crimesofadeadpool

[crimesofadeadpool]

*awkward cough*

Alright losers (by which I mean beloved people who still follow this account even though my depression has basically destroyed my ability to write)... so... let’s say theoretically I want you guys to send me some small ficlet ideas (and yes I know, I have a lot already, but for some reason prompts get stale in my mind if I don’t write them immediately and I need new ones to get everything going again...)... um.... would you guys theoretically have any?

Maybe specifically ones about idk Black Panther....maybe something to do with Infinity Wars (which was fantastic btw)... or you know the new deadpool movie is coming out in a few days.....

[crimesofadeadpool]

Prompt I'm just gonna throw out there: drunk horny Peter using his best pick up lines on Wade, they are extremely nerdy (science and pop culture) because Peter

So it’s 4:30am and I have to start getting ready for work at 6am for my first 7am shift and I have this fucking intense desire to write something and almost all my prompts are related to an ask game I’m pretty sure I shut over a year ago and so I’m writing this because reasons. Also screw you it’s not exactly what you ask for but fight me Boston. You’re so bloody rude you don’t even deserve this one bit.

Peter dropped himself into Wade’s lap delicately. “S’rry to drop in on you like this.” Wade blinked twice at his lover. “Hey baby,” he said in that high-pitched way his voice got when he was cautiously trying to figure out if his boyfriend was a hallucination or not. “What’s up?” Peter leant in with a drunken smile and whispered in his ear. “You. Soon.”Wade’s hands clenched in Peter’s top. Had to be a hallucination. Fuck, but Peter got horny when he drank. Real? Dammit Peter had said he wasn’t going to drink, Wade always ended up with a shattered pelvis by the end of those nights. At least, that’s what he told Peter to make him kiss it better. “Fun night then?”  Peter pulled his head back to look him seriously in the eyes. “I only had two drinks,” he declared loudly. Wade scoffed and his hands slid under the hem of Peter’s shirt and ran up his back to pull him close. “Oh, we believe you Spidey.” [Can the author fact check that please?] “Maybeee another two on top of that,” Peter added sheepishly and then ground his hips down into Wade’s lap. “You could be on top of me in a few minutes.” Wade’s whine caught in the back of his throat as he choked out a “You know I prefer you on top, baby boy.”Peter snorted ridiculously and leant in again, teeth grazing the scarred mass that was Wade’s ear. “I never said who was doing the topping.” “As long as you’re gonna be doing me,” Wade whispered back before violently pulling Peter to his chest, Peter flush against him. Peter lifted his head up and planted a kiss on Wade’s head, before darting off his lap, Wade whining at the loss of contact as Peter towered over him holding out his hand. He grinned down at Wade. “We thank you for choosing Parker Airlines,” he began boldly as his eyes trailed down Wade’s sitting form hungrily. Wade snorted and took his hand, standing in front of Peter eagerly. “Bedroom?” Peter nodded and leant in for a kiss.

Your punishment for being so mean is that this is a pretty shitty ficlet so suffer Boston.

[crimesofadeadpool]

“Old Fanfic Snippets that are years old that I never got around to finishing” thread

Contains a Cherik, a few spideypools, including the beginning of a coffeeshop au, an MRT smutty start, and a Thor/Hulk smutty start inspired by the Avengers Assemble cartoon, I think idk guys it’s virgin!Thor and Hulk I got nothing for you. And the finally Wolverine/Spider-man because there was this ‘What If’ comic where Spidey goes all vigilante and I swear, one of the lines is “…Logan enjoyed watching [Peter] take the lead.” And it was so gay I swear, I couldn’t help myself. Anyway, if you want to read them, check the cut below. 

It started, as most thing did in the Xavier household, with a game of chess. Charles and Erik sat at opposing sides of the board.  They were in one of the numerous living rooms of Xavier’s mansion, spread out on the rug in front of the fireplace. Since it was too warm to have the fireplace going, Charles was mentally projecting the fire for them. Erik’s hand hesitated over a knight. “Not getting nervous, are we?” Charles teased. Erik shot him a look and moved the piece. Charles reviewed the board, idly scratching his head. “No powers,” Erik chided. “I wasn’t using my powers,” Charles retorted. “I had an itch.” Erik frowned and looked at the chess game. “Your move.” Charles shifted, lying flat on his stomach. “Patience,” he chided. Erik sighed and took a sip of wine. Charles took the opportunity to look at Erik. He was wearing that black top again, the one that clung to his chest. In fact, he was dressed totally in black, which the shadows of Charles’ imaginary fire only added to.

“You want me to what?” Peter had been many things in his life. Student, teacher, photographer, superhero, scientist. And now, apparently, a stripper. “Don’t be so dramatic,” MJ chided. “We just need a male model.” “To model lingerie.” MJ pouted. “We need a model, and you’ve got the best body of any guys I know.” “Flash, Harry-” Peter began rattling off. “No.” Peter switched his incredulous gaze to his aunt. “You can’t want me to do this.” May gave him a sympathetic look. “It’ll be fun.” “Fun,” he repeated. And here he thought Deadpool was the one supposed to provide the dirty innuendo in his life. These people were supposed to be normal. MJ grinned at him. “Come on Tiger. You know you’re going to say yes eventually. So let’s cut to the chase.” Peter sagged. “Fine.”

