cosmicballet - Tumblr blog

cosmicballet · 3 months ago

Text

was dying of boredom at work so this fic alleviated that a bit so thank you so much for writing this!

i started watching red dwarf last week and i have fallen in love with rimmer. since i'm nonbinary i tend to read fics where the reader is at the very least gender neutral, but it's always hard to find fics that aren't for female readers, so thanks for giving me a rimmer fic where the reader is gender neutral. it means a lot.

anyway, things about me aside, this was really sweet! i love the rimmer/reader dynamic as you've written it and i'm a sucker for fics where a character gets injured and another character is beside themself with worry. i think you wrote rimmer really well, in a way that's tender but true to his character. great work!

-> when things go wrong

arnold rimmer x gn!reader

reader finds themself injured after falling through the floor of an abandoned starship, with only their hologram crewmate for company.

i'm so down bad for this stupid hologram i swear to god. also, this is post legion, so rimmer is a hard light hgram :)

"is this really a good idea?" you raised an eyebrow, hesitantly following dave and the cat through the narrow, decrepit hallways of the long-abandoned starship.

"relaaaax," dave drawled, kicking down a door. "we've done this plenty of times,"

"exactly, and besides, we're almost out of food, and if i have to eat krytens cooking one more time, i may have to eat one of you instead!" the cat mused, causing you to chuckle and shake your head at your ridiculous crewmates.

with kryten beside you, looking around curiously, you realised a member of your team was suspiciously absent.

arnold rimmer was trailing behind, unusually quiet. you slowed down, allowing kryten, dave and the cat to march onwards.

"you alright, arnie?" you asked softly, trying to meet his hazel eyes, which he was skilfully avoiding.

"fine. absolutely fine." his lips pursed, indicating he was, in fact, not fine, but rather very stressed indeed.

this didn't go unnoticed by you. recently, arnold had been acting very odd- less snarky comments, avoiding the crew, acting bashful. you considered him a friend, and his frank avoidance of you was starting to sting a little. unsure whether to bring this up now, you decided to carefully test the waters.

"you can talk to me, arnie, you've been a bit...weird lately, and-"

"me? acting weird? don't know what you mean!" he replied, a little too enthusiastically.

getting slightly frustrated by his avoidance, you decided to dig no further.

"suit yourself. but you better figure your stuff out, arnie. i'm almost starting to miss you." you smiled gently.

"hey, y/n! come check this out!" dave shouted from in front of you, and you turned quickly from arnold and jogged towards the others.

as you were jogging, the ship shifted groaned loudly. the floor suddenly felt very flimsy indeed, and before you could react, it dropped below your feet, one side dropping to create a ramp, which you found yourself tumbling down at great speed. you felt your head hit something hard and sharp, and everything promptly went dark.

"...y/n, y/n, wake up!"

drowsily, your eyes fluttered open, the face of arnold rimmer looking down at you, concern evident on his face. he was kneeling over you, and sat back as you sat up groggily, eyes adjusting to the darkness.

your head was pounding, you lifted a hand to touch it and was greeted with the warm feeling of blood trickling down your face. your left arm was also in considerable pain, and looking down, you saw it was very bruised with a deep gash from your elbow to your wrist.

"arn? what happened..?" you mumbled.

"th-the floor gave out, and you fell. we thought you'd...." he trailed off, voice shaking.

"hey," you breathed, reaching out to touch his arm softly. "i'm alive, i'm not going anywhere."

"i should be the one comforting you," he muttered, looking your injuries up and down with a face of worry. he looked around and found a piece of cloth from the abandoned starship, and shook it to get the dust off before gently leaning forward and dabbing the cut on your head.

it was a surprisingly intimate gesture, you felt your face grow warm. his hazel eyes met yours for a split second, before darting away.

"where are the others, anyway? and how did you get down here?" you asked, taking the cloth from him and continuing to dab it onto your wounds.

"they're trying to find a way to get you out. as for me, well...i'm a hologram, i can't die, so..."

"so you followed me down here?" you finished his sentence, feeling your heart flutter at the kind gesture.

"that'll leave a rather heroic scar." he gestured to the gash on your arm, changing the conversation topic quickly.

you were suddenly all too aware of the pain that was racing up through your arm and to your shoulder, and grimaced.

"y-yeah," you replied, suddenly feeling tears prick in your eyes from the pain.

arnold looked around once more and located another piece of abandoned fabric, and fashioned a bandage from it.

"this might sting a bit." he warned as he gently took your arm in shaking hands, and he began wrapping the wound. "there you go, love, you're doing great."

he appeared to say this without thinking, and immediately mumbled a quick "...s-sorry,"

"why now?" you began, "after weeks of avoiding me, why are you now being so nice?"

arnold was silent for a moment. "the thought of losing you scared me more than the thought of you rejecting me. cowardly, i know. only being brave enough to tell you when things nearly go wrong."

you smiled bashfully, before taking his hand in yours. "let's get dinner, arnie. when we're back on the dwarf."

arnold squeezed your hand, his face bright despite the darkness of your environment.

"i'd like that." he beamed. you smiled again, before leaning into him, determined to both be close to him and rest your aching body. darkness consumed you once more, from sleep or loss of consciousness you couldn't be sure. all you knew was arnold was holding you steadily, one of his hands stroking your arm, providing you with more comfort you ever knew was possible.

you spent 4 unconscious days in the med bay, under kryten's watchful eye, with dave and the cat visiting once or twice. arnold, however, stayed next to your bed the entire time. according to kryten, he didn't leave once. he read you stories from his old books, showed you mind numbing documentaries, kept you company. and apparently he didn't complain, not once.

today was the day you left the med bay, and arnold wasted no time at all taking you to dinner. when he picked you up from your quarters, after giving you some time to get ready, he looked stunned.

"you...you look beautiful, y/n."

dinner was a wonderful affair, you talked and laughed like you'd been on thousands of dates before.

after, he took you stargazing on a nearby planet.

"thanks for staying with me, arnie. kryten told me you didn't leave once."

arnold smiled softly. "i couldn't leave you."

"i'm glad things are okay between us again. or rather, i'm glad things are....what they are, between us." you said, avoiding using any labels just yet.

"as am i."

you lie in silence for a few moments, looking up at the stars.

"can i kiss you?"

you turned to him, noticing his nervous expression. you leant forward and pressed your lips to his, and you felt his hand reach up and hold your face gently. you pulled away, giggling upon seeig arnold's cherry-red face.

"you can kiss me any time, arnie."

#arnold rimmer #red dwarf

52 notes · View notes

cosmicballet · 1 year ago

Text

Venom or Roses

Negan x Trans-male reader

Okay! Here you go! I hope this is enjoyable! Thank you so much for the request my love. Lost of swearing and some adult situations, so be advised. (It's Negan after all.)

Masterlist

You had just finished a three day stint at the northwest outpost. Walking into Sanctuary, you felt the immediate relief hit you. Yeah it was kind of a shit hole with assholes and morons running around, but it was your shit hole. Surprisingly, you did well here. After proving you thought quick on your feet, followed orders to a T, and could snipe a walker at one hundred meters, you quickly rose up the ranks. Which you would've never expected looking back at your life before all this. Now you're one of the most trusted generals at Negan's command and rumored favorite of the fear inducing leader. But that was something you wouldn't bring yourself to believe. Negan made everyone feel like they were his favorite. All just part of his intimidating powers of persuasion, so you never let it go to your head. Just doing your job and getting the occasional good job was good enough for you, as you had learned very early on that the less waves you made the better.

You hauled your tired body up the many flights of stupid fucking stairs in the factory to the conference room that Negan had told you to report to after your return. An odd request for the boss to want you to debrief to him directly when you usually would do so to Dwight or Simon. The order had your stomach slowly twisting into knots for the last three days and made it difficult to think about anything else. You knew things didn't bode well for those around here that had to have special visits to the man. You did shit right. Never stole, always paid your dues and would never undermine Negan...on the other hand, your stomach did get butterflies when you talked to him. But that shit couldn't be helped. He was handsome and smart and charismatic as a mother fucker. You were sure everyone here would spread if the man asked, and you wouldn't blame them. You'd thought about a time or two but you were not interested in being some ...husband.

You took a breath and straightened your clothes before knocking. Almost instantly he called from inside. "Come." Was all he said and it didn't help you determine his mood. You squared your shoulders and entered the conference room, hoping for the best. Well..at least hoping there wasn't an iron waiting for your face.

He was alone, sitting at the head of the table with Lucille in his hands. He was polishing and cleaning her with that mild amused expression he usually wore, that leather jacket and fresh white shirt he was wearing always did shit to you and you tried to to show it.

Okay, good. No audience was always a good thing. Meant no show in bashing in brains or melting faces. "Ah..y/n..just who I wanted to fucking see. Come on, come in. Shut the door." He smiled, but the order to shut the door sent a small chill down your spine. Even though he was your fearless leader, even though you were all Negan...the thought of being in an enclosed space alone with him was a lot. But you did as you were told and shut the door, moving to stand near to him and awaiting to see what he wanted with you.

"There's my favorite fucking soldier." He cooed with a grin that could stop your heart. "I wanted you to- fuck, don't stand there, you're making me antsy. Sit down." He said with stern look even though the smirk still played at his lips. He pointed to the seat expectantly, and of course you quickly obliged, taking the seat next to him that was usually reserved for Simon. After you were seated, his relaxed demeanor returned along with his smirk.

"I wanted to see how our little outpost was doing? Are our boys away from home happy and compliant?" He asked, his eyes on Lucille as dabbed and cleaned at nothing. This of course confused you slightly as the outpost was always good. An obvious question that he already knew the answer to.

"Yes, the supplies we gathered from the Kingdom made it safe and were distributed. No incidents to speak of." You nodded and tried not to fidget in your seat with nerves.

That only made Negan scoff and roll his eyes. "No incidents to speak of.." he repeated with a sigh. "You do know you don't have to fucking talk like a cop around me, right? I'm not HR, so loosen up a bit for fucks sake." He said with a lazy grin.

You couldn't stand the suspense. The foreboding feeling of what the fuck is going on, that buzzed too loud, so you took a breath and straightened up in your seat.

"I just... I usually would report this kind of shit to Dwight...so, I feel like this is a different kind of visit." You tried to work out as politely as possible. "Sir." You added for good measure. That seemed to delight him, and he took several agonizingly long seconds to look you over. You knew he enjoyed the squirm. Watching people get uncomfortable and scared, and fuck, it worked. You'd seen people crumble just from a look. He slid his tongue across his teeth before pulling his gaze away from you long enough to set Lucille aside.

"Okay." He sighed, seeing that he wasnt going to be able to play with his food before he ate it. "You've always been a smart one. An excellent soldier for me. You follow fucking orders, you get shit done, never had a thought to undermine or try and screw over any of these stupid fucks around here. And Sanctuary thanks you. I thank you, and what's been chapping my exceedingly handsome ass lately, is.." he paused to look you over. "That I have given you countless perks and privileges that you don't take. Goddamn refuse, even. Now..that really hurts my little fucking feelers here, y/n."

It took you a second to get what this was about. He was mad that you didn't take him up on free pussy and alcohol? Shit... You blinked at the man for a moment, happy that this wasn't a face branding session but utterly confused why this would piss him off.

"I...um..like the booze and wives?" You asked, making sure that's what he was on about.

"My goodwill...being thrown back at my fucking face." He corrected, giving you a stern look. You quickly stiffened under his gaze and hoped you already hadn't gotten yourself into more trouble.

"Well..I-I just...I'm not really a drinker...a-and I'm not really...attracted to the...ladies. Well not a lot of the time." you tried to explain as nicely as you could. Really that was basically true...but also you were trying to keep the people who knew you were trans to a minimum. Didn't really need that type of publicity in a place like this.

Negan's eyes squinted as he tried to believe what you were saying. "Y/n? You're telling me you prefer dick?" He asked, like it was no big deal, but you could feel your face heating up. Jesus why did you have to be talking about this with him. His big stupid handsome face just a few feet from you with that stupid sexy smirk.

You licked your lips nervously and nodded, but quickly followed it with a shrug. "Well u-usually. Well I mean the guys here are kinda gross so n-not these guys...I mean I like girls too, I just..I'm not...I haven't really been l-looking.."

Negan's amusement grew with each rambling word that fell out of your mouth until the smile on his face was too much too look at. You shut your mouth and turned your head with a scoff, feeling stupid. You could still hear the man click his tongue and shift in his seat.

"Aw look at you!" He said with delight, and you could feel an almost overwhelming feeling of embarrassment wash over you. "This whole fucking time, you're walking around here all big and bad, swinging those big balls of yours...and you can't even talk about pussy and dick? It's so goddamn adorable I might just shed a tear." He sighed wistfully, placing a hand over his heart. You bit your lip and tried to recover what little dignity you had. Showing weakness around this place would only get you killed, and you didn't want to lose face with your boss. You squared your jaw and looked the man in his ridiculously gorgeous brown eyes.

"I'm just not interested unless it's grade A. Not worth my time to go fucking the trash." You said defiantly, and you knew you were pushing it. You've seen what happens to guys who get lippy but you weren't going to sit there and be a bitch either.

"Ooooh...look at you." He cooed, leaning in closer to you. Oh shit...you fucked up. Face branding. "Seems like my good little soldier has some bite after all." He was grinning..but you could never tell what was behind it. Could be venom, could be roses. You sat, waiting to see which one you'd be getting.

He leaned in even closer into your personal space, his face now only a few inches away from yours and you felt your heart race. The mix of danger and the urge to smash your lips into his was proving almost too much to handle. "Well...looks like I owe you an apology. Seems like I haven't been offering the right fucking privileges... have I?" He murmured, his eyes scanning over your face. You didn't know what to say...all you could do was flick your eyes from his to his mouth, your body prickling with anticipation for fucking something, anything to happen.

"You want grade A? Well shit...all you had to do was ask, pretty boy." He purred, and flashed you the most brilliant smile you had ever seen. You didn't know what it felt like to have a heart attack, but you were fucking positive you were having one right now. Some kind of fight or flight kicked in and a tremendous amount of fuck it flooded your system. You closed the tiny gap between you and crashed your lips into his, but to your surprise, Negan didn't miss a beat. He was instantly kissing you, a hand already grabbing at your neck possessively. Aggressively. Taking control so fast, you didn't have anything to do but let him take you.

The roughness of his stubble paired well with the velvet of his tongue that slid across your own, and you knew in these few seconds, no other kiss could or would hold a candle to this one right now. You were so ready to get into this man's bed after all these years of pining for him, your whole body was buzzing to let him do whatever the fuck he wanted. But you didn't want the lack of dick he was expecting to get in the way of whatever he had planned for you. You didnt want the shock and rejection.. You pulled back, hating yourself for it and was not surprised to see a quizzical Negan looking back at you. "You...changing your mind?" He asked, the frustration seeping through in his tone.

You quickly shook your head and took a breath. "No, fuck no." You reassured with a small grin. "I'm so fucking down...I just. Im..trans. So...just that. Just..didn't want it to be a surprise." You said with a small laugh and as brave a face as you could muster. You hoped for the best but prepared yourself for the worst. Negan, however, looked at you truly surprised but almost delightfully so. He looked you up and down and tilted his head. "No shit? Really?" He asked and you could only nod under his gaze. "Well ho-ly shit. ...huh." He grinned, seemingly to get lost in thought for a moment as took you in. He slid his tongue across his teeth and looked like he was going to eat you for dinner, before coming back to reality.

"Alright..cool. Let's go fuck already." He said with a boyish grin that instantly put you at ease. You let out a laugh and stole a quick peck to those lips you never wanted off of you.

"Let's go fuck already."

#twd #twd negan

181 notes · View notes

cosmicballet · 1 year ago

Text

That Smile

Negan x TransMale!Reader (GN pronouns)

Synopsis: Negan offers some very Negan-esque support when he discovers that the Reader has had to deal with some transphobic issues at the Sanctuary.

CW: transphobia, no slurs used, Negan being very Negan, Negan being suggestive (as per usual), no pronouns used for the Reader though it is specified that they are trans male.

Requests are: OPEN

“Oh, fuck,” Negan says, looking almost like he’s about to panic. Which is decidedly not a common occurrence for him. “Shit, handsome- I didn’t mean it. I was just breaking your balls a little bit.”

You might have made a mistake here. Of all the people you could have screamed at- the leader of the Sanctuary was probably not the smartest choice. Oh, but you just couldn’t help it.

Not everyone stared, and not everyone was rude. There was pockets of kindness here and there- people who understood who you were and respected you for who you were.

As always, though, there were people who did not understand. People who looked at you weird or avoided you in the market. Negan had set out rules for basic respect, but that didn’t stop the occasional hate-speech or threat. It was the end of the world, after all, not Utopia.

“You have no idea what this is like, Negan,” you say with a sneer. He sets his jaw but doesn’t reply, letting you vent. “Every day someone makes a comment just loud enough that I can hear, or someone shoves into my shoulder. Or, hell, just the other day- someone called me something that was… absolutely vile.”

You point an accusatory finger at the man, whose gaze is getting darker with anger by the second.

“And you!” You start to raise your voice, and Negan’s lips twitch as if he’s trying not to grin. “You let it happen. And I am so sick of everyone’s fucking shit!”

Negan rubs a gloved hand over his chin, chuckling darkly as he does so.

“You done, gorgeous?” He asks, or tells, really. There’s no room for argument with the way he unclenches his jaw. “Because I have something to say, and you? You are gonna listen.”

Negan places Lucille carefully leaned against the table before rounding it to stand before you. You swallow thickly, not sure where this is going, but not sure you like it either.

“I need you,” he says slowly while raising a finger to brush your temple softly. “To cast your big ‘ol brain back a few days and really think about what I’m about to ask you.”

You stumble over a few attempts at speech before he shushes you softly.

“The fuckhead that broke the rules? Called you something he really shouldn’t have…” His eyes flit between yours, lips spreading out into a grin that would send molten heat through a celibacy-practicing nun. “...when did you see him last?”

You let out a little ‘uh’ sound, trying to order your brain to stop tumbling around and work out the answer. It had been three days since the slur, and… now that you were really thinking about it. You hadn’t seen him since. Usually he was always lurking around to get another shot in.

The realisation must have shown on your face, because Negan let out a throaty chuckle.

“See? Now you’re gettin’ it,” he says, leaning back against the table and crossing his arms. “Now, I know you wouldn’t want me killing anyone, so, don’t worry. He’s not dead.” You bit back the sarcastic comment that threatened to spill out.

Negan runs his tongue over his bottom lip as if savouring something very sweet. Your eyes track the movement, and you know he knows it.

“But that doesn’t mean he’s having a good time, either.”

“What did you, uh, do to him?” You ask, voice breathy with desire. No one had defended you quite like this before. And if you didn’t know any better, you’d think Negan was flirting with you just to make a point.

But it had been like this for months. Negan putting on all the charm when you were around, and doing his damndest to get you to open up to him. He didn’t care that you were trans, he liked you for you.

You liked him too, of course. How could you not? Big strapping man with big dick energy, a leather jacket and a phallic bat? What wasn’t to love?

“Oh, you know,” he chuckled. “Threw him the hole for a few days. Shit, I think he’s still in there.”

You stifled a smile, knowing that the asshole was now suffering for his crimes. Well, shit- turns out Negan did give a shit about your rights. It was almost like he was an active protestor for Trans Rights. The thought made you laugh.

“I’ll have to make a trip down there to see if he’s learned his lesson yet.”

This time you can’t bite back the smile, and he draws out an appreciative noise.

“Oh, there he is,” he brushes your chin with his thumb. “There’s that handsome smile. Fuck, you really turn me on, you know that?”

Your grin splits wider and blood rises to your cheeks.

“I’m serious!” He defends himself. “My dick is so hard right now- I could cut diamonds.”

You role your eyes at his theatrics, but he knows that you enjoy his crude comments. He knows you want him. His gaze softens for a moment, and the sincerity you see there almost makes you melt.

“No more hiding things from me,” he says. “Something happens- someone breaks the rules? You come find me.” Negan lets out a huff of a sigh, caressing your jaw now.

“Can’t have my handsome man upset, can we? I just live for that smile.”

You don’t even notice the grin spreading across your lips this time.

“Yeah, that’s the one…”

#twd #twd negan

225 notes · View notes

cosmicballet · 1 year ago

Note

Hear me out on this one, negan with a transmasc s/o and he grinds his bat against them

My Two Favorite's

A/N: PLEAASE, I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SINCE YOU SENT IT LMAOO (Also, I LOVE your pfp. I love Dewey sm 🫶)

Warnings: Negan(he is a warning let's be fr), Object grinding(?), Fingering, brief spanking, Punishing, uhh body dysmorphia, if I missed anything lmk, it's like 3am here. Negan also may be ooc idk. Enjoyy:))

Pairing: Negan Smith x Transmasc!Reader

REQUEST INFO || TWD MASTERLIST

God he could be such an ass.

Negan was a lot to work with and everyone knew it. Even the people within the compound, who dropped to their knees out of "respect" knew that he was a pain. You knew the respect was mostly fear, though. Everyone knew that much.

He had picked you up towards the beginning of all of this. Offering you a safe haven. Sanctuary. You were on your own, fighting and running daily, so of course. You trusted him, and truthfully, you still did.

Even though he did some mighty questionable, and some would even say cruel things. You trusted him with your life. He never gave you a reason to doubt him or believe that he would harm you. He would put himself between you and the line of fire any day, and you knew it. You were his weakness. His rock.

"You wanna talk back now?" He quipped, following you into your room. Though he offered to share his room with you, you requested to keep your own. You still carried this fear of getting too attached to the man. That one day he might not betray you, but he might leave. Not by his choice, but the choice of the cruel world that you both lived in. He wasn't exactly liked by many.

You huffed as he continued to follow you into the bedroom. Throwing your hands up in exasperation. "I just don't understand why you keep me trapped in here!" You snapped, and he tutted. You couldn't bring yourself to look at him. You just knew that stupid smirk was on his face. "And what exactly are you even trying to leave for, Mister? You got everything you could ever need here, where it's safe." You hated how much he cared about you sometimes. Other times, it'd make you smile and your stomach would tingle with that feeling you swore you'd never feel again after the apocalypse hit.

The sigh that left your nostrils made him raise his brows. The angrier you got, the thinner the ice you treaded on became. Negan wasn't exactly a guy you wanted to piss off and you knew that. "I just want to leave," He opened his mouth, but your eyes that met his were quick to ridden his fear of you leaving for good. "Not forever, I can't leave here, and you know it." That he did, you had nowhere else to go. Unless you decided to live in one of the communities that they 'owned'. "I'm just tired of being locked up. I feel like I'm in a prison and you're forcing me to be here because for some fucking reason you care about me." You snapped, and he nodded, his eyes darting over your face with the look in his eyes that you despised.

"Will you stop looking at me like that?" You asked, and he furrowed his brow, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Like what?" "Like you actually care." His smile was quick to fade at your words. Expression looking a little offended at what you said. "The hell is that supposed to mean? Why in God's name would I not care about you?" He asked, and you felt a tinge of guilt shoot through you. In the years that you had been with him, you still hadn't accepted the fact that he does care about you. Stepping backward as he approached you with heavy steps.

"You know what? No, you can't leave. Not when you think I don't give two damns about you." He snarled, one hand reaching out to point and poke at the center of your chest right below your collarbone. His other hand gripping Lucille with a force that turned his knuckles white. "You act like we haven't been fighting together for years. Like I don't pass up women and men who offer me a hell of a night because I fucking care about you. I don't know how many goddamn times I have to tell you that too!" He exclaimed, his nostrils flaring. You wanted to feel bad, but your eyes only narrowed on him with a huff of your own.

"Oh! Sorry, I'm your biggest cock block of the century!" He narrowed his eyes at your statement. "That's not what I was sayin' and you know it," "Go fuck yourself, Negan." You spat, and that was the man's final straw. "You watch your tone with me, boy." He barked, and you flinched. He'd never raised his voice like that with you. You should have known it'd be coming one of these days.

In the beginning, Negan was so gentle and careful with you. He'd give you space when you needed it, all while keeping his eyes on you at all times. Making sure his men and women were treating you well. He'd talk with you, make you smile, and laugh. He'd treat you kindly and respect you. Even in these dark times, he was a beacon of light. A man that actually respected your chosen pronouns - despite what you were "supposed to be". Any of the Saviors that would misgender you, or call you slurs, he'd take care of them personally.

Negan was always so kind to you. If his sarcasm was too much he'd do his best to tone it down with you, or at least let you know when he was joking with a simple "that was a joke, by the way." He wanted nothing more than for you to let him in, but you were so stubborn. He could tell that even before the apocalypse you weren't an easy-trusting person, yet he respected that. You shouldn't trust people, even though he wished you would trust him.

Recently, though. It was getting harder and harder for you both. Negan was fighting with keeping his two current communities together - The Kingdom and Hilltop. He was too busy leading and you were too busy pulling away from him, which pissed him off to no extent. He wanted you to understand that he loved you, he really did.

Negan was staring down at you, and you coward - just the slightest. Watching as his chest heaved and his eyes burnt holes into you. "You ever speak to me like that again, I'll make you wish you never did." He snarled, and you felt your chest tighten with panic and anxiety. Like maybe you stepped on his toes too many times over the years and your attempts at keeping yourself safe from his inevitable fall only pushed him away from you. It wasn't until this that you finally realized how much you missed that stupidly obnoxious smile of his.

"Negan," you frowned, and he shook his head. "You've tried me too much over the past few months. I am done being nice to you," he stated, but he didn't move, and that almost scared you more than what he was saying to you. "I'm sorry," you muttered, and he nodded. "You better fucking be." He snarled, and you nodded back. Your head dipping down. Noticing how white his knuckles were around his bat, still.

What you were doing now was risky as hell. One wrong move and that bat could very well cave in your skull, but you still, through thick, trusted him. You reached for his hand, fingers brushing over his knuckles and it made him flinch. The man inhaled sharply before his eyes flicked down to your hand. He wanted to reach out and grab you. Pull you against him and show you just how much he cared for you while also reminding you who ran the show here, but he didn't move. Not yet, anyway.

Negans eyes watched as you grabbed his fist. His muscles relaxed under your touch, but it didn't stop the anger that coursed his veins. It wasn't until you looked up at him that he felt those emotions slowly dissipate. Maybe he was being too harsh on you, maybe he needed to give you space. "I care about you too, you know." He raised his brows a little at the confession. A nearly unnoticeable reaction that told so many emotions in the man's eyes. He just never assumed that he would hear you admit such a thing. Especially not after he yelled at you.

"I'm sorry I was pushing you away. I just get scared. I was getting so close with you and," You chewed on your bottom lip, and he nodded. "I get it," he told you, and your eyes bounced between his. "I pushed you, I wasn't here, you probably think I'm dead anytime we show up late to the compound," he told you, reaching up to brush his knuckles over your jaw, and you nodded with a soft chuckle. "Yeah, unfortunately, I do." He smiled, "Well, I'm not dead, and even if the apocalypse wasn't amongst us, I could be killed by anything. A car, a rabid dog, lightning," he chuckled, and you let yourself smile. Just a little, but it was enough for him.

He was silent again for a moment before he leaned forward a little more. "I want you to trust me," He spoke, his voice low. It was just for you to hear. His eyes scanned yours for any sign of discomfort. "Do you trust me?" He asked, and you nodded. "I have since you found me," he smiled at that confession. His obnoxious grin graced his lips that showed off his stupidly perfect teeth. "Now, that's what I wanna hear." And you knew everything you said went straight to his head.

He leaned in a little more, but you didn't move. Only watched as his smile faded just a little, and he set Lucille on the table beside you. One hand held your waist while the other cupped the side of your face. Can I kiss you? is the look you read in his eyes, and you nodded. Even if he didn't ask the question out loud, you practically knew what he was thinking. That small nod was all the taller man needed before he was leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips.

You had expected the kiss to be rough at first, but it wasn't. He was slow, making sure not to scare you off. It wasn't until you grabbed his waist with one of your own hands and the other snaked through the hair on the back of his head that he deepened it and got more hungry with it. Lips pressed firmly against yours until you were each practically kissing with your teeth. He's wanted this for so long and he wasn't about to stop with just a kiss. As long as you were okay with it all.

He pushed you forward towards the bed in your room with a groan. The backs of your legs came in contact with the piece of furniture, buckling from the contact and he was quick to push you down onto the mattress. Giving you a few longing kisses before pulling away from you. "Gonna go shut the door, no need having anyone see us," he told you with a cheesy grin. Dipping back down to kiss your stomach before turning back for the door.

His steps were quick, and you could tell how excited he was that this was finally happening. It made you smile a little knowing he's waited for you for so long. If anything, it had you more excited about the situation at hand. You wanted to take your shirt off, but that familiar feeling of insecurity rose up the back of your neck when you remembered the world fell to shit before you could exactly get top surgery. Or bottom. You were in a body that you hated, and you didn't tell Negan, but it was partially the reason why you didn't want to exactly pursue a relationship with him.

He was quick to distract you with his voice, though. Eyes drifted up to meet his when he stood in front of you. "You still trust me, handsome?" He asked, and that simple word had some of those insecurities dwindling. "Of course I do," you hummed with a smile, scooting further up the bed and he smiled back. "Good, I'll go easy on you," He bellowed, "But you got some learning to do after yelling at me like that earlier." He told you, and you felt your stomach churn at his loose threat. Swallowing thickly when you noticed the bat that he carried everywhere with him was in his right hand. Covered in barbed wire that you knew would sting if you so much as pricked your finger on it.

"Lay down," he ordered and you did as told. Even if your eyes watched that bat with a fearful gaze. He noticed it and only smiled. "Don't you worry, baby. I won't hurt ya, I promise." He told you, leaning down to press another kiss to your lips that eased your worries away. "Have I ever hurt ya?" He asked, and you shook your head just as quickly as he asked the question. A soft 'no' fell from your lips which only made him smile back. "Exactly, ain't starting now either," He hummed, leaning down to kiss the shell of your ear, a hand resting on your stomach. "Unless you want me to," he growled into your ear and you felt yourself shudder.

Before you could answer him he was positioning himself to the side of you. One hand parted your thighs while the other brought Lucille between your legs. He watched what he was doing carefully, but his smug smile didn't fade from his face once. "God, you both are so beautiful, so handsome, you know that?" He asked, and you opened your mouth to ask what he was doing, but your lips fell shut. Worried he might punish you further for asking questions.

You gasped when he brought the base of Lucille to your clothed mound. Gasping through parted lips while gripping the sheets. Sighing when his lips kissed your throat. "You gonna tell me to go fuck myself again?" He asked, and you had half a mind to say you might, but he pressed the bat against you in a way that had you hissing. Your brows furrowed as the man ground the object against you in a steady motion. "Answer when spoken to," he said against your throat, feeling his facial hair burn at your skin and you couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like between your thighs.

"No, no I won't," you muttered with a shaky breath as he rubbed you just right. "Good boy," he cooed, and you felt your skin prick at his words. "You wanna thank Lucille? She's making you feel good too," he purred, and when you didn't answer he bit at your shoulder. "Thank you, Lu-Lucille," you blurted, and he let out another breathy chuckle against your throat. "Good," he purred, nudging your jaw with his nose. "Now, my gorgeous, gorgeous boy. Tell me what you want."

It felt like he was slowly stripping you from your dignity. Pursing your lips when you thought about protesting, but the way he was pressing that stupid bat against you had your body aching for something more. "I want your hands to touch me, that stupid-" you let out a hiss when he pressed the base of the bat against you rather roughly. "Instead of Lucille. I want to feel your hands against my skin, Negan," you breathed out, and you'd never seen him look so smug.

The man gently reached over to lean Lucille against the wall and he was hovering over you in an instant. "You're doing so good," he praised, and you felt your body ache at his words. You haven't heard praise in what felt like forever. Sure, he's praised you as you worked, but this felt oh so different. More intimate and meaningful.

His hands went to the bottom of your shirt, but when your own came to stop his, he looked up at you with a look that you'd never seen before. "I told you, I won't hurt you. Physically or emotionally, you can trust me on that."He told you, and you nodded, pulling your hands back in order for him to pull your shirt over your head. Looking at the bandages that bound your chest. Frowning at how tightly wound they looked on your body. "Honey," his voice was sweet, "We're gonna have to find you something safer than these bandages." He told you, leaning down to kiss your sternum and you felt your eyes prick with tears. You've never had anyone offer to help you feel comfortable in your own skin, and it had your heart yearning.

You grabbed his head and pulled him up for a kiss. The man smiling when you did so. He loved how needy you seemed right now. He'd never seen you like this. Your walls were still up, but a door was unlocked just for Negan. The leader was able to open it and enter into the fortress that you built yourself to hide away in for God only knows how long.

He didn't dare touch the bandages. His fingers ran over the top and bottom of them gently, in order to show that he cared. Plus, to look at the angry marks that dug into your skin and made his heartache. He knows this is how you've been binding your chest since the beginning, and maybe even longer. He wanted to ask if you sleep like that, if you ever give yourself a break from the tightly wound bandages, but he didn't. That was a conversation for another time.

His lips came to meet your own in a tender and passionate kiss. As if to tell you with his lips that he was there to show you a good time. He wanted you to enjoy this just as much as he did. Even if he was going to tease the hell out of you for that mini outburst earlier. He simply can't let that slide. Though, in a way, he was. He would do so much worse to anyone that wasn't you. He wouldn't be kissing and fucking them good. He'd probably be picking out a spot for them on that chain-linked fence that wrapped around the compound.

He grumbled while your hands reached up to move his leather jacket over his shoulders. Negan shrugged them so the jacket would slide off easier. Before tossing it to the side with a hum. His own hands were dancing along your skin. Calloused fingertips brushing against the soft skin of your stomach, hips, the skin of your arms, and your collar bone. One hand finally wrapping around your throat. His thumb felt your pulse, and how it sped up when he pressed a little harder. "Neg'," you moaned into his mouth, and he ate that noise up like candy. Pulling back in order to look at you with that wolfish smirk.

That's what he was. A wolf. He was always thirsty for blood and violence. The leader of his pack of other vicious and mangey wolves. You were simply a little lost lamb that he brought in. He liked to think that he had you wrapped around his finger, but everyone, even deep down himself. They all knew you were the one who had the big bad wolf wrapped around your little finger. He'd kneel for you out of respect if you truly asked him to. He'd do a lot for you if you asked. He trusted you more than anyone in this compound, and he hoped one day you would realize that.

"Can I take your pants off?" He asked, and you knew he was just trying to be sweet and not scare you after the whole shirt situation, but you couldn't help and roll your eyes at the way he said it. He asked so bluntly, so Negan.

"Only if you take your shirt off."

He smiled fondly at your words and did as told. Reaching behind himself to grab the thin and worn fabric before pulling it over his head. Noticing how quick your eyes were to lock on the muscles of his shoulders, then to his chest, and down to the hairs that littered down his stomach into his pants. He was so gorgeous, really. His body told stories without words. Tattoos that you wondered if they all had meaning behind them; or none at all. The scars that were scattered along his chest, arms, and stomach were new and old. They told his character. How strong he really was and the struggles he's seemed to go through his whole life.

You watched closely as his muscles flinched when you reached out to touch a bigger scar on his side. Your eyes darted up to meet his, and he had a warning look in his eyes. Watching your next moves cautiously and carefully. He trusted you though, and you could tell.

The pads of your fingers brushed over it, feathery light. The man smiled faintly when you leaned forward to press a soft kiss over it. Allowing his eyes to flutter shut with a small hum. "Don't get too sappy on me," he grumbled, and you chuckled, licking up his left pectoral to his collar bone and the groan he released was heavenly. "Who said I was a sap?" You asked, biting down on his shoulder just like he did yours early. Both of you marked one another with your teeth and it had him ecstatic.

He pushed you back down on the bed, flipping your body over so you were now on your stomach. His hands reached down for your pants, hooking his fingers under the hem of the clothing while kissing your shoulders. One on the left, then one on the right. "May I?" He asked, and you nodded, raising your ass a little which had his chest vibrating with a laugh.

He pulled your pants down, quickly. Your underwear coming with them which made you gasp at the feeling of cool air on you. "God, you're such a pretty boy, you know that? So handsome, all for me." He snickered, kissing the back of your thigh before sucking. Leaving a violet mark behind. The sight making him grumble as he left a few more marks on your thighs. A large palm resting on your ass.

You weren't sure what to expect, but it definitely wasn't your body sliding over the mattress. Your lower half now on his lap. "Now, for that tone of voice you used with me earlier," he spoke, a smile curling at his lips when you looked over your shoulder. "Negan," you tried to plead and he shook his head. His large hand kneaded at the flesh. His other hand reached to undo his belt while unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. "Another peep out of you, and I walk out that door. Got it?" He asked, and you nodded. You knew he would, too. He wasn't one to throw around loose threats.

He raised his hand up and brought it down with a loud 'slap' against your skin. A hiss leaves your throat at the sensation. Burying your face in the bed with a wince. "What do you have to say?" He asked, and you didn't answer. "Answer when spoken to," he growled out, reaching over to grab the front of your throat, squeezing lightly. "Thought you said not to talk?" He slapped your ass again. Harder than before, and you lurched forward with a groan. "I'm sorry!" You shouted, and he grinned. "That's what I thought." He hummed with a light chuckle.

He kneaded at the flesh of your ass again. Humming while thinking. "Now," he stared, parting your thighs. "If you behave well, be a good boy for me, I'll fuck you no strings attached."He told you, reaching between your legs to press two thick fingers between your folds. "If you don't," He pressed a finger inside you, the other rubbing over your clit. Watching how you writhed beneath his touch. "I draw this out and well, you don't get anything out of it and I simply leave. Understand?" He asked, and you nodded, "I understand," he smiled, curling his finger inside you before pulling his hand away. Shifting in order to put you back on your back on bed.

Negan stood in front of the bed, pulling his jeans and boxers off before climbing back between your legs. "Now, repeat after me," he hummed. "Negan, I will not talk to you like that ever again. I will do as I am told, and if I leave the compound I will be sure to tell you and have either you or someone else go along." You muttered the words back to him, and he shook his head with a tut, grabbing your jaw with strong fingers. His dark eyes scanning yours with a grin. "A little louder, my prince," he toyed, and you glared a little at the nickname. If it weren't how you ached for him you would have cursed him out. "Negan," you spoke, and he tilted his head, listening as you said the rest of the spiel. "That's better," he told you, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. "Now how about we reward you for that."

Negan pushed your legs apart with a hum. Two of his fingers pressing inside of you which had you tensing. "Fuck, Negan," you moaned, and he chuckled, kissing your jaw with a sigh. "God, you're gonna feel absolutely delicious." He told you with a snicker.

He said a few more words for you to repeat back to him. Finally, rewarding you by removing his fingers and positioning himself with your entrance. He stared at you for a moment. A look in his eyes that had you a little worried. Wondering if maybe he was regretting this. A wave of insecurities rushing over yourself. What if he didn't want you? He just wanted the idea of you. You were already so exposed, you'd have to leave if he just stopped. Join one of the other communities and never look at Negan again.

"You do trust me, right?" The concern that dripped from his voice caught you off guard. Your eyes racing to his as he stared back at you. He looked almost scared, and that scared you. You've never seen him lower his own walls. It was like you were seeing inside him and all you could do was offer him a smile. Reaching out to wrap your arms around his neck to pull him close. "Negan," he waited for you to continue. His eyes begging you to carry on. "If I didn't trust you I wouldn't be here right now. I would have left the night you brought me here. I trust you more than I would like to admit," He told you, leaning forward to brush your lips against his. Negan leaning forward to lock his lips with yours. Pushing you back into the bed before finally pushing himself within you.

He was right, too. You did feel absolutely Devine. He held you like this for a while. Feeling as your body tensed from the intrusion. Your hand tugged at his hair while the other clawed at his back. He didn't break from the kiss, though. He needed to kiss you. To eat you up. He could if you would only let him.

Once you rolled your hips he was sure to be steady as his hips rolled against you. Working his way up to a slower pace until he was confident enough to start snapping his hips against your own. Each snap of his hips had you grabbing harder, and harder at him. His hands were grabbing at your hips with a force that you were sure would leave two hand shaped bruises.

He truly screwed you like he meant it. He's wanted this since the moment he laid eyes on you, and the fact that he waited for this long drove him crazy. His hips moved faster the faster your breathing got. Listening to every noise that indicated he was doing something right. his hands pleasuring you just as much as your body pleasured him.

He never truly thought he would ever get to have sex with you. With how reserved and closed off you always were. Anytime you flirted back with him that was enough to settle his wandering mind, but it was never enough. He wanted you to be his, and now he had you. Or at least he hoped this wasn't just a one-time thing. Honestly, if you never wanted to have sex again he wouldn't care. So long as he could call you his. If you didn't want that, he'd try his best to push the hurt feelings aside and accept it, though. He hoped you wanted something between the two of you to grow. The way you looked at him gave him at least an ounce of hope for a future with you.

"Negan," you cried, and he nodded his head. "Let go for me, baby," he panted into your ear, and you nodded. Kissing and then burying your face into his shoulder. Letting out a cry of his name while your orgasm took the reins. Your hips rolling to meet his thrusts.

Once you fell limp, Negan was quick to thrust faster within you. Chasing his own high while he panted and muttered sweet nothings into your ear. It wasn't until his hips started staggering that he pulled out of you. His hand taking over the action of stimulation before he came onto your stomach. Stroking out his orgasm with a loud grumble that erupted from his chest. His eyebrows knitted tightly together.

