coffeegnomee
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Gnome | she/her | adult#gnome rambes - analysispfp by me
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I'm not the most knowledgeable about season 4 so I would love your thoughts on all the comparisons to it , and also generally on zam's rapidly declining, slightly unstable mental health in the latest stream ( only if you watched it of course! )
This was about the stream "staring into the sun" and I finally finished it (not "crawling", so if anything changed I'm not liable)
So, first off, on a genuine level, I think we have, because of this stream, entered into new and entirely uncharted waters, something that will make season 6 and sunkissed into entirely and completely their own story that no longer has any relations to s4. So not knowing the past isn't a detriment.
Additionally, what actually happened in two years ago isn't relevant to what Zam remembers happening two years ago. And, on a very important note, what happened in season 5 is vitally important to not leave out when comparing s6 to s4. Jumper's betrayal has scarred Zam in ways far deeper than were ever present during the eclipse federation and BOTH seasons are going into what is going on in s6.
That being said I am more than happy to oblige :) I will always and forever yap about how much the past returns to haunt us.
Though THAT being said, I went to look up a Vitalasy quote and got light headed from how DRAMATICALLY terrible and awful and terrible zam and vi were at communication.
There was a sign room on 3/22/23 (vod archive is here) where the only way Zam felt like he could communicate his thoughts to Vi and Subz was by writing them down on signs and hollllyyy shit. That was so awkward I forgot how awkward that was. Zam could literally barely put two words together in defense of his thoughts, could only go "yeah" as Vi read the signs. And Vi literally had his thoughts written down in a book that he kept opening up and reading and highlighting to remind him of his points and would make small frustrated noises at how they were on the same page and yet also not on the same page. And also be unable to just say what he was feeling.
We are in an entirely, and I mean entirely different era of princezam. season 4 princezam could quite literally never bring derap back and tell him how he has hurt him in many words and with examples. The difference is mind boggling.
Ok so. this is going to be rambling because I dont have time to really think things through and there's a lot to cover. buckle up.
The quote I was trying to find, and didn't even really find, was Vi saying to his chat, alone, how zam leaving would be the worst thing to happen to eclipse federation. It's something I vivdly remember him saying and how much I flat out thought he was lying when I heard it the first time. How could Zam leaving or Eclipse breaking up be the worst thing when all it felt like was Vi was trying to control Zam. I didn't believe that Vi truly loved Zam and cared about having him around regardless of what the plot was.
But in the stream he had his book that he read out saying, “We have the gear, we have the hearts, we have the abilities, and we have each other” and throughout the conversation, re-highlights “we have each other” over and over. And once he was alone with chat he said, “I don't even want to build [the prison] without the team’s support”.
At that point in the 3/22 stream above, he was willing to drop the whole project over Zam and Subz being happy with it. And that'll do for my point.
Unluckily for him, between that stream and two days later when they had another meeting, Zam decided that he didn't want to be a burden for the team and would just willingly and excitingly go along with the plan to build a bedrock prison at spawn with the exploited bedrock. He jumped into a hole and killed himself to prove his commitment to the project. Vi also jumped in and also died. Oh my eclipse federation.
As recap if you have no idea what Eclipse is:
The Eclipse Federation started as a team with a goal to not be nice to the server that didn't care about them anymore. The server treated Subz like shit. He had been pacifist all season and kept getting dragged into conflict and killed, and Mapicc (and zam and spoke) blew up his base, and he was tired of being stepped on. So it was time to stand back up.
Vi joined Eclipse with a secret plan that only Subz knew (and ash and spoke) that had been planned since day 1 of the server: he had the wormhole. A game breaking exploit that got them creative mode items and eventually, (after zam betrayed, and only for spoke), op itself. But he wanted to reveal this slowly and excitedly to the server to create a sense of fun and mystery. And he also wanted to balance the server by having the exploits and only using them to defend those he cared about and to create a prison to deter others from trying to be tyrants. He didn't want to be the villain.
Zam joined Eclipse because Mapicc was hunting him down over and over and had just recently banned him off and revived him and left him on one heart. He had betrayed and left Mapicc (and ro) because they had duped thousands of items with a different exploit and Zam was totally done with anyone having an unfair advantage on this server. He burned the dupes and left the team.
Subz took him in when he had nothing, gave him gear and some of his own hearts, gave him a base, a home, and a team to protect him if Mapicc came back after him (and mapicc did. and they protected him).
Eclipse thrived as a team for over a month or so. Laughed and made bases, logged on at odd hours of the night to save Zam, showed up for him and were a great and supportive team. Nothing was wrong.
But that sense of safety would be cracked and then shattered over the coming months.
Bacon said it great at the start of this stream, and if you're new and reading this, honestly so much of what is relevant in comparison of the past is said by the members in the modern era.
But Bacon said that intention and action matter, and maybe action a bit more. Zam agreed and said that what still hurt was how Vi and Subz were good to him. And he wished he didn't kill Vi when he betrayed him, that he only did that because he wanted to twist the knife.
And importantly if you're paying attention at home, Zam is finally in a spot where he accepts that he would have left Eclipse either way. It's just how he left that haunts him.
What the "intention" and "action" were is where Eclipse became the most fucked shakespearean tragedy on levels far past what you could imagine. I'm always one to giggle about how s6 is like s4, but it is maybe 20% like s4. s4 was a fucking crazy ride. I highly recommend it.
Over the coming months, Vi would try and Not reveal to Zam too much about what was planned for the wormhole because he 1) didn't want to spoil it and 2) didn't want ANYONE to figure out how to do this exploit bc it would work on any server.
But also he would desperately, and consistently, and so very very terribly at doing it, was trying to keep Zam on the team... by lying to him.
This is where chat started bringing up s4 when Zam and Derap were talking in the base. Vitalasy lied about a lot of things to Zam, and they specifically had a "no more lies" conversation too.
And from Vitalasy's point of view, he was only holding things back for Zam's own good, to keep Zam happy, to make Zam feel included, to protect Zam from getting scared and running when there was nothing to be scared about.
He also wanted to tell Zam everything, but Zam had said if chat couldn't know, he didn't want to know, and that he trusted Vitalasy.
But Vi had so many moving parts to work with that he would say something like "we have a bedrock farm in the end" to, from his mind, appease chat and keep them off the trail, while also imagining that Zam would understand that there was no bedrock farm. And then he also forgot that he even said that to Zam at all because it was not meant to be taken as the truth.
(Or like Derap says he was the only one to fight against Subz, not because he was but because that's what it felt like to him. It wasn't meant to be taken fully literally, it was just what was important to say)
But Zam would find out it was a lie, and his trust would waver. He'd think about how Vitalasy was adamant he only look at the first 20 (iirc) pages of the wormhole plan and was unwilling to let him see more. In the moment Zam was okay with not getting more info because he trusted Vi implicitly, but Planet eventually saw the book and told Zam that there were only 20 pages and Vi was lying to him.
On that note, another similarity is Bacon talking with Zam. Him and Planet would have tons of conversations with Zam as Zam worked through trusting and then not trusting his team and getting more and more miserable. I made a poll a while back about whether or not they were the reason Zam left Eclipse or if he would have left them anyway and the poll came back a perfect 50/50.
Which is funny because chat in s4 was SO 50/50 on Zam staying or leaving Eclipse. And chat now is so 50/50 on if Derap is being manipulative or not. All that chatter is gonna get loud. And makes it quite reminiscent of s4 all by itself.
Now, now that everything is said and done with s4, it is very very clear that Vitalasy was NOT wanting to be the villain. He said it All the time, but the way that he said it made it Sound like he was straight out lying. He would give examples of the god powers he could do, and how he could be evil, and then immediately say, but I wont do that, i couldn't do that. i don't have the heart to do that.
At times he would look like someone brandishing a knife saying, I'm not going to kill you. That doesn't exactly fill anyone with confidence of not being stabbed.
And when players would ask him to put the exploits down he would say, what exploits? I'm not exploiting right now. While he was flying with potion particles wafting off his character. Somehow, in his mind, since the exploit was obtained in a specific way, one was only exploiting during the moments that they were obtaining the powers, and then after it was just vanilla minecraft bc most of it was potions (with all the positive or negative affects in the game), or it was a double-join glitch and once you set it up it wasn't your fault that you could fly.
And when you watch lifesteal, and specifically princezam, having the heart to commit atrocities is not part of the equation. Mapicc and Zam and Ro committed atrocity after atrocity as Team Awesome, despite Zam clearly having remorse and regrets about the evil he was doing. Despite Zam deciding that he didn't want to be evil and wanted to get rid of the exploits. Despite him leaving Team Awesome. None of those feelings made Zam Not commit those villainous acts.
So to turn around and have Vi insist over and over that he wouldn't use these exploits for real... it just sounded fake. Absurd.
Especially as the plot progressed and Zam betrayed and Vi started Actually Using the exploits constantly, and killed Planet a dozen times in the prison, and was flying around, and was breaking out of the prison when Spoke put him in. He kept using more and more exploits all the while insisting that he wasn't going to be the villain. It was the most fascinating train wreck to watch. And so painful. And so mind bogglingly flabbergasting for truly, and I mean truly, not knowing what was going on in Vitalasy's mind.
But in the end, as Bacon was saying, Vi gave up. As he kept talking to Bacon and Zam and Planet, over time Vi got more and more sad about being the villain, he hated being the villain, he felt misunderstood because he just wanted to use the exploits to protect those he cared about, and he missed princezam and was so SO sad (and mad) about Eclipse falling apart, and so he finally decided to give up all the exploits and burn them in front of the server.
The Server thought he was full of shit and had more exploits at his base and laughed him off the stage.
