cryingpariah

[cryingpariah]

Modern AU Mimeapple but it’s just Marco trying to stop Crocodile and Teach from embarrassing him in front of Mimi during one of her usual visits to Orange Julius.

Some of their actions include but is not limited to

- Telling her at the picture of her taped to his mirror (insinuating he’s made out with it at least once.)

- Asking if she thinks he’s cute (and almost insisting that she must because why else would she keep coming to Orange Julius for drinks??)

- Asking for her number for Marco (who is standing just behind, mentally begging for mercy)

- Asking if they’re hiring at Hot Topic (Teach almost got strangled for that one when they got back home.)

- Inviting her over for dinner and to meet Pops (who is apparently so excited to meet her)

What Croc and Teach fling at him on the clock is beebee pellets to the artillery barrage of embarrassment that Pops is all-too versed in. He loves the old man, he really does... but does he really need to put his old junior high lacrosse team photo up on the mantle when Mimi is over for dinner?

"It's important to take pride in your accomplishments!" Pops says, and Marco would probably agree if it wasn't for the fact that pic was taken when he had knees like breadsticks, aqua braces, and a tuft of blonde hair like a deviled egg! 😭😭

But even that's small potatoes compared to... him. That little bundle of blue plush feathers dragged into the middle of the living room by Stefan, the traitorous pooch! Marco doesn't even have time to pick him up discreetly before Mimi is asking if the cute little bird doll is one of Stefan's toys.

Pleaseletthembealonepleaseletthembealonepleaselet-

"Zehahahaha, is that Pipi? Holy shit, it is! You brought her out to meet yer new girlfriend, Marco? 🤣"

"Of course he did. He used to drag her just about everywhere. It's a miracle she still has tail feathers"

"Yeah, no thanks to you, asshole!" Marco snaps at Crocodile, beet-red "You kept messing them up!"

"I only pulled out one by accident!"

"Yeah, yeah, you got distracted watching Thundercats. Guess I should be lucky you didn't slobber all over her."

"What was that?"

"Pops told me all about how you used to chew on everything when you were a kid. He said he had to get you toys from the pet store."

"Shut up, no he didn't!"

"I said I was considering it"

Mimi's taking all of this in and snickering because she's seeing a side of Marco that she never knew existed. Just another side of him for her to adore.

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Bookstore Part-timer ❤️

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Mahina Fun Fact!!!

She has accidentally broken her father’s ribs a couple of times when hugging him…but Pōhaku actually prefers it cause it means she REALLY needed a hug. (She feels bad but Pōhaku always insists his ribs are fine)

What is a few broken ribs between family in the wacky world of One Piece! (Mostly anyway)

Seriously though, Pōhaku is more than willing to endure some bruising and tight hugs if it means his not-so-little girl is okay. That’s what any parent would do, isn’t it?

Mahina is always to quick to apologize and offers to patch him back up which Pōhaku always tries to refuse but gives in too eventually.

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[Arguably The Worst Idea Charlie’s Ever Had]

*As the waves from the cold and hot front clash, Charles holds onto his burned support beam with all the strength he can and kicks his feet*

Charlie: (Freaking Out) OhGodsOhGodsOhGodsOhGodsOhGodsOhGodsOhGodsOhGodsOhGods!!! I’m gonna freaking DIE!!! J-Just hold on Charles, hold on and kick with as much strength you can. Don’t think about the fact that if you turn over, you’ll sink into the abyss.

*The beam rolls a little and Charlie freaks out and leans to fix it, almost tipping over while doing so*

Charlie: (Crying) This isn’t supposed to be happening!! Mahina said I’d be fine, Victoria said I’d be fine…WELL I’M NOT FINE!! WHY IS THIS PLACE HELL!?

*The beam tumbles a bit and Charlie screams again*

Charlie: *He begins to hyperventilate* O-Ok…just…calm down, freaking out isn’t going to make your death any better. (Freaking Out) Oh Gods, if I die here my mom and dad will get an MIA and my mom can’t handle me being an MIA!!

*Charlie kicks his feet before pulling them back out because he feels tired*

Charlie: (Angry) I am going to KILL my friends if I survive this!! (Calmer) No No, they didn’t know this would’ve happened and if you’re struggling than so are they…(Dejected) No they aren’t, those women are invincible badasses. You’re a loser Charles!! You know it and so does everyone else!!!

*A large wave approaches the support beam*

Charlie: *He sighs* (Angry) SON OF A-

*The wave topples over the support beam and Charles loses his grip the beam, as he watches the light fade from the surface…he decides to do one last thing*

Charlie: (Gurgling) FFFUUUUGGGHHH!!!