Peter leant against the counter, flipping through a biology book. He was technically on duty, but the coffee shop’s clients always dwindled after noon. He turned the page, then looked up as the bell attached to the door rang. A very handsome man walked in, with gorgeous eyes. Peter blushed. “Hi,” he said, automatically plastering a smile on his face. “What can I get you?” “Black coffee. No, wait, with milk. So white. Why are they called that? Black coffee’s actually brown, isn’t it, and white is like honey brown, depending on how much you put in. Actually while we’re on the topic, why is it called ‘straight’ coffee? Like does that mean when coffee has stuff in it, it’s gay? And if so, can we start calling that? Claim the sugar-filled coffee away from the homophobes? That would serve them right. Wait till their coffee addiction kicks in and they come crawling to us, begging for sugar and preaching equality.” He nodded to himself. “Also, I want honey, marshmallows, whole milk and six teaspoons of sugar. Oh and I’m Wade.” Peter blinked at him. “What?” The man pouted. “Coffee. Make.” Peter frowned. “So your order is…” “Coffee, milk, honey, marshmallows, six sugars.” He nodded. “Six.” Peter repeated. “And my name is Wade,” the man confirmed, nodding. “You’re cute,” he added. “What?” “I said you’re cute. You know, for a barrister.” Peter blinked twice, unsure how to respond. He moved to the other side of the counter and began making the drink. “You mean barista,” he said finally. “A barrister is a lawyer.” Wade stuck out his tongue. “Hey, I’m flirting with you. You’re supposed to compliment me back.” Peter looked him over. “Uh…” He spooned in the sugar and handed it over quickly. “Here’s your drink.” Wade stuck out his lower lip. “Thanks,” he said with a hint of sadness. He handed over the money. “Keep the change.” Then he walked out. Peter blinked twice. He looked down at the twenty dollar note. “Okay,” he said to himself.

~

MJ grinned at Peter and bumped her hip against him. “What’s wrong, Tiger?” Peter looked at her. “What do you mean?” He cast another look at the door as a new set of customers came in. “You’re expecting someone,” she accused as she moved to take their order. “I’m not,” he said after he had made their drinks, one black, one plain milk. She gave him a look. “Sure you’re not.” “I’m not.” It had been two days since Wade had come in. Peter wasn’t sure why, but he kept waiting for him to come back. He didn’t mean to. He hadn’t told anyone about the weird encounter yet, because he still wasn’t sure what, if anything, had happened. “Then stop checking out everyone who comes in,” MJ teased. “I’m not-” he sighed. “It’s nothing.” He began cleaning off the espresso machine. “Uh-huh,” MJ said doubtfully. The door chimed again. This time Peter refused to look up. Which turned out to be a mistake when the cheerful voice of Wade filtered through the café. Peter’s head darted up. Wade didn’t notice him, his gaze on MJ. “What can I get you?” she asked in a deep voice. Peter felt a stab of jealousy at MJ and her flirty personality. Of course she’d find him attractive too. Who wouldn’t? “Cinnamon Dolce Latte. With lots of sugar.” MJ raised an eyebrow. “Sugar,” she repeated. “Lots of it.” “Name?” “Wade,” Wade replied happily. From behind the bench, hidden from view, Peter blushed. Wade moved away from the counter to wait for his order. MJ handed Peter the note with his order, and then caught his eye. She folded her arms. “Tiger?” she demanded with a raised eyebrow. Peter looked away hurriedly. “Weird order, huh?” he said non-chalantly.

“Ooh, ice cream.” Wade said, slinging his arm over Peter’s shoulders and tried to redirect him towards the shop. Peter gave him an annoyed look. “No.” He pulled away and kept walking. Wade pulled a face. “But ice cream.” Peter didn’t respond, and Wade had to walk quickly to catch up. When he reached him, he hugged Peter from behind. “I’ll make it good for you,” he teased. Peter froze. A few things ran through his mind, ending with, “What does that even mean?” Wade let his hands wander. “This and that.” Peter scowled. “We’re in public.” He was flushed and pointedly ignoring the looks some passer-by’s were giving them. “Then let’s go to the ice cream shop, it’ll be more private.” He whispered the last word. Peter pushed him away. “You really have no idea how to be seductive, do you?” Wade grinned. “I was still good enough for you to recognise it as seduction,” he pointed out. “But you’re right, let’s discuss this. Over ice cream.” Peter closed his eyes. “Is there any way to get out of this?” “Nope!” He grabbed Peter’s hand and pulled him across the road. Peter sighed. The door chimed as they entered the shop. Wade pushed him into one of the little tables. Peter obediently sat down as Wade ordered. There was a mother sitting with her two children across the room. She cast the mask-less Wade a suspicious look, but smiled when Peter gave her an apologetic look. Peter tapped the table idly as the two kids fought over something. He was trying very hard to ignore Wade’s ordering, knowing it would be some monstrous sin of a creation. Frankenstein’s monster meets Ultimate Aggregor. Knowing Wade, it’d probably end up sculptured into a perfect replica of his ass. He sighed. “Something wrong Spidey?” Wade asked. Peter cast him a fearful glance. Then blinked. And blinked again. Wade was holding out an ice cream cone. A normal ice cream cone. Peter tentatively reached over, waiting for the punchline, but Wade handed it over without comment. He took the seat next to him and dropped a tub of ice cream onto the table. In his free hand was a matching cone. Peter blinked again. He opened his mouth and shut it. The scene was just so…so…normal. It was perfect. That was worrying. Wade gave him a concerned look. “You don’t like chocolate? I thought everyone liked chocolate.” “I prefer rainbow,” he blurted out, still a bit thrown. Wade looked upset. “I can get you one,” he replied quickly, making a move to stand up. “No!” Peter replied, grabbing his arm. “It’s fine. Great.” He nodded to the tub. “What’s that?” “For later,” Wade replied, still with a bit of a frown on his face. “I can get you rainbow flavoured.” “It’s fine. What do you mean later?” Wade shrugged. “Guess you’ll have to find out.” Peter gave him a suspicious look and licked at the ice cream. He smiled at Wade, who was rapt. “No fair,” Wade told him. “You should use that tongue for good, not evil.” Peter rolled his eyes.