And Vi banned himself off the server that day. Gave up being the villain in the most permanent way he knew how. And the arc ground to a screeching halt.
...until Subz revived Vitalasy specifically to tour him around the server, reveal a new base, and then tell Vi to kill him. Ban himself off the server because Subz had gotten to a point of missing Zam and Vi and him being a team that he thought maybe, maybe, if he wasn't around they would come back together.
And Zam, well he thought of banning himself off the server too, but ultimately didn't decide to do it, not really but partially because Vi's revival and Subz' subsequent ban, it would have been Too Much to have a trifecta of suicide from one team. But they were literally all doing the same depression plot all on top of each other. It was so much tragedy oh my goodness.
but instead of banning himself, Zam joined Spoke for the wormhole, deciding that it would be best for the server and everyone if he just ended it as fast as possible so they could move on to season 5. (also Pangi bedrocked trapped him to change the trajectory of his life)
So the parallels that keep coming up are the looming doom that Vi/Derap are lying to him. That Zam is unable to tell what is the truth and who to trust.
And that's the terrible part, imo, of s6 and these parallels, and the reason I wanted to find that Vitalasy quote at the start.
You CAN, from a certain angle, when you boil out the wormhole, say that the Vitalasy Zam arc was Vitalasy desperately trying to stay teammates with PrinceZam by telling him anything he needed to hear to be okay with not betraying them.
And there is nothing Zam hates more than being lied to. Even exploits. In the end, before he betrayed, it was more about the fact that Vi lied to him about the bedrock farm and lied to him about changing the prison and lied to him about a bunch of other things, than it was about the exploits themselves. Though, finding a vault of Vi's exploits IS what sealed the bag for Zam betraying.
Which sounds incredibly similar to what Derap is doing.
Even Derap being so accommodating to talking to Zam about his concerns is so Vitalasy. And changing his plans based on Zam, but in a way that Zam doesn't quite trust, is so s4. I don't even know how to begin to describe the actual vi and zam relationship in s4, but this derap one is a fading parallel that is so so so close and also seemingly so so so far.
I do not think Derap is being manipulative on purpose, and esp after this stream I don't think he any sort of master plan like Vi had with the wormhole. And it was mostly the wormhole that drove Zam away from Vi.
But the wormhole was just the convenient glitter that allowed Zam to delve into a greater problem: his communication skills and his hatred of being lied to.
And when you take season 5 into consideration, where Jumper lied to him straight out for three months straight, Zam is now completely triggered by the smallest hint of a lie.
And Derap is manipulating the truth to make himself look good or drive a point home about Zam. He isn't lying to cover some big plan up.
This is where I'm like, this is not going to end like Eclipse at all. This is already so far past were Eclipse was it's crazy. Because Zam has learned how to articulate himself and stand up for himself. He's completely gun-shy about it, but he is learning how to do it and actually practicing the skills he needs to make it happen.
But, I made this comparison a couple of posts ago, with Derap specifically vod-watch stream sniping Zam (which Zam does not know about at all, so no snitches, also it's technically legal bc they're teammates), this pulls s6 back into the realm of s4. Zam Hates stream sniping just as much as he hates exploits. The game is set and we shall have to wait and see what comes of it.
But between vod watching his teammate to find out why he is not trusting him and having the prot 4 exploit, Derap was on thin ice for keeping secrets while manipulating the truth. Now that the prot 4 exploit is out in the open, it doesn't help much, but it does change things. I can only imagine what might happen if Derap keeps accidentally slipping up and mentioning chat messages he's not supposed to have seen.. like needing a PR team.
But without the big evil looking plan like Vi had, idk if the parallels are paralleling. Though Zam ending stream talking about is it even worth continuing is So s4. The constant back and forth and indecision was the hallmark for how Zam ended up being completely miserable in Eclipse by the end and the fertile ground to make him betray the second he found the full exploits.
But the more desperate Derap is to keep Zam on his team, the more Zam is going to panic at the smallest things.
Now, for Zam's deteriorating mental health... this isn't new in the slightest. If anything he is wildly more stable now than the past, as I've mentioned above. I don't really know how to phrase any of this because Zam from a mental health perspective is the largest can of worms you can open. There are so many layers and discoveries and learning and pain and woundedness.
He has a history of paranoia that started from the first moment he stepped onto this server, then he was hunted down in his base multiple times so trading with villagers gives him trauma for being jumped. He is constantly thinking about how he might be betrayed because he was betrayed several times before s5, and then in s5 he was almost completely broken by Jumper's betrayal and now everything triggers that trauma. He also was the betrayer many times and knows what it feels like to be the one hurting others and is anxious he will do it again or that others will do it to him. He's a people pleaser who cannot bear anyone being mad at him and will do whatever it takes to make it better. But he's also a recovering people pleaser and learning how to stand up for himself and his needs.
He doesn't even know what's wrong with himself, but as he said to Derap, Derap saying that makes him feel like there is something terribly wrong with himself. That he's a burden too heavy to bear. And that nobody wants him. The negative self talk is loud.
None of this is new. This is the princezam experience. He gets himself into these situations that make him face some aspect about himself that cuts far deeper than any lore would normally go. And after watching for 2 years it's incredible to see the growth.
And then there's the stone sword mentality. Which I don't necessarily put under mental health though it's adjacent.
You probably don't remember, but early on in s6 Zam had a late night, while making the flame volcano, where he told chat the origin of the stone sword mentality. (7/21/24, about 7:48:00)
His first every youtube video win, he had a public smp with his friends and everyone was xraying and hacking and when someone became the villain and killed Zam, he just set his bed and made stone swords and kept running in, over and over and over. And eventually he actually won. Running at the villain over and over worked.
In terms of lifesteal, stone sword comes from the day in s4 when he died to Mapicc and Ro while fighting for spawn. They went to his respawn and killed him 13 more times. And all throughout Zam was making stone swords trying to kill Ro, but Ro put him on two hearts and left him alone. Mapicc saying they're gods not demons.
But earlier than that, in the finale of s3, Zam made stone axes and ran at Spoke over and over while Spoke slowly farmed him off the sever. And Spoke banned him. Zam accepted the loss and learned that lifesteal is about killing, and gave up being the hero.
And in s5 Zam threw himself at Minute over and over. Usually with Mapicc, but one time in particular he set his bed in front of Minute and fought him until Minute killed him just to see what Minute would do when he respawned right there. This was just before the Joker arc truly started.
In the Joker arc, in the end, after trying for weeks to get Minute and Jumper to kill him, he finally got his wish and got 4v1ed and died almost instantly, banning himself off the server in gayjoker flare, cackling that he won.
Throwing himself at impossible odds and never giving up is princezam. Doing it even if it means death is princezam. The gross disregard for his own life is princezam.
He only looks at the underlying reasonings occasionally. How he runs from his problems by killing himself. Any time he doesn't know what to do, he solves it with a self-ban on someone's sword.
This was actually the very first time that he allowed the connection to be made that he wanted to suicide on Flame's sword and actually used that word.
But it's so heartbreaking to hear him talk about it with Derap. ZAM: “it is dumb. Its self destructive, its stupid, its everything everyone says about me”
Over the years Zam has been called insane and stupid and been misunderstood and a lot of shitty things by the members. And he hears what they say, and he takes it on too. How can he not believe them when everyone says this about him.
But the stone sword goes so much deeper than a destructive defense mechanism. In so many ways it really strikes the core of who Zam is, how he views lifesteal and minecraft. A place where lives don't matter, where you can fight for what you believe in even if you have no hope.
Stone swording has helped him countless times. Being willing to die so easily has kept him safe in some ways, it makes the pvpers pause and be confused and not understand why he would do this. He does still die, but it makes them pause, and in that pause and in being able to grind back up to full gear so easily, it gives Zam the emotional upper hand in the face of power he could never defeat.
And, potentially, makes the pvper think differently about the server.
So much of the s5 Joker arc was about getting Minute and Jumper to understand that they need to kill people on the killing people sever, and Zam tried teaching them that by being a destructive menace that also set his bed in front of them and asked them to kill him over and over. He tested and pushed and prodded them into doing what this sever was made for. Making them loose the idealogical battle so Mapicc and The Players could win the pvp battle.
And even in this stream with Flame, there was none of the gayjoker flare or off-putting delightful giggles, but Zam was teaching Flame much the same lesson, in many of the same way. That he really doesn't have a plan and he can kill him. That he shouldn't be so paranoid about a trap.
All along the way teaching them something about lifesteal that cannot be taught any other way. Death is not important. Lives don't matter.
This is princezam. This is what he does.
And it's so interesting how an idealogical look on lifesteal and minecraft can so easily turn into a discussion about self destructive coping mechanisms.
And Zam wears his "I'm dumb, stupid, what the fuck is wrong with you" mental health as its own defense mechanism. He claims (or rejects) but still believes the shit people say to him which only furthers the idea that this ideology about minecraft IS fundamentally fucked up, that he is broken beyond repair. Which only serves to spiral the discussion rather than letting Zam just be Zam.
Because as he reminisced about the first stone sword incident on that public smp, he said how lifesteal feels like that server, like home.
But going back to how he learned lifesteal was about killing and gave up being the hero in s3, this was part of why Eclipse fell apart.
Vitalasy partially wanted Zam on the team because he wanted Zam to be their moral backbone and make sure they didn't go too far. Zam gave himself the duty of being "the anchor", and that position weighed on him so heavily. He hated being the voice of what they should or should not do, and in his heart he didn't want them to do exploits at all, but he felt bad that Vi had this plan all season and didn't want to be the reason it didn't happen.
But what Vitalasy didn't realize was just how morally different Zam had become.