He fell onto the bed beside you. His chest heaving with yours. The both of you lying there in silence. His eyes were shut, but his smile was still there. "I could hit that smile off your face," you muttered without even realizing it, and he raised his brows. Eyes still shut. "Getting mouthy again already?" you cursed yourself in your head. "No, it's just how I admire, you cocky bastard," you sighed out, leaning over to press a kiss to his shoulder. Watching the way his smile grew toothy at the small action and the banter. "God, that mouth of yours," he sighed with a throaty chuckle. "If I didn't know any better, you want me to go harder on you next time." He spoke, opening one eye to peak over with a smirk.

Next time. You smiled softly at the thought of doing this again with him. "Well," you leaned up, looking at the mess on your stomach with a sigh which he looked at as well. "Only if you ain't as goddamn messy." He snickered lightly, sitting up to kiss your cheek with a dramatic 'Mwah' sound. "Anything for you, baby boy."

#twd #twd negan

144 notes · View notes

cosmicballet · 1 year ago

Note

I don't know if you've been asked but can you make a eugene porter fanfic? it's rare to see his fanfics and if you want you can smut thanks for your attention

Not yet thank you for the first one! It is especially on here but on AO3 there a good amount (I've read all of them lol) <3

Eugene Porter x GN!Reader

Summary: After a one night stand you wake up to Eugene confessing his love and showing how much he loves you.

Warnings: Love Confession, Smut, Fluff, Established Relationship

Minors do not interact!

------------------

Breathing the first breath of the day as the sun shines on your face. Stiffing in bed, you find a warm body next to you. You move your arms to touch what or who is behind you.

"Good morning" a groggy but nervous voice specks behind you. You turn to see Eugene looking embarrassed and tired, his hair going in different directions with some resting on the pillow his head was lying on.

You smile. "Good morning, handsome," you respond with a compliment, "I forgot you were here; I thought you'd leave after last night." Your hand tightens around the blanket that has been wrapped around your chest. The memories filled your head, burning your cheeks at the thought of him on top of you.

"I know how the one-night stands go. I didn't intend for this to be one night. I-" "I really like you" Watching his words leave his mouth, his cheeks burn a light pink as he meets your eyes. A big smile spreads across your face before you waste no time kissing his lips. His hands find their way back to your body as they did last night.

Kissing Eugene, you could tell he had no experience, but you loved how he was rough but gentle at the same time, as if he was debating with himself if he was being too rough or too gentle. He was perfect, and he didn't even know it.

Your eyes closed, you paid close attention to where his hands were as you let your hand travel down. Breaking the kiss was a soft moan coming from both of you as both of your hands were touching each other. "Show me how much you like me, " you moaned out as the tip of his two fingers played with your entrance.

He moved quickly to be atop of you, kissing and feeding your desire for him. Moans mix with your kiss as he fingers your pussy. His fingers are slowly moving inside you, curving up as he messages the wet wall around them. As much as your brain was being scrambled by his fingers, you couldn't help yourself but to start stroking his now hard cock.

He moans, echoing out into the room as he breaks the kiss; his head rests into the crook of your neck. "Please," he begs as you hold his hand tighter, stroking it faster. You feel his fingers leave you as he takes your hand away before entering into you. Your wet walls letting him in again from last night. His cock was, as you remember, not too big, but just perfect for hitting every section that ached. Eugene moans into your ear.

The sound of his roughness made you all hot and bothered, even though he did nothing to tease you. "Y/N" His whimpers turned into groans as his thrusts got rougher. He moves to look into your eyes. Your moans filled the room, and you made sure he knew how good he made you feel.

He couldn't help himself. He moved to sucking and teasing your nipples as he pounded into you. His thrust slowed, so he could hear your whines and moans. Furthermore, he used one hand to tease your other nipple while his mouth sucked and flicked it with his tongue. As your moans get louder and sloppier, so do his thrusts, every thrust making sure to barley itself deeper and deeper.

Your stomach swirled inside as you hit your high with him. He moans and grunts as he kisses you. His cum spills into you, his hands caressing your body, trying to be gentle, knowing that he can think right. You feared that he thought it had hurt you. You broke the kiss as a loud of knock came from the bedroom door. "You alright in there?" You hear Daryl yelling from the other side.

You laugh out loud and sigh as he falls next to you, resting after his high. "Yeah, Daryl!" you yell back before turning to Eugene. "I love you," you say, moving his hair out of his face before giving him a kiss on the lips. You sit up and get dressed for the day.

———————————————————————————

Hello, I hope you enjoyed if there is and grammar mistakes or misspellings sorry about that feel free to let me know in the comments, have a great day/afternoon/night!

#twd #eugene porter #gn reader

178 notes · View notes

cosmicballet · 1 year ago

Text

Important

Daryl Dixon x Ftm Reader

Prison Era, Daryl discovers the reader is trans. Nice and fluffy, as is my specialty! Requested by Anon. I hope you like it! Please let me know if you enjoyed this, if you have any requests, or anything else! Thank you for reading, have a great day!! (Sorry for any errors, I type too fast and I have no beta lol)

Masterlist

The air was thick with heat and humidity, so much so it almost felt like you could drink it. Instead of feeling miserable, you had a small bubble of excitement in your stomach. Maybe more hope than excitement. This tiny pharmacy was practically untouched. And while you couldn't believe how, you were going to take it.

It had been almost two months since your last dose of Testosterone, and you were mortified at the thought of never finding any more to take. You knew the supply would dry up someday, but you'd be damned if you were going to let it be this day.

You, Michonne, and Daryl were sent out to find anymore meds and you leapt at the chance. Of course to help out the prison that was your new home, but also to discretely get any T that you could find. Also... there was Daryl. He was a rough redneck who probably hated everyone's guts, but you just couldn't stop crushing on him. So all in all, this could be a very productive run.

After the area was cleared and the go ahead was issued, you three went to task, splitting off in different directions with a grumbled order to "Keep yer eyes open." from Daryl. He gave you a nod and for some reason, a lingered look before he left which left you feeling a little warm in the cheeks. You didn't know if he noticed your lingering eyes or your constant tagging along, but any attention you got from him, you ate up.

You scoured for the things on your list that Hershel gave you, also taking extra time to try and spot any of your meds. You were finding plenty on the list, which was good, but no sign of any Testosterone. You were beginning to feel completely discouraged when you finally spotted them. Perched at the very top of a shelf in a cardboard display box was four vials. Thank G-d. You let out a laugh of relief and slung your backpack behind you and tried to reach, but it was far too high. You sighed and looked around for a chair or stool, but there was none to be found. So...shit, you guessed you'd have to climb. You put your weight carefully on the bottom shelf to test it, and it seemed like was pretty sturdy. So with renewed hoped stepped fully onto the shelf and could just graze your fingers against the box, effectively pushing it further out of your reach. You cursed, stepping your foot up onto the next shelf. You stood up tall again and finally got a hold of your prize. You quickly took the vials from the box, grabbing two of the four, when there was a sound.

A loud groaning. Walkers? No, it was cleared. Before you could even begin to think about what it could be, you were moving. No falling. The last thought you had before the large wooden shelf crashed ontop of you was...."Shit."

You woke up, and the first thing you noticed was how the lights hurt your eyes. Candle lights. You groaned and shifted your head to get away from the lights, but the motion caused your head to hurt worse. You moved your hand to investigate your throbbing head, only to be stopped by a hand on your wrist.

"Nah, don't. Ya got stitches." A voice grumbled softly. You let your hand get guided away while you tried to figure...anything out.

"Wha...where am I?" You asked with a whisper, mouth thick and eyes closed to the offending light.

"Back at the prison." He said simply.

You heard some shuffling, and soon there was what you recognized as a canteen pressed against your lips. You were ridiculously thirsty all of sudden and you gratefully opened your mouth. You drank, and the canteen was taken away before you had your fill.

"Slow down. Take yer time." The voice said again. It was familiar, and soothing and made you feel safe.

Daryl.

You pried your eyes open to confirm, and yes, the man was there at your bed side.

"Wha...what happened?" You asked, your senses coming back to you, along with a creeping feeling of embarrassment.

"Shelf tipped over on ya. Busted yer head open. Me an' Michonne got you back to the car and back here." He said softly, careful not to hurt your head anymore than he had to.

"I...shit, I'm sorry, I-."

"Yeah, you fucked up. Almost lost all those meds tryin' to get you back." Daryl said simply again, and you felt a pang of foolishness prickle in your stomach. God you didn't want to have messed everything up, and worse, to have Daryl pissed off at you.

"What is this?" He asked, and put a cold small thing in your hand. You brought it up to your straining eyes, and focused. It was the Testosterone. Your stomach dropped completely and you wanted to run away from Daryl if you could.

"Huh?" He pushed again when you didn't answer.

"I-I...it's...Testosterone..." you said meekly. God you wished he would just go away.

"That wasn't on no list. So why the hell ya almost get us kill for it?" He asked, irritation evident in his voice.

Your fuzzy brain scrambled to find an excuse, a lie, anything you could use to avoid telling him the truth...but they just wouldn't come. Your eyes began to water and you hated Daryl in this moment for making you say.

"Because...I.. g-d, because I need it." You stammered, but Daryl still pressed you.

"Why?" He asked firmly. You broke, the long kept secret you had held for years was being pried out of you by the only man you'd felt safe around since all this shit was started.

"Because I'm trans, Daryl!" You huffed, your raised voice killing your head. "Because with out it I'll go back to the way I was...and...and I can't fucking do that!" You gritted out before finally breaking. You cried, hot tears spilling out of your eyes and you felt so damn embarrassed. Infront of him of all people? It felt so stupid. "I know you don't give a shit...just..leave me alone." You whimpered, turning your head away.

There was a long time of just silence when you had expected him to just leave, or worse keep yelling at you. But there was nothing for what seemed like forever, until you felt something touch your face, making you flinch. It was Daryl's bandana he used as a handkerchief. You could tell because it smelled so much like him and motor oil and grass. He was wiping your face, gently and carefully, and it was far from what you expected but it immediately calmed you down. He cleaned off your face and there was another long silence.

"I don't know ..a lot about it, but..if that shits important, then we'll figure it out. I'll keep a look out for anymore when we go on runs." He murmured, his tone much softer than before. He tucked the bandana back into his pocket. "Cause... yer important." He said, barely above a whisper, and if you hadn't have been so close you could have missed it.

You scoffed once you heard it and shook your head, even if it hurt.

"No way...I'm an idiot that almost got everyone killed." You murmured, still feeling guilty. He only laughed a short laugh, but you had never heard the man laugh before now, and you loved it.

"That's true. But...yer an important idiot." He grinned ever so lightly, and even with the barb inside, the compliment made you feel elated. You could have almost forgotten bout the throbbing pain in your head. But when you thought it couldn't get any better, he grabbed your hand, thumbing over the top of yours for just a few seconds before bashfully removing it just a quick. You were shocked, to say the least, but happily so.

