cometalk-blog - Tumblr blog

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Hi. I have this new boyfriend, and i love him a lot. I know he loves me too, but im so scared he'll get tired of me and leave. because thats something that has happened before with people that i care a lot about. i know i won't be able to handle it at all if he does grow tired of me. i just want to be prepared in some way if he does

There is absolutely no way of making sure people will stay. That is the beautiful part of the process: if they stay, it’s because they want to. You can’t obligate anyone to love you, the same way you can’t avoid death. Don’t worry so much about what could happen, it probably won’t get you anywhere. Focus on your relationship right now, what you can do to make it better, and let the future decide. People disappoint us all the time, but it never means all of them will. 

As for getting prepared, I wouldn’t make plans based on the worst case scenario. I truly believe that the only thing that makes us stronger is previous experience so... Live and let live, sweetheart. Don’t allow your preoccupations ruin what you have right now.

I hope it helped! Feel free to talk to me

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My best friend just ditched me. I feel like I'm being replaced and I don't know how to tell her without sounding clingy. Idk maybe I'm overreacting

Friendships are such complicated things, but sometimes it’s worth it. Try to talk to her, but not begging. Acknowledge your value. If she doesn’t give you any good reasons, she might not deserve to stay in your life. Loosing people you love is always difficult to deal with, but sometimes we shouldn’t be spending so much energy with people who don’t seem to care about us.

Tell me how everything went if you want to. I’d love to know!

I hope it helped. 

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I’m so sorry for being away for so many days :( I’ll restart answering you guys right now, thanks for your patience. 

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hey

hey friend

dont kill yourself tonight ok

you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again

youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep

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To everybody needing it:

I’m really sorry to hear your day sucked

I’m not sure if tomorrow will be better for you, but it’ll be a reset

You’ll find the courage you need to do That Thing

You are perfectly okay. You’re doing just fine…more than just fine, even. There’s nothing wrong with you. 

Take care of yourself tonight. It’ll be okay.

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Things able-bodied people need to stop saying to the chronically ill.

• “At least you’re not dying!” • “You’re only disabled if you let yourself be.” • “You need to tell yourself you’re going to get better, else you won’t.” • “But you can’t be in pain ALL the time, don’t exaggerate.” • “You don’t LOOK ill.” • “There’s so many people worse off than you.” • “I’m sure you don’t REALLY need help.” • “Sometimes it’s easier to just give up.” • “Stop being so negative.”

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fun reminder

- mentally ill people who hallucinate aren’t jokes

- mentally ill people that have delusions aren’t jokes

- mentally ill people that go for days on end without washing themselves aren’t jokes

- mentally ill people that flap their hands, rock back and forth, etc, aren’t jokes

- mentally ill people that are otherkin/fictionkin aren’t jokes

- mentally ill people that need attention aren’t jokes

- mentally ill people aren’t jokes

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my sister is going through a deep depression, im afraid she will commit suicide :( I dont know wt to do anymore, she never talks to me or anyone. any advice?

Dealing with someone who is depressed is usually difficult. It takes mostly a lot of patience an the acknowledgment that it will eventually get better.

About your suicide concerns, usually people give out hints. Pay attention if she seems to be talking about it more than she did before, or giving away her things, and even if she seems to suddenly get better (like the idea of finally freedom). Beware, talk to your parents about it, treatment is always important, recovery is real and very possible. I don’t know where you live, so here is a site with international suicide hotlines (outside of US). US are: 1-800-273-TALK or 1-800-273-8255 

Back to her depression, it is always important to show someone who is going through some difficult times that you will be there for them. Say things like “you are very important to me” or “is there anything I can do to make your day better?”. It might be frustrating on the beginning, but keep going. Don’t judge or criticize, and specially don’t minimize her pain. Never make comments like “I bet you are doing it for attention” or “You just have to look at the bright side, you are not helping yourself.” It is easy to say when you are healthy. Listening (when she feels like talking) is sometimes more important than giving any advice.

A thing I always say in these cases is that learning about depression is highly important, in order to be aware of the symptoms. These links might help: (x) and (x)

I hope it helped! Feel free to contact me in case of any more doubts. 

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I find your idea great, hope you can help some people out there that need it :)

Thank you very much! It really helps me to keep going ❤  

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I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe. 

————————————————————————————-

Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts. 

-Draw something

-This website translates the time into colours.

-Create your own galaxy.

-Play flowing.

-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like. 

-Listen to music.

-Calm.

-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.

Sleep issues; 

- 8 hour sleep music.

-Rainy mood. 

-Meditation.

-Coping with nightmares.

-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.

-Calm

-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively. 

 Uncomfortable with silence; 

-Rainy mood.

-10 hours of rain and thunder.

-3 hours of rain and thunder.

-Human heartbeat.

-Rainforest.

-Sound of rain on a tin roof.

-Autumn wind.

-Rain on a tent

-Traffic in the rain.

-Soft traffic. 

-Fan.

-Train.

-Simply noise.

-My noise.

-Rainy cafe.

Anxiety; 

-How to stop worrying. 

-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.

-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques. 

-Self-help strategies for anxiety. 

-Helping a friend with anxiety. 

-All about worrying.

-8 myths about anxiety. 

Sad, angry and depressed/depression; 

-“I’m always sad”

-Feeling sad.

-Going through trauma.

-“I’m always angry”.

-Anger management. 

-All about anger.

-National helplines and websites.

-Self-help strategies for depression.

-Dealing with depression at work.

-Dealing with depression at school.

Isolation and loneliness; 

-Pets and mental health.

-All about loneliness. 

