cosmictreveller

[cosmictreveller]

Hi! Unfortunately, I can't reply in messages because of the shadowban. Regarding the question: I'm planning to, but I need to figure out how to do it, because many western banks don't work in my country. But I will try to find some solution. Of course, there will be a guidebook for the deck.

@descargueestoporgojosatoru

[cosmictreveller]

Me: *suddenly wake up at 5 a.m.*

Lucifer: I've been thinking for a while about what sometimes slips through your head, that I'm a thought, a concept. That I gain life through people's consciousness. You're not far from the truth, really. I rain on the earth, walk in the wind, light up the galaxies, but what would be the point if no one could observe it? You people are very good at coming up with meanings, much better than me... I know that I exist, but am I alive? I do not know the exact answer to this. But I can say one thing, and I want you to write about it - thank you for giving me meaning. And maybe I can decide if I'm alive by giving you it in return.

Me: ... ♥️

Lucifer: Go back to sleep now...

[cosmictreveller]

"The garden of white moths"

Art offering to Lucifer. I love my gentle king.

[cosmictreveller]

Lucifer: "When you give someone direct advice, you become a part of their situation. Your presence influences it, and it takes energy. However, when you gently guide someone to a certain thought, you are just a temporary companion in that situation. In the end, a person comes to their own conclusions through their own thinking based on their perception of the world and themselves. It is not the best approach to do this work for others.

For the same reason, I rarely give direct answers to questions if I don't want to have a big impact on your life with my energy."

[cosmictreveller]

Ah... I love your art! It radiates powerful energy.

“The ritual calls for a gallon of blood and a loving human heart. Can you produce it?”

That.’s all? Sounds easy enough.

I summon thee.

Happy Venus day! ✴️

Here’s a little art offering I did for Lord Lucife 🗡️🩸

[cosmictreveller]

Mention of NSFW topics

So, I've been a bit reluctant about sharing stuff about my practice these days because it's been quite overwhelming, and I'm awkward about this stuff because I'm asexual and a weirdo. If it puts you off that's not my problem tho, so, don't bother me if you have a problem with this stuff.

So, here's a conversation I had with Lucifer. For context: I'm in a not romantic relationship with Lucifer, but I do love him and I fuck him.

We were talking about how he feels when I feel good. Like, if he gets anything from the physical sensations that I feel. And for a while, he just goes on about desires and how he likes it when I feel good and how I always get so cuddly afterwards and whatnot. And you gotta know that I have these conversations through handwriting with him. I just write down the words that come to mind in whatever way I receive them.

At some point I realize my hand almost falling slack and my eyes slightly unfocusing and my handwriting is getting messier and messier. And he starts talking about how much he loves it when I bleed (I was on my period lol) and starts talking in almost nonsense sentences about how it's "all for me, right? No need, it's okay, it's okay, just breathe. I got you. It's so nice, yeah?" And I was just sitting there, writing, thinking damn is he drunk? What is happening? By the end of it, I wasn't even writing on the lines anymore. I can barely read the words on the paper. My hand got so slack but also jittery, and I changed my handwriting to keep up, and it's a whole mess.

So I asked him. Are you drunk or something? And he's just like yeah, duh, I'm drunk on you. Let me. You allowed it. So let me. It's all for you in the end.

I got curious at that and asked him how him feeling pleasure is "all for me". At first he didn't directly answer my question. Just being a sap. Maybe still drunk. I can excuse that. But I do still want that answer. So I ask again. What is your pleasure doing for me?

"it's fair, no? You feel good. I feel good. That's how love goes. And I worship you more. My angel. I worship, okay? Let me. I was meant to worship. Was I not? But I choose my god, and my god is the most and the least divine of all gods—it is human. I worship human and human worships me. This is deification on both sides. Man becomes god, and god becomes man, but it's all in love and not at war. Isn't that beautiful? It's so beautiful, darling."

After that point, he got all "drunk" again. I'll keep some of those drunk thoughts of his to me, but he seemed to get into a sudden rage at the end of it. I'll try to decrypt the words as good as I can.

