crusunik

[crusunik]

Post 3 with my question/statement thing.

Wait... I'm confused now... apparently I'm actually autistic?... (I find out just as I've, now, finally, graduated with my bachelor's) When I saw the autism stuff it seemed like maybe someone had simplified definition to where INTP traits qualify, so I looked at the self-diagnosis post to see if it would "incorrectly" say I'm autistic because of INTP traits... but, apparently I actually am? (it even explains IQ test issues)... But so much seems overlapping with INTP stuff, so where's the line?

First of all, congrats! Welcome to the club of late diagnosis! :P

This is a good question that I have been wondering about myself. The closest thing I have to an explanation is that you’re seeing the autistic traits as INTP ones because you are an INTP. Many extreme traits are symptoms of autism. People also tend to draw examples of personality traits using extreme examples. Lets see if I can come up with an example for better explanation. Okay. So it’s a fairly well-known INTP trait to need to retreat and process emotional information. It is not, however, a neurotypical trait to be unable to speak if there’s too much emotional input. That is an autistic trait that I experience and used to think was explained by being an INTP.

Another thought I have had is that I tried to explain my lack of understanding of social rules with inferior Fe. I know that personally, I latched onto that inferior Fe explanation and researched it for all it was worth. However, there is a difference between not understanding social rules and choosing not to conform to social norms. If inferior Fe actually did mean not understanding social rules, then every INTP would be neurodivergent. Obviously, that is not the case.

It’s also important to remember that MBTI and cognitive functions are imprecise theories meant to explain behavior without regard to neurodivergencies. Could someone have ADHD because they’re an Ne dom? No. The neurodivergency would come first as it’s a measurable genetic disorder.

This is something I’m continuing to think about and develop more ideas about. Feel free to message me if you want to talk more about this or autism in general (*harsh whisper* ITS MY SPECIAL INTEREST).

@lophiusdragon - Your thoughts?

[crusunik]

Post 2 that I was looking for.

Autism Self-Diagnosis Masterpost

Questioning if you might be autistic? Have you always known you were different and are trying to figure out why? Is professional diagnosis not an option for you (cost/stigma/bias/etc)? Then here is a list of resources to help you figure out if you are autistic.

This post is broken up into categories of resources based on subject matter. Some links may contain ableism and medicalized language but if they do they also have useful information which is why they were posted. 

Self-diagnosis is a long process of reading and researching and self-reflection. A decision should not be made overnight. However, it is completely valid to self-diagnose as autistic (see the second to last section for more on this). If you are self-diagnosing, read as much as you can written by autistic people. Read their blogs and their tumblrs. Read about the autistic experience. Talk to autistic people if you are able to. 

If you have questions, feel free to submit them to @autism-asks, a blog dedicated to answering questions about autism. 

About Autism

What is Autism?, in Plain Language

What is Autism?

What is Autism?

The Dictionary of Autism

Myths About Autism

Ask an Autistic (video series)

General Autism Criteria

DSM-V criteria

ICD-10 Criteria

ASD Checklist

DSM Criteria for Autism Explained

Positively Autistic: A List of (Positive) Autistic Traits

ASAN’s About Autism (With Characteristics)

Inclusive Autistic Traits

Simplified ASD Diagnostic Criteria

Revised Alternative Autism Criteria (criteria written by an autistic person)

Childhood Traits (this is from the CDC and is very medicalized)

I Think I Might Be Autistic

Autism Screening Quizzes

Musing of an Aspie’s Adult Diagnosis Series

Stimming

What is Stimming?

Stimming 101, or: How I learned to stop Worrying and Love the Stim

Types of Stimming

A List of Stims

The High Cost of Self-Censoring (or Why Stimming Is a Good Thing)

Sensory Processing Differences

What is Sensory Processing Disorder? (video)

Adolescent and Adult SPD Checklist

SPD Resource Center

Understanding Sensory Processing Issues

Masterpost: Sensory Differences

Sensory Sensitivities and Atypical Sensory Processing series

How to Reduce Sensory Overload

Processing a Sensory Overload

Shutdowns and Meltdowns

What Does a Meltdown Feel Like?

“Shutdown”- What it is and What it Isn’t

Where I go When I Shutdown

Anatomy of a Meltdown

Shutdown: A Specific Type of Meltdown

Special Interests

What’s so Special About a Special Interest?

