clockworklayton - Tumblr blog

[clockworklayton]

Do you have a pet? If yes, you can help me!

It's my brother Joel's 21st birthday this weekend (25th August) and he likes animals, so I would like to surprise him with birthday wishes from a bunch of random internet pets!

If you'd like to help, please send a photo of your pet(s) (you can be in it too if you like) with some sort of birthday message in the picture (it can just be "happy birthday" whatever you want) to my messages or reblog this post with the picture!

For more info on my brother, he really likes programming (just got a new job as a programmer!) and gaming (Overwatch- Zenyatta main, Skyrim, Pokémon)

I don't mind about photo quality, detail, whether I know you or anything, I just want a nice and fun surprise so he can celebrate his birthday with lots of people animals from around the world :D

[clockworklayton]

shork time

shork 

[clockworklayton]

@setheverman

[clockworklayton]

my wedding dj: the groom and groom will now have their first interpretive dance to under construction from the sims 1 soundtrack

[clockworklayton]

what if mayonnaise came in cans

[clockworklayton]

30 day free trial of being ok

[clockworklayton]

https://instagram.com/p/BjNePqtgSFS/

[clockworklayton]

this covers the hole but it’s really obstructive and ruins the aesthetic of the bowl I’m considering making a decoy bowl now

[clockworklayton]

everyone please look at these low quality photos of my cat

[clockworklayton]

Do you think the monsters from Monsters Inc have had to start using internet memes to make kids laugh

[clockworklayton]

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

[clockworklayton]

“Not use collective punishment as it is not fair on the many people who did nothing and under the 1949 Geneva Conventions it is a war crime.”

[clockworklayton]

a reminder:

[clockworklayton]

So I did an egg hunt at my place of work this morning. I don’t mean like I hid a couple dozen eggs and people rolled their eyes like “hey isn’t this a bit childish?”

I mean I got an entire staff of some 30 surgery, kennel, vet techs and receptionists to go absolutely wild running around our facility looking for 200+ colorful plastic eggs full of chocolate and sour patch bunnies and one golden egg with $10 in it

Like one person riding on another person’s shoulders to look on top of the high stacked kennels and using leashes as lassos

There was screaming and wild giggling and I’ve never seen so many grown ass women grinning and running around like kids in my life it was the greatest.

Apparently I am now the morale officer of my workplace but my boss (who somehow wound up covered in glitter at the end of the day despite literally none of the eggs having glitter on them) now knows me as

The Harbinger of Chaos

[clockworklayton]

STEP 1) GET THAT $$ STEP 2) SPEND THAT $$  STEP 3) OWN 2 MUCH STUFF STEP 4) PUT IT IN A PILE STEP 5) RELAX

[clockworklayton]

STOP USING FAT PEOPLE AS A REASON TO BE “DISGUSTED” WITH AMERICA

[clockworklayton]

sea anemone designed to sting, ensnare, and digest unsuspecting fish: *exists*

clownfish: