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when taylor swift said “i hosted parties and starved my body, like i’d be saved by a perfect kiss” and when nessa barrett said “what if i didn’t do this to my body? what if i quit and then you don’t want me?” and when billie eilish said “i’ll try not to starve myself, just because you’re mad at me” and when olivia rodrigo said “comparison is killing me slowly, i think too much about kids who don’t know me” and when

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when girl in red said "always in the back of my mind you'll be my girl" and when taylor swift said "your name forever the name on my lips" and when gracie abrams said "you'd be the love of my life when i was young" and when the lumineers said "i'd marry you in an instant, damn your wife i'd be your mistress just to have you around" and when lorde said "i am my mother's child i'll love you till my breathing stops" and when seafret said "you know i'd rather drown than to go on without you" and when maisie peters said "now everything is through, its you i wanna call though" and when lana said "i think i'll miss you forever"

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when marina said "i can't open up and cry cause i've been silent all my life" and when gracie abrams said "how do you call it when you're in your head? like when you really keep inside of it?" and when wolf alice said "I'm a curse to my friends, to be condemned, mistakes I made and won't mend" and when phoebe bridgers said "and I have this dream where I'm screaming underwater while my friends are all waving from the shore"

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when taylor swift said ‘they told me all of my cages were mental, so i got wasted like all my potential’ and when sabrina carpenter said ‘cause you were all i looked up to, now i can’t even look at you’ and when phoebe bridgers said ‘are we only biding time until i loose your attention?’ and when olivia rodrigo said ‘god, i wish that you had thought this through before i fell in love with you’ and when finneas said ‘so go ahead and break my heart again, and leave me wondering why the hell i ever let you in’ and when billie eilish said ‘i’ll try not to starve myself, just because you’re mad at me’ and when gracie abrams said ‘i should’ve cut all the ties but i didn’t, i didn’t let go’ and when laufey said ‘i know i sound stupid, i do that's what love will do to you’ and when kodaline said ‘if you loved me, why’d you leave me?’ and when harry styles said “we don’t talk about it, it’s something we don’t do, cause once you go without, nothing else will do’ and when timothée chalamet said ‘you don’t like who i am now’

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when taylor swift said "one day I'll watch as you're leaving cause you got tired of my scheming, for the last time" and when conan gray said "cause now I'm scared that everyone i love will leave me" and when gracie abrams said "until I'm feeling like an island, until I'm strong enough to hide it" and when taylor swift said "i didn't know if you'd care i came back" and when conan gray said "if being less insane would make you stay, then I'd be more like my sister" and when phoebe bridgers said "after a while, you got quiet and i got mean. I'm always pushing you away from me" and when taylor swift said "i know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it" and when harry styles said "what if I'm someone you don't want around?" and when billie eilish said "thought I could fly, so I stepped off the Golden, nobody cried, nobody even noticed, i saw them standing right there, kinda thought they might care" and when taylor swift said "who could ever leave me, darling? but who could stay?" and when-

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when the smiths said "two lovers entwined pass me by and heaven knows i'm miserable now" and when sylvia plath said "there is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room"

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why is wilhelm’s new hair cut giving adolf hitler

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Nick had somehow managed to drag Charlie to one of Otis’ parties, but they had ended up splitting up; Charlie had gone to talk to Tao about something, and Nick was hanging out with Imogen.

He had always enjoyed hanging out with her, ever since they had met in primary school, but they had gotten closer ever since both of them came out of the closet as queer (bisexual in Nick’s case) - Nick shortly after falling for Charlie, and Imogen thanks to long night conversations with Nick (Sahar might have had something to do with that…).

It wasn’t the being queer that had made them become closer, but the realization that a boy and a girl could be together without having to become anything else; all of the external (and internal) pressure had dissapeared and they were free to be friends.

Anyways, Imogen honestly has no idea how she didn’t see it before. Nick was so obviously not straight. It took her five seconds of being in the same room as him and Charlie to notice that the way that her best friend looked at Charlie was most definitely… not platonic.

He always looked at the younger boy with that stupid smile that always caused Imogen’s chest to tighten. He looked so in love. Imogen was torn between feeling happy for them - her favourite boys deserved happiness and it made her heart flutter to see them finally getting it - and wanting someone to look at her the same way - as if she were the only thing that mattered in the world.

The thing is, Nick wasn’t looking at Charlie like that.

He was looking at his boyfriend with a confused stare. Tao seemed to have ditched Charlie to go make out with Elle in the bathroom, and Charlie was now talking to someone Imogen didn’t recognize.

She saw Nick’s stare become a glare as the girl Charlie was talking to put a hand on his arm and laughed loudly. Imogen couldn’t hear her laugh over the loud music, but she saw the girl throw her head back in laughter, apparently at something that Charlie had said.

“Nick… you okay?” - Imogen checked

“Hm” - Nick responded non committedly

“Nick. Nick!!” - Imogen tried to catch his attention

Nick turned his head to her and apologized under his breath for not paying attention to what she had been saying.

Charlie is still talking to that girl. She’s tall, but not taller than him, with long brown hair that kind of reminds Imogen of Sahar… No! No more thinking about Sahar! That’s starting to become an actual problem.

They both logically know that Charlie is gay. And they don’t even know if she really is hitting on him! But it is true that Nick has found himself in similar incidents regularly: girls tend to hit on him and more than a guy has tried to (Imogen doesn’t blame them, after all, she was in the same position a couple of months ago), but Nick doesn’t let himself get affected. He never does. Things are different when it’s his boyfriend getting hit on though.