Special Interests

How Do I Know For Sure What My Special Interests Are?

What are Special Interests? (video)

Examples of Special Interests

Autism and Special Interests

Executive Dysfunction

Executive Dysfunction

Executive Dysfunction vs. Procrastination

Executive Function Series

The “Joys” of Executive Dysfunction

3 Symptoms of Executive Dysfunction

Executive Dysfunction

Alexithymia

What is Alexithymia? (video)

Alexithymia Question

Emotional Dysfunction: Alexithymia and ASD

Alexithymia Questionaire

On Self-Diagnosis

My Stance on Self-Diagnosis

ASD Paper Diagnosis vs. Self-Diagnosis: Pros and Cons

Yes, Self-Diagnosis Can Be Valid

Autism Self-Diagnosis Is Not Special Snowflake Syndrome

The Myth of “Official”: Autism and Self-Diagnosis Skeptics

Blogs By Autistics

(This is certainly not a comprehensive list of autistic bloggers. If you have any suggestions of blogs that should be added, feel free to message me)

Autistic Hoya

Autistic Women’s Network

The Caffeinated Autistic

A Heart Made Fullmetal

Musings of an Aspie

Neurowonderful

Non-Speaking Autistic Speaking 

Ollibean

A Quiet Week In The House

Radical Neurodivergence Speaking

StrangerDarkerBetter

Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism

The Third Glance

Unstrange Mind

We Are Like Your Child

Yes, That Too 

[crusunik]

After realizing at 11:30 pm as I'm trying to go to sleep that I can just look up when I saw these posts and looked into it (apprehensively) and then began to think I'm autistic, I finally found these posts (2.5 hours later at 2 am), so I'm going to reblog them so I can find them again.

Hello friends! Time for another personal post.

As many of you know, I have been on an adventure for the past 3 years of trying to discern what exactly the heck is wrong with my brain. So far, I have had both generalized and social anxiety tacked onto my list by my therapist (in an informal diagnosis fashion), but those both never felt quite right by themselves. I continued exploring possibilities sans therapist, since I couldn’t figure out how to communicate to her that just talking about how my week was didn’t help me figure anything out.

That said, I am fairly certain I am autistic.

I’m never 100% certain about anything, but I’ve read through as many diagnostic criteria as I can find, and have fit all of them. This is self-diagnosed and, at this point, I don’t plan on getting a professional diagnosis. Of course, this may change in the future.

I fully support (well-informed) self-diagnosis in other people, but am very wary of diagnosing myself, so I’ve taken my time and come back to the diagnostic criteria again and again over the past 6+ months. I’m still not comfortable announcing that I’m autistic to most people in my actual life, but I wanted to openly be a part of the autistic community on Tumblr so I felt a sort of announcement would be appropriate. Better safe than sorry, anyways.

If you have questions, feel free to ask. Unless you’re just going to yell at me for self-diagnosing. I already feel guilty about it, but there’s just no good reason for me to get a professional diagnosis at this point.

I may eventually post a list of my symptoms as pertaining to diagnostic criteria.

Thank you for reading and have a nice day!

TLDR: I’m autistic, which explains why I’ve got all this anxiety. Also, prepare yourself for a buttload of reblogs about autism.

[crusunik]

If anyone else was wondering the frequency of light with wavelength of the planck length would be about 62 billion yottahertz (YHz).

Though, thinking about it, since a wavelength has a peek and a trough, 31 billion yottahertz might be the maximum possible.

[crusunik]

I feel like cacti should have needle-shaped oxalate too to add another layer of stabbiness.

I feel like a lot of the discourse about inferior functions erroneously treats them as a thing you hate and want to fight, instead of a thing you look at and are like “OK but what do I do with this”, rather as if it were a weird vegetable in your farm share

[crusunik]

When I imagine this, it ends up being like the baked versions of chips (lays?), which is probably unreasonable, but prevents me from sharing in this misery.

I had this horrific dream last night in which I was chewing up an eggshell and it was the worst feeling possible and every time I think about it I want to throw up so now you all have to think about it too and share in my misery.

