confusedintrovertfan

[confusedintrovertfan]

I think the overall dynamic between kandriel regardless of whether you’re shipping the three of them or it’s a qpr or they’re friends or whatever is funny bc their behavior is not inherently romantic and they all kind of coparent each other and it’s funny like Andrew and Kevin are like Neil I swear to God if you don’t turn your phone on and take care of yourself I’m going to kill you or you’re going to have a permanent babysitter, and Andrew and Neil are like Kevin for fucks sake stand up for yourself and enjoy your life a little (stab your abuser it’ll be fun), and Neil and Kevin are like Andrew you can’t live exclusively off of ice cream you have to exercise and plan for the future because guess what bitch you have one and we aren’t letting you out of it

[confusedintrovertfan]

It’s so funny going from Neil’s asexual pov to jeans definitely NOT asexual pov

Neil: Kevin is tall and has a tattoo

Jean: pretty boy with a soft smile and beautiful green eyes

Neil: Renee is a women and has hair

Jean: a force of hope and beauty, an anomaly in a world that’s ugly and bleak. She is the sun.

Neil: Jeremy is the captain of the Trojans and he smiles a lot for some reason

Jean: his bleach blonde hair frames his tanned freckled skin, his broad shoulders and tiny waist give way to his thicc thighs and ass

But also the reverse

Neil: Andrews strong unwavering frame and honey colored eyes

Jean: the tiny goalkeeper

[confusedintrovertfan]

Neil “I don’t swing” Josten passing the torch to Jean “the cruelty of these nonstop temptations” Moreau

[confusedintrovertfan]

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it."

[confusedintrovertfan]

I know Nora says andreil don't say "I love you" and I know many people prefer that take and I also know that saying the words is not necessary to have a loving, healthy relationship and that some people love differently etc etc...

BUT! I think they do say the words, at least once. And here's why:

Neil needs things spelled out. He might know that he loves Andrew, but he will never, ever make an assumption about how Andrew feels about things, including Neil himself.

Additionally, Neil is not used to being loved. He isn't used to assuming that the people in his life actually love him. So why would he assume someone loves him just because they do nice things for him sometimes? Maybe they're doing it out of pity. Maybe they have ulterior motives. Neil doesn't know and the idea that it's out of love would not be his first guess.

So, if Andrew doesn't come right out and say it directly, Neil will live under the assumption that Andrew doesn't love him.

He might be fine with that, going about his life believing Andrew doesn't love him the same way Neil loves him. Neil is used to loving things that don't love him back, and at least Andrew seems to care enough to let him stick around. That's better than nothing.

However, the minute Andrew finds out Neil thinks his love is one-sided, he makes sure to correct that.

It's like pulling teeth for him - getting the admission, the words out there - but Andrew refuses to let Neil carry on believing he is unloved.

It comes out more like an insult and a curse, wrapped in barbed words to hide the soft underbelly Andrew is exposing ("God you are so dense sometimes. I love you, you fucking idiot.").

But the fact that Andrew utters those words at all is enough to make Neil's eyes widen ("Do you mean it?") and Andrew's ears turn pink as he nods ("Don't make me say it again.")

And then Neil says it back, and he says it so plainly and so honestly ("I love you too.").

And this is the part Andrew had not expected, because he knew all this time that Neil loves him. Neil had stayed - without a deal, without a promise, expecting nothing in return. He gave Andrew all of his truths and then some. That was all the proof Andrew had needed.

But then he hears the words out loud and it's overwhelming. Neil has always been shameless in his feelings and his affection, and there was never any doubt, but-

It's nice, to hear the words out loud and know for a fact that they are true. In the past, "I love you" has always been a lie, a trick, a shiny veneer to hide the ugliness beneath the surface.

But not so here. Neil has backed up that "I love you" every step of the way through his actions. This "I love you" is not a lie. It is just another one of Neil's truths, given freely.

[confusedintrovertfan]

Andrew’s all about respecting someone’s no until it’s one of the foxes telling his nieces and nephews no. Then he could give less of a fuck. They own him. He’ll give them anything and everything. One of them asks for money, he sends double. Presents every time he visits. Parents say no? Uncle Drew says abso-fucking-lutely. As long as they aren’t hurting themselves (or others depending on the severity) he’ll do just about anything for them. He’s the worst about it with Aaron’s girls but it extends to the rest of the baby foxes as well. He is the favorite and he worked hard to get it. He is their confident, their safest space, their biggest advocate. He will drop anything and everything to be there for them. He’s walked off the court just to answer a phone call about homework problems. And higher power help them if someone makes his babies cry. Andrew Minyard is the best fucking Uncle to ever Uncle and you will not change my mind.

[confusedintrovertfan]

I don't care how good at time management he is your Honor! There is NO WAY Aaron Minyard was casually majoring in BIOCHEMISTRY while playing Exy, keeping Katelyn a secret, going to therapy with Andrew, partying on the weekends, the Trial, AND having to deal with all the bullshit Neil brings?? Homie has ulcers for real

[confusedintrovertfan]

andrew secretly gives king and sir lots of forehead kisses, and now they both headbutt Neil in the face expecting kisses and Neil has no idea why. Andrew, why are our cats constantly hitting me in my mouth with their heads?

[confusedintrovertfan]

Dan: While I'm gone, you're in charge, Kevin.

Kevin: Yes!

Dan, whispering to Neil: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want him to feel bad.

Neil: Obviously.

[confusedintrovertfan]

Matt: I saw you hanging out with Andrew again

Neil: Matt! It's not what it seems!

Neil: Andrew and I are just dating. He's just my boyfriend

Matt: so there are no best-friends feelings involved?