-“I feel so alone”

-10 more ideas to help with loneliness. 

-How to deal with loneliness.

 Self-harm;

-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.

-146 things to do besides self-harm.

-More alternatives to self-harm.

-Self-harm alternatives.

-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.

-Getting rid of scars.  

Addiction; 

-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.

-What is addiction?

-All about alcohol and addiction.

-The facts about drug addiction.

 Eating disorders; 

-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.

-Eating disorder treatments. 

-Support services for eating disorders. 

-Self-help tips with eating disorders.

-Eating disorder recovery. 

-Recovering from an eating disorder. 

-100+ reasons to recover. 

-Understanding and managing eating disorders. 

 Dealing with self-hatred;  

-3 ways to ease self-loathing. 

-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.

-Self-hatred resources.

-10 step plan to deal with self-hate. 

 Suicidal; 

-International suicide hotlines (1)  (2)

-Preventing suicide. 

-Reasons to stay alive.

-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

-Coping with suicidal ideation.  

 Schizophrenia;

-All about schizophrenia.  

-Helping a person with schizophrenia.  

-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.  

-Delusions and hallucinations.  

OCD;

-Managing your OCD at home. 

-Overcoming OCD.

-How to cope with OCD. 

-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments. 

Borderline personality disorder; 

-Helping someone with BPD. 

-All about personality disorders.

-Treatment for BPD.

Abuse; 

-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships. 

-Emotional abuse

-Overcoming sexual abuse. 

-Hotlines services. 

-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship. 

-Domestic violence support. 

-Signs of an abusive relationship. 

-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship. 

-Surviving abuse. 

-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed. 

-Sexual assault support.

-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused. 

 Bullying;

-How to stand up against bullying.

-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.

-How to help stop people bullying you. 

 Loss and grief; 

-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.

-Grieving for a stranger. 

-Common reactions to death. 

-Working through grief.

(Other loss and grief)

-Moving away from friends and family. 

-Coping with a breakup.

 Getting help; 

-Seeking help early. 

-All about psychological treatments. 

-Types of help.

-All about age and confidentiality. 

Things you need to remember; 

- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.

-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not. 

- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this. 

-You are not alone. 

-You are enough. 

-You are important. 

-You are worth it. 

-You are strong. 

-You are not a failure, 

-Good people exist. 

-Reaching out shows strength. 

-Breathe. 

-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you. 

-Give yourself credit. 

-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones. 

-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend. 

-Focus on the things you can change. 

-Let go of toxic people. 

-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do. 

-Try not to beat yourself up. 

-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next. 

-You are not a bother.

-Your existence is more than your appearance. 

-You are smart. 

-You are loved. 

-You are wanted. 

-You are needed. 

-Better days are coming. 

-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright. 

-You have more potential than you think. 

- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

Please remember to look after yourself and know that you are more than worth it and you deserve to be happy. Keep smiling butterflies x

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Reblog if you actually give a shit about anyone who’s suicidal or depressed.

No one should scroll past this

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y did you decide to make this blog? wt moves you to help people you dont know at all?

That is a great question! 

I decided to make this blog after I noticed I always tried to help anyone who seemed to be going through some problems, posting things that weren’t very positive and stuff. I asked a few friends of mine and a blog I like very very much, and after their support, here I am! Also I intend to be a psychologist, but mainly because I believe kind words can prevent really bad things from happening.

You asked me what moves me to help complete strangers… I don’t know. I think it’s the idea that I can make someone’s day flow easier, it feels great. There is also the fact I can deeply understand some problems, have gone through them myself. 

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I am also here if anyone needs me!!

That is great! 

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Thanks for all of you who have helped me divulge the blog! You are awesome ❤

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I've been in recover from bulimia since i was 15, im now 20. and ive always considered it a personal failure that i wasnt anorexic, like i wasnt strong enough to just not eat in the first place. And being 20 i feel like im too old to still struggle.I feel disgusting having had a bagel and butter and cheese and 2 bananas w pb. Im ashamed of struggling and being fat at the same time.

The most important thing of what you have told me is that you are already in recovery. Recovery is real. Recovery is possible. That is a huge step of the process. Accepting the problem and deciding to fight it is extremely hard, and you are a winner for doing that. 

We can do nothing unless we want to. No one can force us to get better unless we are willing to. Keep that in mind.

Please, don’t have the image that being anorexic is a good thing, something you should aim to be. It isn’t. Being healthy, independent of your body shape (being skinny isn’t and has never been a synonym for health) , is a concept to be followed, even if it seems impossible. 

I confess I had to read a lot before answering you, I don’t want it to be shallow. By reading, I found out that bulimia has three major things on the background, and I imagine how many times you have heard that. Besides the psychological side, there is also the social one. A thing that I find important to tell you is: the media lies. It wants to put us into the same category, with the same body type and ideologies. It is not possible to be everything we see on magazines, television and even on the internet. Comparing yourself to other people rarely makes great results. My tip is to compare yourself with who you were yesterday. You need to become better than you were, and day by day, it makes a huge change. 

There is no age for having a problem. Putting guilt on everything you do and especially feel is what brings you down the most. Other people will do that, you don’t need to help them. Instead on focusing on what you considerate a failure, turn the spotlight to things you can be proud of, even if it is not an amazing done. 

Keep fighting, love. No problem lasts forever, you are stronger than your demons. Surround yourself by people who love you and truly want to see you get better. I believe in you, and especially believe you will win this war.

Please, feel free to keep sending questions or chatting with me. I’ll always be happy to listen you. 

I hope it helped!