crashmenagerie

[crashmenagerie]

One of the stranger things about training brand new nurses is explaining how to min max small talk. It feels very weird to coach people on how to chat.

[crashmenagerie]

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

[crashmenagerie]

Feelings tonight

[crashmenagerie]

[crashmenagerie]

controversial opinion but unfortunately you are your actions and what you say. if you are mean to people, it doesn’t matter if you sometimes have secret kind thoughts. fortunately you are your actions and what you say. if you are kind in your actions and your words, it doesn’t matter if you sometimes have mean thoughts. the power is in working against inner negative thoughts and being a better person despite it. you have the ability to cultivate the person you want to be.

[crashmenagerie]

The fact that both of zukos abusers used lightning against zuko and instead of learning to use lightning himself like he could have he learned how to redirect the lightning and let it pass through him and then straight clean out of him… Do you ever think about how that is literally physically representing how instead of absorbing his father and sisters abuse he lets it pass through him and instead of soaking it in and letting it destroy him he redirects it away from himself… I just want some peace in my life

[crashmenagerie]

I made this, please feel free to use

[crashmenagerie]

[crashmenagerie]

[crashmenagerie]

man with excellent self restraint dismayed to realize that not wanting anything is more likely a depression symptom than a carefully honed skill that atones for other aspects of his character

[crashmenagerie]

another heavy handed symbolism moment: my mom has a potted sunflower in the kitchen. because it is a sunflower, it keeps turning towards the light from the window. my mother keeps rotating it so it faces inward because she wants "to see its beautiful petals and have it really brighten up the space!" . the sunflower is visibly wilting .

[crashmenagerie]

I love learning about other culture's Houseguest Protocols but I hate hate hate when they don't match up cause like

I (PNW Canadian, raised with etiquette from my old British great-grandparents) sleeping over: Can I help with dinner. Can I do the dishes. PLEASE let me do something useful. Im sorry I'm here. I can sleep on the floor it's fine. You don't need to cook for me I can go outside and drink pond water. Do you hate me

My friend (Indian, raised by entire extended family in Dubai) hosting me: Why won't you let me feed you. Do you need more coffee. Am I doing something wrong. Do you have enough blankets? I will buy you warmer clothes. Here, you can sleep in my room, I'll take the couch. Why are you crying? Oh God am I a bad host

[crashmenagerie]

Listened to an essay that redoubled the message of Wild by Cheryl Strayed, saying that whenever someone goes into isolation, it's the encounters with other people that bring the most joy. The moral appears to be that happiness is other people and isolation is not good.

But I think the moral is actually that isolation should be the norm, and people-- rare and far between --are a refreshing change.

Like ice cream. Ice cream is good. But if all you eat is ice cream not only will you have a stomachache from hell, you will no longer want ice cream ever again.

I am buried in other people constantly every day. People who all want different things from me, both personal and professional. If I were mostly in isolation and one person asked me to help with something I would be overjoyed. A hundred people demanding help with a hundred different things all the time all day does not cause joy.

I need to leave. I need to fuck off to the woods and stay there until everyone forgets about me.

[crashmenagerie]

Living in the moment means asking yourself, "What are you doing?"

What are you doing right now?

This is the timeline I'm on.

[crashmenagerie]

You will heal. The things that feel they will hurt you forever will slowly hurt less and less. This doesn't mean they don't hurt now or that it doesn't suck, but it does mean that someday things can suck less. You will find a way to live that is less painful, and you will live a life that feels free.

[crashmenagerie]

it's kinda comforting to me when my friends are a little annoying or longwinded or abrasive or tired and inarticulate, or they don't do the exact politest thing in every interaction, and stuff, because I know I'm sometimes annoying, or take up a more than my share of conversational space, or forget to ask them questions, etc etc, and... like, I'm always working to be nice to my friends and to get better and better at friend-ing, but it just makes me feel more human about it :}

anyway I love you friends plz know I'm not counting, in fact I feel great affection toward you even (especially) when conversations go less than Perfectly Ideal

[crashmenagerie]

When I was in elementary school, I remember my mom being very angry every morning because she had to get up early and make sure I get to school. She was tired, she said. she didn't have time for this, she said.

Eventually, when it became clear that I didn't need her help (because I'd started doing everything myself to keep her from getting annoyed with me) she didn't get up at all. I got up on my own every morning, got dressed, got my stuff together, grabbed a pack of crackers for lunch, and went to the bus stop.

I was terrified of missing the bus. This meant I'd have to go back and wake up my mom, who would rage and scream about having to be awake.

I usually went several days in a row without showering, because turning on the shower would wake my mom. I adjusted to eating and drinking almost nothing all day until 3 pm because I was terrified of inconveniencing anyone at all with my needs.

This continued all the way through high school.

Occasionally a teacher noticed. Sometimes they'd sit with me at lunch and express concern. But then they'd actually talk to my mom, and my mom would be so charming and wonderful and had an explanation for everything, so they all left me alone because obviously I was fine and nothing was wrong and this was normal and also my mom was awesome.

By the time I graduated high school, I had no idea what was real.