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Michael Schneider

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i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

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It wasn't there 😔

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somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

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🪨

🪲🌱🪱🐛🐌🌱🌱🪳🦗🪱🪱🌱🪲🐜🐜🐜🪱

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*cools ur dashboard down*

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The most dramatic moment during my Camp Counseling career at an all girls camp was when a girl got a letter from a friend saying that Zac Efron had died and one of her bunkmates ran out of the cabin and shouted “ZAC EFRON IS DEAD!!!!!” and the camp immediately fell into chaos girls were crying in the middle of camp and running around spreading the news everyone was yelling and the counselors had to look up wether or not Zac Efron was dead (this is a wireless camp so the girls couldn’t access the internet and check for themselves) and then get out a megaphone and be like “ZAC EFRON IS NOT DEAD PLEASE REMAIN CALM” outside of all the cabins it was insanity. 

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Daryl Cagle, November 23, 2003

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[Image descriptions in order: text which says "... ... That's right. Having sex means getting naked. I forgot that simple ——— yet scary, fact until now."

The first ellipse is two sets of ellipses, and the em dash is two to three times the regular length.]

[A tag which says #why is that em dash hung like a horse]

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steven universe was an extremely influential television show and you can tell this because people on here still wield the phrase "steven universe fan" like it's a slur whenever they're desperately trying to prove they're not like other gays

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Hooray! Yay! Dykes!

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have you or a loved one been diagnosed with asshole? you may be entitled

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pet peeve of mine whenever I talk about being bisexual online and people want to make it about them

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high limits on buildings seem so bad to me: a law that says "you may only build a building so glorious". If the building outshines the mountain surrounding the city, perhaps that is a flaw with the mountains: perhaps nature should have tried harder.

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love seeing revisionism in the wild “free the nipple never meant you can walk around topless every where that’s still sexual harassment it just meant for like breastfeeding and stuff”no it literally means you should be able to walk around topless anywhere because get this. breasts aren’t fucking sexual organs.

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Why isn't "too scary" a good enough reason to never drive a car