cosmic-obsidian-poetry

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

Reincarnation 13.04.25

I kept telling myself

This was my last time around

My soul is old

I’m tired.

But when you died

I knew

I’d go around again

Just one more time

Just to spend one more

Life

With you.

-M.T

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

Soul Cat 13.04.25

It’s been 6 weeks

And I have had to learn

To live without you.

I still haven’t.

There are two versions of me.

The one who lived

Before you died.

And the one who exists

After you died.

I don’t think I will ever

Be the same.

It used to be just you and me.

Just a girl and her cat

Vs the world.

Now I’m just a girl

Who lost her cat.

I will always have a piece missing.

I will forever wish this never happened.

I will always be angry I didn’t have more time.

I will forever grieve the life you were meant to live.

It’s been 6 weeks and

I still don’t know how I am going to

Get through this life without you.

-M.T

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

Ben 09.09.24

Although we knew you could not stay

and we hold no bitterness

towards you for going

when you felt you had to,

you have missed so much.

We will always be grateful for the time we had. How grateful we were to

have you in our lives.

Even if it was cut years too short.

But you never got to meet our dog.

Watch the monstera you gave me grow.

You were so worried I’d let it die.

But it’s thriving.

You never got to see us get engaged.

You missed him turning 30.

And 31.

An age you will never grow older than.

We always think of you.

And always will.

With every camping trip we plan.

With any milestone we achieve.

The ones you were meant to be there to see.

We will always think of you.

And always will.

With every problem we face.

We turn to eachother and say

“Ben would have known what to do.”

Because you would have.

You always knew what to do.

We will save you a seat at our wedding.

We will forever grieve the memories

We were all meant to make.

The trips away.

The doofs before we got too old.

Upgrading the the 4x4s.

The chats until 4am next to a campfire.

Having beers in the back yard

over the bbq.

You would have been his best man.

But I know you would have been proud.

Of him. Your best friend.

Of the man he’s become.

Of the love we share.

Of all the memories we’ve made in your name.

And I think if you would have known.

Truely known.

The love you were leaving behind.

Maybe, just maybe

you would have stayed a little longer.

We would have held you a little tighter.

And we forgive you.

And We will never forget you.

We will always keep your memory alive

and tell every passing soul about you

that is willing to listen.

Your name will never leave this house.

- M.T

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

A Confession 16.07.24

I wanted to tell you,

I’ve been meaning to tell you

for a long time.

I wanted to tell you

that I love him.

I wanted to tell you that,

I see my future

in his eyes.

I wanted to tell you about him.

I could go on for hours

about the way he can somehow,

Somehow

make me feel like

I am more than enough

in this life.

That he would scour the earth

to find me

in every life time

that comes after this one.

I wanted to tell you how safe I feel.

How his hand on my lower back

sends a wave over my body that

feels like home.

I wanted to tell you

about our lives together.

How it is soft and slow.

Not unlike a Sunday morning,

everything is simple and you know

the next week is waiting around the corner,

but you do not care.

You just talk over sleepy eyes and coffee.

I do not wait for the next moment.

I am just happy to be in this one.

He makes me feel content.

Secure.

Happy.

I do not cry.

I think he has set a goal

for himself

to hear my laugh as often as he can.

I wanted to tell you

how proud he is to call me his.

How he sees the best in me

when most days I can only find

the worst.

He tries every day

to change my mind.

I want to tell you that

he is everything

I wished you to be.

But the universe must have known.

You couldn’t.

Maybe didn’t want to.

So it sent me him.

And he is

e v e r y t h i n g.

- M.T

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

Addict 04.07.24

I asked the universe,

pleaded with the divine,

to finally place us in the same space again.

Allow us

allow me

to see you again.

I wanted to prove to the universe,

prove to myself,

that I had finally moved on.

I wanted to tell you I’m finally happy.

And I am.

I’ve never been more content.

I wanted to tell you

we would have never worked out,

we would have never been happy

together

or content.

I would have never been enough.

But not unlike someone sober

for 2 years,

you were placed in front of me.

I saw your eyes.

That smile.

The way you looked at me

and all I wanted was just,

one more hit

another taste

Just a little bit

just one last time.

And the universe laughed,

shook its head

and said,

S i l l y g i r l.

- M.T

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

Closure 01.08.22

You and I

We were never made for closure.

For people like us

The rain just stops

Halfway through a thunder storm.

No warning

No dwindle

No sunshine moments before.

People like us

We are made for

Ripping the Band-Aid off

Biting the bullet

Shutting the book

Before we could even think of

Writing the last chapter.

Two ends of an unfinished story

Neither of us wanted to write.

No goodbyes

No last laughs

No ending scene

Just the empty pages staring back

Almost in pity.

Sometimes we don’t get to

hear the end

Sometimes we don’t get to

Ask why

For the thousandth time

Why?

There’s just only so many circles

Two people can talk themselves around

Without getting lost.

We were never made for closure

You and I.

-M.T

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

Things 20.07.22

Things would not have worked out between us anyway.

I tell myself

Every day,

every minute,

every thought of you.

I tell myself time could not have fixed this one. The wounds we left each other still run deep in my veins, and I act as if I am not the one digging at them, keeping them open.

I tell myself that the,

once a upon a time,

twin flame lovers delusion that I found myself in daily, was in fact,

just a delusion.

That there was no universal pull, no greater force, no god-like mystic above, that paved our lives before us so we could somewhere, somehow meet.

I tell myself every decision, action, left or right turn was nothing but unfortunate chance. And as much as I wouldn’t dream of taking any of it back or changing a single thing that lead me to you, I tell myself now that you were nothing but a lesson. The hardest pill I have ever had to swallow.

There is such a fine line between wanting to remember and letting go and I’m still yet to learn where that is. A constant battle between the two, a war zone inside my head on which I want and what is best. It’s never quiet here anymore.

I tell myself we are too different

We’d grown up

Grown apart

Life just works out like that sometimes.

Some things cannot be fixed and that’s something that I was forced to grasp when all I wanted was to let go.

But I have let go.

I’ve had to let go.

Things would not have worked out between us anyway,

I tell myself.

-M.T

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

Why does it still hurt so much

You would think after all these years

I would be used to the feeling by now

But I just can’t help thinking

“She should have been me”

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

"of course i remembered" is a love language

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

And I wonder if she looks at you

Like I did

I wonder if shes noticed

Your hands or

The freckle on your left earlobe

The way your hair parts down the middle

Even though you furiously try to push it back

Has she noticed your almond shaped eyes

How they resemble your mothers

And look like an ocean in the sun

Has she seen the bridge of your nose scrunch up

When you know you’ve said something cheeky

Or the mole on you lower right cheek

And how it looks like a tiny beauty mark

It sits right in your smile crease

Has she ever seen your face light up

When you talk about the things that you love

Or the way your voice shifts

When your body tenses up

I wonder if she has run her fingers up your spine

Like I have

And wondered how she was so lucky

Or if she’s traced your collarbones and shoulder blades and

Tried to memorise them like a map

As if you were going to leave

And would need to find her way back to you

You are the most beautiful creature I have

Ever had the privilege of meeting

And hope

She looks at you and

Sees that.

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

By differentleo

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

And I’ve had to live with the ache

In my chest

That is the absence

Of you

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

About Last Night

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

“fuck i’m so in love with you you can’t even imagine”

— (hatin)

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

Why her

And

Not me?

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

“You are, and always have been, my dream”

— Nicholas Sparks via - (hatin)