"Guess I have to keep an eye out on your stupid ass." He grumbled with fake annoyance. "Make sure ya don't do anymore stupid shit."

You smirked, with new found confidence from him and gave a tired smile. "You can keep an eye on my ass anytime, Dixon." You said, feeling bold. He scoffed and turned his head, and even in the blurry candlelight, you could see him flush. That was it, right there. You were never going to let this man get too far from you.

"I liked ya better when ya were sleepin'." He teased, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"Creep." You murmured fondly, while infact, you were sliding back into sleep.

"Shut up an' rest." He said firmly, but quickly followed it with a much softer tone. "I'll be here..I ain't goin nowhere." He promised. You let yourself slip back into sleep with his promise settling your mind. The last thing you felt before your slumber was his hand back over yours, a calloused thumb rubbing it softly.

#twd #daryl dixon #trans

349 notes · View notes

cosmicballet · 1 year ago

Text

Love You No Matter What

Daryl Dixon x Transmasc!Reader

Warnings: Slight angst, dysphoria, unsafe binding methods, mentions of transphobia? Reader being insecure, horribly written southern accent, ooc daryl? sorry this is kinda bad

Sorry about this being kinda rushed I just had the idea and wanted to wright smth self indulgent.

The hot Georgia sun beamed down onto the broad shoulders of the man next to you, beads of sweat forming on the flexing muscles of Daryl's arms. Your eyes unfocusing from the fence of a pigpen you two were working on guiding to admire him, they trailed up from his arms to the collar of his worn tank top. The fraying seams giving way to his neck and the edges of his unruly dark hair, all the way up to his stormy eyes.

Slightly shaking your head, you tried to concentrate on the task and hand to get out of this heat as soon as possible, and not on the captivating sight of your boyfriend.

You had harbored feelings for the southern man since the second he pulled you away from a herd of walkers at the quarry camp. He had felt the same way, enthralled by the way your eyes caught the sun rays like stained glass, the small scars that littered you like the words on a novel and, he could have gone on forever, but he would never admit out loud. It hasn't been till the fall of the CDC that you both truly realized your feelings for each other were mutual. From that point on you had an unspoken bond, not a label, it didn't matter in the apocalypse, but you were together, a packaged deal. After sleepless nights on the road, the scare of his brush with death at the farm and whispered conversations in your shared cell in the prison walls, you and Daryl were nothing if not in love. Yet out here in the striking heat of the prison courtyard, a spike of pain from your ribs right under the tightly wound bandages of your chest was a stark reminder of the one thing you were too scared to divulge to the man who knew everything about you.

The fence finally completed, rose to his feet, offering on hand to help you and your accompanying tools up with him.

"Y'all right there?" his southern drawls laced with a hint of worry and you wobbled a bit on your feet.

"It's nothin', just lost my balance a bit" you smiled at him, a bit of a laugh in your voice as you saw the way his bangs stuck to his sweat covered forehead in a heart pattern.

"Good, can't have yeh' gettin sick out here cus of some bastard sun" He placed the tools into his own hands and you two trudged up the hill the cold prison walls. Just imagining the cool stone and water that waited for you there was putting a pep in your step.

Entering your shared cell you flop onto the bed, arms stretched above your head to relieve some of the pressure on your shoulders after the day's work as the taller man beside you goes to lay next to you. Even though you love him with all your heart you still throw the pillow at his face.

“Shower first dirt man”

He shoots you a mock offended look before giving you a kiss anyway, and heading on his way to the showers.

“The things i do for you” You can hear his slightly annoyed tone under his breath as he leaves and you smile.

Now alone in the makeshift room that is the prison cell you close the curtain in front of the barred doors as some sort of privacy. Peeling your shirt off slowly the bandages you had been using since the beginning of the end wound tightly around your chest where now revealed. Angry red marks peaked from tier edges as you tried your best to ignore their stinging. Untying the knot of the bandage gingerly you began to unwrap the cloth, each time relieving a bit of the pressure on your ribs but increasing that feeling of dysphoria uneasiness that settled in your stomach. It was slow, each layer of bandages painstakingly unraveling into your hands. Too focused on the task at hand the heavy footsteps growing closer in the prison hallway reminded you of the unknown to you, until the jerk of the curtain being pulled aside brought you back into reality. Holding the portion of unraveled cloth close to your still bound chess you stared into Daryl’s eyes like a deer in headlights.

His dark hair still dripping slightly onto his threadbare tank top, his eyes raked over you in worry, quickly approaching you even as you began to startle back, there was slight anger in his gaze as well, scaring you even more than he had startled you.

“Y/n wha’ happened” His voice was stern with the slight hint of fear he had used anytime you were injured.

“Did this happen on the last run? We gotta get you to Dr. S” He again walked over to reach for you, not understanding the way you slightly cowered with your arms firmly gripping your upper torso.

“Daryl I'm not, I'm not hurt it ok, dont worry Im fine '' The words stumbled out of your mouth with a tint of fear and uncertainty you'd never used with him.

“You got bandaged coverin half your body can you expect me not to’think your hurt!” His tone raised slightly and you knew he was worried, but you couldn't tell him, you didn't know how.

Your eyes started to wet as you sunk to the floor, you were strong, you always were, but with this it felt like a hit to the back of your knees. You could almost feel the hesitation and concern on his face when he knelt down next to you.

Daryl was never good at comforting people, but seeing you on the verge of tears he was trying his best. Your body stiffened slightly when one of his strong arms wrapped around your back, but you melted into his touch quickly as his rough voice spoke with a softness barely anyone had heard.

“S’alright sweetheart, m’sorry for yellin” Your brain almost couldnt for the words to tell him it wasn't his fault, he had done nothing.

“D, it isn't that” Your voice wavered in the conversation you were starting.

“I really ain't hurt, it's just..” Trailing off your words got caught in your throat, it was almost petrifying. You knew Daryl, you knew he was accepting, that he would do anything for you, but that fear of rejection’s grip was tight on your heart. The confused tone in his voice was evident as he ushered you to go on.

“I wasn't born like you,

like a man”

The words escaped your throat, strangled and painful, shaking at the thought that this could be it, he wouldn't be ok with it, it would be the end of everything you've fought so hard to build together.

“Oh sweetheart” His voice was softer than you anticipated, his calloused hand holding your face up with a touch gentler than a down pillow. Your teary eyes met his stormy blue ones and you could almost see every emotion, every unsend word, every feeling he held onto behind them. Your faces close, he sounded almost like a whisper.

“That ain't stoppin’ me from loving yeah” You could have died happy right there, tears breaching the border of your eyelashes and flowing down your face, your lips formed into a smile, it was ok, he was ok with it, he's not mad.

Daryl's gaze turned to worry at your sudden crying but your hands not matching his own on your face you lips met. The closest you could have been to your hearts being connected the kiss was soft and passionate and you couldn't have thought of a better outcome.

Fun fact of the post:I just got a super cute hellokitty airpod case (^-^)

#twd #daryl dixon #trans

82 notes · View notes

cosmicballet · 1 year ago

Text

TWD x Reader Blippit

WTD x FTM!Reader, you’re friends with Rick and here’s just some bs that you’ve experienced in your life during the apocalypse.

Tags: Blood, gore, non-sexual nudity, hugs, Negan bickering with you, platonic Rick Grimes x reader

Word count: 1,943

Keep reading

#twd #the walking dead #rick grimes #platonic #trans

73 notes · View notes

cosmicballet · 1 year ago

Text

ORLANDO (FIRST KISS)

- charlie, your best friend, attempts to set you up with the crush he is convinced you have. (charlie dalton x gn!reader, includes some neil being a good friend, slight angst into fluff, happy au, no beta we die like real men)

word count: 2,646

a/n - i love charlie so much oh my god 😭 hopefully there’s more to come with him! i’m planning a very long fic for him, hopefully similar in feeling to my neil fic “the last time” :) this is slightly inspired by the song “orlando” by leith ross so pls check them out!!

It’s 1:32 AM on a Friday night (Saturday, technically, but that rarely seems to matter), and Charlie Dalton is refusing to let you sleep.

“You’ve got to tell me. I swear, cross my heart, I won’t tell a soul.” He begs.

Charlie has been your best friend for god knows how long. You met so long ago that you don’t even remember how or why; it just was. That’s exactly what your relationship is. There’s really no rhyme or reason, considering you would detest anyone else with his personality, but you’re friends anyways, and you love him with all your heart. Opposites attract, you suppose. You don’t know why. Most days, including today, he is extremely and desperately annoying.

You slump down onto his bed, covering your eyes with your hands. He’s gotten it into his mind that you have a crush, and he won’t rest until he finds out who it is. Lucky you.

“Charlie, it’s no one.” You groan, peeking past your fingers to stare at him with a cross expression. “Even if I did like someone, I wouldn’t tell you.”

The problem is, you do like someone, and he’s sitting right in front of you with messy hair and pajama pants.

Your feelings for him, just like your meeting, are so far buried in the past that you couldn’t dig them up with an excavator. One day, you suppose, you just started to fall in love with him. He’s annoying and rich and a total smart-ass, but you love him. In some soft, quiet ways, he is the kindest boy you’ve ever met.

He notices when you get cut off mid-conversation or when you’re just a little too uncomfortable to talk to the person in front of you. He knows you like the back of his hand and puts his knowledge to use without ever having to ask, like how he always gets you exactly what you want on your birthday. He’s smart and energized and a breath of fresh air, no matter how stale the room is. And, of course, though you would rarely tell him, he is dashingly handsome.

He sits up straighter and begins listing every boy you’ve ever come in contact with. “Meeks? You always did like his type. Ooh, or Pitts? He’s a pitiful lady-killer. Todd is another good choice. Knox has got his thing with Chris, so you probably wouldn’t like him unless you’re into getting your heart broken.” He stops his ranting to take a breath, then continues on. “You cannot like Cameron because if you do, I won’t ever talk to you again. It isn’t Cameron, right?”

You scoff. “I don’t have a crush. Stop trying to guess a person that doesn’t exist.”

“Neil?” He questions. You hesitate just a bit before waving away his suggestion. Neil is a very good friend of both yours and his, and truthfully, he would definitely be the best boyfriend out of all of them. Despite that, you do not love him like you love Charlie. Not even close.

He catches on to your hesitation with scary accuracy. The tilt of your head, the twitch of your hand, the way the corners of your mouth almost curved up into a smile. Charlie feels his heart drop. “Oh my god, it’s Neil. Of course it’s Neil, it’s always Neil! You like Neil.” Neil is, unbeknownst to him, a complete catch. It makes sense that you would like him. After all, he’s kind, outgoing, and a whole lot nicer than Charlie is. That doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Like you, Charlie doesn’t exactly know when you came into his life. Maybe a stuffy dinner party or a prep event- all that matters to him is that you’re here now, and he loves you. He does, however, know when he started loving you.

