coralcorduroys

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avril lavigne was right. what the hell

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We need to go back to using sailing ships full time like immediately. Yes it would take longer to get places but the Aesthetic is unmatched

Like there is nothing sexier hthan this

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i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf

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Sea lions are just seals with an extra electron.

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I’m so tired of hot actors with no actual talent or magnetism. we need more ugly little cuntservers giving performances that fuck so hard you leave the theatre with road rash. willem dafoe if you’re out there

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"I'm informed that your supper is ready" - Count Dracula, having just slaved to cook Jonathan's dinner, light the candles, make the fire and set the table in .1 seconds

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Happy Normal Trip East Day!

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avril lavigne was right. what the hell

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Oh my god you throw ONE mirror ONE TIME and tumblr is never gonna let you forget about it

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Just thought about Dracula cooking Jonathan's meals and wheezed like "hmm vat vould little blood boy vant to eat"

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I can’t believe I laughed out loud when Jonathan saw Dracula doing chores. This was a bit unexpected but Jonathan’s shocked reaction amused me the most.

“Damn bruh this place is too quiet am I stuck in here???” “wtf why is the Count make my bed— HE ALSO PREPARE A DINNER TABLE???”

who knew that these little things could make him slowly realize he’s in a victorian gothic literature.

And if Dracula took place in modern day, my bro Jonathan wouldn’t even doubt this. He’d just think Dracula’s a divorced emo man or something.

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Happy Lizard Fashion Day to those who celebrate.

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Lucy Westenra being able to somehow accept blood from FOUR DIFFERENT PEOPLE without any cross-reactivity is just. Bbygirl ur a universal acceptor and we love that for u

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give it up for bread with soup

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I wish jonathan harker a very pleasant and normal business trip

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in catsle dracula. straight up "jorking it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. a shovel in draculas face

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Dracula, being extremely sus and menacing with red eyes, pointy teeth, crypt-like breath, and no reflection whatsoever, smashing Jonathan's shaving glass and generally being a huge creep:

Jonathan Harker: idk hOw the fUCk im suPPosEd tO SHavE NOW???