Matt hummed and kissed a line down Peter’s neck. Wade made a pained noise. “Why can’t I join?” he whimpered from the arm chair opposite their couch. Peter glared at him as Matt’s hands tugged on the bottom of Peter’s shirt. “Because we’re punishing you,” Peter told him.   Matt sighed as he pulled the t-shirt off and folded it up gently to place on the coffee table. “I said no talking,” he chided Peter with a soft kiss. Peter smirked back. “Wade started it.” “If you’re not silent I’ll punish both of you,” Matt threatened with very little heat as he reached for Peter’s belt. There was a silence as Matt stripped the two of them off and folded their clothes onto the table. “Can’t I just-” “No,” Matt cut him off. His eyes were closed as he slid forward and ran his hands over Peter’s face. “This is unfair,” Wade mumbled, not taking his eyes off the scene. “Entrapment.” Matt kissed Peter softly, prompting a small moan from the other man. “Entrapment would suggest we secretly want you to join us so that we can punish you more.” “Well,” Wade said, “when you put it like that.”

Hulk rummaged through the fridge. “Food,” he moaned as he searched for the fifth time in the past ten minutes. From the counter, Thor pulled a face. “The constant lack of food is an abhorrent trait of this Tower.” Hulk grunted. Thor sighed and rested his head on his arms on the counter. “Food,” he moaned. He sighed and stretched. “Pizza soon,” Hulk reminded him. Twenty-five different types of pizza were on-route. All they had to do was wait.   “Yes,” Thor sighed and blew some hair out of his face. There was a silence. “Is this not the part where we indulge in the ‘small talk?’” Thor had been trying to come to terms with Midgardian social standards. Hulk gave him a grin. “What would Goldilocks want to talk about?” Thor ignored the slight. “What do you mortals usually talk about?” Hulk shrugged. He tried to remember the last time he ‘chatted’ about anything. “The weather?” Thor looked behind him to the window. “It is sunny.” Hulk followed his gaze and grunted. “That was not a satisfying conversation.” Thor commented. Hulk shrugged again. “If I may interrupt.” Jarvis chimed in. “Speak computer,” Thor allowed him. “I have devised a list of common ‘small-talk’ topics. For example, AllWomenStalk.com states that good topics include: How Your Day Has Been, Compliments, Something Interesting From The News, Work. SocialAnxietyDisorder.about.com lists: Weather, Sports, Family, Hometown. Shall I continue?” “No. Thank you, computer.” “You are welcome.” Hulk and Thor exchanged looks. “So…” Thor began. “However,” Jarvis continued, “I have also compiled a list of topics that Captain America and Sir often engage in.” Thor and Hulk shared a look. “Continue.” “The most prominent topics in discussions include – technology, history, fighting techniques.” The two frowned at each other. None of those topics seemed especially interesting. “Was there nothing else?” “There was one other topic.” Jarvis admitted. “But I am not sure it is relevant.” “Tell us Computer.” “The most talked about topic between Captain America and Tony Stark is sex.”  The computer informed them. There was an awkward silence. Hulk burst out laughing, while Thor blushed slightly. “Of course!” Hulk laughed. He noticed his companion’s flush. “Something wrong Rapunzel?” “Nothing.” Thor said quickly. Hulk gave him a look. “You upset?” “I’ll have you know I’ve bedded half the females in Asguard.” Thor declared loudly, looking away as a flush covered his face. Hulk gave him a look over. “Uh-huh.” Hulk didn’t actually care how many people Thor had bedded – female or otherwise. Thor flared up. “Are you challenging me?” Hulks eyes narrowed. Hulk never backed away from a challenge – even if it was an imaginary challenge that was a product of his friend’s wounded honour. Hulk stepped forward, closing the distance between them. He could see in Thor’s eyes the want to retreat warring with his pride. Thor took a deep breath and stayed his ground. Hulk chuckled in response. The Norse God’s eyes flared. “You dare mock me?” “Hulk doesn’t mock.”   Thor didn’t reply. “Touchy,” Hulk commented. Thor raised an arm suddenly, as if to attack him. Hulk pinned down the man against the counter. “Relax.” Thor didn’t meet his eyes and shifted embarrassedly. Hulk suddenly picked up on the mood. “Scared Princess?” Thor’s eyes flashed as they met his again. “I am never scared.” Hulk grinned and darted in, mashing their lips together. Thor froze and his eyes closed. Hulk chuckled again as they parted. Thor squirmed. “This is unfair.” There was an unspoken communication between them. A daring look in Hulk’s eyes, and an equal determination in Thor’s decided their path. They shifted and Hulk pulled him closer. Thor wrapped his arms around him and kissed him. The kiss was awkward and inexperienced. “Half the women in Asgard,” Hulk repeated sardonically.   Thor growled and pulled him into another kiss, this one slightly better than the first one. “Have to teach you,” Hulk continued, lifting Thor onto the counter. A shiver ran through Thor’s body as Hulk began to undress him, gently at first, but -after getting annoyed with the Asgardian armor – ripping away the clothes and throwing them across the room. “Initiating Protocol ‘Fonduing’,” Jarvis chimed in. There was a noise as the room was suddenly locked down – the windows were overlayed with metal and the doors locked with a noise. “Fonduing?” Hulk repeated. “I believe that is Captain America’s word for…” “…Fonduing.” Hulk finished. “Yes. Jarvis?” There was no reply. “I believe we are now alone.” Thor concluded. “Good,” Hulk said and kissed Thor’s neck and his hands trailed down between his legs. Thor squirmed again. “Hulk,” Thor gasped. “Yes, God?” Hulk mocked. Thor’s mouth opened, but he hadn’t any words to explain what he needed, so he shut it. Hulk nuzzled Thor’s neck. Thor’s squirming increased and he wrapped his legs around Hulk’s waist. The sentient part of Hulk’s brain was suddenly glad that Thor wasn’t properly human. It meant that he didn’t have to hold back. He picked up Thor suddenly, and walked over to the couch, dropping Thor inelegantly and then getting on top of him. It became quickly clear that the couch - while being able to hold both their weight, definitely didn’t fit their size. Hulk grabbed Thor and threw him onto the glass coffee table instead