Nick excuses himself to go talk to Charlie, who doesn’t seem bothered by the girl that might be possibly hitting on him.

Imogen takes a sip of her drink.

The girl seems to be slowly dragging her hand against Charlie’s chest in a way that looks kind of awkward to Imogen.

This is going to be interesting…

Nick approaches Charlie and a small smile appears on his face, the one that always appears whenever he’s near his boyfriend.

He softly puts his hand around his boyfriend’s and leans down to whisper “hi” against his neck.

The girl doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo. Or maybe she just doesn’t care. She stops moving her hand but she doesn’t remove it from Charlie’s chest.

Imogen’s all for the gossip and drama but she’s starting to feel like this girl might be making Charlie feel seriously uncomfortable.

Imogen would die for Charlie. It’s not even funny. Ever since Nick introduced them to each other they’ve become very close friends, bonding over their shared love of literature. Imogen guesses that most people don’t pin her for someone bookish, but she’s always been a hopeless romantic, and that extends to her taste in books.

She can’t make out what is happening over the loud music and dancing bodies but she guesses that her best friend got his way, since the girl that was talking to Charlie is backing away. Imogen can’t make out her expression either but she relaxes after seeing Nick place his other hand reassuringly on Charlie’s shoulder, bringing him into a hug.

They seem to be talking about something. Charlie smirks and says something and seconds later their lips collide, as they have so many other times.

So many other times. Imogen loves Nick and Charlie, but sometimes it’s like there’s a magnetic force bringing them together. She momentarily thinks about going to find Tao to lovingly complain about their best friends being so cute together, but then she remembers that Tao is … unavailable - and so is Elle.

Imogen would give anything to protect Nick and Charlie. Both of them have been through enough, and she just wishes for them to end up happy and together.

She knows that Nick and Charlie are perfect for each other.

They’re endgame.

At least she thinks so.

~

Imogen is hit by a breeze coming from outside. People have been coming and leaving from Otis’ party all night (His parents won’t be pleased at all), opening and closing the door. Imogen leans forward to see who has come in but she can’t see anyone over the crowd of people.

She turns back to her place, leaning against the wall, taking in the party and her friends: Nick and Charlie (who’s loving kiss has turned into a full-on teenage make out), Tara (who’s talking to some girls in their year), Darcy and Christian (who seem to be betting on Sai’s ability to chug alcohol), Otis (looking absolutely desperate at the condition his friends and classmates have left his house in), Tao and Elle (looking disheveled), and…

Sahar.

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before heartstopper comes out and the fandom changes forever i just want to thank everyone for making this the best place on tumblr. like the osemanverse is such a secure and safe place and it’s an honour to be part of it. it really is the fandom equivalent to wrapping up warm by the fire with yankee candles burning in the background.

im just so grateful for all the memes that have made me laugh out loud in front of family members. im grateful for the tons upon tons of fanart from the small doodles we did in class to the big iconic fanart that no osemanverse fan hasn’t seen (eg the ark quarantine one). im grateful for the fanfiction we have even if it isn’t much (god bless the person who wrote that first heartstopper coffee shop au).

like i just can’t properly begin to explain how much this fandom means to me. i genuinely don’t know what id do without it. it’s just that no other fandom can compare. no other fandom has such wonderful headcanons. no other fandom has me waiting on tapas for 11am every ten days. ive never seen a fandom so friendly and discourse-less. and our inside jokes are peak. like mister? the supernatural fandom wishes it was us.

it’s honestly so scary with the threat of the fandom changing. tiktok is especially awful enough without new fans who haven’t even read the comic formulating their own distasteful and lowkey homophobic opinions. this place is such a security blanket and i don’t ever want it to be ruined. but i can’t dictate the newcomers so all i can really do is write this love letter to the fandom before im branded as a gatekeeper for missing the ‘old’ days (crazy how ive been here not even two years and yet i feel so ancient).

from the bottom of my heart, thank you. thank you for the best social media experience ever. thank you for keeping the spark lit for all the time ive been here. thank you to the creators and fanbies/girls/boys for making this so enjoyable. thank you for keeping me on my toes all this time. nothing but thank yous.

this isn’t even everything i have in my head but i don’t know how i can possibly put down all my thoughts. im just eternally thankful that i got heartstopper volume one as a birthday present that year. promise me we’ll do whatever we can to preserve the best things about this fandom after the show comes out.

and with that, i will meet you there under the stars.

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the fact that half of the people watching heartstopper have been crying obsessing over young royals for the last nine months and now we're all getting therapized by the sheer amount of queer joy in the show

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This scene lives in my head rent-free

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the only real difference between young royals and heartstopper is that young royals gave them intentionally gay sounding names

“nick nelson” okay then

“wilhelm of sweden” okay so he kisses boys then

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tao xu and elle argent starting to fall in love broke a very core part of my brain, because i have quite literally never seen representation on screen of this before. a straight boy falling in love with a trans girl, and being fiercely protective and caring and accepting of her; and a trans girl falling in love with said straight boy and laughing with and caring deeply about him too… I JUST ADORE THEM WITH MY WHOLE HEART

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nick nelson crying to his result of 62% of how gay he is was probably the best representation of queer culture i've ever seen

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you know when they change the t sometimes for [tumblr] on holidays well i think on good friday they should just nail jpeg jesus to it and see what everyone does about that