It was Vi who spurred Zam on to be the hero at the end of s3, passing the mantle of keeping everyone revived onto Zam while Vi banned himself off for the season. And Zam embraced the mantle, fighting for the people of the server against Spoke and Clown who would rather see everyone banned.
But over the course of the finale, Spoke got nearly everyone to betray Zam at some point, leaking his base over and over, and eventually convinced Zam that this is lifesteal and the server must die.
This hugely marked Zam going into s4. He didn't want to be the main character, he didn't want to be the hero, and for the first time ever (iirc) he started talking about how on lifesteal there are no heroes and villains. He became morally grey.
And in his greyness he joined Team Awesome and committed the above atrocities.
But what Vitalasy didn't realize, not until it was too late, was that all this had happened to Zam, and he had been changed since he last saw him before the finale of s3. Vi was inactive most of s4 until Eclipse, only logging on at the start, killing people (like Mapicc and Ro) and and giving hearts to Mapicc and Ro, and then logging off. And Zam was not on s4 at that time, joining a couple months late. The two didn't speak a word to each other from the day of the s3 finale (actually it might've been before then) until they were both on Eclipse.
So when he asked Zam to be their moral backbone, he thought Zam was morally upright.
But Zam is both morally upright and morally corrupt. He will equally fight for the server and repair spawn and get rid of exploits just as much as he will use exploits and kill innocents and be a cold blooded killer.
And he doesn't know himself what is the right thing to do.
So to put him in the position of being the moral backbone, instead of being a good thing and what Zam was good at, was the actual worst place for him to be.
And I think a similar thing is happening with Derap. Derap doesn't realize how Zam has changed and been changed by the server. He's aware of the lore because he used to watch streams, but he hasn't really truly gotten it into himself (or maybe he's just not acting on it bc his character can't know any of this bc he's new) that Zam has been utterly changed by s4 and s5. He just thinks Zam needs to stick up for himself a bit and get over the past. But Zam is deeply, deeply affected by what happened. And that's going to cause conflict within the team.
In some ways Derap is just like Vitalasy, but in others he is totally and completely wholesome and the best thing that's ever happened to Zam on lifesteal (which you also could have said about Vitalasy at some points), a teammate that really wants to be with him through thick and thin and isn't afraid of any of the darkness.
It's exactly the kind of relationship that heals past wounds, makes you believe there is good in the world again, and that maybe you're lovable even if you're a mess.
But he doesn't understand the darkness, hasn't seen it, so how can he truly understand.
And that's exactly what we're going to be watching unfold in the coming month(s).
Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.
#Every time I write one of these it feels like I'm telling the story around a campfire#i love it so much#ty anon and others for asking for different specifics so i can yap in different ways#gnome rambles#sunkissed#s4 analysis#lifesteal spoilers
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gnome save me gnome save me gnome save me gnomesavw me,,,, 4c revealed a bit more abt prism by showing a secret room and its prismS now. new s!!! i immediately thought of u bc u are smart and u love these sort of things :D
- mcytegg 🥹
Ahhhhhh Veni Tegg Mcytegg I've been so busy with life I totally missed 4c updates until just now. ty ty ty for pointing it out.
I agree with the posts I just looked up about what people (and you) were saying about the flowers and colors and letters. I think the general consensus of it being the first letters of the names of people that 4c is doing this trust thing with is accurate. Colors and flower colors symbolizing mc skins. Princezam, Rekrap (sooooorry. It would be so cool if it was Ro. but ro is too purple looking and 4c has a better connection with Rek. and Rek's hoodie has bright blue), Itzsubz, Squiddo, Manepear, Spoke are my vote for the people.
My thoughts besides that:
The room was split in the middle with grass on one side and dead bushes on the other.
That puts Zam, Rek, and Subz on the growing side and Squiddo, Mane, and Spoke on the dead side. Plausibly the people who create vs the people who destroy. (shoutout Jay marshmarrows for that distinction)
Given the timeline of when 4c likely designed this room, subz was not making wardens and destroying spawn. But it was after Mane destroyed spawn even though imo he added Mane to this list from his very early season actions of protecting the chunguses of the server. Clown called him "mr. morality" in the early weeks of the server bc he would only kill people who killed defenseless players.
Which brings me to how spoke was seemingly added only after this room was made, the original signs being prism, not prismS. like you said.
I was a fan of spoke being on the original list bc of the clues squiddo dropped of spoke giving them the bugbombs and spoke alluding to making someone else into the server villains, ie FOCUS. But with the black S being last, that does feel like he was added last.
OR he added Squiddo last so that the room was even on both sides, but potentially wanted to de-emphasize them and emphasize spoke, since you see the Spoke and Zam flowers first and it's quite a nice dramatic look, the white oxyeye daisies and jet black wither roses. And it's so poetic for season 3.
I didn't like squiddo on the original list bc they're already on FOCUS and cube doesn't seem to be on this list at all and I dont like that cause of how 4c so specifically keeps saying he's loyal to FOCUS over everything else. So if one is on this list why are both not on this list ESP since this list was created after the start of the server. But Cube isn't involved as much and Squiddo has some devious sounding possible plans that keep cropping up, that possibly lead to destruction, so it makes sense for them to be on this list over Cube, esp with how this room is designed to be. (also squiddo's ign is TheRealSquiddo. not Squiddo. and the rest are ign first letters, Itzsubz and princezam. so that's also why I think they were added in for this new room rather than being included in the first)
So we have Zam and Rek being the main contenders for people who would save the season (and subz before his wardens) vs the three people who are the main contenders that would end the season.
But it is Fascinating to note how my original thought of the I in prism being i, me, like 4c is now thrown totally out because it's not in the middle anymore now that there's a second S.
Now 4c himself stands in the middle, and the "altruistim" sign stands in the middle, tearing the room in half between grass and dead bushes. "the practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others." Not interested in if they deserve it or not. Not worried about himself. Only concerned with the well-being of them, but tearing himself apart in the process, leaving him wondering "who am I", thrown across the grown in colorful refractions.
And to do that he had to add an S. it's interesting to watch this concept develop in real time, while still sticking to the original idea.
Which brings me to the design of the room.
Behind each letter is a massive red pillar that waves in and out, and I jokingly described them as umbilical cords until that descriptor made more sense than it didn't. As red pillars they immediately look evil, but I would be surprised if this arc had any evil ideas behind it. The pillars attach to the ceiling, and the whole room is shaped like a cave.. or womb.
Umbilical cords give nutrients and life to the in-utero baby, all while the baby doesn't have any idea what's happening. One could say, in a weird way, 4c is giving life and aid to these players like a mother gives life and her body to the growing child in her womb.
Or they just look cool. idk.
But connecting all the 6 supposed members together with the same umbilical cord-like structures is an odd visual for how 4c views how these players are connected. Even despite which side of the room they're on.
They're not just connected to him through the giant Prism in middle of the room, made, for instance, out of a light blue stained glass (for him). If anything he IS the prism in the center, the blue object that refracts the light into different colors, revealing the hearts of those he helps.
No. They're connected to each other through the same red pillars. Or he could have easily designed each pillar with the blocks he used for the letters: each block chosen has both slabs and blocks so the detailing would have been possible. Or just not used red.
There's also this theme of redstone ores and using red dye for the "nothing is ever as it seems" sign. idk why but the redstone ores in the walls of the daisy room have always stuck out to me.
And now there's a red sign. In stark contrast to the blue-ink and white-ink signs of the daisy room.
And there's red pillars.
"nothing is ever as it seems"
Is that 4c's actions are never as it seems: that nobody on the server understands his pov.
Or that these clues are all red herrings. (RED. waiiiit)
but if Nothing is as it seems, what's the point of any of this clue giving. And yet if you just look at the letter/flower/color clues Everything seems to be Exactly As It Seems. There are literally no other lifestealers these colors could symbolize. (ok, by technicality, Ro could be the R by a very very weird turn of fate. but the tunnel rats are too close to being exactly what 4c means when he says "if they ask me for anything I'll do it")
Which just leaves me a bit flabbergasted as to what could be the Nothing that seems to be something that it is not.
Which does make me wonder (and now we're really going into conspiracy theory) if 4c wants to do an Explode Everything arc and pit the "good" side of the server against the "evil", show them they're connected and need each other for the livelihood of the sever. Maybe explode everything is too dramatic. more like mash them together and make them see how they're connected.
These are the people 4c said, "A few months ago i thought up a few people who i liked what they were doing and i thought it would be interesting to be loyal to them as well. And they don't know it.”
"liked what they were doing" not, "thought they were doing good."
and another time: “Cause if i support someones wrongs, everything they do, even if i don't agree with it, if i support it, if i do something wrong in the future i can trust that they will support me in the same way.”
And here they are, connected together, the good and the evil.
What kind of pull the strings from behind the curtain arc could this become. A make all sides have equal aide from a disinterested source that selflessly gives everything for another's benefit. All the while accidentally drawing the server into more and more conflict.
But hey, i love a good villain. And I have always thought 4c would make a fascinating world ender.
The only final thing I don't have any crack pot ideas about are why the heck are the signs around "altruism" like that. It's oak, spruce and dark oak. it's so extra. And the top line is different than the bottom.
it's just weird. 4c is so strange. But it seems significant. Some kind of continuation of the light and dark, grass and dead theme going on.
and the glass floor is prismatic rays except, and im being perfectionistic about it, prism refracting is a perfect rainbow, not a hodge-podge of rainbow colors.
but that's okay.
it's kind of interesting that it's like a river 4c walks through, that doesn't enter any of the letter's spaces. and it isn't lit up like prismatic refraction would be. But I think it is just supposed to be the prism effect.
