constelhearts

[constelhearts]

this is going to be long . but at this point what else do you expect from me .

i've always had a Feeling that ragatha might've gone through abuse since the pilot , and the feeling got stronger with each new episode . her lines employed a lot of passive voice ; which speaks to how astronomically Low her self-esteem is without actually saying it . on top of that , her behavior blared those alarms for me . constantly blaming herself ? people-pleasing ? emotional repression ? they're hallmarks of the fawn response . you know ... one of the four f's of Trauma Responses .

now knowing that aspect of her backstory it ... Sadly makes sense . did i see it coming ? yes . do i still find it sad how it puts so much of her behavior into perspective ? also yeah .

just taking notes from her present behavior and the tiny hints given of her home life , i imagine she grew up in an overly-controlling , repressive environment deprived of love and affection . the perfect incubation chamber for one , fully fucked-up child , basically . it's no wonder that ragatha's desperate for companionship and validation — because it's something that was never given to her all her life . there's a pit where a mother's love should've filled .

with no mention of her father or any other relative , it paints ... a very bleak and isolating picture . like , no wonder she misses her horses , i think the animals were the Only thing that brought her joy in that farm . either her dad is absent OR if we consider how traditionally feminine ragatha is ( being demure , modest and passive ) , it could be a conservative household that's patriarchal ... or maybe she's a child of divorce . idk which one i prefer lol .

either way , she Might've had ... Zero Support ! i can't believe we've gotten to a point that i could confidently say i was a lot Nicer to ragatha than gooseworx was . like the implications here are Not pretty . it could explain why she's desperately grasping for Any strand of companionship she could have in the circus .

obviously , fawning comes from appeasing to The Threat , and you can make an argument that by appeasing to a non-existent threat in the circus , she thinks she's avoiding The Scenario™ .

but something is telling me that she was taught all her life that love is to be Earned . that you have to Prove that you are worthy of being Loved . and of course , not being able to meet her mother's impossible expectations , she didn't really ... get it . and now being in an environment where there's people that actually Cares for her , she's Grasping . she's keeping them Pleased because It's All She Has . seeking warmth in a dwindling fire kind of thing .

BUT THAT'S JUST MY INTERPRETATION . i'm not really completely with it but ! it's what i came up with . whatever interpretation you can come up with , it adds a level of tragedy into ragatha's increasing distance from the others . her pleasing works for Avoiding Conflict , not for Creating A Deep Connection . which is why i like that one line where gangle thanks ragatha for teaching her softball . ragatha sharing her interest instead of giving empty praise made them bond , yay !

so yeah ragatha needs to be spoiled and pampered lovingly this post is already long enough i'm going to drink water

[constelhearts]

reading the posts about ragatha being relatable to people with autism is fascinating , because i thought of her as a bit of a Cluster B Mood ......

that strong feeling of Resentment when the person you're fixated on is hanging around with someone else , even getting Closer to them than they are with you ? holding in an ungodly amount of Anger that would explode when let out ? being confused and frustrated because you don't know what people Want from you ? constantly seeking validation to the point your behavior feels Manipulative to others ?

to your core , just wanting Love and for people to Care about you , but you're not sure about going about that because you don't know what your authentic self is . after all , it was forcibly Taken from you a long time ago . the typical experience of being a Person is just completely alien to you .

because , yeah ! i get it . i don't relate to you and your story , but i Get it , ragatha . you will represent every traumatized neurodivergent that's been alienated their entire lives .

[constelhearts]

Murder drones pixels!!!! :D

Credit is not required but appreciated

[constelhearts]

i'm so glad people like my friend exists. made me feel less shitty about myself. i'm glad people care for me. i'll do my best to care for others back...

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humanity sucks.

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i hope my mum is DEAD i hope all my siblings (apart from katt) are DEAD i hope all my old friends are DEAD i hope my mum dies in a car crash leaving her for the DEAD

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I GET TO KEEP MY SISTER’S PLATFORM BOOTS WITH BAT WINGS ON THEM YAESSSSS!!!! AHHHH IVE BEEN WANTING TO HAVE THEM SINCE 2021 I THINK…..

[constelhearts]

💖🍮

[constelhearts]

no way...

♔ WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN TETO PREFORMED OFFICIALLY /POS /POS /POS OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE IT I WAS THERE WHEN SHE JUST EARLY UTAU OH MY GODDDD ♔

[constelhearts]

i wanna adopt half of jiraiblr/landmineblr and be an older brother figure for y’all and listen to your vents and protect y’all from online creeps!!

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i need monster.

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◠◠　　Black and Pink PNGs　₊　🩷

f2u, credit is optional 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚

[constelhearts]

i would so play it omg!!! <3 the character designs are really good!!

hello everyone

i want to make a visual novel so here are some character designs

[constelhearts]

at school :P life is ok. waiting for the bf to appear in my dms. answer me u bitch!!!! /aff <33

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when i get home from school i should continue watching the danganropa anime <3 and maybe make some kandi or draw anime characters on sheets of lined paper :) with hyperpop and all my fav songz

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im starting to feel like my own community to feel safe in is just turning into a drama high school girl ass battlefield, so i might just post random stuff and avoid it all. love ya!!

[constelhearts]

Btw I love jiraisupportgroup <3

Saying that cuz she is extremely based and even if I disagree on some stuff I think she does a great way of expressing her opinions in the healthiest way possible and has done SO FUCKING MUCH for this community

She is the reason why I got into this community which made me the happiest person alive

I FUCKING LOVE HER! <3 /p ofc