Based off a certain line in one of the “What If” comics – ‘Spiderman versus Wolverine’. “…Logan enjoyed watching [Peter] take the lead.” Yes, it actually said that. I don’t know why. I don’t...I don’t know why.  This is set in the world where Peter stays in Russia with Wolverine, and becomes a hardened killer, and his Spidey-sense evolves into almost precognition.

There was a satisfying noise as his fists hit the punching bag. It was snowing, but that was usual for this place. He hit the bag again, this time too hard and his fist went through the bag. “Are you just going to stand there?” Spiderman asked, as he took the bag off the hook and sighed. Wolverine exhaled deeply, leaning against the wall of the cabin with a cigar in his hand. “Yep.” Peter turned to look at him, folding his arms. “Those things will kill you, you know.” This startled a laugh out of him. “Yeah, that’s something to be worried about.” Peter grinned at him. “Bored, Logan?” Wolverine shrugged casually. “The others are out of town.” “And you want me to amuse you.” “Sounds good to me.” Logan looked at his dying cigar and threw it away. Peter gave him a look. “Now you’re starting forest fires.” “Good chance with that, in this weather.” Logan pointed out. Peter shook his head. “Ever the risk taker.” Logan walked towards him and inclined his head to the broken punching bag. “Having fun?” Peter looked at them with disdain. “Not much of a fight.” Wolverine grinned and reached over. Peter quickly ducked his arm and span to the side. “Wanna dance Spidey?” Spiderman grinned and put up his arms in a mock fighting stance. He beckoned. Logan leapt forward. Spidey easily ducked his punch, and the follow-up kick. While Logan was off-balanced, Spidey twisted and kicked at Logan’s leg, knocking him easily to the ground, and then sitting on top of him, pinning him down. “Not much of a fight.” Spidey said again. “That wasn’t a fight. It was a dance. Weren’t you listening?” Peter rolled his eyes. “Well, thanks for the dance.” “Anytime kiddo.” He shifted. “You going to get off me now?” Peter gave him an innocent grin. “I thought we were dancing.” Logan gave him a look. “Dance is over Spidey.” He was getting a bit uncomfortable about how close they were. His scent was awfully overwhelming – the smell of sweat and blood. He frowned. “You bleeding?” Peter looked at his hands. “A little.” He admitted. “Not as tough as you’d like, huh?” “Still took you out.” “Because I let you.” “Sure.” Wolverine suddenly struck, twisting so that Peter was the one on his back, and Logan was the one pinning him down. Peter gasped as the air fled his lungs. He coughed. “Really?” Logan asked him. Peter gave him a look as he coughed. “I let you do that.” “Well aren’t we both polite?” “To the core.” Logan chuckled. “You going to let me go?” “I thought we were still dancing.” “Yeah, that’s old news. Now we’re cold and pinned to the snowy ground of Russia.” Spidey shivered slightly, his legs spasming slightly against Wolverine’s body. Wolverine paused, trying to ignore the part of his brain that had gone into overdrive. “Eh, whatever,” he said and let go of the man, standing up. Spiderman sat up and rubbed the back of his head. “Huh?” Wolverine shrugged. “You’re right. It’s cold.” Spidey jumped lithely to his feet. “Yeah, it is. But since when have you cared about that?” Wolverine began walking back to the cabin. “Hmm.” Peter said, following him inside. The fireplace was blazing, warming up the inside of the cabin nicely. Wolverine collapsed onto the couch. Spiderman stood up on the couch and crouched next to him, watching him suspiciously. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Wolverine grunted. Spiderman leant towards him. “You okay?” Wolverine didn’t reply. Spiderman reached over and touched his face. Wolverine stood up, but not before Peter realised the problem. He chuckled. “Oh, Wolverine,” he sang, jumping off the couch to wrap his arms around Logan’s waist. Logan froze. “Back off kid.” He said in a dangerous tone. Spiderman moved closer to whisper in his ear. “I’m not a kid anymore.” Logan shivered. “You are to me.” “Just because you’re an old man,” Spidey teased. His hands slid towards Logan’s belt line. “Kid.” “Old man.” Spiderman mimicked. “Come on Wolverine, let’s play.” “Don’t mess with me.” “I’m not messing with you. Turn around.” Wolverine reluctantly turned around and Peter was on him in an instance, forcing their lips together. Logan instinctively pulled him closer. Peter grinned and rubbed against him.