He wades through seeing exactly how people are, what they think. Overhearing all conversations. He is the prism receiving the light from the players and understanding them completely.
Maybe that's simply what "nothing is as it seems" means. It's a continuation of the thoughts 4c has about when you see everything it hurts to choose, when you know everything how do you know what to do.
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The Phenomenon of Mapicc
At some point we all look back at our early teen years and realize that just because we can scam a fellow kid online because the game developers didn’t specifically write it out of the code or write safety procedures to protect their user base doesn’t mean we should scam other kids online. At some point we all realize, almost out the blue, that the other people online are real people and not just slightly more interesting npc’s walking around the world. (Though the tendency to do so anyway is always present)
Mapicc as a character on the lifesteal smp has long eluded definition for me. There are ways in which he simultaneously 1) a blurred line between character and streamer, 2) a clear cut motivated character with clearly defined goals and personality, and 3) simply and completely a guy playing a video game.
He is all three at the same time. A blurring of real emotions into the Minecraft world, a player curated for a video, and the man who is who he is while he plays video games. I don’t think you can take one out and get a serious understanding of the character of Mapicc.
The battle between all three is constant, and the person who Mapicc plays as the persona of the Mapicc channel is only one part of the lifesteal character that the audience can encounter. The persona of Mapicc, the video Mapicc, is brutal and bloodthirsty, uncaring of past connections, and dedicated to a cause. At least, specifically when you watch that unfold on streams. He’ll be randomly extra brutal for seemingly no reason until you realize he’s got a specific video idea he’s doing. Like killing Pangi and Zam day 1 was bc he was running out of the 24 hours to get to 20 hearts, which is a video idea and also seemingly not caring that (at least Zam) is a close friend. Tbh it’s been a while since I thought about the actual persona of a Mapicc video as told through edited content, honestly, if anything I would say the Mapicc that Mapicc presents to the world on his channel is much closer to himself than how that plays out while watching it as a stream viewer on the server.
Now, you might already be thinking, gnome, this is too much like c! And cc! And I’m tired of all those indicators why can’t it just be blurred and that’s it and it’s all just fun analysis about a small facet of a person that we see only when they want us to and is bound within the four infinite walls of a Minecraft server.
To which I would say, yes, yes my brain hurts too.
But there is something about Mapicc that can only ever be understood through the lens of the media that he exists within and from. I might even argue PrinceZam is not in this category despite being notorious for being a blurred line character. This isn’t simply about the nature of blurred lines in mcrp.
Mapicc is not simply a blurred line. Those two facets of strictly a character and strictly the kid who plays Minecraft on top of the blurred line are vastly important.
A blurred line character is a character that smoothly and subconsciously transfers between the real emotions and psychology of a singular real human, and the projected, improved character that they are playing. They might start as a clearly defined experiment such as “what if I played as a pacifist” and divert into something completely complex. They’re almost like a thought experiments. What if I changed this about myself; how would that look?
Every streamer will be a blurred line at some point. We’re watching real people be entertainment; at some point there is a boundary between who they are and how they present themselves. Some will either create a persona to project to the world as themselves, dropping the act only at certain times, while other streamers might pick up a persona/character at times to fulfill a fun facet of the story but then drop it easily to play the game while talking to chat. I would argue that both sides are valid at the same time for interpreting their characters, an easy example being tommyinnit and Philza respectively. Any server they’ve been on has been marked by their respective styles and you can interpret their characters within by looking at both aspects together, and the elements of the character as a whole will be discovered differently in different situations.
Mapicc, once again is not quite that.
As a streamer who is actually pretty consistent in his upload schedule, he is motivated by the story he tells, the plots he wants to pull off, and the villains he fights against. I find it imminently fascinating that the castle arc was actually supposed to be a video but was scrapped bc Mapicc lost the fight, rather than what was told, sometime earlier, that he just never made it a video and regretted it bc the fans loved the story.
But he is also a player who plays lifesteal consistently. His breaks while editing are markedly shorter than most other players who upload, and his time on the server while not having a clear video idea are much longer than nearly 2/3 of the player base. Most members of lifesteal only appear when they have a video idea.
So therefore he plays Minecraft while on his or other’s streams.
We are all aware to some degree who we are when we play video games. It’s not the same as who we are as people. Whether it’s being more violent, or being a completionist, or farming, or building, or ranking up; everyone has their own preference for why they like playing a video game in the first place.
Minecraft as the particular sandbox that it is has four entire categories of gameplay that coexist at nearly all times: pvp, optimization (speedrunning/redstone), building, and socializing.
Throw anyone into a Minecraft world and they’re going to gravitate to some more than others. And each category has subsets: pvp can be split into competitive and hunting people down; optimization can be grinding, or game mechanics, or red stone machining; building can be artistic/creative mode, or just for fun, or secret bases, or tunnel cults, or anything your mind can think of that manipulates the blocks in the game; socializing can be as a shared activity, or trolling other players, or just running around wasting golden carrots together.[1] etc etc etc.
And Mapicc has maxed out the pvp category, at least to the best of his ability. He leans far more towards hunting people down rather than pure competitive gameplay, preferring to “change the world”[2] by killing someone rather than practice mechanics in a practice server. He wants to get on the ground and actually affect the world around him just as much as any builder.
In other words, the bloodlust isn’t just something he does because his character likes blood and he wants to do a villain arc. Mapicc would want to kill on any world he joins, and would be rather bored if that wasn’t an option for him.
He is also incredibly social, preferring to play with someone else around him rather than taking on solo missions by himself. He’s not a grinder by nature in the slightest, but has learned the skills to be one.
He’s also honorable, in a world commonly upheld has having no honor, holding to a moral code of killing and being attacked as honorable while running in circles and bow spam and not showing up to fight and avoiding battle are categorically dishonorable acts that he disdains. The rule is the rule of battle. Fight and kill and be killed. Let the cycles commence.
And as soon as we start thinking about Mapicc in relation to others, we start to see his character give form.
And this is where we finally loop back around to the point I alluded to in the first paragraph: the phenomenon of growing up.
Mapicc by the end of s4 and through s5, I would say, was his most consistent era. All the memes and love about dogged devotion, unending bloodlust and run-you-down-to-the-ends-of-the-earth-forever-and-ever were thriving. His patience was surprising, willing to wait for the opportune moment to get revenge, never forgetting what had been done against him. [3]
But something shifted in s6, and not just the responsibility of being the owner of the server. Mapicc is simply maturing. No longer 14 years old like in s1, we’re in the post high-school-graduation era.
In the past I would’ve called Mapicc a cheater (/aff), an exploiter, willing, so very willing, to do anything to turn the tide of a battle to his advantage.
But now? I’m not so sure.
Will he be immune to temptation when it arises? No, not at all. While we are already seeing his willingness to never dupe again, his easy laughing off suggestions to admin abuse, we are also seeing his frustration lead him to launching nukes at spawn with Spoke.
He will still always call in backup when he promises a fair fight. But hey, it’s lifesteal. Lying is part of it. And honor is found in showing up to the fight, not in a fair 1v1. This is war after all.
But, and I mean this specifically for the entire character that is the story of Mapicc, Mapicc has been changed. This season is so devastatingly different. Duping and being on the wormhole side in s4 changed him, getting beaten by a traitor in the Abyss changed him.
But s6 has been a slow cooker roasting him into something new.
Everything points to him wanting to mature, to be different from the past, not so impulsive, more caring of his own time and others, willing to drop the past.
Bitterness in loosing teammates and friends, loneliness in a world once populated by an awesome team, and the cold cruel hand of suddenly being favored by the Sever, have only brought sorrow and destruction upon him.
And he’s left purposeless, held together only by what he has left to him, his honor, his pride.
And so, on a much more practical and real world level, Mapicc just does’t have a video idea for s6 anymore and he wants to upload more frequently. Back in s4 he was so much quicker to anger and long-drawn-out to seeing it through. He’s unwilling to drop four months into one video that he doesn’t even upload. This isn’t high school anymore.
And that real world problem of YouTuber-doesn’t-have-video-idea, is part of every character on lifesteal. That ebb and flow of inspiration curates each and every one of them. Wemmbu being done with ls ideas for the season will lead him to ban himself to be rid of the temptation to log on, leading others to be affected by how callously he leaves this world without thought of what they think, thereby curating the character into a complex emotional mess who doesn’t believe people actually care about him or would want him around and who pushes people away and is villainous because he’s never understood what love is. All because he doesn’t have an ls video and has a uu script to write.
It’s part of any lifestealer who doesn’t naturally gravitate towards the “lore” of the server.
And yet recently I’ve been really feeling like Mapicc absolutely plays lifesteal like it’s actually mcrp. He’s become invested in how Mapicc would react to the elements of the server and the things that happen to him. He’s always cared deeply about the livelihood of the server, but it’s more curated into a story than ever before. Mapicc is The Complainer and The Sass Master and that has made him into pvper who is notorious for running around the server dropping lore lines as trash talk, never missing a chance to really lay it in how dumb he thinks Flame is for logout trapping him and always doing what Mane tells him to do. Why? He doesn’t have a video idea for that 2v1 (unless?), none of that trash talk is necessary, he’s shown he doesn’t say that trash talk when on the practice server just days after the event happened. Like, that is so specifically a rp moment taken advantage of. It has no other use than bc on lifesteal Mapicc Hates Flame. (and because on lifesteal is his only outlet for those emotions; he's not going to start hating on his friends in real life for in game stuff)
Sure, in some ways Mapicc keeps lore distinct and at arms length. And this is, for instance, why I think devotions is as devastatingly dramatic as it is; because Mapicc will never admit how much Zam means to him and yet will be character-motivated by his devotion to Zam at all times. But him as a person just keeps that mostly at arms length; it’s not him caring about Zam it’s about the wardens, guys. Spawning wardens for a video. And owning spawn. Obviously.
