crochetwizardman

[crochetwizardman]

Gilligan's insipid cocktails #2: astronaut screwdriver

Vodka + tang

[crochetwizardman]

Ending the mental health crisis by showing everyone my big boobs (no bra)

[crochetwizardman]

Yeah, you're probably right. That beanie baby is a slut and loves it when I bounce the closet door kn*b off of it's body

My hostage escaped so I had to use more duct tape

[crochetwizardman]

It is a crime against me that nobody told me about the wizard emoji 🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️

[crochetwizardman]

[crochetwizardman]

something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch

[crochetwizardman]

*kiss kiss kiss*

Aw you're yucky. Yucky. Oh you're going to put your yucky little body on me? Okay. Let's be yucky together.

[crochetwizardman]

Aw you're yucky. Yucky. Oh you're going to put your yucky little body on me? Okay. Let's be yucky together.

[crochetwizardman]

who’s pussy is this? (said with genuine confusion)

[crochetwizardman]

Can someone please tell meatwad you go to jail for biting?

[crochetwizardman]

i've never been horny i don't even know what sex is

[crochetwizardman]

"What does Unfamiliar Joe Shmoe want out of life?"

"Um, food?"

"Alright, pleasure aspiration. He's turned on by... fat bitches... and, hmm, blondes. He is turned off by uhhh, vampires."

[crochetwizardman]

Enhance...

[crochetwizardman]

[crochetwizardman]

I was born to be an asshole but like, I follow a set of rules about it. Unlike other assholes who are immoral.

[crochetwizardman]

Hi I'm the gynecologist and I'll be moving your flaps around

[crochetwizardman]

That AI shit doesn't appeal to me because I fucked up cleverbot so much that it stopped talking to me lol