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I don't know what happened

So I went to the store to buy a monster with the money I got from a friend and an Amish guy tried to keep the door open for me and it slipped out of his hand and he just looked at me and said "thanks" and walked away I have never been so confused in my life

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Yeet yeet beat my meat gently down the street merrily merrily merrily merrily I just came on my feet *to the tune of row row row your boat*

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This is why Elon Musk wants to go to space to get the gold at the end

The Pot of Gold-Selfoss, Iceland by Romy Lee

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I HAVE FOUND A WAY TO NOT BE BOARD IN THE SHOWER

So for the past month I have been putting my phone in a Ziploc bag to watch YouTube in the shower but when I stepped in the shower I realized I could still use my phone without it getting wet and I know I have been selfish for not saying anything sooner but I am here now to tell you this wonderful news

Edit: holy shit I just found out that I can still use my fingerprint scanner

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Ok I think it's time for bed

I just used my flashlight on my phone to look for an app

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When you and someone else had the same idea to shoot up the school on the same day

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When you and someone else had the same idea to shoot up the school on the same day

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SLPT: Don’t have enough money for Christmas decorations AND food?

A pickle jar doubles as a snow globe until you’ve eaten all the pickles.

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Pain

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Friend: What you doin?

Me: shiiit just chillin

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Can someone send me money on PayPal my email is

dclarkworkemail@gmail.com

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Forbidden bröthēr

Bröther?

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Him and Groot is on some kinky shit

R U D E. B O Y

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THEY DID SURGERY ON A GRAPE

They did surgery on a grape