You see what I’m getting at? It’s not just blurred, it’s two separate thoughts held at the same time. Mapicc and Mapicc combining together to make Mapicc.
So much of Mapicc is a mashing together of anything and everything he thinks of throwing at the screen. And all of that somehow comes out to an actually understandable and crisp final character who always acts in the most Mapicc way possible at all times always, undefinable except by saying “it’s just Mapicc” and that Meaning something.
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So when you see me writing about Mapicc, know this is what is going on in my head.
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[1] im bringing footnotes into a Tumblr essay. Wemmbu, who I talk about later, would naturally play Minecraft as a run around wasting golden carrots type guy. As a person playing Minecraft he does not gravitate towards doing, well, anything. It is only in making a video that he will move himself to be anything. Despite learning pvp and rising, what, two teirs?, he is not someone who will casually look for fights while on a server. It’s not in his blood.
[2] ~1:00:00 GREYS prinzezam vod, ZAM: ‘why are you always trying to kill someone mapicc?” MAPICC: ‘I dunno.. Maybe I feel….. Underachieving. Without it. Like I didn't get anything done to day unless I get another kill” ZAM: “but you have 20 hearts” MAPICC: “yea but the killing is changing the world”
[3] The castle arc lasted from November 27 until March 6. From the day Zam left team awesome to the day they finally got their 1v1 without Spoke spawning a warden. 99 days. (That’s fucking crazy given the 97 days we just went through). I suppose in a very valid way, the mace arc was 8 months and we have no idea where s6 will go and how Mapicc will get revenge on flame, for instance. But as of now he’s just done. That’s very different than any other time in his lifesteal life, and the response, as a long time Mapicc viewer, is more empathetically devastating. But those 8 months are not the same as the four months of the castle arc. The mace was no logged in for most of those days. His dogged determination wasn't the same this season as the past.
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I’ll admit I scrolled Tumblr for like 5 minutes and found out Derap vod watched Zam and I didn’t actually watch the stream or know the full context and while, wow, that is Disappointing to say the least, it actually got me thinking about possible scenarios and how this is an interesting development over something frustrating.
Obviously the historical event of Subz, Vi, and Zam in the Eclipse Federaction arc not watching each other’s vods or streams was something emblematic of that arc and would have made that arc unrecognizable had they known what each other was thinking. And the way that that story unfolded as a viewer who was able to watch every pov and hear the thoughts of each character separately as the tried to understand each other was something completely unique and satisfying and something desirable to encounter.
But, if anything, this new threat of a teammate who gives no room to their teammate for a private life IS an eclipse federation level arc.
While Eclipse could be summed up as Zam finding out and Hating that his team was exploiting, something he upholds as a core value of what should not happen on lifesteal, sunkissed very well might be summed up as Zam finding out and Hating that his team is stream sniping, another thing he fundamentally believes should not happen on lifesteal.
The visible telling of the story will be different because one side has information they didn’t get in-game by themselves, but the core of each story as a plot that goes against something that Zam specifically holds Important might bear fruit to something of a similar scale.
Because, also, Derap doesn’t use knowledge he got while stream sniping in game; he has shown at minimum once during the Zaun arc that he wants Zam to tell him what happened himself so that Derap the character can plausibly know what’s going on. And then of course he pushes his personal belief on Zam based upon his thoughts that he decided while stream watching, but that makes Derap into someone who comes to conclusions quickly, decisively, and unchangeably (until Zam pushes back in the slightest way and then he says he doesn't care and will go with what Zam chooses), which has it’s own interesting fallouts as a character: things that make him sound Incredibly Suspicious and manipulative. Both interesting things to encounter as a character who doesn’t know anything but what is directly in front of him.
In Eclipse, Zam had to wade through Vi lying to him about the extent of the exploit and make a decision based upon what he believed to be right.
And this time Zam might have to wade through Derap constantly Knowing Too Much and being suspicious in how he asks questions, how he manipulates the conversation to get the info he wants and to get Zam to say and do what he thinks is right.
Zam won’t be able to hide anywhere. And that’s Heavy.
It’s a fundamentally different story, one that breaks the viewer out of the world of the play as it plods forward, one that makes Derap not have really character motivations, only things that has to constantly reframe in order to appease a larger narrative that he is crafting in his head.
But is that not similar to what happened with Vi who had a narrative for himself as a character who had access to the wormhole but was going to be a protector of his team and who manipulated the narrative so that it sounded like he didn’t know as much when he certainly knew everything? He chose to say it was a bedrock farm when he knew it was the wormhole. He knew more than Zam and had a narrative to play, one he tried desperately to control, one that the harder he tried to control the more it slipped out from between his fingers. Until it exploded.
Because Zam resists the thought of being manipulated even when it is just someone who is trying to unfold a narrative. Especially when someone is trying to unfold a narrative.
Because as much as I think Derap sounds like he has an evil manipulative plan by how he presents information to Zam, I more deeply believe that he has a narrative for how the season will play out: Zam is by his side until the end. And he must do anything and everything to make sure that happens. He’s not trying to make Zam evil or make Zam kill or anything else that would be overtly detrimental to the PrinceZam mental fortitude and cause him to go joker again, but he is trying to control the narrative.
And that is interesting.
Idk just my two cents, if you hate the arc anyway that’s chill. I’m also a little 50/50 on if I think I like what Derap is doing from a viewer perspective but I don’t really watch his pov unless I have a reason to check his thoughts.
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what is it with new players joining lifesteal and thinking about ending the server in peace. if minute and the whole immortal players of s5 couldn’t do it derap definitely can’t
yeah like guys please surely you'd learn this by now surely like it's been so long and never has it happened what makes u think you're the one to do it
#yo what the fuck winter you absolutely cooked#this is so beautiful#the difference between the perception of what the server is and what it actually is devastatingly changes the new players to want#to save this world they never expected to love so much#so so so so spot on holy cow#lifesteal
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can we talk about. how from what we've seen zam is basically mapiccs everything right now. hes lost his gear, he's lost his team, the mace, the only reliable thing he has now is zam being back. I think. that might be part of why he jumped in today. because he needs anything he can to keep zam motivated so he can maybe, only maybe find something worth his care again.
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HAIII ^_^ so I've wanted to get into princezam since like. November last year but i got scared away by the sheer amount of streams i saw omg?? im wondering if u could help but its okay if not /gen
for a little context i VERYY recently got into lifesteal (like this week) (mainly clownpierce + a few squiddo kab and branzy videos) and im really interested in watching zam bc i fw him so heavy but. idk where to start ? like i want to get into his lore and watch his stuff and whatever #toxic yaoi / yuri (whatever the hell devotion duo is) he has going on but i physically don't have the time to watch like 200 streams yk��💔 im mainly interested in whatever the hell was happening in s4 (bc ive seen ?? quite a few references to his s4 idk why or how) but in general !! like s4, maybe s5 and def s6! Also curious like . what UU + KSMP is?? SORRY im really new to this side bc I've only seen like 1 oomf yap ab ls on their private but. are those worth getting into and more importantly is it easy 😭because time is a constraint for me YEAH OKAY IM SORRY FOR THE PARAGRAPH KSHSJSHSHSH okay baiii
ok this was asked like two weeks ago, you probably already figured it out. But devotions specifically is primarily experienced through streams. Both aren't good at making videos about their plots or about making them nearly as impactful as it is when you see it unfold.
For a stream breakdown of s4 castle arc when Mapicc stalked and hunted Zam there's a doc made by @mapicccc (who is like The Devotions person. literally gave them the name). you can see it here
And then a google doc of a general s4 breakdown of streams by @myrmica that is here. It's incredibly well fleshed out for everything that happened in s4.
Devotions is Complicated. But it is by far my absolute favorite minecraft story ever told. It is literally well worth the hundreds of hours of streams. It is constantly expanding and unfolding.
Though anywhere you jump in is good, like Zam just recapped pretty much everything you needed to know about him and Mapicc in his coming back stream (Born Again). Mapicc was always there for him. Mapicc destroyed Zaun. Mapicc has been broken by this season. Zam desperately wants him around. If you just join in you'll figure it out sooner or later. He's always reminiscing and analyzing the past with chat. Honestly discovering it as you go can be really rewarding in itself. And Zam has so much more lore than just with Mapicc, but I'll just focus on devotion duo since you specifically called it out.
For a little arc by arc breakdown, streams were archived around the end of s3, but zam and mapicc have been a duo since zam joined in s2. They did a lot together that is lost to time. At the end of s3 they clip farmed with Spoke who was spawning withers in their bases. Basically two silly friends having fun in minecraft.
s4 was where it started to get complicated. Zam joined a month late and Mapicc was already teamed with Ro and doing a duo thing with him. But Zam eventually joined their team. Mapicc and Ro (Duality duo) removed the whole end island, then made a spawn prison, then were Medusa (turning spawn builds to obby). Zam joined near the end of Medusa. The team was called Team Awesome.
After Medusa, the team got back up to their usual shenanigans of killing people for any reason at all. Zam has a massive bloodlust the second fighting starts, so all it would take is one suggestion from Mapicc and his bloodlust and next thing you know he and Mapicc would go on rampages together. Two bloodthirsty friends out on the hunt.
But over the night, Zam would be filled with regrets about how much murder he was doing. But one night they attacked Subz and blew up his whole base and Zam jumped into the fight making it an unfair 2v1 and Subz died.
Because of that event, and because they broke all Subz' chests of quartz that he needed for a future build, TA decided to dupe. It created a whole war, but by the end of it Zam was sickened by the fact that they had such an unfair advantage over the server. He wanted to leave the team, so he betrayed Mapicc (and Ro) and retreated to his sanctuary castle in the snow.
