corpsske - Tumblr blog

[corpsske]

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

1 year... Wow.

[corpsske]

Зло може мати будь-яке обличчя. Будь-яке. Воно може бути у полі зору, а може бути поза ним. Зло може ховатися у прекрасному, а може і йти за руку з добром. Але зло є зло і коли його межі розмиваються - це його тріумф.

[corpsske]

Hamlet.

[corpsske]

My Mykolaiv after the terrorist attack on Kakhovka dam.

[corpsske]

Me trying to get my phone back from my parents' room in the morning

[corpsske]

Oh, I forgot to post this one...

70/90 or something... Yeah.

[corpsske]

Just shitpost.

[corpsske]

Finished this one and passed some exams pretty successfully

Yeah... Depression is over, but my university still exists 👺👺👺

[corpsske]

I'm working on my new painting... -s...... Because I just can't finish any of them haaaaaaaa 😩

Why ....

This one is not the first in a queue to be finished......... But anyway.

[corpsske]

Христос воскрес дорогі громадяни 🤡

Yeah, my almost 2 month depression eventually disappeared without any therapy. But it was pretty dangerous, I thought I'd do something stupid, but then gradually in 3-5 days all the symptoms just disappeared.... Wtf 🤡

[corpsske]

Feel better, wow...

But why everything is so fucking annoying?!

[corpsske]

I’m not sure why I exist when I find every single part of people alive ridiculously stressful

Making food? Stressful

Leaving the house? Stressful

Talking to people? Stressful

Doing things I should enjoy? Stressful because I’m either not doing them well enough or I should be doing something more productive with my time

[corpsske]

On 8th of May, russofascist gang of low-life terrorists killed Bogdan Mikhalaki - a 23yo violinist from Odesa region.

It hurts so much to see Ukraine's talented youth murdered by vulgar, criminal pieces of shit.

Don't forget Bogdan and his beautiful music. And don't forget Ukraine 🇺🇦

[corpsske]

Drinking two Monsters in a row, knowing that you have weak cardiovascular system (incl. hEarT), for selfharm and possible death

Result: anxious because of caffeine that you can actually die 🤡 and mood boost as if you took antidepressants

Wtf am I doing ahahhahah

[corpsske]

I'm totally unproductive now. But recently I could manage at least learning the language I need at courses. But now I can't do even that. I can't concentrate, can't think, can't analyze, I'm slow and stupid. Wtf... I come back at home and lie on my bed, text to my friend and sometimes draw something. I want to sleep. Not only physically, I just want to switch off myself. But I can do it only at night. All these people around are so irritating... Why? Idk.

I want nothing, I feel nothing and I wish I was nothing, just air.

[corpsske]

So... I still feel like shit, but today I managed to do some homework (I still have a mountain of it and it's only growing each day). Yesterday I felt super bad. Like... Idk, but it was shit. So this morning was also difficult. I wanted to sleep already during the morning language courses (I mean, oversleeping), so I drank a Red Bull immediately. And it really helped! It decreased obsessive thoughts and allowed me to concentrate at least somehow. But now the effect is over and I kinda fallllllll into my usual state again.

I also realized that I'm afraid of getting better. Why? I'm shit so I have to feel like it? Probably.

[corpsske]

Another day is over. Night is strange time. During the day I want to sleep, but already in bed I postpone the moment of meeting my thoughts by scrolling social media. I wish I had an ability to switch off myself when I wanted to... But would I turn myself on again then?.