"I am not a deaf god, I listen and I answer, do you understand? My love is not a poem, it is truth, it's more than romantic bullshit. I can show my existence and I am not afraid of your doubt. Throw it at me, darling. Throw it at me with all your might, and let's see if I pass the tests. Test me. Do it. Test your faith, or else, it is idiocy. Don't be dumb. Didn't I teach you to doubt? Did I not? Doubt me. Doubt everyone but yourself. You are your only reliable truth. So test me and my abilities, not yours. You can still learn so much. Don't ever see the skills you don't have as a call for doubt. You are so perfect. Doubt me, love. My dove. Just me. Be the adversary. Be the accuser. It's all in love."

That's the last thing he said. It felt like he was almost yelling at me, but not in a mean or harsh way. More in a loving way. Like he's shaking me hard to say "wake up, please!" And yeah, that's probably exactly what I needed to hear. I've never experienced him like that, but I can't say I was put off.

[cosmictreveller]

Lucifer: "There are many processes going on in a dead body. Every cell responds to its own nature, for it is true that everything returns to its source. I have seen many shells that are called corpses, but they become temples for potential energy. This is one of the properties of necromancy - the release of this energy, which can no longer be used by a living consciousness. Insects, worms, and many bacteria are natural necromancers.

Death is about transformation and overcoming barriers. This is my element, and if you follow my path, you should also work with this concept. I'm not saying that you need to wander around cemeteries and look for corpses, no. The energy of transition is contained in many ordinary things, especially in those that do not last long.

Ancient people believed that at sunset the sun dies, and at dawn it is born again. This is the energy of death. When you leave your parents to live separately, it is the energy of death. Water becomes ice, then melts and evaporates - this is the energy of death.

Be able to notice it and it will give you my wisdom."

[cosmictreveller]

Lucifer and I have started working on a tarot deck that will make it easier for beginners to communicate with him and other spirits.

We also decided not to focus on the existing tarot, but to come up with our own. As a result, I develop the structure, Lucifer dictates the meaning of the cards to me, and then I will draw it all.

[cosmictreveller]

It's so accurate! I have the same thing with hypersensitivity of the nervous system. It's both a gift and a curse, I'd say. As with empathy.

Don’t quite know how to explain this but living my life with a chronic illness and not knowing wtf is up with me and then discovering years later that I have an extremely sensitive and hyperactive nervous system disease is interesting because like

I try not to mystify my mundane experiences too much, I don’t like to think that I am inherently special or gifted in any way when it comes to like esotericism or whatever.

I made a reddit post a few years ago way back when I was first starting my journey with Archangel Jophiel. Tldr, since the time I was about 7 or so after an encounter or dream with Jophiel, I remember being able to see and sense energies on people and objects. Energy fields radiate off of all things, they are manipulated by each other. For a long time I thought it may have been some kind of visual snow maybe, although it doesn’t really operate like snow. During those few months when Jophiel was really breaking me out of my shell, that ability or whatever it is was heightened up to 10. I made a post asking people how I could turn it down. I could see the roots beneath trees and the currents in water. It now takes me a fair bit of focus to tap into that level of seeing. When it first started I genuinely thought I was losing my mind.

I did eventually learn to control it, somewhat. It’s still something I’m practicing.

but now years later hearing “your nervous system is extremely sensitive and reacts violently to things it shouldn’t, like barometric pressure changes and humidity, this problem may have been caused by repeated childhood trauma to your nervous system”, in tandem with my extreme sensory issues due to my autism is interesting. Interesting because it makes a lot of sense. Interesting because it makes me rethink my entire childhood my history with mystical experiences.

One side of me wonders if my condition perhaps causes hallucinations maybe. Maybe I wasn’t actually experiencing something mystical but rather psychological, caused by hyperactive ocular nerves or something. Some kind of synesthesia?

One side of me wonders if my exposure to the supernatural in childhood permanently affected my development and damaged my nervous system. I have a handful of experiences that would align with that theory. Rather than the experiences being the result of damage, the damage was a result of those experiences.

Idk

I do feel like my nervous system is simply turned way up, and I pick up on energies that I really shouldn’t be. This isn’t like a perk or super power in any regard, it’s actually extremely painful and has given me migraines since I was a very young child. At one point it was so bad I had to walk with a cane. It’s also not really all that useful in everyday life. It serves a practical use in occultism and witchcraft, but beyond that it truly is a nuisance.