Mapicc found him on the first day and would come back day after day to torment him because he left the team and betrayed him. That's the castle arc.
Eventually Zam got banned by Mapicc (on accident) and Mapicc revived him (saying he was not worth being banned), but it left Zam terrified of Mapicc and on one heart. He called Subz for help and gave him his story and Subz took him in (starting the Eclipse arc, the other widely loves and talked about arc. Eclipse is the big Zam arc that has ripples to today as well).
Mapicc was pissed Zam had protection now but would still go hunt him down. One time he jumped Zam while he was using villager and it scared him for life (also cause clown did the same thing in s3) Eventually they had a 1v1 where Spoke spawned a warden in (#wormhole) and then had another 1v1 to really settle the score and Zam won.
The wormhole was upon them and there was an uneasy peace between devotions, Zam was going Through it with Eclipse and the fact that they had exploits too. Eventually he would betray eclipse and join Bacon and Planet, eventually betraying/leaving them to join Spoke for the wormhole bc Pangi trapped him in bedrock. A lot happened end of s4.
But Mapicc was teamed with Spoke already, so devotions found themselves fighting side by side again, here at the end of the world. They ended the server together, jumping into two portals to ensure that it would be destroyed.
s5 mapicc and zam started not on the same team, there was some conflicts between them, some fights. Eventually Zam took a 3 month break and Mapicc was the one to tip the scales and get him back on, running a poll in his chat asking them if they wanted zam to start streaming again. Obv chat said yes.
Mapicc had started the Abyss, and so Zam joined right on, the two (and Bacon) having the goal to drop every player into the void bc they could and to start conflict bc the server was dead. Eventually Jumper and Pentar would be added to the team. The Abyss arc was great devotions time, Mapicc and Zam fought together a lot and Mapicc hung out in vc to keep zam company while he built the freakinator, the bedrock breaker.
But jumper betrayed. And devotions were pushed closer together because of the common pain of the betrayal. They went on a months long mission to kill Minute and Jumper, fighting countless battles and encouraging each other when they lost hope. Eventually Zam decided he needed more hearts to be of more help to Mapicc, and he killed 4c. The shock and bloodlust from killing an innocent player spiraled him into contemplating spawn killing pangi over and over and all he could do was laugh. And so he became the Joker. He gave up on pvp more or less and took Minute in a psychological and yap battle. But all the time, Mapicc was left a little bit on the side. They were still teamed and still plotting to end the server with Bacon, but Zam did the Joker arc on his own bc Mapicc didn't express interest. Eventually Mapicc would say, bitterly, that he had to find out the next day that Zam had done something.
Zam got completely caught up in being the Joker (it was a fantastic arc) to the point of getting himself banned by Minute's team. He had always been taunting them to kill him if they wanted him to stop. And then they did. But it left Mapicc alone.
Mapicc took up the mantle for Zam for a bit, but Zam was banned. Mapicc made a plan to get Zam back to give a blessing and curse (long story) but Zam was so over the season and so character coded that he blessed minute with fire res (which was pointless bc Minute had 64 god apples). That was the final straw. Mapicc told Zam he felt like Zam betrayed him. Zam went into a panic bc it was his one goal this season not to betray and now he had betrayed Mapicc of all people?? So he literally sold his soul to every member he could convince to get Mapicc and the team more blessings (promising any IOU for s6). He got Pangi's account and later Spepticle's account to be able to keep fighting with Mapicc. Eventually they won the season finale and banned the other team.
s6 starts and Zam is paralyzed with remorse over being so evil as the Joker and everything before. And so very done with pvp after trying to kill Minute for so long. So he becomes a pacifist. No fighting at all. It's a great idea, except that all Mapicc is is fighting. By becoming pacifist he directly broke so much of what Mapicc relied on with devotions. But the two love each other so much that both are respectful of each other's paths. But this season has been The Devotions season of all time. So much pain and joy, so many conversations, trying to get on the same page, each wanting their partner back but being too different this time. Deciding to be teammates despite other teams, but even that isn't enough.
Early on Mpaicc killed Zam 3 times for getting Spoke killed, and found that Zam is fully a pacifist and won't fight back. So he stalks him for over a month, listening into his conversations, convinced that Zam is just faking it. (He made a video on it, fantastic devotions content) He goads Zam into fighting him but Zam escapes, he tries to drive him crazy with noise machines, but nothing works.
Eventually Mapicc decides that he would rather have Zam as a teammate than enemy and they end the arc in an alliance.
Mane (and wemmbu) starts blowing up spawn and Zam decides that he has to fight and be a protector of lifesteal, not just be pacifist. Mapicc gets really excited and they fight together. But there is some tension in this time, Zam is using a knockback sword and it feels like to Mapicc that he just calls Mapicc in to fight, as a sword, instead of as a friend. Every time Mapicc wants to kill anyone besides Mane or Flame, Zam holds him back. Tensions build slowly until Zam tells Mapicc that he has a new teammate: Derap.
This sends Mapicc into a spiral and eventually he starts Mawn, Mapicc Spawn. Flame joins him so he can have power. It's an arc that is Not about Zam while being entirely and completely about Zam. Absolute denial from Mapicc. But Mapicc also just needs a solo arc, he needs to do something, he doesn't need Zam, he just likes having Zam, but Zam has Derap. So he's both jealous and indifferent. He becomes convinced that Zam is opposing Mawn and starts fighting Zam, eventually dropping wardens all over Zam and Derap's area, Zaun. But Zam gets him into call and tries to convince him that he is not at all opposing him and in fact has never wanted to oppose him ever. He just can't join Mawn bc it goes against his oath, but he won't oppose it either. They resolve the arc and end teammates.
But Mapicc makes a video saying they weren't. And then Zam went on break for personal reasons and was unable to log on for months. But in the break Mapicc got the server's only mace. Finally proved himself, finally did something really good for his team and something that would bring more fun pvp.
But instead, within a week, SB duped the mace, gave it Clown and Mane making the most overpowered team of all time. Flame joined Mapicc and together they would defeat Subz/fight together against Mane and co. But Flame noted his logout spot in the End. And revealed that he was always teamed with Mane (his bestie) and they made a hole to the void. When Mapicc logged back on he died instantly. No battle. No fight.
Mapicc is entirely about the pvp, about the hunt, about the honor of the battle. Everything devotions used to go back to them fighting. Either together or with each other.
And nobody fought him. And Zam was gone. Unable to log on. Mapicc broke.
And now Zam returns and realizes not only that Mapicc needed him, that he abandoned him, that Mapicc went through hell, but that Mapicc was always the one to cheer him up. Without him, what is lifesteal? They may always fight each other every season, but he always sees Mapicc more of a friend than enemy. He desperately wants him around.
And that's where we end up.
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omg i just botted out and didnt realize it posted and so I reposted with edits and then deleted the second then realized I had edited so deleted the first and then had to post a third time. its actually been too long lmao.
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For months we (I) have wondered why Mapicc ended his Mawn/Zaun video saying "Me and Zam had made up, but it didn't mean we could team. If I could go back in time I would have never done mawn, but now that I have full control over spawn, I can't just stop”
They had a conversation that day, which was partially included in the video, where Zam forgave Mapicc for Mawn, but he cut out the part where they specifically became teammates again. Why would he do a complete 180 and seemingly ignore that conversation?
And then there's this Sunday. The first convo back since the Mawn video. 1:50:00
ZAM: they have no grudge against you” MAPICC: “bro thats just not true” ZAM: “it is. Its it cause-” MAPICC: “It’s not true just cause they said it to you bro, I’m sorry”
They don't not have a grudge just bc they said they had no grudge.
MAPICC: ‘so it’s like, it’s just like, how can I sit here with my pride and go to pangi and derap after I harassed them all season like a dickhead.”
Mapicc doesn’t think he can be forgiven. He doesn’t believe he should be forgiven. What he’s done is too much. How could anyone just let it go, just like that?
He has plenty of pride for sure. Everything, everything, has been stripped from him these past weeks, he has been completely broken. All he has left is his pride.
But his pride covers up the deeper belief, why would they actually forgive me? His pride, reputation, aura, puts him up as a strong pvper, justifies his chaos. Without pvp, who is he? Is he anything without it?
Even if he was a dick to pangi and derap, he is set apart from them. A pvper. The one who kills chunguses, not a chungs himself.
But if he joins them, he admits that they are the same, that he needs chunguses to win, and his pride would take a blow.
But it prevents him from seeing that he is forgivable. That he can be a dick and be forgiven. That people can care about him and want him around despite what he’s done to them.
Because it’s not really about pangi and derap.
MAPICC: “but I like to think I’m the most loyal member of the lifesteal smp. When it comes to minecraft, like I feel like I only betray when there’s actually a decent reason in my head so I- I just wanted to say like my bad for the zaun thing that was like actually fucked up [crouches away] and I don't know why I did that”
Caught up in loosing Zam to Derap, all those months ago, (vod GREYS) Mapicc started spiraling the second Zam told him he had a new team with Derap.