*Charles sinks below the waves*

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2025-05-07

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Quick Kalifa drawing 😛

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Zeff: So after the dumbass and the guy who's clearly the one who's been holding custody of that singular brain cell of his for decades take off north-east in a ramshackle dinghy, the little eggplant still thinks he can get away with sticking around here even though it's clear as day he belongs with that ship of dreamers. I realized then that nothin' was gonna get his ass out the door 'cept for makin' him think he didn't owe a shitty geezer like me a thing. We told him his soup was crap and he was better off cooking for pirates than a nice place like this. 'Course we were lying through our teeth, though. That kid makes the best kombu daikon soup of anyone I've ever met. You mark my words, he's going to reach heights the rest of us could never even dream. That little eggplant was born to be a chef. Maybe if he's ever back in these waters, he can show me a thing or two about what goes into that soup... *notices Carla and Maenad have gone quiet* Ah, sorry ladies! 😅 Guess an old man like me can't help getting carried away with stories. You probably only needed the stuff about Kreig.

Carla, ugly crying under her mask in between mouthfuls of grilled chicken and butternut squash rice pilaf: It's fine.

Maenad: *chirps with her mouth full*

Carla: Of course I want to ask about the dessert menu, but not NOW!!

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[Charle’s Song About A Mad King]

Charlie: Y’know…A couple times in my life, I’ve heard this legend about a Mad King with dreams of conquest and domination but he ended up being killed for his sins

Mahina: Really now?

Charlie: Yeah, it’s a deep story about how the selfish and merciless never prosper and if they do…well it doesn’t last forever. In fact, it kinda made me think of a song.

Victoria: (Curiously) Oh? Can we hear it?

Charlie: It’s uh…kinda in development but sure.

*Charlie forms a guitar out of clouds and sits back against the wall on his bed before clearing his throat*

Charlie: *He strums the strings* (Softly) 🎵 So spare me an ale and I’ll tell you the story, of a madman with kingly ambitions and his sights set on glory…

He razed all the seas and climbed the largest of peaks and his crew was all filled with the worst kinds of freaks, but they all bowed their heads for the ruler of the weak… 🎶

Mahina: (Mouthing) Wow.

Charlie: 🎶 He killed those he hated and he hated a bunch but the madman ate kitten and puppies for lunch…

With a crown made of teeth and a throne forged in flame, He'd laugh as the skies sobbed at whispering his name. His ship was a graveyard that sailed without sails, Crewed by ghosts who had perished in treacherous tales…

He danced with the storm and he drank from the sea, And cursed every god who had dared disagree… 🎶

Victoria: (Excited) Yo this is actually really good!!

Charlie: 🎶 But the drums they went silent, the sea held its breath,When the mad king was cornered and danced into death…

With gods on the mountain and justice below, he roared at the heavens, but fate struck the blow. His crew turned to legends and his name turned to dust…

The island was swallowed by silence and rust. Now sailors still whisper, when night hides the sun: "The devil once ruled...but his kingdom is…gone." 🎶

Mahina: What about that is “In development?”

Charlie: *He chuckles nervously* It’s uh…n-not finished yet. Yurokiki!!

Victoria: Bullshit!! It was great!!

Yuen: Who’s that song even about?

Charlie: I already told you, I don’t know.

Kiki: (Curious) Where’d you hear the legend from?

Charlie: Oh it’s just an old tale my mother used to tell me as a kid, something that she would tell me and my brothers to be a good person.

Mahina: Interesting…

Charlie: I actually really like that story, I don’t know why but it’s just…weirdly relaxing if that makes sense? I don’t know what part but maybe it’s just my Mom telling me it.

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Carla: *looking over the Baratie menu* Ohhh, this all looks so good... 😩

Maenad: *salivating over the fillet mignon*

Carla: Mae, remember, we gotta pace ourselves. Just one entree might put our meal budget for the month in the red.

Mae: *taking the golden piece of armor and plopping it on the table* Skraaaawwwp.

Carla: Mae! We can't pay with that! That's our only way to track down Kreig! I don't even know if they take anything but credit?

Waiter: Have you ladies decided on your- ah crap, Boss! We missed one of Kreig's golden hunks of junk!

Zeff: Well, just chuck it in the coffers!

Tombs: It's ours, actually. We've been on Kreig's trail for a while now.

Waiter: Bounty hunters, huh? Oh yeah, you guys do kinda fit the look.

Chef from across the room: The woman's wearing a SKULL, PHILL!!

Tombs: *looking around the wrecked Baratie* I take it this is his handiwork?

Waiter: Yeah, the prick stormed us yesterday trying to take us for every last scrap of food and berri we had. Bastard even wanted the boss's logbook.

Tombs: To make a second go at the Grand Line...

Waiter: Yeah, how'd you know that?

Tombs: Nobody would raid such a large restaurant unless they needed a huge supply of provisions for a long journey. And your boss must have a history in the Grand Line, otherwise a logbook for any of the four blues wouldn't be nearly as useful to him.

Waiter: Uh, yeah I guess that makes sense... wait, don't go thinking you can cash in on Boss's bounty just because he's reti- *screams as he nearly gets stabbed by a flying knife*

Zeff: DON'T YOU DARE GO ACCUSING A WOMAN OF BEING SO UNDERHANDED, BASTARD!!

Waiter: I'M SORRY, BOSS!! 😭😭

Tombs: *looking past the shaking waiter at Zeff* You don't need to worry, sir. Inactive pirates and honest businessmen don't play a factor when I choose my targets. And right now, I'm directing all my energy to hunting Kreig.