[crusunik]

My dad put a little micky mouse topiary next to a large old tree and let it grow on to the tree because he thought it looked nice or something... it put roots into the tree and choked limbs to death so hard that it killed and broke some very large limbs from the tree, but was so tight and strong it held the broken limbs in place!... The tree is basically doomed at this point...

i just gotta rant so like liSTEN im a nursing major and i only needed like 3 more classes for a bio minor so watevr but like obv im knowledgeable in like human bio but i needed this “survey plant kingdom” class for it so like i just finished this botany class but its fuCKING ME UP like i dont recognize my own thoughts half the time is that normal????

i get a lot of asks like this and there’s something the botany community refers to as ‘plant blindness’ where before u start learning about plants u just grow up not really thinking about them and letting them fade into the background and stuff and then when you start learning about them you start losing the blindness and being like ‘wait whomst the fuck’ because all the preconceived notions and assumptions about plants that u didnt even know you had start being systematically broken and proved wrong and its very overwhelming and deadass changes how u see ur environment. like being Fucked Up after learning about plants is totally a phenomenon

[crusunik]

I find I'm less hungry and get less headaches when I eat less sugar and starchy stuff (well it's a little more complicated but basically), and I've read that keto can be useful for certain conditions, so it could be useful for the sugar aspect of that kind of thing, but the dietary category doesn't seem like it's really distinguished enough for that, though it could be a useful starting point to initially reduce the size of the set before further constraining it.

Do you get that twinge of inaccuracy in your mind every time you hear a rose thorn saying like, "every rose has its thorns," or is it not one of those kinds of things that immediately draws one's attention for you?

I definitely know what you’re talking about, but not really in the case of rose prickles. Peoplegenerally refer to any pointy plant appendage as a thorn, and often times it can be difficult to tell which term is actually correct without careful study, so I might not even know.When people are using the idiom “every rose has its thorns” or something along those lines, it doesn’t bother me (though I do find it kind of funny because no roses don’t have thorns). Buuuut… when people are specifically talking about the prickles, I will correct them. Example: “There’s a rose bush in my neighbor’s yard that has SO many thorns.”One that really bugs me is how many “vegetables” are really fruits. It’s not even hard to tell what’s a fruit and what’s not. Fruits have seeds (this is a gross simplification but generally it WORKS). Any other part of a plant that you eat is a vegetable. Broccoli, lettuce, carrots, potatoes. Those are vegetables. Squash, tomatoes, okra, green beans, peppers. Those are fruits. The way we commonly use the terms fruit and vegetable are based on sugar content and nothing else, which is STUPID! And not even that useful in nutrition!Ugh. Anyways. I will end this annoyed rant with some cute fruit emojis. 🌶🍆🌽🍅🍋🍐🍊🍉🍇🍓🥥🥝🍑🍒🥒🥑🍍🍌🍎

[crusunik]

In my experience, INTP can be right like this more often than an INFJ, yet the extremely specific constraints on this statement might make it only equal, and it might require metaphorically absorbing the "vibes" from an INFJ.

At least for me (an INTP), after spending time with an INFJ, I noticed that the same things crossed my mind but I had dismissed them, because I thought that people were less simplistic than that, so I started listening to it more, but I also remembered all the times it wasn't as simple (primarily conclusions she had about me), so I could give more accurate weight to the conclusions and realize when a more complex conclusion was warranted.

Basically, the INTP "conspiracy theories" would be the result of the INTP having the same "vibes" conclusion as an INFJ, dismissing it due to assuming things are more complicated than that (as in more like an intp), and actively thinking up alternative explanations, which wouldn't really be "vibes" anymore either.

An INTP using some minor analysis and comparison with past experience combined with the vibes (and vibes about analysis) can result in some surprisingly accurate conclusions with very little evidence.

Most to least intuitive types

Generally speaking, where intuition essentially = the ability to be right about things with very little evidence. This does not mean being prophetic btw. The types around the middle point are right more often than wrong, and the types up the top are right more often than wrong. The types down the bottom are obviously wrong more often than right WHEN GOING OFF VIBES ONLY. Basically, if you reversed this list you would have most to least likely to have a conspiracy theory.

Infj

Intj

Entj

Enfj

Istp

Isfp

Enfp

Entp

Estp

Estj

Infp

Istj

Intp

Esfj

Isfj

Esfp

Just some thoughts

[crusunik]

I don’t really see where I used science to prove anything which is why I was confused by what they said.