Neil: you are still my one and only best friend! He's just the love of my life, nothing more

[confusedintrovertfan]

After their first year in Palmetto, Andrew and Neil started exploring their relationship since they could both admit that they had one in the first place. Boundaries were not crossed, but they pushed gently on them daily, trying to make their something work. That night was one of those days. They had decided to share a bed for the whole night to see how it goes. Neil was really excited about being allowed to be beside Andrew at his most vulnerable, when he's asleep.

"Stop that" Andrew said, not opening his eyes to look at Neil.

"What?" Neil asked like he didn't already know what Andrew is referring to.

"Staring. Stop it." Andrew said in his monotone voice but Neil had a feeling he is not really annoyed so he pushed.

"Why?"

"I'm trying to sleep." Neil was amazed by the minute pout on Andrew's lips. Anyone else probably wouldn't be able to see it there, but Neil had spent hours studying Andrew's face to miss it.

"I'm not keeping you awake" Neil says in the tone of voice that Allison calls his 'innocent baby voice'.

"Yes you are. Stop staring."

"How can I do that?"

"Close your eyes, Josten" Andrew answered exasperated. Neil can't help but humour Andrew by doing what he's told.

"I did"

"No, you didn't. I can still feel you staring at me"

"But I did close them!" Neil tried to defend himself.

"Then it's not working." Andrew's brows furrowed. He opened one eye to see Neil on his side turned towards him with his eyes closed.

"Maybe it's my thoughts." Neil says after a while. "I can't get you off my thoughts."

Andrew could see his idiot's smile at the end of the sentence. He hated that it made him feel… that it made him feel.

"Shut up. Stop being sappy." Andrew turned to his side, mirroring Neil's stance. He opened his eyes fully to look at his boyfriend. Andrew was still in awe that he got to have him.

Neil gasped and opened his eyes as well.

"How dare you accuse me of being sweet. Take that back now!"

"Never." Andrew replied with a smirk. He rarely let himself break his emotionless mask, but this was Neil. Neil was safe.

"Well then I guess I'll keep staring till dawn and you and I both know that I can do that" Andrew knew his junkie definitely could and he found himself only half irritated about that prospect.

"If I cannot get rid of you, kiss me. Yes or no?"

"Yes, now we're talking." Neil leaned in.

"We aren't talking. We're kissing." Andrew said, a breath away from Neil's mouth before connecting their lips.

[confusedintrovertfan]

[confusedintrovertfan]

Wymack's Peptalks

An older Andrew talking with Wymack about life and whats the point in trying. Scene is from @stillmadaboutpetra's fic Does the Dog Die in the End. It's probably my favourite writing of older Andrew, charaterization is great and the writing is incredible. This mini comic is basically a thank you back to the writer, they did amazing. Definitely go have a read.

[confusedintrovertfan]

I have a fic idea but no way of writing it. I have zero knowledge on the subject, and I suck at writing... hope this finds the right people...

Neil is discovered to be dead, and when the police arrives they find Andrew in the crime scene holding the murder weapon. Long story short, Andrew is blamed for the death, and he ends up in jail for it. The fic will be about Andrew's trial, where he tries to prove his innocence while dealing with Neil's loss.

if this post reaches the right audience and a fic is created, could you be so kind as to drop it in the notes?

thanks in advance and take care <3

[confusedintrovertfan]

i feel so alive everytime i think abt the concept of noah czerny representing the presence/awareness of an author writing their book

[confusedintrovertfan]

I have never bought the idea that Niall's death was uniquely hard on Ronan because he was first on the scene to find the body. Now obviously, it was terrible for him, and he definitely had PTSD regarding this. But realistically, is it that much worse than for the person who is second on the scene? Or third? Because Ronan wasn't the only one to see Niall's body after he was murdered.

Can you imagine how it went? After Ronan found Niall, he must have called for help, or gone for help. Based on his very clinical description of the removal, Declan saw the body too, and was probably the one to call the police in the first place. And then, both Ronan and Declan trying to keep Matthew and Aurora from seeing what they witnessed.

But the Barns was so rural, there would have a time lag before the police arrived. And then there would have been police, and EMS, and a crime scene, and questioning of the family. And all the while, Declan hovering around, trying to keep to keep law enforcement from discovering the other secrets about the Barns. It makes you wonder if he was ever briefly considered a suspect, himself. But afterwards, the matter was dropped.. There's not any mention of further police investigation. Did Greenmantle find a way to buy off the police?

Anyhow, what was uniquely difficult for Ronan was this. Ronan worshipped Niall, and his god was toppled. At the Barns, Ronan was literally the center of his small universe, and he was exiled into a world that did not care about him in the slightest, at a time when he was grieving both the loss of his parents and his former life. He had never developed any of the survival skills that served Adam so well. At a time Ronan was most vulnerable, he had the least protection. And yes, he had his friends, but they were teenagers themselves. There are no supportive adults to see Ronan through the uglier aspects of his grief to the hurting boy inside, and offer help. Apparently Aglionby only cared about its reputation and Niall had them so sequestered that they never made social inroads at their church.

But people grieve in different ways, and it must be acknowledged that Niall's death was terrible for all three brothers.

[confusedintrovertfan]

I know you all thought that this scene:

Ronan pointed at the cart. “Get in there.” “What?” He just continued pointing. Adam said, “Give me a break. This is a public parking lot.” “Don’t make this ugly, Parrish.” (Blue Lily Lily Blue)

was the first time Ronan and Adam did something like this but you are wrong because this exists:

Last week, he and Adam had taken turns dragging each other on a moving dolly behind the BMW, and they both still had the marks to show it. (The Raven Boys)