[crimesofadeadpool]

I’m going through my old unfinished stories, so here have an old start to a nsfw Deadpool/Agent X fic

Alex ducked Wade’s attack and elbowed him in the face. Wade tripped backwards pulling on Alex’s arm. Alex cursed and tried to get his balance back, panting. “What’s – hff – wrong, Wilson? Outta jokes?” Wade grinned. His mask had been cut off ages ago. “You’re a big enough joke already,” he taunted. “Looked in the mirror lately?” Alex jumped towards Wade, shooting at him a few times. Wade’s katanas reached up to greet him. Alex dodged, twisted and- His lips met Wade’s. They froze like that, Alex’s gun still smoking, Wade’s katanas covered in blood. Locked in a kiss. Their heads jerked back at the same time and they swapped embarrassed looks. “So that was weird.” Alex said. “Bound to happen at some point,” Wade agreed. They stared at each other, and in the same move they leapt back at each other, biting at each other’s mouth, dropping their weapons in favour of clutching at each other’s ruined clothes. Alex ripped Wade’s ugly show-offy uniform off him, Wade doing the same, both undressing each other as quickly as possible without breaking their kissing. If you could call it kissing. They were still hyped from their fight, both angry and adrenaline-filled, biting and clawing at each other as they undressed. Wade’s leg swept out, dropping Alex to the floor with Wade on top. Alex glared at him and rolled him over. Wade scowled and flipped them back. “You don’t even like being on top!” Alex protested as he rolled them back. Luckily they were in a cliché abandoned warehouse and no one could see the two naked men rolling over them. “Perv,” Wade retorted. “How do you know that?” Alex kissed him furiously. “Who do you think you’re talking to?” Wade narrowed his eyes. “A perv.” Alex’s hand shot down to squeeze Wade’s cock. “I’m on top.” Wade nodded dumbly.

[crimesofadeadpool]

I’ve answered three of the 80 odd messages in my inbox and now I’m oddly craving cablepool.

[crimesofadeadpool]

Pls write: a black cat loves a little ladybug, the ladybug is a tsundere and loves him too

The black cat trailed his prey, tail high in the air as it readied itself to pounce on the beautiful red ladybug in front on him. A pause. And then the cat pounced on its prey, only for the ladybug to fly, ever so carefully out of its reach. The cat pouted. The ladybug dropped herself down on the floor a meter away from the cat once more. The game began anew. This was what you wanted right? Like I don’t know why you’re fetishing a household pet and an insect but that seems about right for you, my perverted friend.

[crimesofadeadpool]

Hi again, gender...whatever anon from before. Yeah, part 2 was essentially me saying that now that I'm comfortable with questioning my gender, it's so confusing. Some days I feel like a woman, some days I feel like a man, some days neither or maybe both. My counselor is the one who brought up the term gender fluid to me, but he also said the same as you, in that the labels are really only there for me to apply in whatever way I'm comfortable with. (1/3)

I'm curious about the fact that I don't really have any emotional attachment to pronouns... Whether people say 'What's up dude' or 'Hello miss,' whether I'm wearing bindings and men's clothing or heels and a dress, I don't know, it's just the same as them saying 'Hey you' as far as my brain interprets it. For example, I'm in my 'man mode' (as I call it in my head) when I go to meet my cousin for drinks one day and he sees me out of the corner of his eye and turns and says (2/3)            