I got the stuff about science proving things from this statement:

But in all seriousness, though, infinity doesn’t scientifically exist……. It’s a mathematical concept for uncountable, human numbers. It can’t be proven

This would seem to suggest that it not being able to be proven is of significance to whether or not it scientifically exists. That’s what I was pointing out:

That science is for understanding.

Not proving. 

Infinity doesn’t help us to really understand much anyway. If it can’t be reached, how can it be understood? Infinity has nothing to do with science and has no place in it. Infinity is a mathematical concept and math doesn’t translate well in science. That’s why odds and probabilities exist. If infinity can’t be reached, it makes no sense in science 

Except it does help us understand, and, really, is already in, things as simple as acceleration, velocity, and distance, and newton came up with a way to reach infinity, called calculus, so that he could understand these things. 

Velocity is acceleration times time, but how far has the thing traveled while it accelerated? you can’t just multiply the velocity by time because it hasn’t been going the same speed the whole time. There have been a number of velocities that is not finite (aka is infinite) while the object has been accelerating, so you must add this infinite number of points together to find the distance, so we do so and get time squared times half the acceleration plus the initial velocity.

Btw infinity is used in calculations I think. But the high brow stuff in maths. I don't think so much in science.

- @ what-why-how-because

Again, it’s used in basic physics among other things.

Infinity isn’t a number, numbers can translate somewhat in science, but infinity cannot be translated.

Infinity is literally a crappy concept that only complicates things

It’s already there, though. As you said, 

Also infinity isn’t a created concept. Concepts aren’t so much created as they are almost always there, though there may be exceptions. We just translate concepts (abstractions) into words in our languages

We observe infinity in things like accelerations, so we name it and point it out, and we figure out ways to calculate it, but infinity was there to begin with.

Theorem: I have infinite hair

Proof: I am finding my hair in all sorts of places not attached to my head, leading to the conclusion that I must be loosing hair. However, I do not seem to have any less hair on my head.

[crusunik]

Science doesn't really prove, does it? Scientific provability doesn't seem like a reasonable criteria.

Theorem: I have infinite hair

Proof: I am finding my hair in all sorts of places not attached to my head, leading to the conclusion that I must be loosing hair. However, I do not seem to have any less hair on my head.

[crusunik]

It really bothers me is when a lab tells you exactly what's going to happen and then asks you what you think will happen...

me in third grade: i cant wait to get to college so i can do labs and things like a Real Scientist!!!! it’ll be so fuckin cool and exciting and not boring at all!!!

labs in college:

[crusunik]

PSA: 11 is above average. In 5, someone with 11 strength would be able to lift 330 lbs, which, I think, would actually be getting into the higher end for women, depending on height and weight.

When you drop dice while rolling stats, imagine that represents people who had lower stats deciding to become a farmer instead or dying because they weren't cut out for adventuring.

DM: I want to start playing DND accurately and with proper rules, so I have a big question of how you, a weak elven lass of 11 strength, are carrying 417 KNIVES. PLAYER: Oh you know. DM: NO I DON’T! PLAYER: Various different locations. In her hat, strapped to her legs, hidden in her cloak, etcetera.  OTHER PLAYER: Knife in the tiddy. PLAYER: Perhaps.

[crusunik]

17 things I did in 2017

@limdalamdalomda (whose name makes me think of λ) tagged me and then I didn't post anything until now because I was having difficulty thinking of 17 things but felt weird having any other activity before responding.

1. I graduated with my bachelor's.

2. I was called once for an interview with Boeing, but didn't get the job or any other interviews.

3. I figured out that I'm probably autistic (unless that was the beginning of 2018)

4. I moved back in with my parents.

5. I saw the partial solar eclipse and took pictures of its convoluted shadows.

6. I started playing trumpet in my church orchestra.

7. I got a 3D printer.

8. I found a powerlifting gym and started going there.

9. I got a bench power supply and started experimenting with electroplating/electroforming, especially 3D printed things.

10. I accidentally started forming large crystals in the electroforming solution when much of it evaporated while I was thinking about how to proceed, so I left it to evaporate down all the way thinking the concentrations would be off and it'd be better to remix it, also adding additional ingredients I got, but, it, now, seems to have stopped or nearly stopped (now that I think of it, this might have been 2018 too, because I don't think I've left it that long).

