’s eye?  

Her voice lowered and softened before Aoife continued, “Colin, I can’t trust you.  I’m sorry.  I can tell you’re going through hell, but that doesn’t change what happened when you weren’t.”  Her fingers combed through her hair.  Despite her words, she wanted to trust him.  She wanted to believe that he meant what he said and that it would be different.  The past had made her a bit too jaded for that though.

*****

“I’m not asking you to trust me, Aoife. I’m asking you to give me a chance to prove it.  If I don’t then you can rip me apart for it.  Yell, scream, throw things at me, whatever will make you feel better.  I don’t intend on letting that happen though, this is something I want; and you do know what happens when I really want something.  I get it.”  He sounded a little firmer this time, more in control than before.  Colin didn’t feel it, but for once his powers of self-control were paying off.

[cljordan-imperium]

Jasper would probably be filling her in on everything. Getting him to shut up is a task! 🤣😂 He's also a Grigori, a demonic one. He’s...complicated.

Me and my astute editor, Clawdette, have been working since I got home on some revisions. Posting resumes tomorrow on your favorite stories.

[cljordan-imperium]

The gator wasn't just a gator. Nothing around Anna is ever what it appears at face value. As a ruling member of the Triad, she has a responsibility to keep both the supernatural world and humanity safe. Anna is no longer human, hasn't been for 289 years, so.... She regularly uses her Garden District Mansion, French Quarter apartment, and countryside Plantation (for the record she never owned slaves, she hired black and indigenous supernatural beings to help them keep from being slaves) as safe houses for supernatural beings being hunted, that have been injured, or otherwise need protection.

Me and my astute editor, Clawdette, have been working since I got home on some revisions. Posting resumes tomorrow on your favorite stories.

[cljordan-imperium]

This is for my fellow survivors who feel their heart break a little every time they see a parent treating their child with love, or having fun with them whether this is in real life or even from a movie/show.

It’s okay to be sad about it. It’s okay to even feel jealous. It doesn’t make you a bad person. You should have been treated with the same compassion and love. And you deserved so much more and so much better.

[cljordan-imperium]

Yara & Astaroth end up with some "pets" later in their story. 🤣😂🤣🐧

Remember that Yara is half Egyptian and their gods have animal heads...technically, they're related. 🤣😂 Thoth is involved.

Me and my astute editor, Clawdette, have been working since I got home on some revisions. Posting resumes tomorrow on your favorite stories.

[cljordan-imperium]

They must like her, and she must have given them sufficient fish offerings. They are benevolent gods. They just are picky about being touched. Baby gods do love scratches and cuddles, though. It's how they enchant humans. Anna had one living in her swimming pool for 2 years once. Long story...it and the gator were buddies...longer story.

Me and my astute editor, Clawdette, have been working since I got home on some revisions. Posting resumes tomorrow on your favorite stories.

[cljordan-imperium]

🤣😂🤣 They are going to be in @devil-in-the-details-ay

They are gods of chaos and order. If you've ever watched penguins at the zoo, you can see how I came up with that...They are soooo both. They make sure that the forces of chaos and order are kept in balance in the world, and have charmed humans to proliferate them around the world to help their mission. When they get out of balance, the penguins start bestowing more power on the side that is out of balance to try to bring the world back into balance. This can often lead to local conflicts as the side that had gained the upper hand tried to keep it. They also often try to kill the penguin gods because they are small. The gods of nature do not take kindly to this...bears will be bears, big cats will be big cats, and humans are tasty.

Me and my astute editor, Clawdette, have been working since I got home on some revisions. Posting resumes tomorrow on your favorite stories.

[cljordan-imperium]

That's the thing, most are heavily cloaked because of all the magical beings in NOLA. That's why the Grigori Triad is headquartered there. It is the focal point of a serious magical presence. Second is Luxor, then Rome, then Athens, then Salsbury Plain, then Tonina, then...Antarctica where the Penguin gods live. DO NOT TOUCH THE PENGUIN GODS.

Me and my astute editor, Clawdette, have been working since I got home on some revisions. Posting resumes tomorrow on your favorite stories.

[cljordan-imperium]

You recently moved to the countryside. Your child was playing in the woods, and came back with a large green egg you thought was plastic, so you agreed they could keep it if no one claimed it. Your kid said it was a gift. You thought nothing of it. Then the egg hatched.

[cljordan-imperium]

if I forgot your favorite subgenre or misclassified a band feel free to argue in the replies 👍

[cljordan-imperium]

At least Abriella can bring her back? Wouldn't be the first time she's had to resurrect someone for touching something.

The others would make sure she's safe. They might assign her a pixie.

Creatures in Imperium aren't always friendly either.

Me and my astute editor, Clawdette, have been working since I got home on some revisions. Posting resumes tomorrow on your favorite stories.

[cljordan-imperium]

[cljordan-imperium]

😳😮😬😱

She will definitely need the others around. Doing that in NOLA is dangerous. Most animals are not what they seem, and most cloak themselves well. They come to NOLA for a reason.

Anna and Jasper are powerful Grigori, as are Jean Pierre and Armaund, which means they see through EVERYTHING.

Me and my astute editor, Clawdette, have been working since I got home on some revisions. Posting resumes tomorrow on your favorite stories.

[cljordan-imperium]

If you want to talk a bath alone, do not get a cat.

[cljordan-imperium]

Sorry for being such a slow writer, it's because I [remembers that self-deprecating jokes are harmful to my mental health and make everyone else uncomfortable] was attacked by dark spirits and washed up on the shore of a mysterious island with no recollection of who I was

[cljordan-imperium]

Congratulations! You are now a Magic-User!!