Okay, so once again a part of your message has been cut off... I did try writing a public message for you asking you to resend the last part of your message, but it’s been five months so I think you missed it. Umm, so yeah, gender is hard. I think it really matters whether you want to make it an important thing about you or not. If you are gender fluid but don’t mind what pronouns other people call you, it might just be that gender isn’t something you feels defines you, if that makes sense, or that you see your gender as something that isn’t reliant on how other people see you. I only started feeling emotionally attached to male pronouns after I came out publicly. Like it didn’t matter till people knew, you know? But, as I think I said before, after people did start calling me with male pronouns, it made me incredibly happy. But I don’t think you should worry if that doesn’t quite apply to you. I think the reason gender is so important to people now if because a lot of people still only see people as male or female. I think if the world was less genderfied...ughh I don’t know. When people I don’t know use female pronouns for me, it doesn’t mean anything to me. I mean, I not e it in my head, correct them in my head, but I understand it. Like the fault isn’t with them, and I never feel in the mood to challenge a stranger’s perspective of my gender. Like if it’s a friend of a friend it comes out pretty early in the convo that I’m trans, but I don’t mind who knows it. It’s the people who know and then tell me that ‘unless I get a sex change they won’t refer to me as male’ (my dad, last year, after pretending that he accepted me for who I am and criticising mum for not doing the same just to get parental brownie points from me. He ended up accusing me of trying to replace my dead brother after I finally called him out on it, even though I came out to him two years before Aaron died, it was just that he doesn’t care enough about us to actually see us (we had seen him once in the past two years before Aaron died and only twice since then) and it wasn’t till after the funeral that he admitted that he didn’t respect me as trans at all), or even those people who say they accept me and then continue to use female pronouns despite me objecting, complaining that it’s too hard to change pronouns despite being able to use my preferred name easily, those are the times I get upset, especially when I find myself pronoun-checking my own words, a hestiation before I wrongly use female pronouns because I can’t stand them giving me ‘the look’ or whatever. Anyway, hopefully your next message won’t be cut off and you can ask me what you actually wanted to ask me, haha.

[crimesofadeadpool]

Anyway, so I could apologise for disappearing for so long but honestly this is a habit now and you guys all know it so yeah.

[crimesofadeadpool]

Please please please can you write something about Daredevil/Iron Fist? I'm so into it but I've read everything and I'm desperate and you are so good 😭❤ Ps: I draw them together 24/7 cause they are so cute 😸

Hiya~ You get to be my 100000~ ‘hey guys I’m back for a little while’ ficlet. Also I love Danny/Matt and have also read everything with all of them.... Or at least I had back before the Daredevil series came out.... and then of course with the Iron Fist series due out soon there may be a whole lot more now than there was back three or four years ago... But I digress. I love Matt/Danny, especially when you throw Luke and possible Jessica in there as well. (I’ll always prefer Danny/Luke, I’m sorry I can’t help it they’re super shippy in their new comic series). Matt woke up alone. For a second, just a second, he worried. Like a normal person would if they woke up to find their boyfriend gone at 3am on a Sunday night in Hell’s Kitchen. Then he spread out his awareness and less than a second later he picked up on Danny’s heartbeat, echoing steadily, slowly, on the roof above him. Matt sighed to himself and wondered if he really needed the extra few hours of sleep that staying in bed would afford him. After all, he could still see everything Danny was doing up there anyway. His K’un-L’un version of Tai Chi, moving meditation of slow breathing and soft movement, probably wasn’t the best time to interrupt him anyway. And for what? A hushed, half conversation? To be close enough to feel Danny’s warmth? To prompt a smile from him that Matt couldn’t even see anyway, backed by darkness that framed a skyline that was just echos for him? But Matt was a selfish daredevil, so he slipped out of bed and jumped out of the window, easily contorting himself to reach the roof. Danny’s heart didn’t flicker at all. “You should be in bed,” he chided. Matt raised an eyebrow and in his best lawyer voice, he retorted, “so should you.” Danny broke out of his pose with a snort, turning to grin at his lover as he ran a hand through his ungainly hair. Matt caught the scent of incense from him as he smiled back, his stomach curling pleasantly as he knew he had achieved at least one of his goals for dragging his beaten body out of bed once again. “I was restless,” Danny said. “When are you not?” Matt replied, before adding, “and I know when you’re lying.” Danny shrugged easily and stepped up to kiss Matt on the nose. “I got a call from one of my investors.” He shrugged again. “Didn’t want to wake you.” Matt frowned at him. “I didn’t hear anything.” “That’s how I know you were tired.” Danny’s hands were resting on Matt’s hips and he tapped his fingers against his bare skin easily. “Now come back to bed or I’ll carry you there myself.” Matt tutted but turned back to the edge of the roof - he knew from experience what arguing with Danny got him. Before he jumped off, Danny’s hands caught his hips again and pulled him back against his chest so that he could kiss Matt’s neck gently. “Goodnight Matt.”“You could join me,” Matt replied with the slightest lowering of his voice. Danny snorted against his skin. “I have to finish the set you so rudely interrupted first.”“And then?” “And then.” Danny confirmed.