It was seventh grade at a school dance, and you had decided to go with a boy he barely knew. When the boy asked you out with a pocketed rose and a shy smile, Charlie felt his blood boiling. How dare he, he thought, take you away from him? You’re his best friend. He would have bought you an entire flower shop had you said the word.

Seeing you waltz with him in your pretty outfit, as awkward and stiff as you both were, was too much for him to bear. Charlie left early, prompting you to follow him. The scene that resulted was one you both tried heavily to erase.

“Charlie, what’s wrong?” You panted, hurrying after him as fast as your pinchy shoes would allow. “Charlie. Charlie! Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing. Just go away.” He sniffled. You turned the corner to see him sitting on a curb, tears tracking down his face. If you knew one thing about Charlie Dalton, it was that he hated crying. You sat down next to him, but he turned to face the trees to his left.

“What happened?” You asked gently. How he despised your gentle care.

“I hate you. Go away.” His voice broke in the middle of his sentence. “I never want to see you again.”

Something in you snapped in that moment, something angry and sad all at once. He was hurting, and you loathed it, but Charlie always got what he wanted in the end.

You stood up and left, muttering a “sorry” over your shoulder.

He tried to avoid you for a while after that, but as with all fated things, he couldn’t stay away for long. He went back to you without a hint of apology, and you took him. Begrudgingly, you just couldn’t be without your best friend for very long.

He knew he loved you then, and that fact hasn’t changed in the present.

“I don’t like Neil.” You insist. “Trust me.”

Charlie stands to pace around his room, talking with his hands as per usual. “Y’know, you always seem smiley around him. I should’ve seen it coming, really. The way you talk to him can’t be platonic.” You sigh from the bed, and Charlie flops down beside you. You can feel the heat radiating from his skin. It’s pleasant, like a ray of sun on a cold day. You instinctively move closer to him as he opens his mouth. “I could probably get you a date with him. Not that you couldn’t do it yourself, but,” he pauses, a hint of hurt humor in his eyes, “I could be your wingman.”

He doesn’t want to be. He really doesn’t want to be, but what can he do? He would rather see you happy with Neil than miserable with no one. Despite how much he hates it, he’s gotten over most of his prepubescent jealousy. He knows deep down in the very achingly sad part of him that you don’t love him. At least, not the way he loves you.

You’re facing him, your nose inches away from his chest as your heart pounds in yours. He really wants you to get with Neil. Well, if that’s how he feels, you don’t feel the need to reject the offer. Maybe this is just the thing you need. What’s the point in pining after him when he’s actively trying to set you up with his second best friend?

“Yeah. That… I would like that.” Charlie’s heart crumbles in his chest.

“Then I’ll get right on it.” He grins. Behind the smile, sadness is swimming in his eyes, but you don’t bother to look at them.

It’s winter break, one of Charlie’s favorite times of the year, but he doesn’t think he’s ever felt this sad before.

By the time the next weekend rolled around, you had almost forgotten about Charlie’s proposed setup. But, on this Saturday when you’re cozy in your room, Neil comes knocking at your door.

You open the door, slightly surprised. He’s holding a bouquet of flowers with a small grin on his face. They’re your favorite flowers.

“Hi.” He says. His voice is breathless.

You raise your eyebrows, but for some reason, you can’t help but smile. Neil is standing in your doorway, and you feel like you know what he’s going to ask. “Hey.”

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” He implores, holding the bouquet out for you to take. “It doesn’t have to be right now, but… I’m ready if you are.” He’s dressed in a crisp suit, and if you’re being honest, you’d hate to make him go home without putting it to use.

You laugh lightly, the feeling bubbling out of your stomach. “Yeah, I’d love that. Just let me get ready and I’ll be out in ten minutes.”

Two days prior to Saturday, Charlie proposed a dead poets town trip. They were milling around, bouncing from shop to shop before Charlie clasped Neil on the shoulder.

“What do you think about Y/N?”

Neil turned, confused. “What do you mean?”

There was a smirk on Charlie’s face, but he hesitated like he didn’t actually want to say the words he was about to say. “I mean, I think you two would be a pretty cute couple.”

Neil let out a huff of air, almost in disbelief. “You’ve been in love with them since seventh grade, Nuwanda. Don’t try to act like you aren’t.”

Charlie gasped exaggeratedly and put a hand over his heart. “How dare you suggest that! I just want the best for my dearest friends.” The others laughed. Every single one of them knew that Charlie harbored deep feelings for you- and every single one of them knew he would never admit it. “Look, just one date. Ask them out on Saturday. They really like you, and I know they’re free, so they can’t pull any excuses.”

“I just don’t know.” Neil admitted. “They’re great and all, but I’d feel bad if I stole away your crush of four years.”

“You won’t be stealing anything, my boy. Just think about it.” Charlie knew he was lying, and it left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he also knew that somehow, he was making the right decision.

Like all of your romantic endeavors, your date with Neil is slightly awkward. He’s your friend, sure, but you’ve never really thought about him like this before. You never even considered dating him. It’s always been Charlie. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to broaden your horizons.

After the initial tension, you would like to believe it went well. Neil walks you out of the restaurant, holding your arm. He’s smiling, and you feel your own expression falter. You like him, you really do, but some part of you knows that he will never be Charlie.

He leans closer to you, almost close enough to touch. Your heart pounds in your chest as he whispers something into your ear. “Don’t look, but Charlie’s watching. Pretend I’m kissing you.”

You’re taken aback as your eyes try to search for his brown hair, but after a second, you comply. You shut your eyes and thread your fingers through Neil’s. To anyone else, especially anyone inside of the restaurant, it looks like you’re smashing tongues with him.

Neil walks you home as the day fades into night, and as much as you ask, your questions are left unanswered with a sly wink.

“I can’t believe you would do that.” Charlie rages. “It was meant to be a date, not a date and a tongue fuck! That was their first kiss, Neil, and you’ve stripped them of it!” He doesn’t know why he’s so outrageously enraged. It was a quick kiss from the boy you’ve been crushing on. He should be overjoyed for you.

“It wasn’t like that, Charlie. Just ask them.” Neil is surprisingly calm, considering his friend is screaming at him. “Ask them. Go on.” He pushes Charlie’s shoulder. “I walked them home.”

Charlie grumbles, his gut twisted into shaking, angry knots. “I will. If they tell me you did anything weird, though, you’re dead.” Neil shakes his head.

“I think you’d kill me even if I didn’t kiss them.”

For the second time, you hear a knock at your door. This one is loud and frenzied, but through the haze, you can tell who it is. Who else would knock so harshly at 11:23 at night? It’s a good four hours after your date, so it definitely can’t be Neil.

You open the door, clad in pajamas and a frown. “Seriously, Charlie? You’re gonna wake the whole neighborhood.”

“Did he kiss you?” Ah, straight to the point. He’s never one to beat around the bush.

“What’s it to you?” You defend. “You didn’t care about that possibility when you wanted me to date him.” You cross your arms. Why the hell is he so upset? You don’t understand anything about this. His motives, his feelings, right now, they’re more confusing than he’s ever been. Well, save for one night. Oddly, this reminds you of that dance a few years back. You don’t want that to happen again, so whatever’s going on has to stop.

He opens his mouth and then closes it like he’s actually considering what he wants to say for the first time in his life. “I just…” A defeated expression tugs his face down. Your heart plummets. You rarely ever see him crestfallen. The last time was four years ago, and you had hoped you would never see him like that again.

He turns to walk away. He can’t do it, he just can’t. He’s walking so fast the pavement under his feet is a blur, and you chase after him.

“Charlie, what are you-“ He turns, seeing the confusion on your face.

When he looks at you, all Charlie can see is love. He loves your voice, the curve of your lips, the way you do anything and everything. In that moment, when he sees you with tired eyes, his inhibitions flee like rabbits from a wolf. Maybe, just maybe, he can.

Before you can ask, yet after you see the fire in his eyes, he grabs your arm and cuts you off.

“Can I kiss you?”

You’re taken aback for a moment, lips parted, not speaking a word. His hair is messy and the tear tracks on his cheeks glisten in the street lights. It’s like everything you’ve ever wanted has sprung to life before your eyes. “Yes, but-“

He presses his lips to yours, effectively cutting off any further communication once again. His grip on you softens as his hands reach up to cup your face. Your eyes flutter shut, and a million different things race through your mind. All you can consciously think is that you never want it to end.

When he pulls away, breathless, something new is shining in his eyes. “I hope that wasn’t bad for a second kiss.” He smiles. He’s still worried, more so than he’s ever been, but that was the most amazing thing he thinks he’s ever done.

“Second? Charlie, that was my first.”

He pauses. “So Neil didn’t kiss you?”

You laugh, and upon seeing his even more excited face, you laugh so hard you double over. He joins, and your giggles are probably too loud for how late it is. “No! God no, he told me to pretend because you were watching.” Your voice comes out humorous and strained, with so much joy behind the tone that Charlie can feel himself starting to laugh again. “Were- Were you in the restaurant for our whole date?”

“Yeah.” He chokes out. “I couldn’t just let the love of my life date some other guy without my knowledge, right?”

“Oh, totally. Maybe you should ask me out next time, then, to completely avoid this whole scenario.” He pulls you in, laughing against your shoulder.

“Sure. Yeah, I think I will. Next time, I’ll make sure of it.”

#dead poets society #charlie dalton

2K notes · View notes

cosmicballet · 1 year ago

Text

a new dating sim catches your eye and asmo is absolutely 100% not jealous at all.

a date with death | asmodeus x gn!reader

cw: sfw (slightly suggestive towards the end). pet names (asmo calls reader darling, sunshine). vague spoilers for parts of the game (up to day five). silly fluff and jealousy over 2d characters.

word count: 1.2k words

a/n: I really like this game (a date with death) btw, I definitely recommend it.

"I tried that new game you've been playing."

Asmo's comment catches you off-guard and your eyes slowly blink open. You were on the verge of sleep, warm and content with his chest pressed against your back and his arm draped loosely over your waist. The words are muffled slightly against your shoulder, his lips leaving a sticky trail from the hydrating mask he smoothed over them as part of his nightly skincare routine.

You've been playing a new dating sim lately. You knew Asmo peered at the monitor over your shoulder to see what you were up to, but he didn't seem all that interested. He didn't give any indication that he wanted to play it himself, either.

