cloudyf0x

[cloudyf0x]

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I fell asleep in my friends' arms. It was eleven at night, we were tired, curled up in a small pile on my tiny bed. I had my head buried in my roommate's side, and one of my closest friend's hand on my shoulder, steadying me. It was quiet and nothingness and peace and their heartbeats in my ears, my hands in their hair.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

We pack four people to that little bed, you know. Laps used as footrests, collarbones as pillows, little lights like moonlight in rustic yellow bathed on their faces. The TV plays an anime. The words are repeated by my dear friend on my shoulder, curled close. My legs are asleep; my roommate may be, too.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

The cat curls on top of our criss cross mess of legs and arms and heads on chests to absorb the warmth of us all. She purrs in contented peace. When my roommate and I are left alone in the quiet, she cries, and watches the door for our friends' return.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I will never kiss them but the top of their heads. I will never touch but the warmth of their arms. I will never take more than what's freely given, and in return I put my glasses on the bedside table fashioned from a guitar amp, and when I lean into their sides, I pick up my vulnerability and place it in their capable, tender hands.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I sing for them. I cry for them. I work and I run and I withstand the worst of the world for them, because some days I get to cradle their forehead on my shoulder and some days I get to see their shining eyes.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Maybe to you. But look beyond explanation. I love them. With my heart in my unsteady hands, with my nose pressed to the side of their head, with the buzzing in my feet and the warmth all around Iike the sunset pushing into the window.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Is it enough to say I love them? With no strings attached? With reckless abandon and utter devotion and freedom and kindness and fear?

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I cannot explain it any clearer. I love my friends. There is no more to say.

[cloudyf0x]

if your weird enough with the homies you can break all boundaries of platonic/romantic love and make a third, more evil thing

[cloudyf0x]

starts punching and tearing at everything in a blind rage. i want AROMANTIC characters i want characters with not an OUNCE of romance about them i don't JUST want aroace characters i want AROMANTIC characters that AREN'T ASEXUAL i want people to headcanon characters as AROMANTIC not just aroace i want fandom to treat AROMANTICISM as AROMANTICISM, and not a SUBCATEGORY OF ASEXUALITY. RRRAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH

[ID: banner reading "don't tag as ace or aroace"]

[cloudyf0x]

how do i phrase this. i want to like him. i really really do! he's sweet and funny and pretty, by all logic i should be excited, and i am, but not for the right reasons. i am excited because of what he can do for me, what experiences i can have with him, not because of who he is. and that feels dirty. i feel dirty because i want our relationship to progress, but not because its him, you know? i am touch starved and pent up and i love the idea of being loved, but those reasons aren't the right ones to pursue a human being. unless he's okay with me being aro, but even then i would feel as if i am depriving him of real love, of a real relationship- which he absolutely deserves. this happens again and again, (with very rare exceptions) and every time the guilt is crushing. i want it so bad, but the guilt of wanting is overwhelming, let alone the guilt of not being able to provide a deserving person with my affection/love/commitment. the bottom line is i suppose sexual and romantic attraction are separate for me, (the latter of which i rarely feel at all, and even then i don't think it's like what allos feel) while in the vast majority of other people they are very much connected and influenced by each other. how am i supposed to explain this to him?

[cloudyf0x]

older gentleman just gave me a lecture on how when I decide it’s time to find a wife I need to buy myself a pair of loud colorful socks and sit around with my legs crossed to show my ankles and women will flock to me

[cloudyf0x]

[cloudyf0x]

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith | 2005 Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part VI | 2022 Star Wars: A New Hope | 1977

[cloudyf0x]

guys i’m going to be so real for a sec i don’t even like the hobbit movies but im so obsessed with the amount of cunt that lee pace is able to serve with 20 minutes of screen time

[cloudyf0x]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

[cloudyf0x]

Art challenge where you have to finish what you're making

[cloudyf0x]

Anybody else got like,, rlly random connections to famous ppl?? Like my older brothers were friends w Jennifer Lawrence when they were like 12 and I just found out I’m friends w the cousin of the girl who voiced honey lemon in big hero six like, idk what I’m supposed to do with either of these tid bits I feel like I was supposed to live my life in ignorance of them

[cloudyf0x]

Shout out to that guy from Florida talking to my coworker about wanting to take his sail boat through Lake Superior in November. He was planning on a little trip and my coworker was like hey man I don't know how to tell you this but you will Actually Die

*Lake Superior, in the far distance*: yes yes yes yes yes do it yes yes

[cloudyf0x]

[cloudyf0x]

occasionally I am struck dumb by the sublime beauty of the world in the small moments, you know?

egg

[cloudyf0x]

Did you know that hogs enter a state called "soil hibernation" during the hottest summer months? When temperatures exceed 95°F for more than a week, wild hogs will dig shallow depressions in moist soil and enter a semi-dormant state where their heart rate drops by 70% and they can survive without food for up to 18 days. This adaptation evolved in their Mediterranean ancestors as a way to conserve water during drought conditions.

Scientists have observed that during this soil hibernation, hogs experience unusual rapid eye movement (REM) sleep patterns. Their brain activity suggests they're having complex dreams, primarily focused on rooting behaviors. Researchers at the University of Barcelona's Wildlife Research Center have recorded electrical patterns suggesting that hibernating hogs mentally "practice" foraging techniques during these dreams, which may explain why hogs appear to have improved truffle-finding abilities immediately after emerging from their summer torpor. Some rural communities in southern Spain even time their truffle hunting seasons to coincide with the end of the local hog population's soil hibernation period.

[cloudyf0x]

“There are no female aliens in our game because we don’t know how to make a female version of this alien” You know that alien you just designed? That male alien? Give it a female voice actor and have characters refer to it as she. That’s it. That’s literally all you have to do 

Make her shorter if you must

Make her BIGGER if you aren’t a coward 

[cloudyf0x]

this is frying me so bad