48:30 12/4/24 ZAM: “i have a new teammate” MAPICC: “okay” Zam says derap has plans for reviving wemmbu. MAPICC: “okay then what the fuck am i supposed to do” MAPICC: “what if i did something… [thinking] crazy” Mapicc crits zam ZAM: “why are you hitting me after all of that?” MAPICC: ‘because if I hit any of them I’m scared they're gonna drop” A little later MAPICC: “okay well then I’m confused are we working on this together or no?” ZAM: “I don't know. [..]” MAPICC: ”no I’m saying- I’m saying me and you. Cause if you have a team I assumed I had to make my own plan.” ZAM: “I guess?” MAPICC: “so I’m working on making my own plan. But I just don't know what to do” A little later MAPICC: “[to himself] who can I kill..” ZAM: “why are you always trying to kill someone mapicc?” MAPICC: “I dunno.. Maybe I feel….. Underachieving. Without it. Like I didn't get anything done to day unless I get another kill” ZAM: “but you have 20 hearts” MAPICC: “yea but the killing is changing the world” MAPICC: “yea but it’s like I need to find like what I want to do right now. Like what do I care about [...] it lowkey feels like I don't care about anything right now”
6 days later he’s bringing wardens to spawn. He has a new video idea.
On the first full day of Mawn chat asks Mapicc won’t this ruin his team with Zam, to which Mapicc responds, “I’m not teamed with Zam”
Oh tragedies of tragedies. As the arc unfolds Zam again and again proves that he’s not fighting against Mapicc. Again and again says that he doesn’t want to fight Mapicc.
Over and over Mapicc thinks Zam must be going against him.
He teams up with Flame to harass Zam more, giving Flame authority in Mawn specifically knowing that Flame wanted to torment Zam.
And then Zaun day. And Zam calls him back and tells him they’re still teamed. Mapicc apologizes for Mawn.
And then Zam disappears. Mapicc gets the mace. He thinks Flame is teamed with him, his new teammate for a new era without Zam who left him for Derap anyway.
And Flame betrays. Void trap, duped on, no empire. Nobody.
Everything that has happened these past weeks feels like it has been curated to destroy Mapicc personally. It dives at the core of everything Mapicc is and has been. Every bad thing that Mapicc has ever done on lifesteal was done against him, and all within one week.
He’s made logout traps, he’s duped. The one thing he’d never done was betray a teammate for no reason.
But by the time Flame betrayed him, he knew he had done that too.
If he can admit to himself that Zam was always his teammate, then he betrayed his teammate for no reason.
His core value, his deepest pride, “I never betray I’m only ever betrayed”. shattered. How could he have done that.
How can Zam truly forgive him for that? How can anyone? Just because Zam says it doesn’t mean it’s true bro.
If Zam needs him for pvp he will be there. It’s the one thing left to him. But if Zam needs him as a teammate? A friend? He can’t. He just can’t. He will uphold that they are teamed, but he can’t be there.
It is too painful to look at a world where Zam holds no grudge. Because he should hold a grudge, he should hate Mapicc he should go have fun with his new team. He shouldn’t need Mapicc. MAPICC: “that’s stupid. and irrational” There’s no world in which Zam could actually want him just for himself.
I said long ago that Mapicc has been getting the Princezam treatment this season. A story has unfolded that directly destroys everything about himself and makes him encounter himself. Absurd situations make every new plot point more destructive: Zam going from one exploit team to an even worse exploit team? Literally how.
Mapicc going from one team to another to a third all with the hope of fighting and one after another it gets worse and worse. An empire that is afraid to team fight, a zam who doesn’t want to fight and who holds him back, a flame who straight out betrays him and never gave him even one fight. Everything that makes Mapicc Mapicc has been cut out and stomped on in the dirt.
And on top of it it’s the emotional toll of being wrong. In s4 Zam left team awesome bc he hated exploits and didn’t believe Mapicc and Ro were actually going to give them up. Then Mapicc gave them up infront of him on the nether roof. But Zam betrayed anyway. And then Zam finds himself once again on the exploit team, this time not believing that Vitalasy would not go evil and use the exploits. He knew Vi would. Vi had to. He was going to be the villain and Zam had to go against him. But Vi wasn’t the villain. He banned himself off to prove it. Zam betrayed for no reason.
If Vi had truly been the villain, Zam’s betrayal would have been justified in his eyes. Had Zam truly gone against Mawn, Mapicc’s betray would be justified in his eyes.
It’s not the same story, but there’s themes for both characters of making decisions and having to live with the consequences. Of trying to stand up for themselves, of trying to be who they are even when they don’t know what that means. Of failing. Of feeling remorse. Of needing forgiveness while not believing they deserve it. All while lifesteal spins and hands them a tale that is particularly devastating just to them.
Just as Zam would have had to be a different person in order to not betray Eclipse, Mapicc would have had to be a different person to not betray Zam.
Zam had to face his own people pleasing and fears of communication and deep hatred of exploits.
Mapicc had to face his own jealously about Derap and his pride. His pride can’t let him admit how much he needs Zam. How much he need someone. But most specifically how when that person is Zam everything is better.
And it doesn't matter what zam says about them being teamed or wanting him, Zam has a team. It's just like GREYS.
I wrote a partial post on my break about how Mapicc needs a duo. At his core he needs someone. When Flame rejoined Mawn it reignited the fire in Mapicc to uphold Mawn rules and mess with Bacon. Whether or not it was to test Flame’s loyalty, him being there reignited Mawn.
And even in other seasons, there was only one day (maybe 2) of castle arc where Mapicc didn’t have either Ro or Spoke by his side. All of Gucci he had Bacon. All of Abyss he had Zam. All of the stalking Zam arc he had Bacon. Earlier this season he had Zam until Zam got Derap. The one time he killed Derap at the titanic he had Chief. I mean for goodness sake all he needed was a 3 heart Jepex to go to spawn with the mace that one day.
Without someone, Mapicc has no direction.
He needs someone to talk to, have someone to bounce ideas off of, to encourage the good ones (and the bad ones) with relish, someone to log on when he needs help, someone to make a boring task less dull. It gives him purpose to play this server with someone else, with a unified goal/video idea.
He becomes the most himself when he has someone by his side.
And what sucks is that the mace arc broke specifically that part of him. It was like the Server was telling him he’s trash and that nobody should be friends with him. It’s been confirmed that he is unforgivable and unlovable. Flame pretended to be his friend. MAPICC: ”I know he’s better than me but I just kind of thought he was on my side. And he was my friend which was nice.”
Completely alone.
Where oh where will this go next. Even if nobody can convince him back this season, mapicc has been forever changed.
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Gnome are you okay it’s been a month
<3 thank you. im am resurrecting soon. Princezam has returned
I needed a hardcore break cause I get bad posting anxiety and it was stacking up. And I'm a lurker at heart. And i lowkey ran out of words lol. you know how comedians need to go live life to have a life to joke about, i abruptly realized needed the same in terms of lifesteal just continuing before I could comment on it more. I stacked up like over a year of thoughts before starting to write them down and share them here and I kind of ran out of topics in like Dec, and then it really hit a wall in Feb and went, what if I just close everything and wait until Zam comes back and just vod lurk if there's new stuff. It's been a much needed break. And the thoughts are thoughting. I'm really excited to start sharing again.
#life did also just get busy in general so i may just fail and be less active again#i tend to like to be fully caught up on the vods before posting bc shit is always going down#but im always days behind so gg#but i got a devastating mapicc post rattling in my head bro i gotta let it out
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"I'm sorry I don't seem to be the person you're looking for." "No yeah I.. I'll keep looking. Thank you."
i have a lot of things to say about realms pangi tonight (as usual) but i'll try to keep it concise. on his grief, on his coping mechanisms, and on his healing.
pangi has already grieved pili. he's disguised it under layers of vengeful plans and cartoon-villain monologues, but he's already arrived at the final stage of grief, and all he needed was the confirmation that this pili isn't his. isn't theirs. he's come to terms with the fact that he's gone.
i want to say that he's healing, but that's not entirely true yet. there will be a period where pangi denies in that way of his--not by believing that New Pili is Old Pili, but by immediately trying to move forward. quite literally by erasing the physical remanents of their friendship, and getting ros to fill-in the book in his place. he's trying to cover the open wound by painting it before it can get the chance to close. that isn't healthy! it's going to fall apart one way or another, and he's going to have to approach it again, but more gently. he has to come to terms with the fact that pili can be a memory, even if another version of him is living and breathing. pangi has to accept that no matter how angry he is at how it all ended, how shitty pili was to him, he can still miss him. he can hold onto the memories he has of him and let ros in at the same time.
pangi, as a character, is unable to linger. he feels the need to jump from thing to thing, never giving himself the proper time to sit and process. when his worst fear is proven, when he is shown that he isn't wanted or needed somewhere--he shuts down the part of himself that was trying to be wanted and needed. his way of 'staying on top of it all' is just adding another layer. he buries it under something new, and tries to forget about it and barrel onto the next thing. it never works.
as he said, he'll keep looking. instead of accepting that the spot he's carved out for pili has gone empty, he immediately tries to find someone to fill it. he hasn't entirely accepted that nobody fits that shape, and that ros cannot fill that spot. he does not believe in coexistence. i don't think this means he's stuck in an endless cycle of trying to find something to latch onto, though. i think pangi has people who will help pull him out of this loop, and i think today he took the first steps to slow it all down.
by letting go of that residual anger surrounding his death, by accepting ros' friendship and letting himself be honest with her, by teaming up with aimsey, by getting closer with hannah and bad, by letting himself admit that pili is truly gone-- he's healing. slowly and messily, as a griever does. he's getting there. he'll never be how he once was, or look at a cornflower the same way, but he's taking the initiative to be happy again. a stranger will continue to walk the realm with the body of someone he gave everything to, someone he loved, and it will hurt. but he has people who love him just as much as he aches, and eventually that will dilute the hurt. i think it already has.
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And of course the armor is Misery, Dejection, Melancholy, and Despondency and the shield is Sorrow.
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subz just renamed his axe "eclipse" and giggled about it the whole time. btw.