[crimesofadeadpool]

JOHNNY STORM IS OFFICIALLY BI/PAN

Marjorie Liu, who wrote Johnny briefly during his appearance in Daken: Dark Wolverine #4, confirmed on twitter very recently that Johnny and Daken had a sexual relationship. 

Johnny’s bi/pansexuality is canon now, although, probably because of the Fantastic Four’s current lack of popularity, not one sound was made about it in the media or in the Marvel fandom.

It’s not as if there’s nothing in canon itself to back up Liu’s statement. In 2005′s Spectacular Spider-Man #21, Johnny openly admits to having slept with at least one nonbinary alien: 

In Fantastic Four #563, we even find out that there’s an alternate universe version of Johnny – in which he’s the older of the Storm siblings – where he is the one who is married to Reed Richards, not Sue:

In The New Mutants: Superheroes and the Radical Imagination of American Comics, comics scholar Ramzi Fawaz traces Johnny’s history as a queer figure all the way back to his initial appearance Fantastic Four #1, so Johnny is not only currently queer, he has always implicitly been written that way.

Sometimes the hints were subtle, like in his Fantastic Four #309 trip to Fire Island, which was, at the time it was published, a notorious gay vacation spot.

And sometimes the hints were more overt:

Maybe it’s just me, but I think that the fact that Johnny Storm, part of Marvel’s First Family and one of the founding members of the Fantastic Four, the team that is responsible for making the Marvel universe what it is today and which was once Marvel’s most popular and influential property, is officially bi/pan IS A BIG DEAL. 

JOHNNY STORM, FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE FANTASTIC FOUR AND MARVEL’S FIRST FAMILY, IS OFFICIALLY BI/PAN. IT’S IMPORTANT.

[crimesofadeadpool]

Powerfist and #17 Plisssss🐍 😑 🙏

17. Marriage proposal (I really hope this was the right ask game haha) Also, I haven’t seen any MCU series past episode 6 of the first season of Daredevil so this is only comic based. Also in the course of writing this fic I found out Luke’s real name is Carl Lucas and really that made this all worth it.

Luke paced nervously from one side of his living room to the other. Stride. Stop. Turn. Stride. Stop. Turn. This shouldn’t be so nerve wracking, he told himself. He was Luke Cage. Superhero, ex-Avenger, ex-hero for hire, ex-Power Man- and okay maybe talking about how many ‘ex’ things he was wasn’t the best way to go about this. But if he could survive prison, survive being experimented on, survive all the wars and battles and all of Daredevil’s ‘witty’ remarks, he could probably survive the next half hour. Probably. There was a knock on the door. Luke froze. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before crossing the room and leaning casually against the door frame as he opened the door. “Hey Danny.” Danny grinned up at him, somehow seeming to glow with his enthusiasm. Luke wondered if Danny would teach him that. “Hey Power Man,” Danny replied, stepping up on his toes to plant a kiss on Luke’s cheek before side-stepping around him to collapse on the sofa. Luke rolled his eyes and shut the door. “I told you not to call me that.”Danny looked up at him and held up a magazine from god knows where. ‘Power Man and Iron Fist Get Hot and Heavy after Fight With Latest Magma Super Villian ’, it read. “Sweet Christmas,” Luke muttered as he took the magazine, flipping to the article. “Don’t resist the Power Man brand,” Danny told him as Luke collapsed on the couch next to him. “Are they seriously suggesting we had sex in a collapsing building that was on fire?” Luke asked. Danny shrugged and stretched, and in typical cliche fashion, rested his arm on the top of the couch against Luke’s back. “Shame we didn’t think of it.” Luke gave him a look. Danny was nonplussed. “So, we going out?” Luke pursed his lips. “Not yet.” He’d thought about it, and - current media opinion aside- he wasn’t one for a relationship in the public eye. Danny gave him a curious look, but Luke was already slipping down to his knee in front of him. Danny’s back straightened in an instant. “Luke?” Luke had thought about this. Repeatedly. How he’d do it. In a restaurant seemed forced. After a fight seemed selfish. Here, in the safety of his apartment, it was intimate. It was the two of them, Luke and Danny, Power Man and Iron Fist, the Heroes for Hire. And when Danny rejected him - if, he reminded himself - it wouldn’t be too hard to lock himself in the bedroom and spend the next few days watching crappy tv on his laptop. Danny was still staring at him wide-eyed. Luke cleared his throat. This was the part he couldn’t quite get through in his fantasies. “Danny,” he began. “Daniel,” he tried again, staring pointedly at Danny’s hands in his lap. Should he get the ring out now, or was it still early enough that if this went wrong he could pretend it was a joke? He took another deep breath and took Danny’s hand. “I love you,” he began. Start with something undeniable. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He looked up at Danny. “With you,” he reiterated. “And it’s fine it you don’t feel the...” he choked on his own words. “If you don’t feel the same way.” He was looking at Danny’s feet now. “But I wanted you to know.” There was a silence and Luke finally built up the courage to look at Danny. Danny was inscrutable. That was a bad sign. Danny was supposed to be easy to read. “Is this a proposal?” Danny asked carefully. “Because this seems a rather dramatic way to say something you and I have said to each other a hundred times...but I don’t see a ring.” Luke pressed his lips together and pulled the ring box out of his pocket and placed it in Danny’s hands. Danny let out his breath slowly and Luke risked another look at Danny’s face. Danny was... crying? Or... watering up at least. Danny bit his lip. “That was the most romantic non-proposal I’ve ever heard.”“Hey, I gave you a ring,” Luke joked cautiously. Danny leant over and kissed him softly on his lips. “Pretty sure you have to actually ask.” More confident now, Luke sighed as if put-upon. “Will you marry me, Daniel Rand, or shall I trade this diamond ring for some chinese food?” Danny gasped affrontedly. “How rude,” he said as he slid off the couch onto Luke’s lap and took the ring box. “I suppose I’ll have to now, to save this precious ring from some greedy fast food vendor.” They stared at each other for a second, and then Luke’s lips quirked. “Does that mean-” “That we have to figure out if Cage-Rand or Rand-Cage sounds better as a married name? I’m partial to ‘Rage’ myself, but-”Luke cut him off with a kiss.

