coolmiters

[coolmiters]

The Start

Why am I doing this

This is just a personal documentation/journal or hell even a blog about my increasing drug use, or at least increasing at the moment, I just want to get it out there and maybe one day I can look back on this and smile and say I did the right things or experienced all of what life has to offer or at the very least be able to remember my state of mind at the time.

Beginnings

I guess I have to give some context before I start talking about my past experiences with drugs, I’m a seventeen-year-old straight/bi-curious guy living in the south of England with my parents; hoping to go to uni in a years time to study medicine.

 I used to be extremely introverted in my younger years, only having a small group of friends who I would play video games with after school had finished, so until a couple of years ago I had a fear of socialising and I was always anxious when talking and just had a hard time making friends. Until around two years ago when I took part in a government scheme called NCS, and I was able to develop my social skills and communication skills and all around became socially competent, this is also where I met my first girlfriend C.

I’m now currently studying Biology, Chemistry and Maths for my A - levels and I’ve got a few good friends at college and I have a girlfriend called J, we were each other's firsts, and life is generally going good.

The first time

So as I mentioned earlier, I took part in NCS, and someone I knew from my school at the time called D was also doing it, I hadn’t really spoken to him that much, he was in my form, but me being introverted and quiet I never interacted with him. But anyway, on NCS we became good mates and when it finished he threw a party and invited me, of course, me being the lonely introvert, I went. There we both smoked weed, nothing heavy I know, but it was my first time ever doing drugs and at the time I was pretty straight edge so to my younger self it was a big ass thing.

The crackheads

I lost contact with D, after an incident involving his ex (C)... but anyway I had started college and it was a few months in, and there was JJ, I had known JJ for years, we had classes together before during GCSEs and we generally got on well. We now had Chemistry and Maths together, so we started chatting and after a bit we became good friends, and every week he would come into class and tell me about how fucking wild the weekend was, he was friends with people in the year above and every Friday they would go out and get absolutely fucked on whatever they can. So after a couple of months of hearing this, he says to me “Hey do you want to come to one of the seshes with me and the crackheads?” and me not doing anything that Friday or Saturday, I said sure.

Friday comes around me, JJ, EL (a mutual friend of me and JJ, she was in my maths) CA (JJ’s friend), AD (CA’s then boyfriend), FG (A friend of JJ, a chill dude but also fucking mental when high, there's a rumour that he’s slept with 49 people) and MC (a friend of mine who got into snorting mandy a couple of years ago, so I never went out anywhere with him). So these people and a few others get the bus to the local town where we pick up and go to the beach to smoke a few zoots, CA and AD both double drop molly. CA’s eyes rolling to the back of her head with forever be burned into my memory. But halfway during the night, CA says to me “Hey you’re really chill, and I want to sesh with you again, that's an honour I don’t say that to most people that tag along.” After that night I would sesh with these guys every Friday.

Molly

After a couple of months seshing every Friday, CA decides that we should book an Airbnb and use it as a crack den for a night, so after everyone chips in a bit of money, she books it. She also asks me if I want to drop Molly, me being a dumbass says sure, so I give her five quid and she tells me she will give me a pill when we get to there

Friday comes about, me and EL head to the Airbnb to safe-proof it, we chat and actually connect, she even tells me her best mate has a crush on me, which is news I still don’t really know how to process. But anyway, we wait in the Airbnb for all the other people to arrive, and after they do we all chat for a bit and generally have a nice time. 

A few more people are here this Friday. KP (a nice African dude from the year below) G (super experienced with drugs, he’s taking a year off before joining the armed forces just to continue taking drugs) and S (in the year below too, she’s been linking with G).

The night progresses, after all the girls have done their makeup, S and G crush up a pill of molly and snort it off the kitchen side, that's the first time I had seen anyone snort anything so it shook me a little. C then hands me my pill and says “hold onto it, “ so there I was, baggie in my hand waiting for everyone else to drop, I still remember how nervous I was, my stomach was doing flips and I remember sweating and I must have looked nervous, because when me and C swallow our pills, she turns to me and says “see? Painless,”

Shortly after that, we headed out of the Airbnb to go to the beach to smoke up, and on the way, I speak to G and ask him what to expect and how would I know when the molly kicks in, he gives me good advice and tells me “You will know when you know,” during this conversation, MC comes up to me and leans on me for support, he says to me “You feeling anything yet?” (he’s a small guy with a fast metabolism) I remember shaking my head and saying “I don’t think I am,” he kinda did a half laugh and said, “Well I am absolutely fucked right now, and If I am then you will be.” 

My eyes were fucking massive. Not as in my actual eyes, but my pupil, I have nice blue eyes, but at that moment the iris wasn’t visible, my pupils covered nearly all of it. And that's all I remember. Molly makes you have short term memory loss, the few bits I can remember, is that music felt too fucking good, the beat courses through your body and you feel almost at one with it. Everything feels a hundred times more, like your touching something a hundred times with one touch if that makes sense, and I remember kissing people, no idea who, but my inhibitions were lowered to the point I was kissing guys.

Conclusion

This is already too long, so I’m going to cut it here, but I have more stories and I’ll keep updating this with other drug experiences, I’ll probably do a weekly update regarding what I’ve done that week and my plans for the coming week. Thanks for reading.