#i need to watch the vod now because wasn't his axe 'PrinceAxe'?#<- prev#i hate him#he was gonna change it to smth else but went “well it kind of matches the sword name”#which is Terminus. as in the end of something.
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im realizing just how attached ive grown to subz while watching his streams where he says every single day how badly he wants to leave, im actually cooked bro 🥹
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Sorta related to your last post and it goes without saying, but who you watch on Lifesteal makes so much difference on what you want to happen. I was watching Lifesteal back in s3 but only from Rek’s vids and occasionally a Branzy or Clown vid too (notably funhouse and casino stuff), but since Rek wasn’t huge into lore it was just another thing I watched, kinda comparable to a very competitive hermitcraft. The video that my perspective has changed on the most since then was easily Rek’s cleansing video. Even back then, Rek was very compelling when watching him and even after the bit where he was like “they got everyone back to 10 yipeee” I was dead set that the cleansers were power hungry lunatics, and it was only when I started watching again last year I realized how much more was going on. The same thing happened with his abyss arc video, which I watched before watching all Zams abyss + Joker VODS and I thought Jumper was so justified in the betrayal, then watched the VODs and flipped sides completely ( no way Imissabyssarc likes the abyss??). In s6, I can barely watch videos framing Zam as awful (coughcoughflamefragscoughcough) since I know how much they’re twisting everything thanks to the streams. It makes me wonder if I’d feel more supportive of Jumper if she had VODs conveying everything, since as you said, it makes one of the biggest differences between Abyss and Eclipse. Sorry for rambling I’ll stop now ;-;
oooh I love this! Classic Rek being the gateway and then realizing there's so much more. I love that you thought the cleansers were power hungry lunatics lol. I barely have a memory from that even though Rek's cleansing video was The Gateway for me. I needed to know more about the conflicts.
And that is soo interesting about Jumper and kind of what I was really wondering with that post - like those who found ls through her video (and others on the arc) and how they thought about her betrayal because of just seeing the condensed yt video of the story. And also how that's so similar to just watching Spoke's wormhole video and how I defend his betrayal even though it was messed up.
What would it really be like to have access to all those recordings and actually see both his and Parrot's thoughts and reactions in full? What would it have been like to not have Abyss pov at all? Cause like, my post literally sprang from watching the new Rejoice strengthsmp video and Mane's bizzaresmp video and being like wow what was everyone else thinking when this happened. I have literally no idea if they streamed it or not but it doesn't matter bc im not going to watch the streams even if they had it, I'm just a casual viewer. So like, suspicion confirmed that if you watched Jumper's video you would have thought she was in the right. Because that's all you got. So normal, right? We just trust the yter.
But man, what would it have been like for Jumper to stream everything and talk about how messed up all the things were that Abyss wanted her to do and her in-real-time reaction to luring 4c or killing Vitalasy. How those moments motivated her and drove her closer to Minute. You start to see it a bit after they loose the presidency. Not that Jumper is particularly good at articulating her thoughts, literally never had to until jokerzam started putting her on the spot, but that doesn't really matter. Chat would have asked, or she would have said it to Minute and explained more. Honestly chat asking questions would have been so much of it lol. Nothing like a lore loving chat to draw out your character motivations.
But as it stands we just have the post-arc reasons, which sound weak and thrown together (incidentally the same criticism thrown at abyss by Ash) But that's because we weren't there. And articulating anything after the fact isnt the same. It's so interesting. I need to stop rambling in return lol but like it shows how s5's overarching theme was about that difference in making a youtube video and being a streamer and it came out in the abyss arc and then really came out in the finale when pb&j didn't want to stream their plans and wanted to get good recordings (antitrapbox my beloved) vs mapicc/zam wanting daily content to get on and do things and fight.
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Forever thinking about how Spoke's betrayal of Parrot had such a smaller negative emotional impact to me than Jumper's betrayal even though both were months long undercover operations culminating in an abuse of the friendship for an ulterior personal motive that caused server-wide implications, mostly for the fact that Spoke's moment was entirely not streamed and revealed only in video while Jumper's had streams, and Spoke's was one piece of the rising action while Jumper's was the final crowning moment of the story.
I remember watching Spoke's reveal in his (original) video and being flabbergasted that the wormhole literally was barely a glitch and entirely hinged upon the social manipulation of an admin to the point where if Spoke didn't manipulate Parrot the wormhole just literally was not a problem or issue and did absolutely nothing (esp since Spoke never talked about the fly hacking lol). And I was shocked at the level of betrayal and the brutality of that moment, leveraging years of friendship for his own gain. It was devastating, it was monumental, it made me pause the video and just Think for a bit at how messed up it was.
But the video carried on and I already knew (and loved) the ending of the wormhole; the massive event, Planet loosing by 10 seconds, the server coming to an end through several awkward speeches.
The betrayal was just one blip in the larger story, you know?
Whereas Jumper's betrayal came completely out of the blue. Moments before she was celebrating with the team, moments before lamenting over loosing, and suddenly she reveals she leaked all the plans and made sure they lost and never cared about the team. She worked her butt off that final week to not be suspicious at all.
Honestly, it probably felt as bad as Parrot on the day Spoke betrayed him. And it felt really bad.
And then the arc was over, the server moved on, everyone else forgot about the betrayal and wanted to talk about new beef and new ideas, not rehash why Jumper didn't care about the team and why she betrayed.
There wasn't a catharsis of getting revenge (like parrot fighting back against wormhole), and to add insult to injury there was *Lifesteal Sunday*. Kick them while they're already down.
And yet. In the end, the story as a whole included a catharsis. 48 hours of hunting Jumper down and killing all her teammates. One by one until she was the only one left. And then getting her too (well, close enough ig). If you were to write a parallel video to s5 like the wormhole video, Jumper's betray suddenly is in the middle and the entire second half is filled with three plots to get her killed, trying again and again, getting Minute's team to betray him, etc etc. culminating in their victory.
You could easily minimize the pain of the betrayal by focusing on the revenge and waiting to talk about it in the video; if they waited to explain everything just for the youtube audience; if lifesteal wasn't streamed (i gasp).
What I'm trying to say is the difference is in how much was streamed. Which fascinates me because I have always wondered the affect of watching a season after it's over (and being able to watch everything without breaks and not having to live with the days of no streams wondering what will happen next, and too an extent knowing what happens) vs watching a season live. How it feels to watch the story unfold in both scenarios.
And I'm starting to think that that isn't what matters (ok it is still part of it), it's the access to the information in general. Everyone Jumper affected streamed all the time (zam and mapicc and then ro), both leading up to the betrayal, after, and up until the end. We got a constant look into the thoughts and emotions and affect of her actions.
Whereas Spoke didn't stream. Parrot didn't stream. The entire betrayal happened outside the eyes of those who did stream (eclipse and planet and bacon), all the emotional affect of the betrayal was only shown in the video, and there have been enough articles about that video already on how it conveniently leaves out so much.
S4 was marked by there being a simultaneous public plot being shown on the streams, and a completely hidden private plot between havoc duo that nevertheless had vast server implications with the wormhole as an event and parrot taking 3ht under his wing.
Which, because everything goes back to eclipse, also makes me wonder the affect this concept of streaming had on how everything happened with Vitalasy - him being in the center of the public plot much like Jumper was in the center of her public plot, whereas Spoke got off scott clean by not being in the center. So many layers that I'm not smart enough to get into.
In one way you could parallel Jumper's betrayal to Zam's betrayal. Both were on a team for months, both vocally loved the team, and both one day decided to leave the team in a devastating moment of betrayal and murder. From not-their-own-pov it was the same.
But because we do have Zam's streamed pov, you can watch how his betrayal was a slow process of realizing he couldn't stand what the team stood for but was desperately trying to stick with it anyway because he really really wanted to make it work and he only decided to actually pull the trigger the night before he actually pulled the trigger.
And because we do have Vi's and Subz' pov we have their thoughts and the affects Zam's sudden betrayal had on them and how devastating it was. How they also didn't see it coming bc omg he was on board two days ago. How it easily felt like if he knew he couldn't be part of the team he should have just said so a month ago instead of lying to them. Causing all that pain.
Eclipse, for me, feels so much more like an epic tragedy, both sides in the wrong, both sides in the right, both sides loving each other, and both sides being unable to be together. etc etc. it's a long and complex plot streamed from both sides with so much going on that to this day we still talk about it.
And so, Jumper is caught in a strange situation. Unable to stream her thoughts at all because she must hide her betrayal or it gets leaked. And needing to have streamed her thoughts to give her side of the tale in that particular way that live-streamed content gives, because the other side was giving their side of the story.
It's so... It makes it even more sad. And even more unique. It's own plot that bears strong emotions. It earns its title of worst lifesteal betrayal because of its situation, because it was both seen on stream and not seen on stream. It merits the devastation, that acclaim of best betrayal. at least, imo. Which is just fascinating.
#i'll never get over the concept that how you watch lifesteal influences how you view lifesteal#if you pick a streamer or just watch videos or even like keeping up with liveblogs#and how lifesteal itself will limit how you can watch lifesteal and therefore how you can view it#and how even with all this we each have our own reactions to situations based on a million little things both from what#we watch and from our own history not to mention just like what we find interesting overall on a very general sense#like its so interesting#i wish i could pick each of your brains for how you think about the server but i know trying to articulate thoughts isn't#everyone's idea of a fun sunday afternoon#so instead you just get my yaps#gnome rambles
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Lifesteal Duos Tournament, Round 5, Side A, Match 2
you can submit propaganda in reblogs or asks! voter fraud is allowed!
#devotions lost their poll#and now the split to vote zam or mapicc is making them both loose#this is lifesteal's greatest tragedy#vote dualities#ill be a D6 enjoyer till the day I die
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