Maenad: *hisses in agreement*

Zeff: *guffaws* Anyone who wants to wring that brassy dumbass's neck is always welcome here! 😁 Consider that gold disc your ticket to anything you'd like on the menu. I can tell you everything that went down yesterday once your meal is dished up!

Mae: *screech of joy*

Tombs: *screech of joy on the inside* Does the shrimp scampi come with red pepper flakes?

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[Arrival In Dressrosa (Again)]

*As a portal opens on the shore of Dressrosa, the Sneak-Wave Pirates step out*

Rein: *He breathes in deeply* (relaxed) Ahh, what a lovely summer’s day.

Jolene: (Happy) It’s good to be back in the city of love.

Hati: Didn’t you get stabbed here…like a bunch?

Jolene: (Proudly) 42 times in one day once, yes I have!!

Mono: (Curiously) I wonder if Juliet is still single?

Rein: What about Nailah or Gerd?

Mono: Nailah is experiencing her own Bisexuality and Gerd and I have a pretty open thing.

Rein: Well alright than, that sounds good than.

Sol: (Curious) So when’s do I fight in the Colosseum!? Shikikikiki!!! I’m excited!!

Rein: In Three Days, till than we’re going to vacation here. Remember everyone, we’re poor so anything you want is something you’ll just have to take.

Jolene: Gotcha

Mono: Yup

Hati: I’m gonna go try and find that nice baker lady!

Sol: Sounds good.

Cherry: Alright.

Michael: I wasn’t here last time…

Rein: Oh yeah, you weren’t. Well just…go off and do whatever you want, maybe cover those wings though.

Michael: Alright, I’ll go get my shawl.

*As Michael leaves, Rein looks back at his crew*

Rein: Alright everyone, let’s break on 3. Ready? 1! 2! 3!

*The crew all split up and go their separate ways, some forming a small duo*

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[Charles “Coyote” Craven…Not Having A Fun Time]

(Charles actually came out amazingly and I like this look on him)

Charles is a rather cowardly man who started off with no friends, a weak body, and scrubbed floors with 0 respect. However, once he made friends with Mahina than not too long afterwards Victoria, he was basically set on the journey to become…“Better?”

Charles got promoted way too fast cause of the Marineford War but because of his training afterwards and support from his friends (more like friendly verbal abuse from Victoria), he became stronger. Sure he’s still not as buff as most other male marines but he’s not a stick anymore, he’s still a coward though.

That’s ok though, sometimes cowards are braver than most. Charlie’s proven a couple of times that he can be a man of action, he’s a hell of a sniper and his devil fruit isn’t to be taken lightly. (Especially since he can literally rain bullets…hard water droplets that act like bullets but still).

Currently in this photo, he’s just been captured having to choose between either having white rice or an extra fruit cup, it’s incredibly hard for this overthinking lad.

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whatever else you have to say about katy perry i do have to say "do you ever feel like a plastic bag" is maybe one of the all time funniest ways to start a song

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Gabe did really good at sleeping in his own bed for a while but now he's running to his daddies' room nearly every night lately bc he's been having nightmares about a laughing zebra head chasing him around.

Grandpa Rocks, for his part, is kinda bummed his grandson is such a scardey croc. He thought his wani had become such a ruthless pirate, what happened??

He just wanted more for his grand baby! The circus was…nice but it’s small potatoes for the small minded! Why create entertainment when you can be the entertained! He had so much power at such a young age, the world could be at his feet if he only but the effort in! And the first step to conquering that world was rule its darker crevices, like the hauntings of those who’ve past!

Xebec never got to plead this case, what with Gabe running in terror every-time he showed his disembodied face. He watched with a sigh as he hid for cover under the covers with his sons (and the other one) aiding and abetting his weakness with soft words and hugs.

Ridiculous! Pathetic! It’s like they didn’t care if the boy had a backbone or not! Didn’t they know pressure made diamonds! He just wanted the boy to shine!

For a reason beyond his understanding, Xebec's still heart moved seeing the fat globs of tears rolling down the kid's face. Not a twist but not a beat either, something else entirely.

He disappeared before he dare gave it a name.

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S-Hawk🪽

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hi handsome are u alone

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Reread one of my fav ASL fics. 10/10 have and will read Two and a Half Pirates by Pirate_Trafalguy again.

Please check it out if you haven’t!

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Modern Dragon but he had a few stints here and there as a weatherman, and you can tell how he’s had those stints in different times in his life because it’s literally the “that’s baby spinach” to “everyone in McKinney is dead” whenever a glitch happens.

He was knowledgeable, he was usually and most importantly he could roll with the punches with such humorous chill. His Halloween green screen costumes are still the stuff of legends, whispered amongst interns like an urban myth rather than a man. The local news station always has a space and a spare suit in his size should he ever want to return to them.

While we’re here, Dragon is also absolutely the first guy in the infamous holiday artichoke dip video who is about to throw up but doesn’t want to be rude 😭! He just wanted to potentially give her advice and he almost died on air!