11. I found a new group to play d&d again with and 3D printed miniatures for it.

12. I'm

13. Sure

14. There

15. Was

16. More

17. but nothing else of note really comes to mind.

[crusunik]

Coffee are nice to drink while reading about data.

[crusunik]

To be fair, intelligence and personality are both mental functional things, so it would seem to make more sense that they could correlate. A more equivalent comparison might be coordination or sports or art or maybe applying makeup or something.

Though, actually, I just realized that I have a spreadsheet I made a while ago for something else with statistical data relating intelligence to type. In the study of 14148 individuals, 54% of intuitives had an IQ of over 130 while only 18% of sensors did. Controlled for expected type distribution, this is 51% of intuitives and 18% of sensors. Unfortunately, assuming all types have a standard deviation of 15, this would suggest the average IQ of the sample was 120 (it was probably done at a university or something). Normalizing to an average IQ of 100, gives 8.5% of intuitives and 1.5% of sensors with an IQ of 130 or more and average IQs of 109 for intuitives and 96.7 for sensors.

Notice, while an intuitive is several times as likely to have a 130+ IQ, the averages are still less than one standard deviation away, so they're still quite close.

To be fair, maybe sensors are like 5 times as likely as intuitives to be 2 standard deviations above the mean in makeup application and/or wardrobe choice or amount of exercise or something to create the appearance stereotype. Without data, it's hard to know.

If you believe that intuitives are more intelligent than sensors, it comes with the obligation to accept that sensors are prettier than intuitives.

[crusunik]

Interesting. If asked about differences in seeking accommodations, I would have suggested similar results but with gender reversed and different reasoning. I would expect males to be less likely similar to how they're less likely to go to the doctor when sick and probably less likely to ask for help in general.

Personally, I'm probably more likely to default to trying to bear it and attempt to keep doing what I'm doing, but, then, when I was younger, the constant high pitched ringing coming from the walls (which I hadn't figured out yet) was enough when I was trying really hard to concentrate, and there's not much that could be done about that (technically, something like a room with mattresses covering the walls might have worked, but that's a little extreme and I wouldn't be surprised if I still had a problem with the sound of my blood pumping or something like that).

On the other hand, I have asked when I could tell it was also affecting a female friend, but she is far more likely to ask for more time on homework or even tests/quizzes. (though, to be fair, I don't know for sure she's autistic. She didn't get any official accommodations, so she's probably not diagnosed, but it would seem to fit really well.) I think, asking for myself I've only asked someone I knew well or someone who seemed to be more aware if they could do something.

It would make sense for agreeableness (big 5) to be a factor, but my understanding is that, in the general population, the main differences between male and female are at the extremes like overlapping normal distributions, so the expected agreeableness of an individual given gender would be about the same, but the least agreeable person would very likely be male and the most agreeable person would very likely be female. Of course distributions and manifestation for the autistic population could be different.

As far as what it's like, the best way I can describe it is like the sound is stabbing and/or squeezing my brain/thoughts. Overlapping conversations/noises and/or a certain volume/frequencies of talking/noise are probably the most common now. My reaction is probably more continuing to struggle to do whatever I'm doing or to escape. If there are a bunch of people talking and someone asks me a question that I have to calculate or process and then continues talking (possibly to someone else) about the question or something tangentially related (or unrelated) to the question or something, I may shove my thumbs in my ears and cover my eyes and/or squeeze my head so I can come up with the answer.

What level of thing bothers me and how much also somewhat seems to depend on what I'm doing at the time, how I feel at the time, and other unknown factors that seem to vary from day to day.

My expression probably looks something like concentration, confusion, or pain. I might wince or the expression might intensify with the fluctuations in noise.

Hey, so I need help with something ! I’m writing a book right now and the main cast is autistic. I know this is like a big bag of bears as I’m not autistic myself, so I’m doing a lot of research and reading a lot of stuff, and I needed some information on sensory overload, especially auditory. How would you describe an auditory overload ? How does it affect you ? What do you do to make it stop ? And do you have good examples of characters that experience that kind of overload ? I just want to get it right so it doesn’t just read as “this character gets annoyed by other people talking” and more like “this character experiences actual distress so it’s not like he’s just a jerk (which he is but that’s not relevant)” ?