Send me a prompt and a ship (6/20 ficlets completed)

[crimesofadeadpool]

Also know as ‘Crimesofadeapool tries to get back into writing after a long time’ and only barely succeeds

It's A Trap!

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2f9g7b1

by CrimesOfADeadpool

Wade and Peter on the couch. Wade wonders if he can convince Peter to run away to Canada with him.

Words: 871, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Peter Parker, Wade Wilson

Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Additional Tags: Humor, Running Away, Politics, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Randomness, Fourth Wall, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Cute

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2f9g7b1

[crimesofadeadpool]

Also even though I’m totally in love with the whole rebel!Blackagar, rebel!Medusa is somehow 100% better

[crimesofadeadpool]

Omg I just finished Secret Wars: Attilan Rising and I think it may be my favourite limited comic series ever

[crimesofadeadpool]

Halloween pics, ones I took quickly in my bedroom. Might post up some of the ones my mum took later.

[crimesofadeadpool]

Omg I got this too, I was so confused

OK so apparently a bunch of people with throwaway email accounts have been going around and submitting a music video from some underground garage band to people (the band has already said they’re not the ones doing it). The music video is a bunch of cis guys in makeup and dresses and wigs and stuff, and apparently the video is being sent to trans girls in an effort to trigger dysphoria (and apparently somebody thought I’m a trans girl because I got it sent to me). If you get a music video for a song called Like a Lady by Crosa Rosa in your submission box, just delete it.

Stay safe everyone.

[crimesofadeadpool]

Madpool for the OTP asks? ;>

Who’s idea to live together? Tony’s. Because Wade just kept bursting into his apartment and Tony hoped if they lived together he might stop breaking things. (He was wrong) Who asked the other out? Wade. Repeatedly. He just didn’t expect Tony to accept. Where’s their favorite place for a date? If asked, anywhere there’s a fight. Secretly, they both prefer cuddling up in their apartment to Tony’s homemade cooking. Who makes the mess in the house? Who complains about the mess? Omg is this even a real question. Wade makes the mess, of course (unless Tony is trying out a new particular skill) Tony complains. Repeatedly. Even when he doesn’t care. Who cooks the food? Tony’s supposed to. Wade does when he’s in the mood for something that isn’t healthy. Something drenched in grease and fat and sugars. Who wakes up with nightmares? Both of them. They don’t talk about it much.  Would either want to have children? Would they adopt? They have Ellie over every other weekend. Tony tries to act distant to her but secretly adores her. Who is usually stuck cleaning up after the other? Tony is super glad he can pick up cleaning skills off the net because otherwise he’d have to resort to blowing up his apartment every few months to get rid of the grime and mess that Wade leaves. What kinds of gifts do they typically buy for each other, if any? Wade buys a bunch of skeleton toys whenever he comes across them, along with anything pop-culture related that he thinks Tony should be into. Mostly Halloween stuff really. Tony likes to buy a souvenir everytime he leaves on a mission. Who hoards the snacks? Tony. It’s the only way to keep them away from Wade. Who decorated most of the house? Tony with furniture, Wade with crap. Who’s constantly adopting/trying to adopt pets? Wade does it all the time to annoy Tony. Who’s constantly blasting their music to annoy the other? Tony tracked down songs that Wade hates in order to use them during fights. Who proposes? Tony organises it, ripped from the cheesiest rom com he could find.  Nicknames? Don’t even get me started. Who’s the top? Who’s the bottom? Wade loves being bottom, Tony’s flexible. What’s their favorite position? Both pretend to like increasingly kinky positions, but secretly they like the ones where they can watch each other. How many times do they do it? pfft Handjobs or blowjobs? Blowjobs. Tony has some very special techniques. Who finishes first? It’s a competition. Where do they do it? EverywhereAny kinks? Wade likes being pinned down, Tony likes experimenting. Roleplay? When Wade can persuade Tony. Wade likes playing pretend 50s housewife. Tony likes the ones where Wade doesn’t rant. Send me a ship (shut)