It's not the first romance-based game you've played in the Devildom and he never cared before. He thinks it's cute when you find a character that appeals to you. Sometimes he watches you play through the stories, or he'll listen with a smile while you talk about the game later.

When you offered to play other games with him in the past, he insisted that was Levi's area of expertise. That didn't prevent him from finding his own ways to enjoy your hobby with you though. He preferred to indulge you with a little bit of roleplay instead: parading around his room dressed like your favourite characters, imitating their speech patterns and mannerisms to sweep you off your feet, and seducing you as if they had come to life.

(Later, he seduced you properly as himself because no one can ever love you as much as he does).

But he knew right away that this particular game was different. You giggled at your desk while you tapped away at your computer. It made you smile in a soft and charming sort of way. It irked him that some pictures and words on a screen drew that sort of reaction from you the same way he did.

You lean back and glance at him over your shoulder. His expression is hard to read in the dark, but you can feel the heavy weight of his stare on your face. "I didn't know you wanted to play it. You should've told me! Did you like it?"

"Not at all," he declares firmly, and you can't help but chuckle at his sharp response.

"Really? Why not?"

"I'm so glad you asked, darling," he says as he turns over and sits up suddenly. He flips on the lamp beside him, and he rubs the back of his hand against your cheek in apology when you wince as light illuminates his room. He plucks something off the bedside table and waves it in your direction with a flourish. "I made a list!"

You give him a skeptical look as you roll over to give him your full attention, and he clears his throat and taps the top of the page. "My first complaint is the ridiculous title: I Made a Bet and Have to Survive the Next Seven Days Without Falling in Love With a Babygirl Reaper Who Wants My Soul! Seriously? The title alone should warn you how terrible it's going to be."

"That's not what it's called in the human world," you explain with a shrug. "I don't understand why they changed it here, it's a little bit silly."

He tsks under his breath. "Silly indeed. Where do I even begin with this so-called love interest? It's almost like the creators have never met a real reaper before. I can assure you most of them aren't as nice or cute as they make him out to be." The look he shoots you next is oddly serious, and it sends a chill up your spine as his words sink in. "I recommend not getting too close to their kind. Thirteen seems docile enough, but I prefer your body and soul to remain in one piece."

You're not sure how to begin to respond to that little speech, but he pokes the paper with his finger and continues reading his list of "glaring issues" with the game. The complaints get more ridiculous and obscure, and it's only when he gets to the bottom of the page that the reason for his sour mood dawns on you.

"...and when I thought it couldn't get any worse, he calls you 'sunshine.' He has some nerve - that's what I call you. Remember when Mammon thought it would be funny to call you his sunshine too?" A dangerous gleam twinkles in his eyes before it disappears just as quickly. "At least he learned not to do that again," he murmurs under his breath.

You shuffle over on your knees and swing your leg over his thighs so you can sit in his lap. "Do you have any other complaints on that little list of yours?" you ask him with a teasing smile.

He huffs in frustration and his frown is adorable - of course he has one more grievance to share. "That stupid reaper doesn't even know your favourite flower. Tomorrow I'm going to buy you the biggest and most beautiful bouquet you've ever seen."

He finally drops the paper but neither of you spare it a second glance as it falls over the side of the bed and flutters to the floor. He wraps his arms around you and squeezes your waist gently, slumping his head against your chest with a drawn-out sigh. "I don't see what you like about him."

"Oh, Asmo." You run your hands gently through his hair as you hide your smile against the crown of his head. "Are you telling me there's a video game character you're actually jealous of?"

"Of course not," he mumbles into your collarbone, mouthing softly at the skin with little flicks of his tongue but it's not quite enough to distract you. "I wanted to see what all the hype was about." His teeth graze the bottom of your throat and you swallow down a quiet moan. "I found it extremely disappointing, by the way."

You cradle his jaw gently and tilt his head up so you can kiss the corner of his mouth. "You're so cute when you pout," you coo softly, just to watch how his cheeks turn pink. "I hope you know that he could pop into existence and appear outside your window right now, and I still wouldn't be interested in him. He's not you."

The words seem to soothe him a bit if the purring in his chest is anything to go by. You kiss the tip of his nose and let out a quiet squeak when he grasps the back of your neck and pulls you down so he can kiss you.

Repeatedly.

"You're right, darling." Kiss. "He's completely irrelevant," kiss "and I've already forgotten what his name is."

The world tilts suddenly as Asmo flips you onto your back and braces his weight on his hands. You giggle when he leans down and noses along your jaw. One of his hands slowly glides down your chest and tugs at the hem of your shirt, lifting it up and tossing it aside without a second thought.

"Let's see if I can make you forget his name too, hmm?"

read more: asmodeus masterlist | obey me masterlist

#obey me #asmodeus

639 notes · View notes

cosmicballet · 1 year ago

Note

I saw your asks were open and I ran right here! Could you write something about Asmodeus finding out that adult!mc is inexperienced in love and still hasn’t had their first kiss yet?

I’m not very experienced in the romance department myself, so this is something I’ve thought about quite a bit since Asmo is my fav. It would be so intimidating to be with Asmo, just because he is so experienced and he’s probably done EVERYTHING. At the same time it might be nice to let him take the lead? I think he'd be very gentle and reassuring as your “first,” whether that means kisses or something more intimate. I also don’t think he’d be judgmental, he’s been with all different types of people so nothing would surprise him.

I don't know what spirit possessed me, Anon, but I saw your ask and the words just kept coming. I do hope you like it ^ ♡ ^

***

Taboo

Genre: A little fluff, a little angst.

Warnings: Nonsexual nudity, not really suggestive but it does dance around the topic of sex, MC is a virgin and has never been kissed and feels embarrassed about it.

***

“...And can you believe, no one had ever told Marchosias that he was a bad kisser! Now, I don't mind if it’s a little rough but I’d prefer any hickies to be lower than jaw level, do you know how hard it is to cover them up even with magic? I swear, it was like making out with a suckerfish.”

Asmo slipped off his robe before folding it and setting it at the edge of the tub, smiling when you laughed at his description of the kiss. He did love an audience, and you hadn't heard most of his stories yet.

You were already in the tub, basking in the warmth and the light floral scent that wafted up with the stream.

Every once in a while Asmo would invite you for an evening bath to relax and gossip. Before you knew him well, you’d been wary of his intentions, but eventually you figured out his motives were relatively pure. He never once crossed your boundaries or made you feel uncomfortable. By now, you barely even acknowledged each other's nudity.

Asmo stepped into the tub, sinking into the cloud-like froth of bubbles, “I know he’s got that whole innocent 'I only give true answers to all questions’ thing going, so you don't want to hurt his feelings, but someone had to tell him.”

“Poor guy.” You laughed.

Asmo was usually the one who did most of the talking, but you didn't mind as long as you were able to get in a word from time to time. He always had a lot to say, so unless something particularly interesting happened to you at RAD, you’d let him go on for as long as he wanted.

“Oh, don't worry, I was gentle with him. I even gave him a private lesson, if you know what I mean.” He smirked, “But we never really talked again after that.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… I'm pretty sure he was just trying to use me to get to the Celestial Realm anyway, as if I wasn't disgraced and cast down. Like, Solomon probably has more sway with my Father than I do at this point.” Asmo sighed and stretched, leaning back against the tub. “But that's enough about me and all of that… What about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah,” Asmo's amber eyes brightened, “I wanna hear about your romantic escapades, so spill.”

You hadn’t quite gotten to revealing many of the intimate details of your past to him or any of the brothers.

Your cheeks warmed, “I don't think any of my stories will be as interesting as yours.”

Asmo laughed, “Well of course not, dear, but that doesn't mean I don't want to hear about them.”

“I don't know, Asmo, I don’t really-”

“I won’t ask you to share anything too personal, if that's what you’re worried about,” He lifted a handful of bubbles to his face and blew them in your direction, “Ooh, what about your first kiss, you could at least tell me about that!”

You broke eye contact with him, chewing your bottom lip as you tried to come up with the right words to say, and when they did, they caught in your throat, “I- I can’t.”

A sly grin stole across his lips, “Darling, don’t be silly. Is it that embarrassing of a story? You can tell me, I promise I won’t share it with a soul.”

“That’s not it, Asmo.”

“Hmm?” He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t understand.”

Your voice came out barely above a whisper, “I haven't had my first kiss yet.”

Asmo blinked a few times, the air felt heavy around you, though he didn't seem to notice. He was more surprised than anything.

You’d never had your first kiss?

“Does that mean you're also a-”

You turned your head, willing away the tears pricking at your eyes. It was stupid, you knew. There were lots of people like you. But you felt so ashamed. So unloved.

You knew the question was bound to come up sooner or later, but you still felt unprepared.

“Oh.” Asmo’s gaze softened, not that you could see it. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed-”

This was you, after all, adored by the future Demon King and the Avatars of Sin alike. He didn't think it was possible you could have lived for this long without so much as a kiss.

“It’s ok, Asmo, you didn't know.” You sighed, tilting your head back against the edge of the tub and closing your eyes. You needed a moment.

Asmo sank lower in the water, so his head sat just above the bubbles, his eyes never leaving you.

Asmo’s whole world for the longest time had revolved around himself and sex and carnal desire. That was just what it meant to be the Avatar of Lust. But in the grand scheme of things, experience in those areas didn't matter much at all. Passion was more important, whether it lasted a moment or centuries.

His heart ached for you. From your reaction, this was clearly beyond you simply not having an interest in intimacy. Asmo didn't understand how the opportunity hadn't come about for you. It infuriated him that other humans hadn't seen what he saw in you. How could anyone not love you?

Asmo hardly remembered his first, a face faded from millennia past, a kiss that hadn't made much of an impression after millions more, new and exciting feelings that had overwhelmed his senses at one point but would feel so tame to him now. But he did know that doing something new was always scary at first.

He could offer to help you take that step. To be your first. Of anyone in the entire universe, wouldn't the Avatar of Lust be the best possible first kiss? Wouldn't your first time with an expert make future opportunities feel less intimidating?

And if he was your first kiss, maybe he could be your first in other ways…

His gaze flickered to your lips.

But it didn't seem like the right time. Asmo had made a mess of things as it was. He knew he shouldn't have pressed you, but he had been too curious. Your feelings were already hurt.

He would talk to you about it some other time. Asmo didn't want you to think he pitied you and he didn't want to pressure you either. There was nothing shameful about your situation, whether you felt that way or not. It would do you no good to rush things when you were feeling so vulnerable.

No, he would wait for the right moment, and if you chose someone else as your first he would gracefully accept your decision.

Until then, he would show you how precious you truly were.

***

Cross-posted on AO3

#obey me #asmodeus

92 notes · View notes