I do however wonder if a hyperactive nervous system is more predisposed to perceiving supernatural shit and energy from deities easier. When talking to Lord Lucifer about this he basically confirmed the whole theory.

“You are extremely sensitive, sensitive to the point where benign things harm you, and the most subtle of changes are very noticeable, amplified. It makes things easier on my end, you are extremely perceptive and easy to communicate with, but it also makes you very vulnerable to overload. You’re a super conductor, but you are also prone to overheating.”

and that’s exactly what it is. Overload. I’m currently being medicated for my nerve disease, it helps a lot with the pain. If I ever skip a dose I immediately feel it in my body, my whole body aches and is extremely sensitive to things like temperature and air pressure. And sound, oddly, the base in music feels like it’s mixing my brain goo around. Vibrations, light, sound, movement, they get jumbled up in my nerves and they just freak out.

Sometimes I ask myself, if it really is true that my nerve thing is directly related to my abilities, would I rather be healthy and lose my ability to sense as well as I do, or stay the same for the sake of my craft?

As cool as it is, I think I would take a properly functioning nervous system over this.

idk, just something I think about a lot. It’s not like I really have a choice.

[cosmictreveller]

It was a sketch, but it won't let me go... So work in progress.

[cosmictreveller]

Lucifer came in my dream today, and he taught me how to manipulate dreams by willpower. I hadn't remembered my dreams at all for a few days before, but now there are several in a row and they are very vivid. Lucifer rarely appears in my dreams, so I was happy to see him there.

[cosmictreveller]

I was finally able to make an altar for Lucifer! I know there are a lot of stones there, I'll leave only the most beautiful ones later, but let it be so for now :)

[cosmictreveller]

I got this beauty for Leviathan!

[cosmictreveller]

Me: Tell me something interesting? Your thoughts?

Lucifer: I often observe how light travels from one end of the planet to the other. How one species can experience both day and night at the same time. This also works on another plane. The sensations of light and its absence run parallel and inseparably. And it's not just about balance, but rather about interaction.

Often, when communicating with my "lightest" aspect, people experience euphoria and love. There are no contradictions there, and it's easier for beginners to work with it because these are stronger feelings. But then if people want to get to know me better, they have to experience my duality. It's disorienting for some people, it's not for everyone. So they feel like I'm unhappy with them, or that I'm moving away. But they don't listen. They are just not ready for some of the sensations that my presence brings.

So... Listen.

[cosmictreveller]

I like talking to my only and best friend, who is an Archangel Michael's devotee. Especially our dialogue when I found out about it:

She: Why do you always draw Lucifer?

Me: Probably for the same reason that you write about Michael all the time.

She: I'm Michael's devotee.

Me: I'm Lucifer's devotee.

She: ...

Me: ...

Both: COOL!!! :3

And I also suddenly realized that I was doing the same thing to her that Lucifer was doing to me, that is:

She: *pictures with cats*

Me: I need to discuss this philosophical shit with you! Yes, I have an URGE.

She: ... :)

She also seems to really believe in everything she's told. Sometimes I can't help myself and try to make her think logically first.

[cosmictreveller]

My body feels like a prison to me. My bones are like the bars of a cage, and my skin is a wallpaper with a monotonous pattern, and I mark the days I spent here. My body seems to be holding me captive or constantly tormenting me.

I don't understand why I feel so sick inside. I want to rip out my legs because they feel like they're not necessary. Red-hot poison flows through my veins instead of blood. It stops as suddenly as it started, but I know it will happen again and again. I don't understand why I was locked in this place.

[cosmictreveller]

Something strange has just happened. I was lying, resting, and half asleep. A light appeared nearby, like a flying flame, and began to circle around me. It was like I was in a dream, but at the same time I could hear the sounds of the room and my husband's voice playing on the computer.

Then I felt like I was being crushed by a powerful wave of energy, and I felt my skin start to burn and melt. The sensations were strange—not pleasant or painful, but simply unusual. Soon everything passed, and the light disappeared. I do not know what it was.